Eudora, Outlook, or any other mail client to download your email? That’s why I’m changing my email address – I was just waiting for that particular feature to be available.
The best part is that gmail still catches the spam so you don’t end up downloading it.
I do love, love, love the gmail!
* * *
So I was about asleep last night when the phone rang. It was my friend Liz, half-drunk after a really crappy night. She placed an online personal and has ended up meeting some real assholes – since last week she spent four evenings chatting (both online and on the phone) with a guy she hit it off with. Now, Liz is overweight. Not as overweight as I am, but overweight, and she’s smart enough to tell guys right off the bat that she is. Because if that’s going to bother them, then why waste her time?
This guy she met online last week swore up and down and all around that her weight wouldn’t bother him. They spent a lot of time on the phone, and last night it became apparent that, in fact, the fact that she’s overweight bothered him. She told him off and hung up and went out to meet friends at a bar and ended up having a pretty good time.
But my question is this – if he knew that an overweight woman would not appeal to him, why the fuck did he have to waste her time? Why spend all that time on the phone with her, all that time chatting online with her, all that time on his webcam (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN), when in the end he wasn’t really interested?
“And he’s not much to look at, but that didn’t bother me!” Liz said.
You know, I just don’t get it. There are these really dorky looking guys out there, who have such an inflated ego that they think they deserve a woman who looks as (shudder) perfect as a supermodel. I know there are women who are the same, but I’ve found that the women are vastly outnumbered by the guys who will watch a gorgeous woman walk down the street and sneer “She’s got fat ankles!” I mean, please. What the fuck?
Liz said several times “I don’t CARE if they have a problem with me being overweight – I wish they’d just SAY SO instead of wasting my time!”
She also told me how lucky I was to have found a guy who’s so perfect for me and loves me whether I’m all dressed up with perfectly blow-dried hair or shlumping around in sweats and a holey t-shirt.
Of course, she didn’t have to tell me how lucky I am – I already knew it.
* * *
Interested in reading and critiquing something Fred and I wrote together? Go
here, follow the link to read what we wrote, and leave any comments at the end of Fred’s entry.
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Displeased.
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I’ve been reading/lurking around your and Fred’s journals for about two and a half years now, and I am ALWAYS thinking about how lucky you two are to have found each other! I think you guys have quite a perfect love story 🙂
I once went out with a guy for TWO MONTHS before he dumped me, admitting that he wasn’t attracted to me because I weighed more than him. WTF?! However, GOOD RIDDANCE. I am now dating someone who weighs even less than guy #1 does, and thinks that I am smart and beautiful and perfect (I think likewise about him, too!).
I hope your friend gets over this recent disappointment soon, so that she can move on and find someone who is worthy of her!
I met my fiance online. But we finally decided to meet face-to-face, I told him that I was overweight. I just wanted to be clear with him, so that if he had a problem with it, I wanted him to let me know right away, so we don’t waste each other’s time.
Needless to say he didn’t have a problem with it. In fact, he was almost insulted that I thought it might be an issue.
I too had online ads and met some weird and creepy men before meeting my current, perfect for me, husband. And I agree. I put a picture on my ad so the men would know what I looked like. (And it was a current photo too!) and I still got weirdos who would freak out over my weight. I also got other kinds of weirdos but that’s for another time. SO glad to be out of that scene!
that is good to know about gmail! thanks robyn!
Okay, so tell poor, stupid me where do I go to get the gmail settings for my Outlook? Please?
Debby – go here:
http://gmail.google.com/support/bin/answer.py?answer=12103&rand=0.1524904510973557
(I’ll add the link in the entry as well)
Robyn, I love your little Spanky. He looks like my sister’s Zoe except she has blue eyes. Anyway, I always have pictures of him on my desktop. Heh, that sounds kind of weird. :{
Guys can be assholes. Back when I was in shape and in my correct weight range, one guy I dated used to go on and on about how he loved French Manicures (read long acrylic nails). Of course, I didn’t have them, nor was I about to pay $25 a pop just to make him happy. A friend of mine recently dumped her husband because, among other much more nasty things, he would criticize her if she didn’t wear lipstick – at home! When they say that women want to “change” men, it’s usually a behavior that bothers the women. Men also want to change women all the time, but it’s usually something like bust size or hair color. Can we say superficial boys and girls? End of rant. Liz…there are good guys out there. Keep on keeping on!
