Month: January 2005

This is actually a bank to put your change in, but I’m not sure how much change would actually fit in it. $1.50 at Reny’s! The head lifts off this guy; the expression on his face cracked me up. This was $1.50, too! This one made me laugh, too. Also $1.50! Does the cat look familiar? It should, a reader sent me the cat a few months ago. When I walked into Reny’s and saw this lamp (it’s not really a lamp, it’s one of those things you put a tea light in the top of) I had to buy it. Five dollars! We also hit this great store in Auburn called Marden’s. If you live in Maine, no doubt you’ve heard the “I shoulda bought it when I saw it… at Marden’s!” jingle. I hadn’t been to Marden’s in years and years, but it’s pretty much the same. My mother bought the spud two denim skirts, for FIVE DOLLARS EACH. They’re nice skirts, too. Anything you could possibly want is at Marden’s. There were a ton of books marked down to amazing prices (I didn’t get any, though, because I didn’t see any I wanted). Joe Kita’s book Another Shot? They had probably 50 copies – hardcover – for something like 23 cents each. I would have bought a bunch to give away, but I didn’t want to be hauling a thousand books home. I had limited space in my suitcase, you know. If you’re new to the area and looking to outfit your kitchen, you can’t beat Marden’s.

This is all I bought at Marden’s, though. $6.99! And look, that’s Meredith from The Bachelorette! Yeah, I’m sure there’s nothing this software can do that Paint Shop Pro can’t, but I’m an impulse buyer, and I couldn’t stop myself. We went to The Christmas Tree Shop in Portland – yet another discount store with a ton of bargains. I looked at a lot of lotion, but wisely refrained from buying any, because I have a ton at home that I have yet to use. In the end, I only bought one thing from The Christmas Tree Shop, but it was awfully cute. It’s unbearably adorable – and only $4! – but when I brought it home and put cat food in one side and water in the other, it quickly became clear that it wasn’t going to work out as cat food dishes. They’re just not big enough. I need to find another use for them, because like I said, very cute. Also, yellow! Far and away my favorite store in Maine is a Hallmark store, strangely enough. It’s the Hallmark at Cook’s Corner, right next to the Bath & Body Works, if you’re interested. Every time I visit the store, I buy stuff I love, and end up wanting to go back. We have an egg cat collection – I’ve mentioned it before – with a different egg cat to represent each cat. That is, we have a black and white egg cat to represent Spot and Tubby, a black one to represent Mr. Fancypants, a Torti to represent Miz Poo, and so on. We didn’t have a gray one, so I bought the one above to represent Mister Boogers. And then I had to get this one, too, because Mister Boogers is more of a Blue Russian gray than a regular gray. Then I had to get this one to represent Miz Poo, because I didn’t think we had one for her. When I got home, I realized that we did. Oops! And then I lost my mind and started branching out into the non-cat eggs. A squirrel to represent the little bastard who teases our cats. A crab, because it was cute and they didn’t have any lobsters. They also had eggs carved out into birds and I really wanted a cardinal, but the only cardinal they had was one of the big ones, and I wanted a small one. Ah well, maybe next time. Also, they had a lot of candles on sale. Vanilla Caramel? Heavenly. And the votives were half off. Votives for 80 cents? Gimme some of that! I bought every last Vanilla Caramel votive they had – something like 10 or 11, I think. Awesome, awesome. I bought a ton of cross-stitch ornament kits that I will cross-stitch through the year and give away next Christmas. These were on sale at JoAnn Fabrics for something like 30 cents each. I also got a bunch of ornament kits from my awesome sister for Christmas! We went to the Village Candles store in Topsham and all their Christmas stuff was marked way down. I don’t really need all that much Christmas stuff, but five dollars for this Santa! I couldn’t resist. Similar to the other Santa… yet different! That one’s holding a tree, this one’s holding a present. For the record, I don’t collect Santa stuff (my mother does), but when I see a cute Santa or snowman, I’ve gotta have it. My mother gave me this Cookie Jar. Not that I make many cookies, even around Christmas, but it’s awfully cute, no? Also, miniature snowmen salt & pepper shakers for my salt & pepper collection. Adorable, no? When we were in Hawaii this past summer, the day that the spud and I were leaving, we accompanied my sister to this small store where they were selling suitcases. She got a great suitcase for something like $40, and not long after that, the spud and I left for the airport. All the way to the airport, I kept saying to my mother “Oh, I should have gotten one of those suitcases, too! I love that suitcase she got! If I could do it over again, I’d get the same suitcase, only in gold. Man, am I kicking myself!” Well, I didn’t intend for her to do this, but my mother immediately went back to the store and bought the suitcase for me, and also got a smaller one – in blue – for the spud to give us for Christmas. I absolutely love it! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~]]>

