off back from the rug (I guess it’s a good thing we have an open floorplan, eh?) and the cats were completely freaked out. Meester Boogers and then Miz Poo walked all over the rug, sniffing every inch of it, and then looked at the living room furniture in the kitchen, and you could almost hear the gears in their heads grinding as they tried to figure it out.
Once the computer room is done, I need to do the area of carpet between the master bedroom and laundry room; it’s looking pretty bad.
All this cleaning is making me lightheaded.
* * *
I think it’s about time to sue my cable company for emotional distress. Last night after I cleaned the living room carpet, I decided to sit down and watch yesterday’s Oprah, which I had taped using the DVR, because it was the show about the 550-pound woman who’d lost 300 pounds, and also there was going to be an update about Wynnona Judd and her relationship with her mother. I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS SHOW, okay? I sat down and started watching it, and then I missed something Oprah had said, so I tried to rewind.
And the fucker locked up on me.
“Oh!” I said, stomping across the wet carpet to disconnect the power. “Oh, of COURSE! You goddamn piece of shit! Why do you never lock up on the shows I don’t really care about YOU FUCKING THING!!!!?” I rebooted the DVR and decided that I’d just watch the show without trying to fast forward or anything. I watched the first ten minutes of the show, then it FUCKING LOCKED UP AGAIN.
While I was mid-conniption, Fred wandered into the room and I looked at him all wild-eyed, and I said “You call those fuckers tomorrow and tell them to come get their fucking piece of shit! We are getting a TiVo RIGHT NOW!”
“I can call them right now, actually,” Fred said, and picked up the phone and called the cable company.
“You tell them that we’re getting a TiVo because this DVR is such a piece of shit!” I instructed. And then I looked around the living room, and said “Don’t let them come tomorrow, though!”, since the rug might not be completely dry by then.
He hung up the phone and said “They’ll be here Wednesday between two and four.”
Then he got on his computer and ordered a 40-hour TiVo (we don’t need the 80-hour one, we really don’t) from Amazon – $179 and a $100 rebate. Whoo! We even opted to pay for shipping, so maybe it’ll be here by the end of the week.
A girl can dream, anyway.
And then I wandered off to check my email and Fred sat down to watch TV, and he yelled “Bessie, come here!”
I went into the kitchen, and he picked up the remote and tried to rewind the TV to show me something.
“Hmm,” he said. “It won’t rewind!”
“Will it pause?” I asked. He tried it. “No!”
“Odd,” I said. “Maybe we should reboot the box. Let me look at our list of taped shows…”
I hit “list”, and what did I see? I saw a message from THAT GODDAMN CABLE COMPANY saying that we weren’t authorized for blahblahblah service. It appears that they’d instantly taken away our DVR service. Which I guess is what they were supposed to do but I HAD SO MUCH STUFF TAPED THAT I HADN’T WATCHED YET, GODDAMN IT!
That’s the second episode of ER I’ve lost. The second episode of Desperate Housewives (thank god they rerun it on Saturday nights), Boston Legal, and god knows what the hell else there was.
AGH!!!!!!
“We lived without it before,” Fred said reasonably. “We’ll survive without it for a few more days!”
“Shut up!” I snarled. “People lived with outhouses, too, but that doesn’t mean I want to live that way. THIS IS NO WAY TO LIVE!”
God I hope that TiVo gets here fast.
* * *
Meester Boogers is a bossy little bastard these days. At 9:00, when we’re through watching TV for the evening, Fred goes upstairs and I generally come into the computer room and check my email one last time. Sometimes I get caught up in an email or a journal entry and I am still sitting in front of the computer five minutes later. Which is when Meester Boogers comes downstairs and meows bitchily at me. “Dad’s upstairs,” he seems to be saying. “Now you have to be upstairs, too. It’s time! It’s after 9, you have to be upstairs!” Usually I give in and come upstairs immediately, because he has a very loud meow when he’s being bossy.
I guess that, just like his daddy, Meester Boogers likes his routine and dislikes it when anyone deviates from it.
* * *
“What?”
* * *]]>
I think you’ll like the TiVo… I personally don’t really watch tv, but some of the girls that I play poker with love tv and love all their shows and swear by TiVo. Hope it works out for you! Gotta love technology… when it works!!
“Fred and I sat on the couch and watched TV last night, with the couch just a few feet off the rug”
Hee! I had a mental picture of the couch hovering a couple feet in the air.
I guess I’m lucky because my DVR has run smoothly. I have no idea how we got along without it. FYI…in case you missed Wynonna she gained her weight back so no progress! Plus she told her Mom she needs some space. Heh!
Lisa – I hope I do love the TiVo. I loved the DVR, but it kept freezing up on me during the shows I was most looking forward to seeing. Grrr!
