Lost yesterday. My god, that is such a good show. If you’re not watching it, you’re missing out!
Also, Fred and I watched Wife Swap last night. Another excellent show. I think Wednesday night on ABC has turned into my own personal Must-See TV night. But who are these people who clean for five hours a day? Who? I can’t even imagine. Also, who are these people who cater to their child’s every whim? Breakfast in bed? Three perfectly matched outfits to choose among? You are not doing your kids any favors by spoiling them rotten, people. On the other side, who on earth, knowing that another woman will be spending two weeks in their house, doesn’t clean? I spend an hour cleaning just when we’re having Fred’s parents over to watch a movie with us. If I knew another woman was going to be spending two weeks in my home, I’d spend a week beforehand scrubbing the entire house from top to bottom.
Okay, TV talk is over for now.
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I think something’s wrong with my sense of smell. Miz Poo just farted and it smells like pineapple.
Maybe all those years of picking my nose has finally done some damage.
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Oh, nevermind. It’s apparently a candle sitting in one of my desk drawers. I guess that makes a little more sense than a pineapple-scented Poo poot.
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So, if you’ve ever flown before, chances are good you’ve come across the SkyMall catalog. If you’ve never flown before or haven’t explored the pouch on the back of the seat in front of you, woe betide you, because SkyMall is awesome. When I flew home from Maine in September, I was bored with whatever it was I was reading, and I picked up the SkyMall catalog, which I usually prefer not to look at, because it is filled with many a wondrous thing. This time, though, I did look through the entire thing, and by the time I’d landed in Huntsville, I’d marked half the pages as having something on them that I desperately needed to have.
When I got home, I tossed the catalog in my desk drawer where it stayed for a month or so, and then a few weeks I was cleaning out the drawer and came across the catalog, and remembered how desperately I needed this stuff.
Which is how it happened that a huge styrofoam-peanut-filled box was left in front of my door by UPS earlier this week. When I opened the box, I found an item I’d ordered not for me, but for the cats.
Before I tell you what it was, let me remind you of how we used to have a
sweater dryer sitting under the table in the master bedroom. It was there because once upon a time I actually used it as a sweater dryer, and then Miz Poo discovered it, and then various and sundry other cats discovered it, and it became not so much a sweater dryer as a kitty hammock. Tubby used to love laying on it, only he was so heavy that once he settled his big ass on it the one side of the dryer that was attached via velcro would come undone, and I’d have to fix it. The other kitties liked laying on it, but Tubby loved it most of all.
A few months ago I looked at the sweater dryer and realized that it had gotten pretty nasty and torn, because Meester Boogers had come to enjoy getting under it and kicking it with his back feet, and sometimes I’d walk across the room in the middle of the night and find that the little bastard had knocked the sweater dryer into the middle of the room.
When I say I’d “find” the sweater dryer in the middle of the room, what I mean of course is that I’d stumble across it, and swear up a storm and get myself so worked up and annoyed that I’d have a hard time falling back to sleep.
Anyway, I took the sweater dryer apart and tossed it, because it was in such bad shape, and I vowed that I would look for something else to put there. Then I read the SkyMall catalog, and voila!
Exactly what I wanted, and for an excellent price!
SkyMall is the shit, yo.
So I ordered it and after a few weeks of waiting it arrived and then sat in a huge styrofoam-peanut-filled box for a few days before I got around to unpacking it (and spilling those frickin’ peanuts everywhere. What I hate the most about those damn things is how they stick to you. Grrr!). Wednesday I finally unpacked it and took the pieces of the dog bed out of the box and got a screwdriver and sat myself down on the living room floor to put it together.
And half an hour later I stomped out of the living room and called Fred to bitch about how the bed was a “worthless piece of shit” because I just could not get the fucking thing put together. Fred talked me down, promising to put it together himself when he got home.
He was true to his word, and he didn’t swear or yell at the stupid dog bed in frustration or throw anything across the room, and he had it put together in ten minutes flat with very little problem even though one of the pieces was warped, because he is a bastard.
We left it in the middle of the living room so the cats could sniff at it and get used to it and be freaky and all that. Spanky was the first one to try it out, because it was sitting in a spot of sun. He seemed to approve.
Miz Poo was the next to give it a whirl Thursday afternoon while I was sitting on the couch cross-stitching.
Then last night Meester Boogers came sniffing around.
First he sat under it, trying to decide if this was a new Stump Cave.
Then he chewed on the fabric.
Then he chewed on the metal.
After we were done watching TV, I carried it upstairs to the master bedroom and put it under the table the TV sits upon. Meester Boogers spent the evening hiding under it and smacking at the other cats as they wandered by.
In case you were wondering, we are officially Crazy Cat People. We have 8 cat beds in this house and only four cats. How fucked up is that?
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I have to say, I really REALLY want a pet stroller, because helLEW, how stylin’ and cool (also completely fucking goofy and nutty) would I look, strolling down the street with Meester Boogers in a stroller?
I’ve tried six ways to Sunday, but I just can’t justify the
$129 cost, though. Damnit.
Maybe I could make my own pet stroller with an old stroller and some netting!
Yeah, I’ll get right on that.
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Pet store kitty pics from Monday are up,
here.
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Fred saw this car in the parking lot of our grocery store and came home to get a picture of it, just for me. I’d seen it before, though. It belongs someone who works at the store. Very “me”, don’tchathink?
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