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Remember back in December when I was like “Hey, here are pictures of the Christmas cards I got this year!” and ten thousand of you were all “Hey, I don’t see mine!”? Well, that would probably be because when I got back from Maine I checked the PO Box and found that there were 40 cards waiting for me. And some of the cards were sent out as early as December 10th, which means they took more than two weeks to get from somewhere in the US to me. I guess Christmas cards aren’t really a priority for the US mail system, eh? Anyway, I took pictures of them all, and you can see them here, here, and here. The first and second picture are particularly blurry, sorry about that. I’ll leave those pictures up ’til the end of the month, then I’m going to delete them in the interest of saving space. I said it before, but I’ll say it again: Thanks, you guys, for all the wonderful cards you sent. I enjoyed getting them, opening them, and reading them. I loved seeing pictures of you and your families and (of course!) your cats and dogs. Shopping for cards, addressing them, and sending them out is what I enjoy most about the holiday season.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I got a box o’ love from Nance last night, and it absolutely cracked me up. I won’t show pictures of every single thing she gave me, but I do have to hit the highlights. If this isn’t something that looks like it’ll come to life and kill you in your sleep, I don’t know what is. Those are some creepy, CREEPY eyes. This is a great big ceramic shell candy dish. You know, I was just saying to Fred the other day “What the hell? We have NOTHING to put our candy in!”, and voila! Now we do. She included some candy for the candy dish, because she is Nance and she rocks. I don’t know what cracks me up more – the big grin, or the fact that the cat is holding something that is either a toothbrush, or a nailbrush. He’s happy about it, whatever it is! That picture was done by the Painter of Light himself, Thomas Kinkade! It’s not just a calendar, no. It’s also an address book AND there’s a notepad in the back. Does it get any handier than that? I think not. This means I can get rid of the separate address book, calendar, and notebook that are currently taking up way too much room in my purse, because I have an all-in-one! A Gary Patterson calendar – the full-sized one! Yes, I have a Gary Patterson calendar on the fridge, but that’s a small, magnetic one. The pictures in this one are completely different from the other one. Miz Poo, however, does not approve. Thanks, Nance. You rock! Also rocking is Jane, who sent me presents, too. Somehow she knew that I’d just tossed my old hummingbird feeder because it was gross and beyond cleaning. Who doesn’t need cat butt gum? And for the record, it supposedly tastes like peppermint, but Fred suggested that maybe it REALLY tastes like cat butt, and I’m really too scared to give it a try in case it does. Cracks me up, though. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I’ve seen this meme everywhere, and even though we’re well into 2005, I wanted to do it anyway. I edited it, though, so I only have to answer the questions I want to. Heh. What did you do in 2004 that you’d never done before? Flew 12 hours to Hawaii. Oh, the hell. I never want to spend that much time on an airplane ever again. Did you keep your new year�s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don’t think I made any for 2004. Uh, nope. I did a search and nothing came up for 2004. My only resolution for 2005 is not to buy any books, and concentrate on reading the ones I had. I just got money for my birthday, though, so I may have to make an exception to the resolution. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my brother’s girlfriend is due in April, and finding out about that knocked us all for a loop. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother; I miss her far more than I expected to. Also, it’s been almost a year since Tubby died. What countries did you visit? Nowhere outside the US, unless you consider Hawaii a different country. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? I didn’t lack a thing in 2004. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 3rd, the day my grandmother died. January 28th, the day Tubby died. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finally coming to a decision and starting to follow through on it (she said cryptically). What was your biggest failure? Waiting so long to make said decision. But sometimes it takes time to wrap your head around what’s really right for you. What was the best thing you bought? The Dyson! I am still madly in love with it. Where did most of your money go? To savings (we’ve got a kid going to college in a few years, you know!), and to books. We do lurve the books. Oh, and we bought a couple of computers, too. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Seinfeld coming out on DVD! Shut up, I like Seinfeld. I just hope the rest of the seasons come out on DVD, too. What song will always remind you of 2004? American Idiot, by Green Day. Fred “discovered” it, and I was reminded anew how much I really like Green Day’s music. