Happy 13th birthday, Brian!
* * *
The city of Madison is apparently in the midst of a social experiment.
“What,” they wondered, “Would happen if we started work on a road, abandoned it for three weeks, and then started working on it again with a vengeance? Working from 6 am to 6 pm every day. Oh! And what if we had big, heavy equipment that did nothing but back up, making that eardrum-shattering “I’m backing up!” sound big equipment makes? What if we did this directly outside the bedroom of Robyn And3rson? How long would it take her to snap? Oh! And what if, once we’ve stopped work at 6 pm, we give her a few hours to be lulled into a false sense of security, and THEN we move about 1/4 mile down the road and start digging up road, so that she can juuuuust hear us digging when she’s trying to go to sleep? Oooh, fun!”
And then the people at City Hall all placed their “When will Robyn And3rson snap?” bets, ranging from
twenty minutes to
three days.
They don’t know that years of being on the receiving end of a yammerer, starting at a very early age, has made me into a person who can tune things out at the drop of a hat, and keep them tuned out for hours and hours and hours.
But even I have my limits. Here, watch
this 12-second video clip I made JUST FOR YOU and feel the magic of being in my home! This is what I’ve been hearing 12 hours a day for the last three days. Make sure you turn your sound WAY up, to get the full effect.
I’m about to snap, I can feel it…
I’m curious, though. I don’t understand how on earth they’re getting ANY work done if they’re doing nothing but driving in reverse.
Fuckers.
* * *
One of the many things I love about my husband is how excited he gets when he’s writing a program. We were laying in the bed the other night and he started telling me about a software program he’s been writing (not for work – for fun! The man writes software just for the fun of it!)(it’s an FTP client, he says. He’s thinking of releasing it as freeware or shareware when he’s done with it) and he gestured so largely and flailed his arms around so vigorously that by the time he was done I was beginning to feel vaguely seasick.
He loves to get into the details of the components of the software he’s working on, and he calls each piece “he.” As in, “blah blah blah and then he goes over here, and then blah blah blah.” Hearing him refer to pieces of software as “he” always makes me smile.
(He just told me he was talking about recursing a remote directory tree. Well, DUH.)
It’s pretty cool to see someone get that excited about the work he’s doing, even if it’s just for fun. When software can get him that hot and bothered (intellectually speaking), I guess he’s in the right line of work.
* * *
Reading about the
assmonkey Angel had to deal with recently (grrr!) reminded me of the problem – “problem”, I should say – we had with our DVR a few months ago. All of a sudden, after a certain period of nonusage, around four hours, the DVR/ cable box would turn itself off. This wouldn’t be a problem, except that the VCR was plugged into the DVR (are these initials giving you a headache, too?) and every time the DVR turned itself off, the VCR lost power, and so we’d have to reset the clock on the VCR every time we sat down to watch TV.
We decided it was a glitch in the DVR/ Cable box, and a call to the cable company didn’t make us think any differently, since the service rep. didn’t know why it was turning off either, so she made an appointment for the cable guy to come out a few days later. When the cable guy showed up (he was actually the one who’d brought out our DVR in the first place), I took him into the living room, showed him the DVR, and told him the problem.
“So it just shuts itself off after a few hours of inactivity?” he repeated once I’d finished talking.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Well, that’s what it’s supposed to do,” he said, and then gave me a
Not too swift, are ya? look.
“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t know that.”
“Yeah, it shuts off because it’s a computer and it’s better not to have it going 24/7.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, thanks for coming out!”
“No problem.” With “dumbass” implied in the words. “I hope the rest of my calls for the day are this easy!”
Heh.
(We solved the VCR issue by plugging it into the wall instead of the DVR. Voila!)
* * *
Every time I see the word “smitten” (I just saw it
here), I think of Phoebe saying to Monica “you are so much the smitten kitten!” on
Friends.
I just felt you should be aware of that. Just in case. Make a note, mm’kay?
* * *
Speaking of DVRs and TV and such, I finally got around to setting the DVR to record
Airline and
Growing up Gotti. Yay!
And speaking of the Gottis, maybe someone can help me out here. I bought the most recent copy of Star Magazine (um, shut up. I HAD to see the picture of Demi Moore that had her so horrified about her knees that she wants to have them lifted. And, having seen the picture of said knees, I have this to say “Shut up, you stupid, vapid bitch. If you’re going to throw $15,000 away on plastic surgery for your KNEES, I’m going to have to put out a contract on your empty little head. Good fucking god, what the hell kind of example are you setting for those oddly-named children of yours? Is this why you and Bruce are divorced, because you felt the need to stupid shit like this? God LORD. Also, can you give me the name of your plastic surgeon? Because he’s REALLY FUCKING GOOD. Except for your boobs, I’d never know you’d had plastic surgery, except for the good people at Star, who were kind enough to list everything you’ve had done.)
Anyway, the Gottis. One of the (12 year-old) Star reporters went to Victoria Gotti’s house and something in the ensuing article pointed up the fact that her sons all go by the last name of Gotti also. Since Gotti is her maiden name, are the boys just using Gotti for the recognition factor, because it makes them look cool, or what?
Never mind, I think I just answered my own question. What a lame thing for me to be curious about.
* * *
Last night I was reading TV Guide (yes, I DO read the MOST fascinating stuff!), and I came across this little blurb:
Nely Gal�n is finally practicing what she preaches. The 41 year-old life coach and creator of Fox’s hit makeover show The Swan
had her first plastic surgery on July 23 when she turned to one of the show’s surgeons, Dr. Terry Dubrow, for a breast augmentation. Gal�n, who swears she’d never had more than Botox shots in her forehead, tells TV Guide that she has wanted the surgery since giving birth to her son four years ago.
Oh my GOD. THIS is why you should never have plastic surgery, people. It APPARENTLY makes you so delusional that you think that people will look at you:
and actually believe you when you claim you’ve never had any plastic surgery at all. I call BULLSHIT on this one, folks. Just glancing at her, I’d say she’s not only had Botox in her forehead, she’s had a brow lift, cheek implants, silicone injections in her lips (or something else to make them puffy and frightening), and maybe even a chin implant. I might be wrong about some of those – but the woman HAS HAD PLASTIC SURGERY, there’s no doubt about it. For the love of christ, she looks like MADAME.
I don’t CARE that she’s had plastic surgery, it’s HER body – hell, she can become
Jocelyn Wildenstein (::shudder::), for all I care – but don’t LIE about it, like we can’t take one look at her face and know the truth. We might be dumb, but we’re not BLIND, for crying out loud.
I promise y’all that when I’m on facelift #13, I won’t lie about it. In fact, I’ll probably give you all the gory details, complete with pictures.
* * *
Bahaha! Jocelyn Wildenstein
says that if a woman can’t afford plastic surgery, she should develop a personality and learn to bake! Yeah, that’s who we need to be taking plastic surgery tips from… (Er, never mind. I didn’t realize Happy Woman is a satire site. Durrrr. Perhaps I should pay attention next time? Nah.)
* * *
::urrrrrp:: “Oh! ExCUSE me!”]]>