12/13/05

did like it. The unrelenting yellow seemed kind of overwhelming and for a while I thought Fred might be spending next weekend painting the master bedroom – for the record, I’d originally suggested that we go with a smoky blue rather than yellow, but Fred wanted to see how the yellow went – but this morning when I woke up and looked around the room in the natural light coming through the windows, I started to like it. After I took my shower and spent half an hour reading in the recliner in the corner of the room, I really liked it, so yellow it shall stay. I do fear, however, that Fred’s going to have to repaint that room when we’re ready to sell the house, because some people just loathe yellow. Of course, after he’s painted all these rooms, we very well might opt to stay here. I doubt it, though, because by GOD I will never live at the end of a cul de sac as long as I live. Not only does every kid in the neighborhood consider our tiny front yard their own, but every time we get a windy day, all the trash from everyone else’s yard blows into our front yard and I’m TIRED of picking up other peoples’ trash. ANYWAY. I got off the subject, actually, because what I wanted to address was the zucchini bread that Fred’s mother gave us. When snack time rolled around (“SNACK TIME? NO WONDER SHE’S SO FAT!”) I said “I think I’m going to eat one of these little loaves of zucchini bread (“NO WONDER”, etc.) for my snack.” and Fred said “Oh, that sounds like a good idea.” And then he walked into the kitchen and gasped. “What?” I said. “Sugarbutt’s eating the zucchini bread.” I walked in to see what he was talking about, and sure enough there was Sugarbutt on the kitchen counter, bellied up to one of the loaves of zucchini, eating like it had been placed there just for him. “Sugarbutt!” I scolded. “Bad boy!” I picked him up and put him down on the floor. I would say that almost a third of the loaf of bread was gone. “God, I guess SUGARbutt is a good name for him,” I said. Sugarbutt likes any kind of food, but he especially likes the sweet stuff. “I’m kind of impressed,” Fred said. Sugarbutt’s been trying to figure out how to get up on the kitchen counters ever since we’ve had him, and has always been thwarted by his short, stubby legs. I glanced down at Sugarbutt, who sat and looked up at me with the most hopeful look on his face, like he thought I might change my mind and offer him the entire loaf of bread. I didn’t, but what I did do is pick him up and kiss him right on the top of his fuzzy little head. It’s hard to resist a chunky little orange kitty. (Fred cut the slobbery part off the zucchini loaf and ate what was left, so all was not lost.)

* * *
The master bedroom, before (taken four years ago, from the house tours page). Different bed, different comforter:
And now:
I need to get a new comforter – the current one is pretty ratty – but I think I’m going to get a blue one. A yellow one would be way too much yellow, even for me.
* * *
Such a regal little face he has. Maximum catpacity has been exceeded. There is officially no room on the desk for The Momma’s arms. Just another example of how miserable our cats are. Poor, tortured kitties.
All of today’s uploaded pictures are hither.
* * *
Previously 2004: (I’m not that much of an asshole. But it sure is fun to imagine!) 2003: Yet another meme. 2002: But I’ll say this – if your kitten is suffering from anal leakage, y’all, TAKE IT TO THE VET. 2001: No entry. 2000: Sorry, but just as I began typing, I popped an Altoid in my mouth and it tasted like kitty litter. 1999: Martha Stewart would take one look at my tree and sob loudly, I’m sure.]]>

12/12/05

* * * When the spud was very small – probably around a year old – she loved to go into my parents’ bedroom, and press the button on top of their radio/ alarm clock. When she pressed the button, music would come on and she would get the funniest, most serious look on her face, freeze for a moment, and then begin shaking her butt back and forth in time to the music. It was hilarious, and I think I even got it on tape at some point. Back when Tubby died, a reader sent me a collage picture frame with pictures of Tubby in it, and “Meh!” written by some of the pictures. I immediately hung it up by my monitor, and it’s been there ever since.