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? About the same. b) thinner or fatter? About the same! c) richer or poorer? Richer. What do you wish you’d done more of? Exercising, reading, writing, organizing. What do you wish you’d done less of? Letting the assholes get to me. How will you be spending Christmas? We spent Christmas day pretty quietly – Fred went for a hike, I made mandarin muffins, the spud and I ate muffins, and then we pretty much just puttered around the house for the rest of the day. Did you fall in love in 2004? I fell in love a thousand times over with the cats at the pet store. How many one-night stands? Oh, please. What was your favorite TV program? Survivor, Desperate Housewives, Amazing Race, Lost. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No, it’s a waste of time. And it gives the person you’re hating control over your life. What was the best book you read? The Tie that Binds, and Where You Once Belonged, by Kent Haruf. Every word that man writes is a gem. Also, The Dark Tower, by Stephen King. What was your greatest musical discovery? The Warren Brothers! What did you want and get? The Dyson. What did you want and not get? I wanted a new car, but ended up suggesting that we get Fred a new car in 2004 and wait a year to get me a new car. Making that suggestion, despite how very badly I wanted a new car, made me feel like I might finally be a grown-up. What was your favorite film of this year? Cold Mountain. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 36, and Fred picked up takeout from our favorite chinese restaurant, and we had cake. I like the low-key birthdays, you know? How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? “Comfy”. If it’s not comfy, why wear it? What kept you sane? Fred, the spud, the kitties (of course, they threatened my sanity as often as they saved it, too!) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004. Never say never. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ He’s such a serious-looking little thing. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~]]>

Elizabeth Murray’s page and looked at her pictures, but didn’t see that particular one. I looked at art.com and that picture didn’t come up under her name, though Fifi in Monet’s Garden did. So to make a long story short, I have no idea who the artist is. I can tell you where to get the picture, though. Fred bought the picture for me from Paragon Gifts; every time I get their catalog, I’ve been drooling over that picture. You can get it already framed, here. You can get it with just the mat at allposters, here. And Portal Cards has varying sizes – go here, click on “search” (at the top) and search on “Cat in garden”. As for the other pictures, you can find the cat in the tub at Portal Cards also (just search on “Tub Cat”) and the wet cat, too (search on, surprisingly enough, “Wet Cat”). Allposters also has Tub Cat and Wet Cat. Who loves their readers more than me? That’s right, NO ONE.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ So I slept in this morning because I didn’t have any appointments or errands to run. I rolled out of bed around 8:30, did a little laundry, and got dressed to work out. I wandered downstairs, sat in front of my computer for a little while, and was just about to stand up and go exercise when the tornado sirens started going off. I glanced out the back window to see a very dark sky, and turned on the television set to see if I was about to die. The really bad weather was apparently going into towns nearby, but wasn’t headed directly for Madison, so I left the TV going while I got some journal reading done. After a while, when the dark sky seemed to have pretty much gone away, I decided to get my butt in gear and get the 30 minutes on the elliptical out of the way. As I stood up to turn the TV off, the weather guy said “We just got an email from someone who wants us to put Regis & Kelly back on the air!”, then went into a long (and defensive) explanation about how they’re trying to help, that if a tornado was coming toward the email writer, he’d certainly want to know about it. It made me laugh, because how many times have Fred and I bitched and whined about the fact that the local weather guys have cut in on one of our shows (almost always Survivor) to tell us about the bad weather and then staying on for a good half hour, thus messing up the show for us? About a million times, that’s how many! I had this vision of a cranky old guy sitting in front of his TV yelling “Shut the fuck up! I don’t care, there’s no tornadic activity headed toward me! Put Regis and Kelly back on! Mary, where’s the WebTV controller? I’m going to email that weather-spouting bastard!” