Spoiler from last night’s 24; skip to the next section if you haven’t seen it, or aren’t interested.
Please. Please. PLEASE tell me that we’re not the only ones who noticed that when Martha Logan walked into the bathroom where the communications guy was peeing, he did NOT flush the toilet, and he did NOT wash his hands before he handed over the key card to the archive room, and THEN she PUT IT IN HER MOUTH as she was walking out.
I’m not germ-phobic or anything, but GAG ME.
To break it down: Hand on penis (probably splashed with urine), hand on key card (penis germs transferring from hand to key card instantaneously, as germs are wont to do), key card in the mouth of the First Lady.
::shudder:: ::twitch::
Fred says we’re just a couple of Monks.
* * *
Today’s earworm:
Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don’t care how you do it
Just save, save
Come on
I’ve been waiting for you
(Save Me, by Remy Zero. Also known as the theme song for Smallville. Which Fred has been watching almost constantly, which is why the theme song is bouncing around in my brain.)
* * *
So, I took a look to see what people have been searching on recently. The most popular searches:
Cat pee/ cat urine/ cat pee smell/ cat pee cleaner/ cat odor remover. I think you’re looking for the link to
Axi-Dent, which is the only thing I’ve ever used that immediately takes away the smell of cat pee. Cat pee, if you didn’t know, is the nastiest smell on the planet. Ugh. I think the guy who owns the company behind that web site is willing to make other suggestions if you’d rather try something else, too.
Book/ book I’m in/ written in a book. That would be
Tales from the Scale, edited by Erin Shea. Unless you’re looking for Fred’s book, and that would
From Chunk to Hunk. Which is also being put up online for free,
here.
Elliptical. It’s a
Life Fitness X9i elliptical. And I still like it – a LOT. Although in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t ::coughcough:: actually USED it all that often lately…
Nasty comment. I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never gotten a nasty comment in my LIFE. Ha! Maybe you were looking for
my response to the Einstein in Lakewood, NJ, who was telling me how it was? Or perhaps
Jackie in Vancouver, who suggested that if I didn’t lose weight, pronto, I’d have to worry about my daughter trying to “steal” Fred from me? Or, wait. How about
Sandra (down in the comments), who thought that my mentioning the fact that I was putting a book on my wish list meant that I was suggesting someone go buy it for me? I’m sure there are more, but those are the ones who came to mind. The funny thing is that I did a search on “twat” to find those entries, because Nance called Sandra and Jackie “twats”, and I remembered that, but not the specifics of what the two lame commenters had said. Heh. And the funnier thing is that someone DID go and buy that book off my wish list for me, just to spite Sandra.
If you have a question you’d like answered, ask in the comments. God knows I’ll answer almost anything!
* * *
Sunday morning I got out of bed to go to the bathroom – and because it was time to get up – and as I did my morning business, Sugarbutt wound around my feet, rubbing up against my legs and purring like mad. Since I figured he was in the mood for love, I crawled back in bed and called his name and patted on the bed, hoping he’d snuggle up against me and let me pet his soft, silky fur.
So I was laying on my side on the bed, calling for Sugarbutt, one hand patting the bed and the other hand just laying across the bed. Finally, he got curious about what was going on, and he jumped up on the bed and approached me. He let me scratch him behind the ears, and then he leaned down and sniffed my hand, the one that was laying on the bed.
And then he made a chirping noise, jumped several inches straight up in the air, and ran off like his ass was on fire.
Let me hasten to add that I had JUST washed my hands with pear-scented soap, so it’s not like he was smelling some nastiness or anything.
I laughed my ass off, then I started calling him and patting the bed and he jumped up on the bed again. Again, he allowed me to scratch behind his ears, sniffed my hand, jumped and chirped and ran off like his ass was afire. All told, he did the exact same thing five or six times, and Fred finally had to come upstairs to see what the hell had me cackling so hard.
I sure do love that Sugarbutt.
* * *
* * *
The two most fascinating bits of information I’ve learned so far this year:
1. On the dashboard of most cars, on or around the gas gauge, there’ s an arrow or a little gas pump that indicates which side of the car the gas tank is located on. I myself have a little gas pump
and an arrow:
This is strangely fascinating to me. I’ve probably seen that arrow and gas pump a thousand times, but never once did it occur to me to think to myself “Hmm. Wonder what that arrow stands for?”
(That piece of fascinating information was passed on to me by Fred, who read it on
Fark)
2. There’s so much nasty bacteria in your mouth that if you had an open wound on each of your arms and you licked one wound and rubbed the other in your ass (don’t give me that look; we all know you rub your wounded arms in your ass ALL THE TIME, you fucking freak), the one you licked has a much higher chance of getting infected.
(And THAT piece of fascinating information was read in
Kevin Smith’s blog.)
Just a little fascinating information, passed from me to you. Go forth and spread the fascination.
* * *
Sooooo… remember a while back when Fred painted the master bedroom a light yellow color, and I was all “Yeah, I think I like it. The more I look at it, the more I like it. I think.”
Well, in truth, the more time I spent in that room, the more I disliked the yellow. At certain times of day, in certain light, it was a lovely, soft yellow color and I liked it. But the rest of the time, it was just too damn yellow. It was distracting when I tried to read, and sometimes it seemed like it was just a horrid neon yellow.
So Fred repainted it this past weekend.
Before:
Now:
American Tradition 4006-3B, Palisade Blue.
Unlike the yellow, where I walked in and said. “Yeah… I think I might like it. Or not. Do I like it? I don’t know…”, I walked in when Fred was done painting, and I said “Yep, I love it!”
Still need a new comforter, though.
* * *
Yeah, okay, that’s really comfortable. It’s not like you’re putting my arm to sleep with your rapidly portlifying gut, Tommy.
That boy is just Not Right.
(All of today’s uploaded pictures are
here.)
* * *
Previously
2005: Stuff I Bought.
2004: No entry.
2003: Frequently asked questions.
2002: I love me some messing around with the camera.
2001: I was being subjected to porn without realizing it!
2000: Ben and me, we had sex in the back of a van.]]>
Okay. So. I’m off to the hospital!
Read more about it here.
Don’t expect any more entries this week. Fred will post an addendum to this entry at some point this afternoon to let y’all know I made it through surgery just fine.
And for those of you who feel the need to leave nasty comments – yeah, I know you’re out there – Fred will be on the comments like white on rice, and will be deleting any comments he feels are too negative so I’ll never see them.
Frustrating isn’t it?
The rest of you, have a good week, and I’ll see you soon!
Oh, and check out the ton of cat pictures I uploaded to Flickr yesterday.
