(Pardon the crappy pictures)
Anyway, I found frames for all three pictures – black frames, in case you’re wondering – and ended up buying a few other things because of COURSE I can’t go into Target and buy just what I went in for.
I left Target and went to Sam’s, where I stocked up on water, gum, toothbrushes, shaving gel. You know, the usual exciting stuff. Fred had asked me to look at Sam’s and see if they carry big containers of the beef jerky I got at Wal-Mart the other day. Kate got me started on it while I was in Maine, and I got Fred started on it – he likes it even more than I do, if that’s possible. Sam’s had all kinds of beef jerky, but none of them were beef nuggets of course, so when I left Sam’s I decided to head up the street to Wal-Mart and see if I could get more packages there.
I hate Wal-Mart. Target has spoiled me, because now when I walk into Wal-Mart and see pallets of stuff laying everywhere it just annoys me. This Wal-Mart is right down the street from Target, and whereas Target was slightly busy this morning, Wal-Mart was wall-to-wall packed with people. I walked along the checkout lanes looking for the desired beef jerky, in original flavor, but could find only one pack. I was getting more and more annoyed because there were thousands and thousands of packets of the teriyaki flavored nuggets, but the original flavor was nowhere to be seen.
Finally I decided to make one last check of the lanes, and when I approached lane 15, I hit the mother lode. There was an entire box of the original flavor, and I grabbed as many bags as I could hold. I stood in line behind people who were moving as slow as molasses (YES, GODDAMNIT! I HAVE CONFIRMED THAT YOU CAN, IN FACT, BEGIN WRITING THE FUCKING CHECK BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY HEAR WHAT THE TOTAL IS, YOU IN-MY-WAY MOTHERFUCKER!) and a cashier who was moving even slower.
Due to the fact that I hadn’t eaten breakfast I was far more impatient and ready to snap than I usually am and I just wanted to push everyone right the hell out of my way and throw money at the cashier and run out, clutching my beef jerky to my chest, but I refrained because I hate those impatient-acting, sighing, tapping, muttering assholes. Even if, secretly, I AM one of those assholes, it wasn’t necessary to prove it to everyone else around me.
I finally left Wal-Mart THANK GOD and then had to go to the post office to drop off a million zillion trillion packages.
And then, because I had been so outwardly calm and shown no evidence of the murderous rage I was feeling at Wal-Mart, I decided to reward myself with a king-size Diet Coke from Burger King. Those pussies at McDonald’s might have caved in to pressure and taken away their super-sized drinks and fries, but Burger King still has ’em, so HA!
Nectah of the gods.
And now I’m starving to death, so I’m going to go eat. Buh-bye!
It’s in a different frame, though.