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ While I’m on the elliptical, I like to watch movies – I know I’ve mentioned that before – and yesterday I finished watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’d never seen it before, and after I read Mo’s review of it, I added it to my Netflix queue. I enjoyed the movie, and most importantly it took my mind off what I was doing, and that’s the kind of movie you want to be watching while you’re on your brand-spanking-new ass-kicking elliptical trainer, believe you me. (More about the elliptical in a minute) Anyway, I enjoyed the movie because Audrey Hepburn is just mesmerizing and has the most beautiful eyes. George Peppard was a hottie in his day (he was pretty good-looking in his later years, too, for that matter), but Andy Mickey Rooney’s character just made me cringe. Because, ugh. Now, when I read Mo’s review and read the bit about the cat, I was all “Oh, silly Mo. It’s just a movie! You can’t get that upset about a movie!”, but you know what? When Holly opened the cab door and pushed that cat into the FUCKING RAIN and the cab drove off with that POOR FUCKING CAT sitting there in the rain looking confused, I really wanted to haul off and smack Holly really really hard. That poor fucking cat! One minute he’s cozy and dry and the next he’s shoved out into the cold rain because Holly has to make her point. Poor Cat! I have to say that that was one mighty well-trained cat, though. If I ever wanted any of my cats to sit calmly in the rain, I’m sure they’d suggest that I go straight to hell. Anyway, it was a good movie; I recommend it. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ So remember how, back in December, I went on an exercise strike because the elliptical was squeaking and I couldn’t stand it? Well, we now have a new elliptical. It’s a LifeFitness X9i, and compared to what we had before (a NordicTrack something-or-other) it’s incredible. Going from the NordicTrack to the LifeFitness was like going from a broken-down secondhand rusted-out car (you know, the kind you have to add half a quart of oil to before you go anywhere) to a brand-new Cadillac. (I’d assume, anyway – I’ve never driven a Cadillac.) This machine is NICE. It’s quiet, it’s sturdy, it has a ton of programs, or you can create your OWN program. The stride is comfortable, there’s plenty of places to put your water and the TV remote, and it has TWENTY intensity levels. And it kicks my ass. I’m sure that part of that is because I took time off from exercising, but probably part of it is because it’s a better machine than the one we had. At this point it’s only been a week since I started back exercising and I’m only doing a simple program where I stay at the same resistance through the entire workout, but I’ve improved some in that today was the first time I didn’t need to stop and rest my legs halfway through the workout. I think I’m going to give it a few more days before I actually do one of the interval programs. So anyway, two thumbs up to the elliptical trainer. It’s quiet, I have no trouble watching the TV (or hearing it), and it’s sturdy as hell. It was expensive, but at this point I think it was definitely worth it. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Is it just me, or is Mister Boogers not really into smacking at that toy? It’s like he’s humoring Fred. “Yeah, okay, Dad. I’ll smack at the toy. WhatEVer.” ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~]]>

(Pardon the crappy pictures) Anyway, I found frames for all three pictures – black frames, in case you’re wondering – and ended up buying a few other things because of COURSE I can’t go into Target and buy just what I went in for. I left Target and went to Sam’s, where I stocked up on water, gum, toothbrushes, shaving gel. You know, the usual exciting stuff. Fred had asked me to look at Sam’s and see if they carry big containers of the beef jerky I got at Wal-Mart the other day. Kate got me started on it while I was in Maine, and I got Fred started on it – he likes it even more than I do, if that’s possible. Sam’s had all kinds of beef jerky, but none of them were beef nuggets of course, so when I left Sam’s I decided to head up the street to Wal-Mart and see if I could get more packages there. I hate Wal-Mart. Target has spoiled me, because now when I walk into Wal-Mart and see pallets of stuff laying everywhere it just annoys me. This Wal-Mart is right down the street from Target, and whereas Target was slightly busy this morning, Wal-Mart was wall-to-wall packed with people. I walked along the checkout lanes looking for the desired beef jerky, in original flavor, but could find only one pack. I was getting more and more annoyed because there were thousands and thousands of packets of the teriyaki flavored nuggets, but the original flavor was nowhere to be seen. Finally I decided to make one last check of the lanes, and when I approached lane 15, I hit the mother lode. There was an entire box of the original flavor, and I grabbed as many bags as I could hold. I stood in line behind people who were moving as slow as molasses (YES, GODDAMNIT! I HAVE CONFIRMED THAT YOU CAN, IN FACT, BEGIN WRITING THE FUCKING CHECK BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY HEAR WHAT THE TOTAL IS, YOU IN-MY-WAY MOTHERFUCKER!) and a cashier who was moving even slower. Due to the fact that I hadn’t eaten breakfast I was far more impatient and ready to snap than I usually am and I just wanted to push everyone right the hell out of my way and throw money at the cashier and run out, clutching my beef jerky to my chest, but I refrained because I hate those impatient-acting, sighing, tapping, muttering assholes. Even if, secretly, I AM one of those assholes, it wasn’t necessary to prove it to everyone else around me. I finally left Wal-Mart THANK GOD and then had to go to the post office to drop off a million zillion trillion packages. And then, because I had been so outwardly calm and shown no evidence of the murderous rage I was feeling at Wal-Mart, I decided to reward myself with a king-size Diet Coke from Burger King. Those pussies at McDonald’s might have caved in to pressure and taken away their super-sized drinks and fries, but Burger King still has ’em, so HA! Nectah of the gods. And now I’m starving to death, so I’m going to go eat. Buh-bye!