episode of Friends, where they’re playing the game that ultimately ends with the guys winning Monica and Rachael’s apartment. The question “What is Chandler Bing’s job?” comes up, and the girls say:
Monica: It’s umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, he’s a transponce – transpondster!
It’s just a good thing the air traffic controller didn’t start talking about the plane’s phalanges.
* * *
So, remember the mole I had removed from my stomach, and then the spot where the mole had been got infected? Despite being on antibiotics for a week and putting antibiotic cream on it, it didn’t really get better. In fact, it got worse. Naturally it did most of the getting worse while we were in Gatlinburg. It was continuing to drain and seemed to get bigger. I watched it to see if it would start putting out the red streaks or start hurting, neither of which it did. Since I had an appointment at 8 this morning to have the stitches removed, I just kept putting cream and a band-aid on it and taking my antibiotics.
This morning when I got out of the shower I looked down at the spot where the mole had been removed, and messed with the stitches, making sure they were sticking up enough so that the doctor could remove them. Then I dried off, combed my hair, and grabbed a band-aid to put over the spot.
The stitches were gone.
“Wha?” I said. I poked around the spot a little to see if maybe the stitches had sunken below the puss-y looking area in the middle. Then I glanced over at the floor in front of the shower, and saw the little piece of thread that had comprised one of the stitches sitting there, still knotted. Apparently drying myself had pulled the stitches out without me even realizing it.
When I got to the doctor’s office, I explained what had happened to the doctor (not my usual doctor; she doesn’t work on Monday and Tuesday) who was to remove my stitches. She took a good long look at the spot on my stomach, said she had a plan, and proceeded to remove the stitches from the spot on my back (which did NOT get infected, thankyajeezus). Then she had me lay back, and put
silver nitrate on the spot on my stomach to cauterize it, so that it could heal from the bottom up. She said it might burn, but I didn’t feel a damn thing, although now – an hour later – it’s itching like hell. AGH! Make it stop!
Anyway, it’ll take a couple of weeks to completely heal, but in the meantime I’ll be supporting the band-aid industry by putting antibiotic cream and a band-aid on the area three times a day. I’m just glad that this didn’t happen with the spot where the mole was removed from my back, because I can’t quite reach that spot, so it would have been a matter of driving to Fred’s office during the day so he could change the band-aid for me. That would be NOT FUN, I think.
(Also, no word yet from the lab tests on the moles I had removed. She’s going to have her nurse call the lab and yell at them, so I should be hearing something in the next few days.)
* * *
Apparently everyone wants to know about my Seasonale experiences thus far, so here it is: My first two months on the Seasonale were just fine. At the end of month two, I accidentally skipped a pill (because I’m a dumbass), which seemed to be the trigger for a month of
breakthrough bleeding. At the end of the month (month three), it was time to take a week off from taking the pill (I don’t bother with the placebo pills), so I did, and had a fairly normal period. The Sunday following that, I started up on the pill again. My period ended, and almost two weeks later I haven’t had any breakthrough bleeding (yet!).
I said when I started taking the Seasonale that it was going to take my body time to adjust, and I wasn’t going to give up unless I’d been taking it for a year and was still having problems. I was on the regular pill for eight years before this year, my body had adjusted to that schedule, and switching to a schedule where I only have my period every three months is surely something that it’ll take time for my body to adjust to.
I’ll give y’all a final report on whether it works for me when it’s been a year.
* * *
From my comments:
Hi Robyn. I’m a long time reader (well a couple of years anyway). My family and I will be in Gatlinburg this weekend to. My two year old daughter and my pregnant self will be strolling the streets with Mamaw and Papaw (hopefully I won’t pass out from the awful heat we have been having). Do you ever wonder if you might run into one of your readers some day! Don’t worry, I’m not a stalker or anything, so if I see you and Fred I’ll just smile and be on my merry way!! 🙂
Did you see us? What were we doing? Oh no, don’t answer that – I was sweating my ass off, and Fred was carrying all the bags. Heh.
Hey Robyn, here’s a question you might wanna answer someday in an entry: when you say “slap up an entry,” how much time are you really talking about putting into creating one? I’m curious to know what’s the longest amount of time you ever spent on 1 entry, and the shortest amount of time.
It depends – if it’s 1:15 and I’m hungry, I can get an entry done in about 30 minutes, and about five of those minutes are spent putting the links at the bottom of the page. The longest I’ve ever spent on an entry would probably be
this one, which took me two days to write, because the original entry was a lot more pissed-off sounding than the finished entry. I had to do an awful lot of editing. On the average, though, because I almost never sit down and just write an entry – I’m always distracted by email, cats, shiny things – I’d say it takes about an hour.
(Hard to believe, eh?)
Your Gatlinburg trip sounded wonderful! My sister and I are going down there to do some hiking in a couple of weeks, and I wondered if the cicadas had invaded Gatlinburg.
As far as I know, I didn’t see any cicadas. But then, I’m not quite sure what they look like. In any case, the streets weren’t littered with dead bugs, so I’m going to say that the cicada invasion hasn’t hit Gatlinburg.
Yer killing me! No review posted for Crow Lake yet? Put me outta my misery, I’m dying to know how many stars.. or square thingamajiggys..