Not only do I like having it there because it reminds me of Tubby, and it’s got some of Tubby’s best pictures in it, but I also like it because it’s a reflective surface, and I can use it to see if someone’s sneaking up on me (Fred used to sneak up on me from the kitchen and scare the holy hell out of me all the time, but now I can see him coming, and I remain unfrightened) or if someone’s in the kitchen making a lot of noise, I can glance in the reflection of the picture frame glass to see what’s going on. The other night the spud was cleaning the kitchen after dinner. As she usually does, she had the radio going and was singing along with it. I glanced at the picture frame to see what she was doing, and saw that she was wiping down the table. And as I watched, she was apparently very moved by the music, and she stopped for a moment, stared off into space with the most serious expression on her face, and then slowly began to dance to the music. Unlike when she was small, she moved her whole body this time, but she maintained her serious expression as she danced, and I thought for a moment of picking up the camera to make a movie of her dancing so I could show Fred, but you can’t capture every little moment on tape, sometimes you’ve just gotta enjoy the moment as it happens. She did a few moments of a dance move approximating the Cabbage Patch, then the song ended and walked off to finish her chores.
* * *
I spent – LITERALLY – all day Saturday in front of the computer reading this blog. (I would actually call it more of a journal, but I guess it’s time to just give it the hell up and accept that people call all personal-type web sites “blogs” now, and stop fighting the inevitable. Even though my site will always and forever be a “journal” to me, and not a “blog.” NOT A BLOG. But you can call it a blog, that’s okay, I’ll only flinch a little.) I love it when you find a blog and just can’t stop reading it – in a good way, I should add. I have no clue on earth how I discovered the site, maybe a link from another site?, but I’m glad I did. It made my Saturday pass in a very pleasant way.
* * *
The boy with the ‘tude. Miz Poo was sleeping in Fred’s desk chair, and Tom Cullen was absolutely fascinated by her. She was sound asleep, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off her. Maybe she was twitching in her sleep.
All of today’s uploaded pics can be seen here.
* * *
Previously 2004: Those two just make me shudder. And not in a good way. 2003: “Hey!” he thought to himself. “I think that might be the same bird and the same feeder!” 2002: “That’s okay, Bessie. I hate you sometimes, too,” he said. 2001: No entry. 2000: A blue spark leapt from my tender, sensitive pinky finger to the door of the Jeep in the Wal-Mart parking lot, and I all but screamed. 1999: But if I end up MIA, y’all know where to tell the cops to look…]]>

12/09/05

reading: Don’t Cry Now, by Joy Fielding. Finished last night: Otherwise Engaged, by Eileen Goudge. Not a bad book, but by the middle, you pretty much know exactly how it’s going to end.

