* * *
Recently, Fred and the spud went to Wal-Mart so that she could get some driving practice and do some shopping. While Fred was looking around, he remembered that he needed a dingus sling for his upcoming snip-snip. So he bought it and brought it home and showed it proudly to me, and then left it on top of my dresser for several days.
One afternoon when the spud got home from school, we were talking about her day and out of the blue she said “Did Fred model his jock strap for you, too?”
“Yeah,” I said, and grinned, remembering how he’d put the jock strap (and nothing else! Whoo!) on and danced around the room. I tried to convince him to shake his butt, yelling “Twinkle twinkle, baby! Twinkle twinkle!” at him like Vince Vaughn in the Be Cool trailer, but he wouldn’t. Because he’s a party pooper.
::sound of tires squealing::
“Um, ‘TOO’? Are you telling me that he modeled his jock strap for YOU?” I said.
I envisioned Fred in his jock strap and nothing else, dancing around for the spud while she cried silent, horrified tears and wished frantically for her mommy.
The spud nodded and giggled. “Yeah, it was funny!”
“It was?”
I envisioned Fred in his jock strap and nothing else, dancing around for the spud while she hooted gleefully.
“Yeah, he danced around like this,” she explained, demonstrating someone big and goony flitting around the room.
That afternoon when he came home, we went upstairs. I lay down on the bed while he was in the closet changing from his work clothes to his comfy sweats.
“So,” I said, rolling over onto my stomach so I could see his face. “I understand you modeled your jock strap for the spud?”
He paused in the midst of pulling on a pair of sweatpants and gave me a wide-eyed deer-in-the-headlights look.
“ON MY HEAD!” he said frantically. “I PUT IT ON MY HEAD AND SHOWED HER!”
Heh.
* * *
I have created monsters in our kitties. Every single flippin’ time I go into the kitchen, there’s a stampede of kitties right there, hoping to be given some food. Spot is the ringleader and always the first one in the kitchen, sitting and giving me frantic god-in-heaven-woman-I’m-starving-to-death looks. If I don’t immediately give him something to eat he starts meowing.
As I believe I’ve mentioned before, Spot damaged his vocal chords when he was a baby by meowing too long at Fred’s apartment door (Spot was outside, trying to get in – but every time Fred opened the door, Spot ran away. Then he’d come back and meow some more.). So Spot doesn’t meow like a normal cat; his meows sound like a squeaks from an unoiled hinge.
But he’s gotten a new meow. Now, when he’s demanding food from me in the kitchen, he sounds like a small child screaming. And it drives me NUTS. It’s like nails on a chalkboard and it always sends shivers up my spine. I chase him out of the kitchen, but he always comes back and makes that sound again. He’s persistent as hell, and usually I just give in and toss him a piece of whatever I’m chopping up.
I know, not a good response.
And of course, if I toss him something, I have to give Mister Boogers and Spanky each a piece, too. It’s gotten to the point where I try to sneak into the kitchen, chop up whatever I have to chop, start it cooking, and run out before the cats catch wind of the fact that I’m in the kitchen.
No matter where in the house or yard they are, though, they know within 30 seconds that I’m in the kitchen.
Bastards.
* * *
I’m enjoying the hell out of
The O.C in the mornings while I exercise. I’m about to the end of show number 3 of the first season and I get so caught up in the show that the time on the elliptical just flies by.
(Seth is totally my boyfriend, by the way, whether he likes it or not. When he went to Marissa’s house and saw Summer standing there in her bra and Marissa said, loudly, “What’s that, Seth? You need a ride to the Star Wars convention?” (so Summer wouldn’t know they were talking about Ryan) and Seth said “Summer was standing there in her bra! Couldn’t you at least say the X-men convention?” I laughed out loud. I love that kid.)
This morning, for the second time ever, I did 3.01 miles in 35 minutes. That’s fucking awesome for me.
I guess it’s time to up the resistance a bit.
* * *
Dr. Phil had a follow-up show on the show I talked about last week, Mikai and his family. It aired yesterday and I DVR’d it, but haven’t watched it yet. So far I’m only up to Monday’s show (I always get a bit behind with Dr. Phil and Oprah), but when I do watch it I’ll try to remember to mention my impressions in here.
Oh, and speaking of Oprah, she had the cast of
Diary of a Mad Black Woman on last week (which I just watched yesterday). That
Shemar Moore is one fine, fine, FINE man. I loved him back when I watched The Young and The Restless, and he’s only gotten better looking in the past several years.
