* * *
“Baby,” I said. “I am at a complete loss. I have NO idea what to get you for Father’s Day.”
“Oh, you don’t need to get me anything!” Fred said, shaking his head earnestly.
“Well, I was thinking that maybe you could go get a massage, and we’d call it your Father’s Day present!”
A considering gleam came to his eye and he thought for a moment.
“How about a massage… and a cake from Peggy Ann’s Bakery!” he said.
“Yeah!” We really REALLY like the cakes from Peggy Ann’s, and I’m no fool – I was NOT about to argue with that idea. “We can get yellow roses on it this time!”
That night, while we were laying in bed, I picked up the phone.
“Who are you calling?” Fred asked. I held up the shushing finger, and he said “Oh. Are you calling me?”
“Hey,” I said, “Don’t forget to call Peggy Ann and order the cake. And make sure they don’t put any cheese on it. Love you!”
Teasing him about his dislike for cheese on a salad just never gets old. And yes, I made him call in the order for his own Father’s Day cake. I also made him call it in for his birthday. I probably haven’t mentioned it before, but I HATE talking on the phone.
This morning, Fred called me at least three times before 9:30.
“When are you going to go get the cake?” he asked. “Go get the cake!”
“STOP HARASSING ME!” I snapped. “You won’t be able to eat any of it until you get home this afternoon, so what’s the difference?”
“I just want you to go pick it up,” he said in a small voice.
“OKAY, I’m going! I’m going to the post office, and then I’ll get your damn cake. GEEZ!”
After a stop at the post office and a stop to fill up my gas tank ($1.92 a gallon for the cheap stuff), I made the arduous journey to South Huntsville. It took about half an hour.
“Hi!” the sales clerk chirped as I stepped through the door. “Can I help you?”
“Yeah, I’m picking up a cake for And3rson,” I said.
While she looked through the cake boxes, I glanced around at all the goodies on display, especially the smiley-face cookies. They had little pieces of fudge in a cup for customers to take, so I ate one, and then swooned. Fudge as good as in Gatlinburg!
I looked up in time to see the sales clerk lift the top of the box, look at the cake, and then give me an odd look.
Huh, I thought. I wonder if there’s a problem with the cake.
She turned the cake toward me, and I stared down at it, waiting for what I saw to make sense. When I realized what it said, my face turned an instant bright red and I giggled stupidly.
“Heh. Yeah. Looks good!” I said, paid as quickly as I could, grabbed the cake box, and beat a hasty retreat.
In the car, I called Fred from my cell phone. “You are such a shithead!”
All I heard on the other end was laughter.
And out the upstairs window.
Displeased.
They’re digging on the other side of our fence to put in a culvert. This pleases us, because then there won’t be that big, scary ditch there, and Fred can actually mow or weed-eat back there instead of leaving it so that it gets all ratty and overgrown.
And on the plus side, the next time someone’s being an assmonkey on the road, loses control of his car, and swerves over toward our back yard, rather than hitting the ditch and flying up into the air, he’ll drive across the flat part where the ditch used to be, come through our fence, and probably still have enough momentum to keep going straight through our living room. Fun!
(THAT would certainly be something worth doing an entry about, eh?)
Meester Boogers tries to help Miz Poo escape from the box.
Licklicklicklick.
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Okay, freaky.
Doot-doot-doot, lookin’ out my back door:
Just this very morning I was complaining to my girlfriend that I had that song (just this line) stuck in my head and couldn’t get it out. I finally did, and then I read your entry and here it is!
Augh! 🙂
You know, it’s the weirdest thing, but no matter how many times Lena goes to the vet and has something unpleasant done to her, she still loves the cat carrier. All I have to do is bring it up from the basement and set it on the kitchen table and she climbs right in. (Getting her out of there at the vet is another story, though…)
Love the cake, Robyn! ROTFLMAO!
I finished The Crimson Petal and The White not too long ago, I loved it! And at 1000 or so pages, it makes a nice paper weight 😉
OMFG! That cake is SO something like what I’d do to my husband. I LOVE it!
GOD that cake is hysterical!! You guys definitely have what my family calls “the Q gene” sense of humor…(whatever THAT means! LOL!)and you couldn’t be cuter. Thanks for the laughs, Robyn…have a great weekend! 🙂
Where did you get the collapsable cat carrier? I need to get one for my mom, well, not *for* her, but you know. Whatever. She has 2 cats and needs a carrier but doesn’t have a collapsable one.
Everyone else seems to be saying this too, but I’ll chime in anyway…I LOVE the fact that you guys have such a sense of humor about life! The cake is definitely something that my husband or I would do to each other and get laughs out of it for YEARS! Number one thing I find attractive in a mate…sense of humor, baby!
Man, I wish we had your gas prices here in Seattle! I paid $2.29 for the cheap stuff yesterday. Gotta love this state.
Oh my GOD, that cake was the best! You guys crack my shit up.
Ha,Renate ! We pay $2.44 a gallon for the cheap gas here in Nor Cal.
Robyn, did you see ABC’s Extreme House Makeover where they fixed up the house that had been crashed into by a car/or truck ?? The coolest thing they did for the family was to put in retractable cement barriers that protected the front of the house. How good is Fred at masonry?
What? You did not feel the urge to explain the cake to the bakery clerk? Oh Yeah I forgot – that’s Sir Fred who does that. . . I bet HE explained the story to the clerk when he called. Too Funny!! I have to take my kitties to the vet tomorrow (if I can get an apt). I know the pain. . .
Damn I read Fred’s first..but I still laughed my ass off at your version of the story.
Hey, BTW, I remembered to vote for you and Jane today! I didn’t see Fred on there? Did I miss it?
Kay: He’s listed under Best Account of a Public or News Event! (And thanks for your vote. 🙂
rundmc: He’s no mason-er (?), but I’m sure he could teach himself! 🙂
Roseann: We got it when we adopted either Miz Poo or Tubby, but I’ve seen them at either PetSmart or PetCo; they’re so much easier to get the cats into than the side-load plastic carriers, that’s for sure!
Stacey: Miz Poo, Spot, and Spanky all run when they see the cat carrier, but Stanley will jump right in. I guess he just hasn’t learned yet!
I got both of your notifies so I’ve been here , then there and now back here. You two have just made my day 🙂 As usual.
I asked him but will ask you too. Is the cake icing based on shortening or whipped cream?
It’s based on shortening – Fred dropped a piece of cake on the floor, frosting-side-down, and I don’t think the greasiness is ever going to come up!
The cake – best laugh I’ve had all week. Loved it! Oh that Fred.
Fred is a COMIC GENIUS.
That cake. Oh my god.
I just laughed so hard I nearly peed.
Get Well Miz Poo!
Gas prices are high here too
Robyn don’t EVER move to Fla especially Orlando/WPB south because one day here and your head will explode!
Love the cake ROF!
I Love the cake! I actually laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee!
If you guys make a tshirt,”I like cheese,just not on my salad”,I’ll buy one!
Hey that reminds me,my Allure mag has a bumper sticker in it the past two issues in which it says,” I “heart”…You are to write whatever it is that you love after the heart. Hmmm I think I’m gonna steal Fred’s tagline!
Cheese! Oops I mean CHEERS!
You guys are soo funny!!! Ilike cheese but not on salads!! Heh heh heh
HA, I love that cake.
Fred rocks.
Awww that is so sweet what he did lol. You should have known it was coming with all his phone calls lol
You’ve talked about your fatty liver. Do you have any symptoms, and is a fatty liver a really bad things to have?