* * *
I went to the dentist yesterday and not only did it NOT hurt, but my gums have improved enough so that I only have to go every four months instead of every three. It’s a miracle what following a regular brushing-and-flossing schedule will do for you, isn’t it? The Aleve I took before the appointment – I woke up with a shoulder hurting so badly it made me grunt and groan and moan and bitch ’cause it hurt so bad to turn over and get out of bed – may have helped stave off the usual pain from the poking. But she had to do a lot less scraping and gum-poking than she has in the past, so I’m going to say that the regular brushing and flossing had to help at least a little. And it only took me 30 years to figure out that Mom wasn’t just being a pain in the ass when she insisted that I brush and floss regularly.
* * *
There’s a scene in the movie A Time to Kill, a courtroom scene where lawyer Jake Tyler Brigance is questioning the witness Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney. Deputy Looney was caught in the crossfire when Brigance’s client, Carl Lee, shot and killed the two men who raped his 10 year-old daughter. At Carl Lee’s urging, Brigance asks Deputy Looney whether he thought Carl Lee intended to shoot Deputy Looney. Deputy Looney says that it was unintentional and he holds no ill will toward the man. Deputy Looney goes on to say “I mean, I don’t blame him for what he did. Those boys raped his little girl.” At this point, naturally, the D.A. objects. Brigance’s response to this objection is the sentence “Your Honor, I believe Deputy Looney has earned the right to speak here today.” It’s a good line, but it’s an utterly ridiculous legal argument, and yet the judge agrees with it and overrules the objection. It’s been 9 years since we first watched that movie, and ever since when we’re watching TV and someone is about to do or say something utterly ridiculous, Fred will yell out Brigance’s response to the objection, substituting the character’s name and what they’re about to do. Like such: “Your Honor, I think Deputy Julia has earned the right to remove the skin from that dead person!” And it always, always makes me laugh. In the movie Face/Off, Nicholas Cage has a line where he says “I want to take his face… off.”, and accompanying the line is a gesture where he holds his hand in front of his face and then, as he says “off”, he pulls his hand away from his face, to demonstrate the idea of taking someone’s face… off. So the other night as we were watching Nip/Tuck, a few minutes after Fred said “Your Honor, I think Deputy Julia has earned the right to remove the skin from that dead person!”, he was able to follow it up with “She took the skin… off!”, and we both performed the correct accompanying gesture. It’s the little things that amuse us, obviously.
* * *
Dear Mother Nature: A little sunshine? Please? For the love of god, this isn’t Seattle, I need some damn SUNSHINE to get me through my PMS. xo, Robyn
* * *
The small bed I have on the right side of my desk is getting to the point where it’s really too small for Tom Cullen and Sugarbutt to share. But if I put a big bed over there, they tend to slide off the side of my desk onto the floor. I think the solution is obvious. I need a bigger desk.
They sure do piss me off when I’m trying to print something and they go running over and bat at the paper coming out of the printer. It always ends up jamming, and I have to dig out the paper and restart the printing process. And I yell at them, but they just look up at me like “What, Mom? We’re not supposed to do that? No one told US!” You bet your ass there was some smackin’ going on when Miz Poo woke up and realized she was snuggling with That Damn Interloper. The too-small bed in question. They can’t really both fit unless one of them is lying partially on top of the other. And then they get hot and melt out of the bed.
All of today’s uploaded pictures (the ones above, and more) can be seen here. ]]>

12/08/05

the logo at the top. (This is what the previous one looked like) This was also created by the wonderful Gertie, who rocks.