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Oh, but wait. Did I show you the picture I got for my birthday from Fred? I don’t think I did. I’ve been wanting this picture for ages and ages, and so I finally just asked for it. And got it! It’s in a different frame, though. I love, love, LOVE this picture. It’s hanging on my bedroom wall where I can see it from the bed, and I love to just lay in bed and look at it. Does my husband rock, or what? (That’s a rhetorical question. I think we all know he rocks the casbah.) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~]]>

so far, bet I can if I really work at it…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Man. It’s only 12:30, and thus far today I’ve: exercised, taken a shower, done laundry, had my hair colored and cut, dropped off packages at the post office, gone to get a new driver’s license, rented a couple of movies, and picked up a bunch of school supplies at Staples for the spud. I need a nap. Nothing against the woman who does my hair, but I always hate having my hair done, because it takes an hour and a half, or thereabouts, and I get bored and fidgety. At least I had a decent ‘do for the driver’s license picture. Getting my driver’s license was the least painful part of the morning, because it took literally less than five minutes. I guess 11:20 on a Tuesday morning is not the busiest time at the license place. I was in and out of there in no time. Our neighbor, the realtor who sold us this house, was in there as well, and spent the entire time he was transacting his business on his cell phone. Rude bastard. (Here in Madison, the Department of Motor Vehicles has a small offshoot in the local grocery store, so I don’t actually have to shlep all the way into Huntsville THANK GOD.) Tomorrow, I have an eye appointment because I’m about out of contacts, which means it’s time to go see the doctor and get a new year’s worth of contacts. I hate going to see the eye doctor. After my appointment, I have to hit Target and Sam’s, which means it’s going to be a busy morning for me. And at some point I need to pick up all the empty boxes laying around the house (seriously, there’s a pile of three boxes in the corner of the computer room, a couple by the garage door, and one by the front door) and figure out a new home for them. I also need to vacuum the downstairs and balance the checkbook. I think I need another vacation. It’s all good, though, because at least THIS is not the week where I have my appointment with the gynecologist. That’s next week, and if I’m not looking forward to seeing the eye doctor, I’m REALLY not looking forward to seeing the gynecologist. I’m already dreading it, even though I know it will be fast and relatively painless, but I always dread it for ages and ages beforehand. It’s probably a good thing that birth control pills aren’t over-the-counter, because if I didn’t have to go back and see her to get a prescription for another year, I doubt I’d EVER go see her. At least it’s 71 degrees out right now. But I could use a little sun, too. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ So, the spud started driver’s ed yesterday. When she got home, she told me that the driver’s ed teacher is licensed to give driving tests. Which means that once driver’s ed is up, he can give the kids their test to determine whether they’re ready for their license, which will be mighty convenient since we won’t have to shlep into Huntsville for her to take the test. (Can you tell that shlepping into Huntsville isn’t really my favorite thing?) This is both convenient and scary – because it means that the spud could have her license in just a few short months, which means she will then be able to DRIVE down the ROAD with other vehicles on the road as well. Scary. But convenient for those times when we’ve run out of, say, milk. I can just give her money and send her to the store! And she can go buy her own school supplies! And she can go pick up her own school schedule next August! Still a little scary, but I’m sure I’ll get over it the first time I say “Spud, go to McDonald’s and get me a Diet Coke!” and she DOES. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Last night we watched the first two episodes of 24 we’d taped Sunday night. Toward the end of last season – which we watched on DVD because we hadn’t yet realized the magic of Jack Bauer when it was on TV last year – we noticed that Jack was saying “Okay, fine” ALL THE FUCKING TIME, and Tony was saying “Yeah, sure.” Swear to god, in at least one episode, they were saying nothing BUT “Okay, fine” and “Yeah, sure.” Fred and I decided that the writers had a bet that they could get Jack and Tony to say their respective lines like twenty times each. Chloe: “Jack, I need your permission to floople the doop.” Jack: “Okay, fine.” Chloe: “Tony, Michelle’s on the phone. Do you want me to put her through?” Tony: “Yeah, sure.” Chloe: “Are you sure?” Tony: “Yeah, sure.” Chloe: “Tony’s on the phone, Jack. And terrorists are going to be attacking CTU within the hour. I’m going to run my annoying yet appealingly quirky self into the lady’s room and confront someone and tell them I don’t care what they think about me and whether they believe me, because I’m telling the truth.” Jack: “Okay, fine.” You get the idea. So last night I went through a phase where every time Jack came on the screen and someone asked or told him something, I’d guess that he was going to say “Okay, fine.” But he never said it, not even once. Hmph. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Did I mention that I did a lot of shopping while I was in Maine? I ended up buying a ton of calendars – one more than I actually have space for. When I see calendars on sale for 50% off, I have a hard, hard time resisting. I’m only human, you know! So for now I have two calendars by my desk and one hanging on the refrigerator. I think I’m going to have to put one in the giveaway box, though it’s a Get Fuzzy calendar, and I do love the Get Fuzzy. Obviously I need a bigger house with more calendar-hanging wall space! Anyway, one of the calendars is by National Geographic, and it’s called “Moons“. The pictures are gorgeous, and sitting at my desk I find myself gazing appreciatively at the “January” picture. The other calendar is called Why Cats Do That, and each month has a picture of a cat doing something, and an explanation of why they do it. January’s picture is of a cat grooming, and the explanation (“Because it keeps them clean. DUH. Also, it tones their muscles.”) underneath. And lastly, on the refrigerator hangs the Gary Patterson calendar I get every year because a) I love the pictures, and b) it comes with a magnetic strip for ease of hanging AND a pen with a magnet on the back. And now I believe I’ve yammered on about calendars quite long enough. Plus, I’m hungry as hell. See you tomorrow! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Spanky would like his snack now, please. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~]]>

New logo for the new month, this one by reader Beth, made back in October. Oh, little kitties just crack me up. Thanks, Beth!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ So, Sonic lovers, how do you pronounce “route”, as in “I’ll have a Route 44 Diet Coke, please.”? Do you pronounce it “root” or do you pronounce it “rowt”? Because I pronounce it “root”, and the people at the Sonic around the corner act like I’m an idiot, carefully repeating my order back to me “That’s a ROWT 44 Diet Coke?” like I might get the hint. Oh, hell. I think this calls for a poll, don’t you?

“Root” or “Rowt”? Do you pronounce “route” (as in, “Route 44 Diet Coke”) “root” or “rowt”? “Root”, of course! “Rowt”! Duh. I don’t visit Sonic. I have more class than that. I have no opinion. I just want to vote. Current Results

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Julie at Subversive Cross Stitch is donating 100% of all sales through today to AmeriCares to assist in the tsunami relief effort. She’s got some hilarious stuff over there – go buy, quick! I’ll tell you what – if you want one of the cross-stitch pictures, but either can’t cross-stitch or don’t want to be bothered, buy the kit, send it to me, and I’ll do it for you and send it back. Fair enough? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ So yes, the spud and I are back from Maine. In fact, we got back Thursday afternoon to a clean house and kitties thrilled to have us home. The house was clean because Fred called a cleaning service to come clean the house from top to bottom the day before we got home. They did a good job, and it’s always nice to come home to a clean house. (It was actually my idea to have them come clean. It was his follow-through that made it happen, though. He rocks, you know.) Of course, four days later the entire house needs to be vacuumed again. I’d use my earnings from the lottery I won when I was in Maine, but I forgot to play the damn lottery, so there are no winnings for me. Damnit. We did some serious-ass shopping while I was in Maine. We went shopping all but one or two days, and I got some really awesome stuff on sale. I didn’t, you will be amazed to hear, buy any books. Oh, wait – that’s a lie. I did buy one book, but it was on sale and I was already buying a calendar, and – MOST IMPORTANTLY – it was before January 1st, so I was okay. How many people really believe I’ll go the entire year buying no books except for those put out by my favorite authors? Hell, I’m not sure I believe it myself. I bought a ton of stuff on sale (the sales were awesome. Did I mention?) and ended up not only going to one of those places where they pack boxes for you to have the breakable stuff packed and shipped home, but I also filled up an entire suitcase with the unbreakable stuff. This only worked because the spud and I each got a suitcase from my parents for Christmas. Suitcases from Hawaii, by the way. I need to snap a picture of them to show y’all how cute they are. Not only did we shop a lot, we ate out at least one meal a day, every day. I got to visit my favorite restaurants – Vinny T’s twice, the Muddy Rudder, an Italian from The Kitty Korner. I had orange Hostess cupcakes and a couple of whoopie