I scanned it at an absolutely huge resolution, and I’m going to have it printed out, and frame it along with another picture I scanned:
Gram, my mother, and my uncle.
I think I’m going to have that one printed out, too. In fact, I think that next time I go to Maine, I’m going to take an evening and scan all the old pictures so that I can have copies of them made and put into an album.
I learned things about my grandmother I didn’t know – for instance, she wanted to be a teacher, and even had two years of college. I had NO idea she’d gone to college. Her brother was supporting her so that she could attend college, but he got married and could no longer support her, so she had to drop out and get a job.
My grandmother specifically told my mother, many times, that she didn’t want a funeral because “I don’t want people standing around staring at my dead body”. When my mother made the phone calls on Saturday morning to tell people that my grandmother had passed, and that there would be no funeral or service, some of my grandmother’s old friends were VERY disapproving. One of them even called my mother a few days later to say “It’s just not right that there’s no service. There’s no closure!”
My mother hung up the phone and said “If she wanted closure so bad, maybe she should have shown up at the nursing home to see her!”
Oddly, not ten minutes before the phone rang, my mother had been discussing the possibility of having a small family service graveside at some point in the future.
My grandmother was cremated, and part of her ashes are going to be buried in the family plot at a cemetery in Brunswick. The rest of her ashes were returned to my mother Friday afternoon for scattering. My mother, Debbie, and I went to several places that meant a lot to my grandmother and scattered some of the ashes. We used a shot glass (heh) to scoop the ashes out of the bag – I should say
I used a shot glass to scoop out the ashes. At one point I had ashes all over my hands and in a few spots on the front of my black pants, and I thought “Some people would be freaked out at the thought of having the ashes of their beloved grandmother all over them, I bet.” Not me, though. Maybe I just don’t freak easily.
We didn’t scatter all of the ashes. Some of them we put in a small container for the spud, who decided she wanted some of the ashes. Why? I have no clue what the child wants to do with them. All I know is that my grandmother’s ashes are NOT going to end up buried in the back yard next to Tubby – that I can guarantee you. The rest of the ashes, my mother kept. She wants to scatter them in the yard of the home where my grandmother grew up, once she finds out for sure which house it is.
I should point out that when we scattered ashes on Friday afternoon, we didn’t take the silly step of asking people whether they minded having ashes scattered on their lawn. No, what actually happened is that my mother pulled into the driveway of the home where my grandparents spent 30ish years, I hopped out of the car, walked onto the lawn, and flung the ashes from the shotglass so that they scattered everywhere, got back into the car, and we took off for the next location. It was an undercover mission – Operation Scatter Gram.
Luckily no one reported us for scattering an unknown whitish substance all over their lawn…
* * *
Flying on September 11th was a little creepy, I’ll admit. But there’s a bit of an upside – no one wants to fly on September 11th. Which means that on all three of my flights, the planes were less than half full. Which means that instead of being crammed in next to a stranger for the 2 hour and 43 minute flight from Newark to Memphis, I had a row of seats to myself.
I suspect that as time goes by more people will be willing to fly on that date, though.
I finished (and abandoned) two books in the eight hours between the time I left Portland and arrived in Huntsville.
As always, Miz Poo was thrilled right out of her little mind to see me, and it was very nice to get home.
* * *
When I got home I checked my gmail account – I actually have two gmail accounts, isn’t that sickening? One for regular email, one for nothing but notify email – to find that I have 350+ emails from blogs and journals that updated while I was gone.
I’m not complaining, believe me. It’s probably going to take me the better part of the week to get caught up. The cool thing about not having easy computer access (or, I guess I should say, easy computer access ON A DIAL-UP CONNECTION) is that once I get home, I have a ton of journal and blog posts to get caught up on, and a ton of TV viewing to get caught up on as well. Not to mention that since I’m hardly ever on the computer while I’m in Maine, I get a lot of reading done.
Of course, I would have preferred a happier reason to go to Maine, that’s for sure.
* * *
The stitches come out this afternoon!
* * *
Previously
2003: No entry.
2002: I think he has a camera hidden somewhere in the bathroom, and when I’m in the shower, an alarm goes off and tells him to call me immediately.
2001: Time to go cold turkey, Deb…
2000: WHEN WILL THE SUFFERING END???]]>
Operation Scatter Gram? I almost peed my pants laughing.
Thank god for humor during times like that, tho!
It’s amazing how little we know about the lives of our parents and grandparents before we were born. It wasn’t until my dad’s funeral that we discovered he’d been in the Navy Reserve. We all knew he’d been in the Air Force but had never known this other bit until we found a picture in his stuff and did some asking. His brother told a story of my dad having been there for a year and quitting to join the Air Force when the Navy demanded he take a swimming test. My dad was deathly afraid of water. To me, learning that new thing about my dad was extra special, like a bonus. All my happiest wishes for you and your family while you grieve. How lucky your grandmother was to be well loved.