* * *
We watched The Amazing Race last night, and my GOODNESS, what was UP with Phil’s pants? We were eagerly awaiting Phil on the golf course because a reader had emailed me and told me to keep an eye out, and we CERTAINLY got an eyeful. Someone either needs to break the news to Phil (“Phil, we see you’re a show-er rather than a grower and also that you dress to the right”) or he needs a wardrobe advisor or perhaps maybe they just need to shoot him from the waist up. Because that thing is VERY distracting, and not necessarily in a good way. Maybe Phil wears pants like that on purpose just to see what the internet will say. We also watched Nip/ Tuck last night, and lordy. That ending was worth the whole show! That’s all I’ll say about that.
* * *
I would say it’s definite that I’m currently in the throes of PMS. This morning I turned the TV on to VH-1 while I did my morning stuff (making the bed, putting in my contacts, getting dressed, all that good stuff) and before I knew it I was sobbing like a great big baby. Over an Eminem video. Someone kill me.
* * *
This would be the pile of Christmas presents sitting in the library, waiting patiently for me to cram them in boxes and send them off to various and sundry places around the country.
Not only have I not sent out boxes yet, I don’t even intend to do so until the Monday before Christmas. Because I just don’t feel like DEALING with it until then. And I’m sure once I start getting the boxes together, I’ll realize that I’ve forgotten to get something really important. On the up side, I’ve finally started on the Christmas cards. And why is it that I’ve got 150 fewer people who want Christmas cards this year than did last year? Why is that? Have y’all stopped loving me?
* * *
I had occasion to call Blue Cross again yesterday. I think I’ve called them three times since they implemented their voice recognition system, and I’m starting to get the hang of it. The most annoying thing is that the voice speaks sooooo slowwwwly, that I get all annoyed and want to tell the bitch to stop talking down to me. When I said “Customer Service” so I could get a live person on the phone, there was this very long pause, and I thought for a moment she was going to say “No, I don’t think so. You can deal with ME, and if you don’t like it, you can stick it.” But instead, she said “Okay, let me get someone on the line to help us.” “Us”? Who’s this “us” kemosabe? As far as I know, once the live Customer Service rep gets on the line, Voice Recognition Chick goes away. Maybe I’m wrong; maybe Voice Recognition Chick stays on the line, then tells the Customer Service everything he or she did wrong. I wonder if Voice Recognition Chick has ever made anyone cry?
* * *
I suppose I need to get my ass in gear and put the Christmas tree and decorations up, don’t I? I think I’ll do it this weekend, that way everything’ll be up for a good two weeks before I have to pack everything away again and leave for Maine. Don’t I sound like I’m totally in the Christmas spirit?
* * *
Sugarbutt is finding his voice, and his voice is a little squeak that he makes when something interests or confuses him. It sounds like someone’s walking around gently squeezing a little squeak toy. Now that I think about it, Sugarbutt and Tom Cullen are the quietest cats we have. Well, except for snack time when Tom Cullen howls his fool head off, that is. I need to remember to make a movie of that.
Tom Cullen makes the funniest faces, doesn’t he? Fred reading (does the blanket look familiar, Nance?), and Sugarbutt making himself at home. Sugarbutt, up close. Is that a happy cat, or what? “Bob! BOB! Damnit, BOB! Listen to me! Come in here! They’ve got the fire going, grab me a snort of catnip and let’s get cozy!”
(For the person who asked what the “Bob” thing was about, well, I started using the generic “Bob!” in kitty captions, and a couple of people took a liking to it, which means that now I must beat it into the ground because that’s just the kind of gal I am. You know those kids who say something funny and their parents laugh, so then they say it again immediately, like 100 times in a row, expecting a great big laugh every time? Yeah, that’s what my inner child is like.)
* * *
Previously 2004: I suppose I need to actually start buying lottery tickets to make these dreams come true. 2003: And also because you Canadians are so cool that I want to canoodle with each and every one of you. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: God bless the internet and online merchants, god bless their little black hearts. 1999: More Christmas talk.]]>

12/07/05

* * * This was an actual printer jam at John Deere Seeding ! “Come and fix the printer jam please ?” He’s not dead but he’s sure stuck. We did end up getting him out and letting him loose for those of you that are mouse lovers. You think you are having a bad day! (Thanks to reader Penny for the forward!)

* * *
My sister sent me some pictures of her cats. This is her new cat, Punki. Is she cute, or what? I can’t wait to meet her in person in a few weeks! Punki needs more toys, don’t you think? Tigger. Are all orange cats this happy, or are Sugarbutt, Tigger, and Spanky the exceptions?
* * *
Hey, remember Gizmo from two years ago? Well, my brother recently sent me some pictures of her. She was being a pain and wouldn’t look at the camera long enough for him to take a straight-on picture, but you can see enough to see how gorgeous she’s gotten. Doesn’t she look really, really soft?
* * *
Currently reading: Otherwise Engaged, by Eileen Goudge. Finished last night: Lost Boys, by Orson Scott Card. What a very, very strange book and a very strange ending. I didn’t hate the ending, but it took me way too long to understand what the hell was going on – someone else might have caught on right away – but I did cry like the big baby I am at the end. I’d recommend it, but I’ll say that it’s not what you’d expect it to be from reading the back. I’ve never read Orson Scott Card before – are all his books that strange?
* * *
* * *
Previously 2004: (I never claimed not to be a dumbass) 2003: I would be ever so grateful if you would restrain yourself. 2002: No entry. 2001: I knew y’all were a hip and happenin’ bunch of readers! 2000: Stuff I’ve bought. 1999: And it tasted excellent, of course, which made the eggfart stenchiness more than worth it.]]>

12/06/05

Axi-Dent. I swear that I’ve been meaning to start up a “recommended” page with a link in the sidebar so y’all would always know where to find the name of the stuff, but I just haven’t gotten around to it yet. I will, though. One of these days!