pies – all the food I look forward to when planning a trip to Maine. We threw a baby shower for my brother’s girlfriend at the Muddy Rudder, and there was an amazing amount of presents for her to open. I love checking out all the baby stuff and loved buying a bunch of stuff for them, but I for sure wasn’t having the yearning to have another kid. That might change this summer when I get to meet my newest niece or nephew and hold him/ her, but I doubt it – I don’t think another kid is in the cards for us. My brother’s girlfriend is adorable and was completely taken by surprise by the shower, and even more taken by surprise by the fact that my brother was there. My other brother – Tracy – and his wife, Kate, and their kids were already in Maine when I got there, but our visits only overlapped by a day and a half. I was sad to see them go, but glad to get the basement bedroom back, because it’s hell trying to sleep in a single bed when you’re used to a queen. Kate looked absolutely amazing; she had weight loss surgery back at the end of March and has lost more than 110 pounds. It was so weird to see her in person, because I’ve been seeing the pictures, but seeing her in person was a whole different thing, and I had a hard time looking directly at her at first, because my brain just couldn’t comprehend the amazing difference. So I’d stare at her, look away while my brain thought about it, stare at her some more, look away, and so on. Luckily I got over that pretty quickly; it’s amazing to see a difference like that. She’s a tiny thing now – I was afraid I was going to break her when I hugged her. Also, she turned me on to Jack Link’s Beefsteak Nuggets. That stuff is like crack – I finally went to Wal-Mart this morning and bought some of it because I’ve been craving it. I’m not usually a beef jerky fan, but this stuff is really good. Chock-full of protein, too! Also, Typhoid Kate (hee!) gave me her cold. My parents kept insisting that I stuff as many Vitamin C tablets down my throat as I could, and use the ZiCam spray every day, and I have to say that I actually think it worked. I had a cold for about a week – it still hasn’t completely gone away – but it wasn’t severe enough to stop me from shopping, eating out, or going to the movies. (To be honest, I don’t think a brain tumor could stop me from shopping, etc. I’d be yelling “Yeah, I gotta get out of here, there’s a sale at my favorite Hallmark store. Let’s go, Doc, dig that fucker out!”) Let’s see… Oh, like I said, we went to the movies. We saw Meet the Fockers (sucked), National Treasure (awesome), and Ocean’s 12 (not bad – I just like to see all the pretty faces). I’m surprised we only saw three movies this time, but there wasn’t a big selection of movies we wanted to see, either. I spent New Year’s Eve with Liz. We went to dinner at The Outback, which wasn’t bad. The coconut shrimp was awesome, the honey-mustard dressing on my salad was the best I’ve ever had, but the rest of the food? Eh. I had the ribs and chicken, and probably would have been happier at LoneStar. After dinner, we saw Bob Marley* at the Merrill Auditorium, which is only a few blocks from Liz’s apartment. *Bob Marley the comedian, not Bob Marley the reggae guy. When Liz asked if I’d be interested in seeing Bob Marley, I said “Yeah, sure!”, all the while thinking “I had no idea Liz liked Reggae!” It took about two days for the information that she was referring to the comedian to break through the fog encasing my brain. The guy who opened for Bob Marley – whose name I can’t remember – was funny once or twice, but he relied way too much on making fun of gays and the mentally handicapped for my taste. Bob Marley himself was funny at times, but the crowd was going absolutely nuts over stuff that I only thought was mildly humorous. I sure do sound like a snob, don’t I? I guess part of the problem was that I couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying, because it was absolutely sweltering in that auditorium, and the stairs were really steep, and I was scared shitless that someone was going to come along and trip over my feet and go flying. I’m sure that if I’d been comfortable he would have been totally hilarious. Or not – he’s another comedian who relied in a large part on making fun of the mentally handicapped. What the hell is up with that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen any of the big comedians doing jokes like that. You’d never see Jerry Seinfeld staggering around the stage and expecting us to find it funny, would you? (Yeah, sue me. I think Jerry Seinfeld is funny as hell.) Anyway, I dropped Liz off at her apartment after the show and headed home. Except I decided to drive up Forest Avenue to look for a gas station, so I could stop and get a bottle of water. I found a gas station, but it didn’t look all that open, so I kept going, and got all confused because Forest Avenue ends, and there were traffic lights flashing in all directions and I couldn’t figure out when the fuck it was my turn to go, so I pulled a U-turn and went back to the gas station I’d passed, to find that it was actually open. I bought a bottle of water and headed back from whence I’d come, intending to get on 95 or 295 or whatever the hell it is, only I passed the turn without realizing. So I turned around and