Boo – Hee!
Christine – Yeah, I had to go to Oprah.com and see what had happened! 🙂
Robyn,
One of my cats tells me to go to bed also. He’s a very quiet sort – he just comes, stares at me and gives me some head butts & love. The stares are what get me. His face is saying – come on Mom time for bed. Come On Come On, will you PLEASE hurry up!
I haven’t had any problems with my DVR (fingers crossed) however, my TV died last night!!!!!!!!!! Anyone have one that they can sell me for cheap and quick?!
Danielle – Too bad you don’t live closer to me; I don’t have a TV you can have, but I’d lend you one! 🙂
I feel your pain with the DVR. I came home from work last Friday night planning to catch up on MANY shows, and found that only 2…yes 2 of probably 20 I had on there were left. Apparently (according to the dish people) I don’t know how to do it right. Bunch of losers, or as my mother-in-law is found of saying “Their all a bunch of classless bag ladies”.
One of my cats gets super bent out of shape over changes in routine, too. Last week my husband was away overnight, and while I was sitting in bed watching TV, Cat kept hopping up on the bed, looking at Don’s empty side of the bed all confused-like, and then glaring at me and running away.
Apparently that was all my fault.
Hee,I can relate to the bitchy cats complaining about routine changes. My cockatiels do the same thing. When I have a busy day and don’t bring them out for their playtime,I hear about it. When I raised five cockatiel babies I would feed them one by one. Then after I cleaned them up,I would put the fed baby up on top of the cage to bask in the front of the heat lamp. When I was all done there they would be,all lined up in a row in front of the lamp. Very rarely I wouldn’t have time to let them “bask” and would instead just put them in their cage. Oyvey,the uproar upset babies can make! “Where’s my time in the sun??!!” they’d squeak.
Oh,to catch up on missed episodes,try http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com Within a few days of broadcast,they write a synopsis and you can also figure out what’s going in by reading the forums. I caught up with LOST by reading that site. I was determined to find out what that creature was but I hear even the actors don’t know WHAT it is!
I thought the same thing about the couch!
We love our Tivo so much that less than a week after we’d gotten it, Brian went out and got one for our bedroom TV too. It’s great. If I’m falling asleep while watching tv, all I have to do is click, and voila, I’m able to finish watching in the morning. LOVE LOVE LOVE it. And no problems so far. (We do NOT have the Tivo plus.)
You will love, love, LOVE your TiVo. It’s fabulous. It records whatever I ask, and has never failed me once. Also, because it loves me, it records random shows whenever Colin Firth or John Cusack pop up. Isn’t that sweet? Once, it recorded Amish in the City because it knows I like Sex in the City, but we had a little chat and cleared that all up. Enjoy! 🙂
I congragulate the woman for losing the weight. I have never seen anything so awful as those pictures of the excess skin. I don’t know what she looks like now, but her face looked great. She is a brave woman to show those pictures on TV. If she weighed 550, and lost 300 pounds, that would mean she is about 250 now. She looked great for 250, since she didn’t look that tall. You would think she would look heavier at that weight. That plastic surgeon was a real talent. If I ever decide to have plastic surgery, I defintely would look him up.
You definitely need your TiVo. Definitely. Uh-oh. V-E-R-N . . .
I did not know that Fred was so obedient! HEH!
Our geriatric, deaf dog is the bossy one around here. If I happen to sit in “her” spot on the couch, she goes to the door and asks to go out. As soon as I get over to the door, she waddles her fat little ass over to the couch and reclaims her spot, leaving me standing there holding the door open for no damn reason. BITCH!
Mo – Where the HELL did your site go?
Bev – He’s a very good boy and always does what I tell him to. Unless he doesn’t wanna. 🙂
Robyn,
You should have ordered the 80 hour TIVO. Or, get several TIVO’s. We have THREE and plan on getting one for the KITCHEN as well. Some nights there are several things to tape. Plus, I have several shows that I program on 2 or more TIVO’s so I can watch where I want!
When you get the second TiVo, you can hook them up to wireless and transfer shows from one to another. It doesn’t cost extra to do that any longer.
Tivo – YAY! Televisionwithoutpity – YAY!
Two of my most favorite things in the world.
Gah — I just realized I probably spend way too much time watching/ reading/ writing about television shows.
Hundrething the Tivo love here. I used to only watch about half an hour of tv a week and now I watch lots and lots of tv and it’s all thanks to the wonderful tivo because I don’t have to worry about the whole committment of being in front of the tv at x time (or remembering to set the damn vcr) And I love the tivo referral program – 4 referals and you get a free iPod? Now THAT is customer service!