* * *
When Fred was at Lowe’s the other day, he saw a cinnamon broom and thought it smelled so good that he should buy it. So he did, and I looked at when I got up, and I said “What are we supposed to do with this?”, and he said “I thought maybe we could hang it on the wall?” and I said “It’s pine pressed with cinnamon oil. You don’t think cinnamon oil would stain the wall?” and he said “What if we just leaned it in the corner?”, and then he looked at the back of the broom and noticed that there was a hook for hanging, and after a few more moments of brainstorming, we pulled a magnet off the refrigerator and hung the cinnamon broom on the back of the door leading to the garage. And now the entire downstairs smells of cinnamon, and between the cinnamon broom in the kitchen/ living room area, and the Yankee Candle air freshener spewing out lemon scent in the hallway leading to the stairs, if you walked into our house you would keel over dead, either from allergies or from the sheer yumminess of smelling our house. Actually, that’s a lie. The cinnamon broom got so overwhelming last night that I had to toss it, because my throat was burning. It smelled good in the house for a little while, though.
* * *
You know, if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie seriously wanted people to believe there was nothing going on between them before he divorced Jennifer Aniston, it might behoove Brad to not immediately attempt to adopt Angelina’s children like a month after the Pitt-Aniston divorce was made final. And further, these lightning-quick Hollywood romances are just seriously fucked up. I mean, Angelina doesn’t have the longest-lasting romantic track record; does it occur to her that maybe she should wait, like, a year or so before making Brad her baby daddy? When and if – and I mostly mean “when” – these two break up, I hope there’s a lot of interesting drama. Maybe they could stand in the street and she could pull on Maddox’s feet and Brad could pull on Maddox’s head, and they could swear at each other at the top of their lungs and yell “Mine! Mine! Mine!” while the paparazzi snap pictures and Maddox cries. Just kidding. I wouldn’t wish that on poor little Maddox, even if his hair does annoy me.
* * *
Pet store kitty pics from yesterday are here.
* * *
Currently reading: Lost Boys, by Orson Scott Card. I’m about halfway through, and may I just say, it’s taking an awful long fucking time to get some action going on. I’m enjoying it, though. Finished last night: Gods in Alabama, by Joshilyn Jackson. Oh, how I love books about crazy southern families, I just do – no one can do crazy families like the southerners can. I loved this book. LOVED IT. I hate it when I discover a first-time author, because then I have to sit around and twiddle my thumbs while they write their next book. At least when I discover an author who’s had a few books out, I can read their previous books while I’m waiting for the next one. The new Sue Grafton will be out tomorrow. ABOUT FUCKING TIME, I say.
* * *
Price of gas, yesterday. Now I feel like a dumbass for swearing to the spud that I didn’t think gas would ever go under $2 a gallon again. I’m NOT complaining, I’m just surprised.
* * *
How can you resist the lure of the the little pink toes? Tom Cullen’s still protesting the Survivor stupidity. I think he’s serious about this…
All of today’s uploaded pictures are here. ]]>

12/5/05

house tour page; the picture was taken about 4 years ago):