* * *
Talk about your blank look.]]>
Hee, that’s funny you have to hurry and do your thing before the cats find out! ha! My dogs, Jack and Tom….get a treat in the am when they come in from their morning potty break and in the pm when they come in from their after we get home potty break. Sometimes we run out of treats…and it breaks my heart seeing them all excited, tails wagging, all happy and to say…sorry you don’t get anything….but usually I’ll rumage a slice of lunchmeat out of the fridge for them..ha!
It’s hard to say to pets…isn’t it?
that should read, It’s hard to say NO to pets…sorry about that!
OMG, my co-workers now think I’m a loon (well they probably already did), the jock strap story made me laugh out loud. I’m still smiling. I needed that after my nightmarish all morning meeting.
A while back someone asked in the comments about Bitter Hag and what happened to her. She’s back and posting about monthly at http://www.bitterhag.com.
FYI, Robyn, I found you through her “who I read” page years ago.
The jock strap story made me snort laugh!!!
I’ll be curious to see what you think of the follow-up Dr. Phil show. I watched it last night and was disappointed.
I can totally relate about not being able to be in the kitchen without the cats converging, looking for a handout.
You see, what we need is a guard-pelican in the kitchen: http://jump.typepad.com/jump/2005/03/when_pelicans_a.html
P.S. Spanky is beautiful, even when he’s staring blankly into space.
Oh what a pretty kitty!
Sigh. I love that cat.
And congrats staying with Fred – through all of the jock strap moments.
So where is the story of how you two met? *goes to look to see if I have my own hubby-meeting story in my journal…*
Happy Anniversary!! 🙂
(ok, too much thesis writing… can’t even spell my own name right!) that was me above. Congrats all the same! 🙂
Happy anniversary to my favourite online couple!!
Happy, HAAAAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Our two kitties are the same way. They can hear a can opener working from all quadrents of the house. Usually it’s not tuna, but hope springs eternal in their little kitty breasts and I have to let them sniff : :: the opened can to assure themselves that it’s beans, NOT tuna (of which they always get a few nibbles).
Congrats on your Big Nine.
Re: Smart & Sassy: Like a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, I can’t stop reading at one day, but devour the whole weeks worth of questions in one sitting.
The woman who shares my office thinks I am totally insane now. I laughed so hard I almost fell right out of my chair. The jock strap story just about knocked me flat on my can!
Congrats to you both! Has it been 9 years already?!? boy time does indeed fly.
How’s about a video of Spot’s meow? :o)
Happy Anniversary to one of the internet’s most entertaining couples!
Happy Birthday! What…ahh, Happy Anniversary!
I was like Shemar who? So I clicked on the link and I was like oh yeah him! I used to watch Y&R too – he is mighty fine. Black men are beautiful. They certainly are. I told my personal trainer that nothing beats a black man’s body (black woman’s too for that matter) and it was just off the cuff. Well literally months later he brought it up, I supposed I hurt his fragile ego. You know men, they all have fragile egos. I was somewhat horrified at the jock strap story, but assumed that Fred did have more common sense than that. And also since he got embarrassed watching South Park with the spud, I assumed that there was more to the story.
Hi Robyn,
Love your site! Some time back you mentioned a book about women traveling alone by car. I did a search on your site but couldn’t find it. Can you please give me the name of that book!
THANKS xxoo
YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TRY TO UPSET! THERE ARE MORE OF US THAN THERE ARE OF YOU….PERVERTED BITCH.
Wow. I can’t wait for Fred to get ahold of the above noter. Whoo hoo! Par-tay!
No, don’t be too impressed – the comment was from someone in the UK who isn’t intelligent enough to know that when someone hotlinks an image, it’s not necessarily (and, in fact, probably NOT) the person who’s hosting the image.
My life just got a whole lot easier – I’m taking down the GFY page because I’m done with dealing with the shit.
ilaughed so hard i snorted at the jockstrap story and shemar moore so very very fine
I have to say that until I caught the fact that you actually watch oprhoid and dr(?) phulloshit that I was impressed w/ the inner workings of your mind. Now i’m not so sure.
Of course, I have to confess to a guilty pleasure of watching Jessica Simpson and her hubbys show “newlyweirds” or whatever the hell it’s called, she’s daffy as a football bat………… but she’s got nice tits, lol