7/12/06

* * * From my comments: I have! I have kissed, petted, cuddled both a baby and adult tiger. It is the MOST awesome thing. Did you get to hear them “purr” or really it is actually more of a rumble. They never did purr for us. The funny thing is that Fred has said, repeatedly, that he’d love to be in a cage with an adult tiger, and he can’t believe that I would NEVER enter a cage with one. I guess I just have a better sense of self-preservation than he does.

* * *
I wondered if you have watched Psych, the new detective comedy on USA. No, we haven’t checked it out, but I might set up the DVR to tape an episode or two so I can see if I like it.
* * *
Has your center of gravity changed each time you lost another fifty pounds? Not that I’ve noticed, but I’ve never been the most graceful of people. I did notice that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I tend to stumble across the room because I have NO balance in the middle of the night. But that was true before I had the surgery!
* * *
I think that for the wondrous once in a lifetime tiger experience, you deserve a lifetime free pass from Fred. Anything “bad” you do, you can now say “But I took you to see the tigers!” and automatically get a reprieve. What do you think?? I think he’d just respond with “Yes, but if I hadn’t asked about spending time with the cubs, we never would have!”, and then he’d demand that I do something for him, the bastard.
* * *
Have you read “A Walk in the Woods” by Bill Bryson? Before you attempt Mt. Katahdin you should read it. Yeah, I read it a couple of years ago. In fact, I think it was after I read it that I started talking about how much fun it would be to do the Appalachian Trail. I’ve changed my mind about that, especially since I’ve come to realize I don’t enjoy hiking all that much, but I do think it would be kind of fun to do various sections of the Appalachian Trail.
* * *
There’s a black and white cat that lives in the neighborhood who likes to, every few days, come into our back yard and try to hang out. I think he wants to be friends with our cats, but our cats respond to his presence by freaking the hell out, especially Mister Boogers. I was just sitting here at my desk when I heard something hit the cat door, and I looked over to see Sugarbutt with his tail all puffed out. I thought maybe a bird had hit the cat door – it’s happened before – and then a second later Mister Boogers came flying through the cat door and attacked Sugarbutt. I looked out the window and saw the black and white cat under the tree, and went out to chase him off. How does it make sense, I ask you, for Mister Boogers to see a strange cat and respond by attacking one of his brothers? A few months ago he saw the black and white cat through the window and attacked Tommy. He’s such a weird cat.
* * *
Meme, stolen from Bonkrood.

  • What is something that makes you ANGRY?
    See above about cats slurping on their asses ten inches from my face.

  • What is your favorite ALCOHOLIC drink?
    I don’t have one. I used to like strawberry dacquiris, but I think they have too much sugar in them for me to drink these days.

  • What is your BIRTHDATE?
    January 9th.

  • Do you have any BIRTHMARKS?
    I have a freckle on the palm of my hand and near the end of my nose (on the underside). Do those count?

  • What are you CAREER aspirations?
    I have none, though I’ve thought of taking an Excel and Word course and signing up with a temp agency. That plastic surgery’s not going to pay for itself, y’know.

  • Have you ever seen a CORPSE?
    Yes. My brother’s best friend when I was about 15, my great-aunt when I was 19 or 20, and Fred’s grandmother a few years ago.

  • What is your favorite DESSERT?
    Right now I can’t much eat dessert, though I’ll happily take a single bite of just about anything.

  • When its your time, how would you like to DIE?
    Either quietly in my sleep, or in a way that makes a lot of people do a double take. “She died… HOW?”

  • What is the highest level of EDUCATION you have completed?
    I’ve got about two years’ worth of college courses under my belt.

  • If you were an EVIL character, what would your name be?
    Bitchypoo!

  • Have you ever set FIRE to anything?
    Yeah, I used to like to set fire to pieces of paper and watch them burn. I had the makings of a pyro when I was a teen, but then I got over it.

  • What’s your best FLIRTY line?
    “Wanna do it?” Heh! Just kidding! I don’t have one.

  • What food turns you into a complete GLUTTON?
    Shrimp and lobster. ::drool::

  • What is the best GIFT you have ever gotten?
    Too many choices! I’ll skip this question.

  • What is your definition of HAPPINESS?
    To quote Denis Leary: Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That’s it, ok! You come, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, ok!? That is it! End of fucking list! “I’m just not happy.” Shut the fuck up, alright?

  • Who do you HATE more: Paris Hilton or Jessica Simpson?
    Paris Hilton annoys the shit out of me, but I’m not too terribly fond of Jessica Simpson, either.