After:
I like it, I think it looks really cozy in there with the walls that color. Fred was planning to paint the master bedroom this weekend, too – he went and got the paint Saturday night – but when he woke up Sunday morning his shoulder was hurting, so he decided to take the day off. It’s probably for the best – at least if he waits until next weekend, I’ll have most of this week to pull all the books off my bookcase and put them in a box so we can pull the bookcase away from the wall. Speaking of hurting shoulders, I woke up with my left shoulder and the left side of my neck very stiff and painful Saturday morning. I don’t know if I slept on it wrong or what, but it hurt all day Saturday (no, I didn’t take anything for the pain. Then I couldn’t bitch about the pain. DUH!) and then Sunday morning when I woke up, my right shoulder was hurting as well. So I finally took some Aleve, and the pain mostly went away. Now my ankle kinda hurts.
* * *
Fred went out to buy a new DVD player, because the one we bought back in March – which we returned less than a week after we bought it for a replacement, and then had to send to the manufacturer to be repaired a month later – has finally got on our last nerve. For the record, it’s a JVC VCR / DVD recorder combo (model DR-MV1), and it is a piece of CRAP. Not only did the VCR side of the machine never work, but in the last month or so every time we used the DVD side of the machine, it skipped and broke the image into artifacts when playing brand new discs (ie, out-of-the-box movies, not scratched rentals), and the motor that spins the disc made a loud grinding / rubbing noise when the machine is on, to the point of being distracting on the rare occasions we could actually see the picture. (Part of that paragraph above was stolen from Fred’s letter to JVC, by the way.) Friday we started watching March of the Penguins, and the picture started breaking up and skipping, and finally Fred went out into the garage and got the DVD player out there – the very first DVD player we ever bought, 5 or 6 years ago – and we watched the movie on that. That DVD player – a Sony – is probably the best investment we ever made. It never gives us a bit of trouble, and although the picture isn’t as clear as it is on newer DVD players, it never even thinks of skipping or breaking up the picture. Anyway, on Sunday Fred went out to look for a new DVD player – I told him that, if possible, I’d like to have a DVD player/ recorder, and he ended up coming home with an Emerson DVD player/ recorder/ VCR. So far it’s working just fine and I’m hoping that it continues to do so, because I’d really like to transfer all my home movies from VHS to DVD. Only time will tell if it’ll continue to work – but so far it’s working better than the JVC machine ever thought of working.
* * *
Currently reading: Gods in Alabama, by Joshilyn Jackson. Recently finished: Talk to the Hand, by Lynne Truss. I’m sorry to say, this book bored the ever-loving shit out of me and I ended up skimming most of it. Oh well, I guess ya can’t love ’em all.
* * *
Sugarbutt is a bad boyfriend. During the day, he’s all “No! Put me down! I don’t WANT you to kiss me! People might SEE!”, and yet at 3:30 am EVERY FRICKIN’ MORNING, he’s all “Come here, my darling, and let me frantically lick your neck. Let me lay upon your head and purr so loud I vibrate your brain right out of your head, I LOVE YOU AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS! NO, you cannot go back to sleep, you cannot sleep when I am FILLED with the love for you, and I must express it!” He’s kind of like Pepe Le Peu at night, now that I think about it.
Sugarbutt doesn’t care if the older cats WANT to snuggle or not. If he sees enough room, he’s in there like a shot. Usually the older cats put up with it for a little while, and then stomp off in a huff. Which is probably part of his evil plan. Talk about taking your life in your hands.
]]>

12/2/05

reading: Broken Prey, by John Sandford. Finished the other night: The Other Woman, by Jane Green. Not a bad book, though it seemed kind of rushed at times, like she wanted to get to the end of the book, and for a 400 page book, that’s a lot of rushing. I was also pretty annoyed with the main character sometimes, ’cause she was so eager to take offense at every little thing her mother-in-law said that I felt sorry for the mother-in-law. And I needed to take a moment and give thanks that I have unintrusive, nice, very sweet mothers-in-law. I hit the jackpot in the mother-in-law lottery; not only are my current mothers-in-law nice, but my ex’s mother was a sweetheart as well. Maybe that’s why I always love to read evil mother-in-law stories, because I don’t have any of my own.