It is indeed good to be loved, and good that the hunt is over. This January it will be seven years for us.
I agree that many men hold out for that super model. However many women hold out for the all around perfect guy. People need to be a bit more realistic esp. where love is involved. If they can not be, then have no business getting married until they figure out that life is all about trade offs. I love my husband dearly and we have a pretty good marriage. He’s not perfect and neither am I. The good far outweighs the imperfections. Anyone thinking they are going to find the person just as perfect as they are, will be looking forever.
We have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince. That’s just the way it is, but when you do find your prince, it was worth kissing all those frogs to get to him 🙂
Hi there- I have a list of a few blogs that I read. Obviously yours is one and Fred’s is too… I don’t even remember how I ended up with Fred’s. I think it had something to do with a blue walnut. Anyway- I finally figured out the connection with the link to your story (yes I guess I’m a little slow on the uptake here).
Just wanted to let you know I enjoyed it. Will we get to read more?
Society doesn’t place standards on men’s appearances, and as such, it seems that men think they don’t have to try and look nice/fit/decent, but they’re entitled to demand all of that from a woman. I personally think that if women would raise THEIR standards, and stop giving it up so easily, men might try harder to impress them. After all, when it comes down to it, they want what we have.
(Glad to be out of that game, too)
It’s human nature to want a fantasy ideal, but one has to realize that the fantasy ideal is just that–a fantasy.
… … …
Even when Spanky is displeased, he is *gawgeous*.
:o)
Just wanted to say that I really enjoyed yours and Fred’s chapter – I left a comment over there.
Liz’s experience made me laugh! In the past 8 years I have been everywhere, weightwise, from correct weight, to very very NOT correct weight (now). I was perusing singles ads on Yahoo for my area, when I saw a man I thought looked very familiar. His ad said he worked in a company very similar to mine, and he’s very distinct looking. Turns out, I DO work with him and met him (through work, not his ad. He doesn’t know I saw it). His ad said he was interested in ‘slim, athletic, etc’ (whatever Yahoo uses for ‘thin). Dude. The guy is 300lbs if he’s an ounce AND diabetic. I couldn’t stop laughing – I’m sorry, but his isn’t the first ad like this I’ve ever seen. Fat guys that want Barbies, with nothing to offer looks-wise in return? Also work with another single guy, IT tech, 350 at least, and always hanging out with the youngest, skinniest most beautiful girls. Guy bever has a date, and lives alone, yet hope lives, I guess! Reminds of the Yearling where gramma says “he sure has a low eye for a high fence!” (old Southernism). The sad part is, most of these guys *get* these skinny girls too! Like Liz, I’m not having any luck as an overweight single girl and have just given up, and I’m good with it (after several disasters). I ran one personal ad few years ago, twice, one not alluding to my weight, and the other telling what is was. I got a LOT of responses to the first, and NOT ONE SINGLE answer to the second. Not one. For years, I would lose weight to get a guy, or keep him – now, its for my health, and never EVER for a man. Idon;t know how old Liz is, but I found it much easier to get guys as a younger overweight girl, now I’m at the ‘trophy wife’ stage guys, who want 20-somethings (and get them). Feh. Single for the first time 6 years ago, with no regrets being alone. Liz, take heart. If you really want one, he’s out there for you!
I don’t mean any unkindness for the above guys, but the mind just *boggles*, no?
Mary, the funny thing is that the evening after she had it out with this guy, she went out and met some friends at a bar… and met a really sweet guy who likes her just as she is. I told her that if it works out with this guy, she should email the other guy and thank him for being an ass. Heh.