  • Who do you think is the biggest village IDIOT?
    Too many choices!

  • State an INTERESTING fact about yourself.
    I can wiggle my ears.

  • What is the worst JOB you have ever had?
    I was a carhop at The Hi Hat III in Lisbon, Maine. My boss was a jackass. Hi, Dave Patterson! I’m talking about you!

  • What is your favorite piece of JEWELRY?
    My wedding band and engagement ring.

  • KARAOKE: love it or hate it?
    Like the concept, but I’ve never been and I can’t sing worth a shit.

  • How do you feel about having KIDS?
    Just the one will do me, thanks.

  • Who is the great LOVE of your life?
    Fred!

  • What would you like to LEARN how to do?
    Play a musical instrument, maybe. Not badly enough to get off my ass and do it, mind you, but I like to think about it.

  • What is your favorite childhood MEMORY?
    Playing on the beach in Guam.

  • If you had MINIONS, what would you order them to do first?
    Clean the house!

  • How many daily NAPS do you need?
    I rarely nap during the day, but yesterday I took a 10-minute nap and it was AWESOME.

  • Ever accidentally exposed your own or someone else’s NIPPLE?
    Uh. NO. How do you “accidentally” expose someone else’s nipple?

  • Do you think OUIJA boards are really controlled by the devil?
    No.

  • Describe something ODD about you.
    Everything about me is odd.

  • What are you really PICKY about?
    I don’t like having sticky hands. It drives me NUTS.

  • Have you ever been to PRISON?
    I actually applied for a job as a prison guard once. I didn’t make it past the interview portion, and I’m kinda glad. I would have been a horrible guard. “Whatcha doin’ with that plastic knife, Spike? Oh, sharpening it so you can clean your fingernails? Alrighty, then!”

  • Name something you can do really QUICKLY.
    Unload the dishwasher, ’cause I HATE IT so much.

  • Who do you QUARREL with the most?
    Fred, of course. Not really quarrel, but argue. We get over it quickly, though.

  • If someone held you for RANSOM, how much do you think you are worth?
    There ain’t enough money in the world, baby.

  • What is your current RELATIONSHIP status?
    Happily married and about to celebrate our 8th anniversary in October.

  • Which of the SEVEN deadly SINS most applies to you?
    Sloth!

  • Which would you rather not have in your home: a SPIDER or a SNAKE?
    I don’t think either would bother me, as long as neither was poisonous. I’m sure at any given time there are about 100 spiders in various places in the house. As long as they keep their webs neat and clean, I let the spiders stay.

  • What experience felt like complete TORTURE?
    The drive to Tigers for Tomorrow, because it took so LONG to get there.

  • What is the first THOUGHT you have waking up?
    “It’s 5:20 ALREADY?”

  • What is the color of the UNDERWEAR you are wearing right now?
    Pink.

  • What is your most UNFLATTERING feature?
    My flappy upper arms.

  • Who do you think is the best VILLAIN of all time?
    No one comes to mind.

  • What makes you feel VULNERABLE?
    Not having Fred and the spud in the house where I know they’re safe.

  • Which would you rather have: unlimited WEALTH or unlimited WISDOM?
    Unlimited wealth. I don’t think people with unlimited wisdom are all that happy.

  • If you could rule the WORLD, would you?
    Hell yes, and you would ALL dance to my tune. Dance, puppets, dance!

  • Who is your favorite X-MEN character?
    Wolverine, I guess. That’s Hugh Jackman, right?

  • Have you ever had an X-RAY?
    Yep. Several, in fact.

  • What do you YEARN for?
    Everyone I care for to be happy and well-adjusted.

  • Who do you think looks more like a YETI?
    I… do not know.

  • What is your ZODIAC sign?
    Capricorn.

  • What has been the ZENITH of your life?
    Getting my very first piece-o-shit computer and getting online. Well. Maybe the zenith is yet to come.

    • * * *
    Tommy and the Boog show off their pretty sides. Miz Poo comes to investigate. “Is that… fresh water?” ::slurp::slurp::slurp:: “Wonder if I could make it from here?” (He decided against even trying) All of today’s uploaded pictures are here.
    * * *
    Previously 2005: They’ll be fine, they’ll be fine, they’ll be fine, they’ll be fine… 2004: And I’m not even a George Michael fan. Though “Faith” rocks the casbah. 2003: No entry. 2002: Fred: “It’s dick in your mouth good!” 2001: No entry. 2000: You know, life would just be so much simpler if I were already queen of the world and in charge of punishments and such.]]>