2004-03-19

* * * Oh my god, best thing EVER. If strong language offends you (in which case, why on EARTH would you be here?), give this a miss, but it’s excellent. EXCELLENT, I SAY! Go see your favorite stars swearing up a storm. If that link doesn’t work, try this one. Not work safe at ALL. Link ripped off from those crazy kids at Fractious Times.

* * * Pretty, no? Unfortunately Bradford Pear trees, when in bloom, have the foulest rotting-body odor I’ve ever had the misfortune to smell. Seriously, last year I thought there was something dead and rotting in the ditch behind our fence until someone clued us in that that’s just how those damn trees smell in the Spring. GAG. Oddly, the spud said yesterday, “Have you noticed that it kind of smells like chinese food outside?” CHINESE FOOD! Bwah! If that’s what chinese food smells like to her, I’m wondering why on god’s green earth it’s her favorite food. Perhaps what she meant was “Have you noticed that it smells like the bodies of fifteen [gentlemen of Chinese descent] laying in a pile in the ditch, rotting?” * * * No, that’s okay Miz Poo. You just sit there directly in front of my monitor, that’s just FINE. Just sit there and stare off into space, it’s not like I need to SEE the monitor or anything, nope! Confidential to Amy and Sharon: Miz Poo says they purr so loud in the middle of the night while laying as close to your head as possible to prove that they love you, and also that you are mean, unappreciative people who do not deserve the love of a good (or even bad) cat. (Of course, she only thinks that because she doesn’t know what I’ve been saying about her. Ha! I’ll be in trouble if she learns to read, I suppose…) * * * They’re still talking about sending either Fred or his partner to Bagdad (is that spelled right? Isn’t there an “h” in there somewhere?) to set up a new floopy-floop, Fred and his partner apparently being the only two on earth who can floop this particular floopy-floop. They’re the floopiest floopers who ever did floop! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get technical on you. You’ll just have to follow along and act as though you know what I’m talking about. Anyway, don’t think it hasn’t crossed my mind to grab Fred and the spud and defect to Canada if they don’t stop talking about it… Watch out, Canoodlians! * * * Warning: if you’re looking at buying a wireless router thingy (technical term), don’t go for the cheapest one. And if you DO go for the cheapest one, opt for the extended coverage they always try to cram down your throat at the store. Our wireless router thingy shit the bed today, and I’m typing up this entry on Fred’s computer, because his is the only one close enough to plug directly into the modem, and I’m not fond of Fred’s keyboard. He’ll be stopping at the store on his way home to buy a new, expensive wireless router thingy that will hopefully work for longer than four months before it craps out. Damn computers. Why they gotta be such a pain in the ass? * * * “Hey Dad, whatcha doin’, huh?” (That’s Spanky, by the way)]]>