* * *
I spent a couple of hours running errands and shopping yesterday, and I’m inching ever closer to being done with my Christmas shopping. I was in Target for a good hour, just wandering around looking at stuff. From there, I went to the pet store and bought Christmas presents for the pets I am related to. Since we found 63,000 toys under the furniture in the library/ dining room when Fred was painting in there, I had to promise not to get them any more toys, so I didn’t. I did, however, get them a Drinkwell water fountain, and I’m going to put a bow on that and put it under the tree (Fred said “You’re not going to wrap it? But they’ll know what it is!” Hee!) and I’ll set it up for them on Christmas day. I also think I got dissed as a crazy cat lady by the cashier. She was ringing up the myriad cat toys (and dog bones) I was buying, and said “I bet you don’t have kids!” Meaning, I guess, that I can’t have a lot of pets AND a family, I’ve gotta have one or the other. Ha on her! I DO have a kid! AND a husband! AND 6,000 cats! Look at me, I’ve got it ALLLLLLLLL! Then I had to go to Sam’s since Fred requested I go and see what the price would be for a bag of almonds (answer: a little less than $14 for a 3-pound bag), and while I was there I picked up water and toothbrushes and a few other things we’re close to running out of. And did you feel the earth crack open? I actually spent LESS THAN $100, and I don’t believe that’s ever happened in the history of me. Then I went home, forgetting that I’d intended to stop at Kohl’s to get pillows for the couches (our old ones didn’t really go with the new couches), only I was lucky because Fred needed to visit Kohl’s for personal items (UNDERWEAR) and he picked up the pillows since he’s so good at choosing colors. And then I sat on my ass in front of the computer until 7:00, only stopping long enough to roast a bunch of asparagus to eat with my dinner of sushi rolls, and it was a DAMN FINE dinner. I really love that asparagus, except for the stinky-pee factor. Would you believe that my sister used to buy canned asparagus and eat it and she LOVED IT, and I was so grossed out – because, let’s face it, it’s kind of a gross-looking vegetable, especially the canned stuff – that I wouldn’t even dream of touching it, and I’d get all obnoxious and gaggy when she’d sit and eat asparagus. It wasn’t until Fred and I were starting to eat right that I gave them a try and decided I like them a lot. Except, like I said, for the the stinky pee factor. (FYI, why your pee smells when you eat asparagus: Asparagus contains a sulfur compound called mercaptan (also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs, and the secretion of skunks). The breaking-down of this substance in your digestive system causes the smell. Not everyone has the gene for the enzyme that breaks down mercaptan, so some people – lucky bastards – don’t get the stinky pee.)
* * *
The Happiest! Kitty! In the world! Tom Cullen was so disgusted that those idiots on Survivor are letting Princess Stephenie run the show that he made himself a nest under the couch pillows and refuses to come out. He said, “That fucking bitch gets everything she fucking wants and all those idiots just kowtow to her and I AM SICK OF IT.”, then groomed himself for a while to calm down. Grooming = kitty xanax. “Talk to the paw, Survivor idiots.” (Note that Miz Poo matches the couch quite nicely)
* * *
Previously 2004: The internet just ROCKS, doesn’t it? 2003: Her date (”But not a DATE date!”) was more dressed-up than she. 2002: I did mention that I have airhead tendencies, did I not? 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry. 1999: On the drive home, she uttered such supportive statements such “Well, everyone saw this coming” and “I don’t know why you’re surprised.” ]]>

12/1/05

over here. You can click on the “preview calendar” link to see what pictures are in the calendar. There’s a link to that page over there in the sidebar down toward the bottom, and I’ll leave that up ’til Christmas, or basically whenever the hell I get around to taking it down. Every calendar you buy, $3 goes to the no-kill kitty shelter I volunteer for. Also, if you’d like, I’ll quietly whisper your name to the cat of your choice so that they think happy kitty thoughts in your direction. I’ll have an And3rson Kitties 2006 Calendar up by Monday, and I’m toying with a Sugarbutt & Tom Cullen Calendar, too. Lulu.com’s going to rue the day they ever made it so damn easy to create calendars.