passed the turn again, turned around, and passed the turn yet again. Swear to god, y’all, I hadn’t had a single drop of alcohol. Add to that the fact that every single time I so much as thought about hitting the brakes, my purse went flying onto the floor, and you might understand why at 11:50 pm on the last night of the year I was bellowing “WHEN THE FUCK AM I GOING TO FIND MYSELF OUT OF THIS HELL, O LORD?” But I eventually got it figured out and was on the highway and halfway home when I glanced at the clock and noticed that I was ten minutes into the new year without having realized it. I haven’t been up past midnight on New Year’s Eve for probably ten years, now. There was very little traffic on the road, and I made it home safe and sound with no further problems. So, I guess that about hits the highlights. I spent lots of time with my sister and mother, did a ton of shopping, eating, reading, and movie-watching. Did some frantic looking for cheap t-shirts for the spud to get for her friends – on Wednesday, we found that Cool as a Moose in Freeport was moving locations, and was selling their t-shirts for $5 each. I bought several, along with a couple for the spud, but didn’t know that she was on the lookout for shirts for her friends, so didn’t get any for her. The lady working at the location where they were selling the $5 t-shirts said they’d be there until Friday. When the spud told us Wednesday night that she wanted to get t-shirts for her friends, we decided we’d go back to Freeport the next day. We did, but they’d closed the old location and were moving everything out. When we tried the new location on Monday, they were closed for inventory. When we went BACK on Wednesday, they said there’d be no more $5 shirts, but that they’d bring the shirts up from the basement eventually and sell them for $9.99. We looked at some more stores in the area, and finally I said “Why don’t we just go back and get some of the $9.99 t-shirts they already have out, and I’ll pay half?” The spud was amenable to that, because we’d been to all the discount stores in the area – Marden’s, Reny’s, Grand City – and found nothing even approaching a $5 t-shirt. The day we left, we had plenty of time to kill in the airport (my father wanted us to leave the house at 8:00. For a flight that left at 10:55. It takes 45 minutes to get to the airport. I don’t think leaving three hours early is really the way to go. We left the house at 8:30, and still had an hour and a half to kill before the flight left.) and went into the gift shop. I bet you know where I’m going with this, don’t you? Yeah. Maine t-shirts for $4.49. I guess next time we’re going to hit the damn gift shop before we do anything! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ We flew Independence Air this time, and I recommend it. What I do NOT recommend, however, is choosing to sit in the front row. Because you THINK you’re going to have more leg room, but you really don’t. And naturally I’d chosen the front-row seats on every single flight. It sucked, is what I’m saying. The flight attendants were funny and nice (although I have to say that I have yet to have a flight attendant on any airline who doesn’t rock – you have to have a sense of humor in that job, I tell you) and the snacks weren’t bad. They even offered hot towels at the end of the flight, and mints, too! If you have a chance to fly Independence, I say you go for it before they file bankruptcy. I don’t recommend you ever fly into the Portland airport, though. My god, it’s about half the size it needs to be, about five other flights landed at the same time ours did, and only one luggage carousel was working, and every asshole in the vicinity thought the best idea would be to stand belly-up to the carousel so that no one else could get to their luggage. They had a carousel packed with luggage, and just kept tossing it on there. Suck, suck, suck. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Thanks, y’all, for the birthday wishes yesterday. I had a very low-key day. We went out Friday for Mexican and had my birthday cake, so yesterday I just opened my presents (books, and new slippers from LL Bean. Whee!), tried to catch up on my journal reading, and took a midday nap. It was a good day, topped off by a dinner of garlic slow-cooked chicken. YumMY. Saturday I got not one, but two bouquets of flowers. A dozen roses from Fred, and an arrangement of flowers from Liz. I do love fresh flowers, and just seeing the vases of flowers sitting in the living room makes me smile. My mother, while I was in Maine, said “I hate your wish list! There’s nothing but books on there!” I said “Nuh UH! There are movies and CDs on it, too! Cold Mountain is on there!” She said, “Oh, really?” And when I got home from Maine I found an Amazon box waiting for me. Inside were my birthday presents from my parents – Cold Mountain, the Cold Mountain soundtrack, and Return to Cold Mountain. Gee, do you get the impression that I might’ve liked that movie and the music from it? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~]]>

one way to start off the new year right.

* * * Happy new year, y’all! I’m having a good time. I’ve done tons of shopping, went to one movie this afternoon, and will be going to another this evening. More next week. Have a great week!]]>