2004-10-26

The spud lets her Southern roots shine through. Sixteen years ago right this very second, I was sitting in a hospital room with my then-husband and my mother, waiting to be taken back to the operating room. An examination and ultrasound the day before had shown that my body wasn’t planning on going into labor anytime soon, and the child I was carrying was estimated to be 10 pounds 6 ounces. “I think you’ve got a moose in there,” my OB/GYN told me. He told me that he’d like to schedule a c-section the next day; I agreed. I went home and cleaned like mad. I packed my bag. My then-husband and I went out to buy a few last-minute things, then went out for Chinese food (and the spud’s favorite food has always been Chinese. Coincidence? I think not!).

I got up early the next morning, showered and dressed, and had my picture taken, and then we were on the way. My parents and sister met us at the hospital, and my mother and husband went into the room with me to wait. While waiting, I could feel the baby moving entirely from one side of my body to the other. And I had to get up and pee about a thousand times.
It’s a blur now – they got the IV started and took me away to the operating room. I said goodbye to my husband, parents, and sister, and before I knew it I was counting backward from 100. What seemed like a minute later, I was coming to. The nurses told me the baby was perfectly healthy, and all I could think to say was “Does she have a lot of hair?” and when I asked they laughed and said they guessed she did. I was in and out of it for a few hours. While I was out of it, the spud’s father filled out her birth certificate (luckily we were in agreement about her name) and he held her for the first time. My parents hung around for a while and then left. When I was finally mostly awake, the nurses brought her to me, and I looked at her and said “Oh my god, she’s so tiny!” This, about a 10-pound 2-ounce baby that looked like she was six months old.
And the next feeling I had, after that feeling of wonder had passed, was pure abject terror. “Oh my god,” I thought. “What have I done? I can’t do this. I can’t be somebody’s mother!” I’m still a little terrified about that, to tell the truth. She’s a sweet, funny, inquisitive, intelligent, sympathetic, ditzy (like her mother), awesome kid; I’m not sure how that happened, but I’m not complaining!
* * *
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder, You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger, May you never take one single breath for granted, God forbid love ever leave you empty handed, I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens, Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance…. I hope you dance. I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance, Never settle for the path of least resistance Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’, Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’, Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter, When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider, Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. I hope you dance…. I hope you dance. I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens, Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance. Dance…. I hope you dance.
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65 thoughts on “2004-10-26”

  5. Oh my God Robyn I am bawling! What a nice entry. I have a two-year old boy and the Spud looks about his age in that third picture. I don’t want him to grow up. I want to hold him watching Sesame Street while kissing his warm little head and smelling his sweet little boy smell every morning for the rest of my life. Why do they have to get sooo big!?

  7. That is SO nice to read, what a great tribute to your daughter… Adorable baby shots. You must be one proud Mama today 🙂

  8. Happy 16th, Spud!!!
    And I, too, was sitting here weeping. I love that damn song. I can’t believe I’ve been reading you since she was like 10 or 11. Crazy crazy.
    LOVE!

  9. Robyn,you did it again! You gave me the first smiles of my day(it’s just after nine a.m. here)AND the first tears! It was a beautiful tribute!
    What’s neat is that I think Spud QUITE resembles Fred!

  15. Oh my gosh, Robyn, that was a beautiful entry.
    Did you notice that her expression when she’s laying on the couch (showing her Southun’ roots) is very similar to the second picture – the one where she’s in her crib? Hee hee!
    My son turns 1 tommorrow – I can’t imagine him turning 16. But if the next 15 years go by as fast as the first one has, then it’ll be here before I know it.
    Hope the birthday girl (and her Mom) have a great day!

  17. Nice – tears and lunch. Just what I was looking for. Happy birthday wishes to Danielle, and congrats to the proud momma!

  18. Oh My God Robyn I’m sobbing my eyes out. I’m reliving my daughter’s birth (she’s 8 now) right along with you. Happy Happy Birthday Spud – you’ve been beautiful from the very first day. Enjoy this special b’day! (“Trrrraa lalalalalalalala – Happy Birthday Sweet Six-teeheeen….”)

  21. *Wipes tears*
    I am nearly speechless. That is so beautiful and perfect!
    I love that song too! Fit this to a “T”
    Happy Happy to the Spud!

  23. Happy Sweet 16 to the Spud!
    Great entry, was very touching. Will she be doing anything special for it? I remember mine, my mom made all of my brothers leave the house for the whole day and night so it was just me, my girldfriends and mom. We had a blast!

  25. Happy Birthday, Spud! Whether you think so or not, you have a very cool mom who obviously loves you. Now that you’re 16, though, you can give her hell if you want :>

  28. Happy B-day Spud!!
    You were a cute little goober 🙂
    I got verklempt (or however you spell that Linda Richman word) too- that song kills me.

  36. Happy 16th birthday to the Spud! Love the entry. I got teary-eyed too. We share a birthday, only I’m turning 39 today!

  37. I’m glad I’m not the only one in tears!! Very moving entry. I wish Spud all the best and a very very happy birthday!!

  38. Happy Birthday, beautiful young woman, Spud. Happy Anniversary of Spud’s birth to you, Robyn. The best is yet to be for both of you.

  40. Happy birthday to the Spud. She is so pretty!!
    That was lovely and a pefect song to go along with her birthday today.

  41. I love that song. The pictures were wonderful. By the time I got to the end I was almost sobbing. Happy 16th Spud! You have grown into a beautiful young lady, and you have an amazing momma!

  44. *sob* What a wonderful tribute to your daughter… lovely, just lovely Robyn. Happy Birthday Spud!

  46. Its no wonder shes so awesome………look where she comes from. Happy Happy Birthday baby girl. 🙂

  48. Damn. All I ever got from my mom was a birthday gift wrapped in Xmas paper. I am sitting here crying like a sap!
    What a great entry!

  50. Happy birthday to a beautiful girl (those eyes!!!) and congratulations to you and Fred for giving her such a strong foundation.

  53. Robyn,
    That was so sweet! It’s obvious that you and the spud are very close…that’s awesome! Spud, Happy 16th Birthday!

  54. That was beautiful Robyn! You brought tears to my eyes. Hey, does Fred ever tease you about those big eye glasses you had? LOL..

  56. What a cute little munchkin she was, and what a lovely young woman she has become. Happy Sweet 16 to you, Spud!!
    P.S. Robin, it is hysterical to see you withn all that big 80’s hair! I know we ALL had it back then, but Hee! :^P

  58. A wonderful entry..I bet the Spud would be so happy to see it! It’s so touching to see the pictures of her “growing up”.It was also so COOL to see you as a pregnant mama to be!
    She’s a beautiful girl..and seems to be very sweet! Happy Birthday!!

  59. What a beautiful entry. She was a super cute baby! She’s even smiling in her hospital picture?!?! I LURVE that first school photo of her, with the silky hair 🙂
    Happy Birthday D.!

  62. OMG! I am at work and here I am boohooing all over the place! Mine turned 16 last year. They grow up so fast! *Shakes head sadly*

  64. Happy birthday, D.! You are just beautiful…I can’t believe you’re 16! You have a wonderful mommy, you lucky girl! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Hope your day was great.

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