* * *
New month, new logo! This one (and two others, which will debut later this month) was created by the lovely and talented Gertie. Thanks, Gertie!
* * *
Calling Gertie “lovely and talented” up there (which she is!) reminds me for some reason of Dr. Phil. Every time Dr. Phil has a female guest on and he’s trying to boost their ego, he always ALWAYS throws “vivacious” in the list of attributes. For some reason, that always cracks me up and I’ve gotten to the point where if he starts talking about how wonderful a female guest is, I’ll yell out “Vivacious! Tell her she’s VIVACIOUS, Dr. Phil!”
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So, I think I’m going to take the Couch Potato blog down, because I just don’t feel like posting in it and every time I think about posting in it and don’t, I feel guilty. And believe you me, sister, I get plenty of guilt in my life, I don’t need a damn blog guilting me when I’m minding my own business. Goddamn uppity blogs.
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The Christmas shopping is, I would say, 3/5 of the way done. I’m waiting on a ton of stuff from Amazon, a gift card for Fred’s mother, and need to pick up a few things at Target and another store That Will Not Be Named (oh, all RIGHT – the pet store. I think my family knows by now that I always send small gifts for their pets. Probably they’ve caught on after five years, ya think?), and I have to do some wrapping and packing and mailing, but for the most part it’s practically all done. The Christmas cards, however, haven’t even been started. It’s like a universal rule that if I have my shit together in one part of my life, I slack elsewhere. At least I was organized enough last year to buy Christmas cards on sale for this year. Is that impressive, or what?
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I went to McDonald’s last Friday for an Egg McMuffin (“OH MY GOD! NO WONDER SHE’S SO FAT!”) and a large Diet Coke, and when I pulled up to the window where they hand you your order, the woman working there recognized me (after a few years of going through the drive-up several times a week for the NECTAH OF THE GODS fountain Diet Coke, you start to get recognized (and shaddup, you Diet Coke haters, coffee tastes like boiled ass – no, make that BITTER boiled ass, and it doesn’t matter if it’s the “good” coffee, I’ve listened to Fred lie to me about how “smooth this coffee is, it’s not bitter at all, TRY IT!”, and it’s still nasty, nasty shit, which saddens me ’cause you coffee drinkers always make it sound so good, and I WANT to like it, much in the way I want to like wine and champagne (I’ve tried the $200-a-bottle stuff, and it still makes me gag, so perhaps the problem is that I have pedestrian tastes?), but I cannot) and she said “Hi! How are you?” I responded with a very perky “Great! How are you?”, because I was Brung Up Right, and when I said that, the order-giver-lady stepped back so that I could see into her little cubby, and she gestured toward the soda machine where her co-worker (we called ’em the Runners when I worked at McDonald’s because they Runned for the Orders, but god knows what the kids are calling them these days) (I’m feeling very parenthetical today, can you tell?) was filling up a cup… from a 2-liter bottle. Apparently their soda machine was on the fritz, and a manager’s solution to the problem was to go out and get a bunch of 2-liter bottles until it was fixed. In other words, I thought I was paying $1.51 for a fountain Diet Coke, and I was actually paying $1.51 for a cup of 2-Liter Diet Coke, and I wasn’t pleased because you can get a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke for $1.09. I didn’t WANT 2-Liter soda, I wanted the special crack-cocaine Diet Coke, damnit. Stymied again.
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Kitten questions: 1) Why do we only see the kittens and Miz Poo partaking of the wet food snack? ‘Cause they’re the only ones who are interested. Spanky and Spot couldn’t be less interested, and Mister Boogers will join in every once in a while, but for the most part it’s just the kittens and Miz Poo who dance around like they’re starving to death at 7:00 every night. 2) Is the Boog partial to grooming sugarbutt? I haven’t seen any pics of him cleaning Tom, Tom Cullen. The Boog will groom whoever he can get his tongue on. Tom Cullen won’t put up for it for long, but Sugarbutt will just lay there and be groomed for a looooooong time. I actually think that Mister Boogers would like to groom Miz Poo, but she hisses and smacks if he gets within a foot of her, because she’s mean and evil.
The blissful look on his little face cracks me UP. He looks like he’s smiling. And maybe a little bit high. I think you know he’ll kick your ass.
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