Just be sure not to mail gram to anyone… That powdery white substance probably would be pretty popular! lol
Ohhh Robyn, I’m so glad you’re back safe and sound!
I’m also glad you learned some really neat stuff about your Gram. =o)
Poor Miz Poo. First with her pirate eye thing, then her mommy leaves her alone with Fred and all the boy cats and then she gets her stitches out to reveal, red goopy eye. What’s a poor princess kitty to do?
Wobin!!!!! We’ve missed you!!!
Your Gram was so beautiful! That picture of her in your grandfather’s lap is priceless. Operation Scatter Gram? Great! I laughed out loud. Welcome back.
I’m totally with you on calling that one woman an old battle axe. The wishes of the deceased should be respected. If people want a gathering, that’s their business. I fully understand your grandmother’s wishes and I’m so glad that they were honored. Take care, Robyn.
I’m glad that your trip to Maine was peaceful and full of good memories. It sounds like your gram was remembered and celebrated just the way she wanted to be.
Those pictures are lovely. Tracy is going to steal them.
Hey, we got married at the end of October, too – the 25th. Kinda strange all our anniversaries being the same week, huh?
Oh, and we got crap from my mom’s friends (well, one anyway) about not having a service. The same friend who wouldn’t bother to go check on her when I called worried because she was so sick. Some people suck.
Kalli stole my post! Out loud I exclaimed, “Operation Scatter Gram!?!” You’re too much…even in grief striving to keep us laughing. Oh, Robyn, you are special indeed!
I hope that’s what they do with me. (Actually, my kids are instructed to leave some of me right outside the entrance to Epcot.) And your pictures are wonderful; I have similar ones of my parents and in-laws. An interesting peak into their pre-us lives, isn’t it? Anyway, sounds a lot like closure to me.
Operation Scatter Gram got me laughing out loud. Wish I had been there.
I am glad you are back with us and kept your sense of humor!
Scatter Gram…bwah!! Those pics are priceless too!!
Hi Robyn,
I’m a reader of yours (although somewhat silent!).Just wanted to give you my condolences. I too, just had a grandmother pass away. We’re having no visition for her either which is also a foreign concept to me. She also died at her house and I never have once had that scenario play out where you visit someone at a house after they’ve passed. I’ve always visited people at the hospital or funeral home once they’ve passed. My gram too, is getting cremated although we’re burying her remains I believe. No operation scatter grandma’s ashes (too funny! Great that you can see the humour in the situation!). We have a memorial service this week. It’s an odd thing but she was suffering so long with illness and alzheimers…that really it’s a blessing for us.
All the best,
LLL
Welcome back!
Hooray for Miz Poo that her stitches will be out soon!
Glad you’re back!
The ashes are cool. I have some of my mother’s in the china cabinet. “She” eats dinner with us every night! Yes, Robyn, some of us are almost as strange as you!
Love the photos. Gram has a vibrancy that leaps from the photos; I am glad you had a great Gram.
Hey Robyn, welcome back..
Let me know what you think of the book Fried Green Tomatoes cause I have to say that is one case where I loved the movie and hated the book. Probably should have read the book first, who knows. I’m curious to hear what you thought.
Cheers!
Glad your back. I agree with your Gram about visitations and funerals. I’m only 38 but I decided long ago. No wake or visitation – ick people staring at me – and cremation. Operation Scatter Gram is too funny and the ashes all over yourself! Just think, you were carrying Gram around with you for a while.
We missed you and glad your back.
PS – I just LOVE this month’s logo. Those cats with hats ROCK! Of course, only with the magic of computers. Could you imagine trying to get the cats to put up with HATS for a nanosecond!
Val
It sounds like your grandmother was a lovely lady, and those pictures are beautiful. If you’re interested, I can use Photoshop to fix the scratches in the last one if you email me a high resolution copy.
Goodness! What a long hard week you had in Maine…although it’s great to hear you learned out so much about your Gram (and grandfather.) I too have spread ashes already TWICE in my 33 years-first with the death of my mother when I was 18. That was really weird. Then we kept the urn around FOREVER, and hopefully I’ve pawned it off on my brother by now. Second, when I was 22 and my first baby died (when I was 7 months pregnant.) You describing the ashes on your hands and pants brought back some vivid memories. It’s hard at the time, but gives you a good feeling after the fact. Take care!
Pirate Cat~Argghhhh!!!!!!!!!