(That comment is from the wonderful Adena who asked me if I’d read the book yet – I hadn’t, so I put it on my wish list, and then she went and bought it for me! Adena rocks.) I absolutely loved it, and I
rated it 5 Poos! Thanks again for recommending it and then buying it for me; I had never heard of it before you mentioned it, and it was a total gem of a book – I enjoyed every word of it.
Don’t know if your pharmacist told you this or maybe you already know but some antibiotics can mess with your birth control and since you guys are going to be doing the nudist thing while spud is away I thought I would remind.
People. Nudity does not NECESSARILY lead to sex. Get your minds out of the gutters. Heh.
I think the airlines are NUTS. They shouldn’t charge (IMO) parents who want to take their minor kids to the gate, I mean you cant go anywhere w/o a ticket anyway, whats wrong with a free pass? I just called my dad, my mom took my grandma to her gate several times and they never charged her. Oh well.
No, they didn’t charge me the $75 to acompany her to the gate – they charged me the $75 so that when she landed in Atlanta a flight attendant would take her from the gate she landed at to the gate her flight to OC was leaving from, so she wouldn’t get lost and spend the rest of her life wandering around the airport. $75 is SO worth it for the peace of mind, knowing that someone will make sure she gets to her gate okay. My pass to accompany her to the gate she left from at the Huntsville airport didn’t cost me anything.
Didn’t you write recently about an Experience you had with Pizza Hut’s buffalo chicken pizza? Cause I think I had that same experience. What the hell is in that pizza?
No, it was
Alicia and
Nance who tried the buffalo chicken pizza and suffered from it. I did say that I still wanted to give it a try, but I’ve since changed my mind. The funny thing is that when we were in Gatlinburg, Fred wanted to order the buffalo chicken pizza, and I wouldn’t let him. Because who wants to be sick while they’re on vacation?
I have a question as well: I’m not a native English speaker, so I am wondering what the word “Spud” means?
“Spud” is slang for “potato.” Heh.
So, you say that Spanky is your ‘special’ kitty… what makes him not the brightest bulb in the pack? I must’ve missed it somewhere!
Everything scares him. EVERYTHING. I’ve watched him see a spot of sunlight on the floor and get freaked out by it. Also, when he sits and stares into space, you can just tell there’s nothing going on in there. Of course, we love him to death, dumb or not.
Ok….why couldn’t you drop Fred’s ass (and his fucked up leg!) off at the door of the auditorium?
I could have dropped Fred’s ass off at the door of the auditorium the night of the spud’s (last!) band concert, but it really is quite a hike even from the door, so I decided to be the wonderful person I am and give up the fight. Now I have something to hold over his head for all of eternity. When I’m 93 and he won’t go get me a Diet Coke, I can say “Okay, that’s fine. EVEN THOUGH I didn’t make you go to the spud’s last band concert, you bastard!”
* * *
I went to the pet store to feed the cats yesterday. After I had pressed the buzzer so that someone would come and let me in, I looked to the side of the door and realized that there was a carrier sitting there. And then a cat peeked out at me.
When one of the guys who works at the store came to let me in, I pointed and said “Did you know there’s a carrier over there with a cat in it?” He hadn’t known, of course, and went out to pick it up. Later, he came and got the number to the cat shelter from me. I expect once the cat is medically cleared and neutered or spayed, I’ll be seeing it at the pet store.
Poor kitty, it looked absolutely terrified. I’d go on a rant here about people who are assholes and abandon their pets, but I’m actually kind of glad that whoever left the cat there did that instead of taking it out into the country and dumping it alongside the road.
But still. Poor kitty!
Pet store pictures are
here.
* * *
“I am NOT stupid. YOU’RE stupid. Bitch. Stop calling me stupid, or I’ll come steal your breath while you’re sleeping…”]]>
Hi Robyn:
Hope your Gatlinburg trip was fun. I can’t BELIEVE you guys actually got to fly! How cool is that! I had to drive myself and my 2 year old almost 5 hours to get there! You lucky dogs! I was the reader who was also in Gatlinburg this past weekend. We didn’t see you, but I did think of you when we saw the Smiley Face store! I told my mother, I bet Robyn has invaded that store many times!! I can’t believe they have an entire store of just smiley face stuff! Of course, Gatlinburg has almost every cheesey/cool store ever. Anyway, glad to hear you guys had a great time. Too bad I didn’t run into you. I wouldn’t have wanted to give you a fright anyway. 🙂 Take care and keep up your awesome journal!
I am in love with Arianna and her little face!
She reminds me of the Poo a bit.
Sounds like a cool trip you had there. With gas prices today flying is the way to go! (when you can go round trip two people for $100 bucks!) Even with the rental car it was still worth it for the extra time!
Hi Robyn! I’m so glad you guys didn’t see any cicadas! I think you would have noticed if they were there- they are big and ugly and all OVER my neighborhood in Kentucky. If anyone wants to know what they look like, check out the May 31 entry on my site: http://www.selfpassage.com.
There is NOTHING less scarier than a kitten trying to be a badass…but I don’t think there is anything funnier either. Those silver tabbies are adorable!
My husband and I were commenting the other day about our cat Daisy is easily the most selt entertaining cat we have ever known. She will find a bottle cap, or the plastic ring from the milk and literally play with it by herself for 20 full minutes.
Man, I love cats!
I want Dilly! Waaaaaaaaahhhh!
But the Mr. Bear hates cats. He thinks if they had thumbs and could work the can opener they’d kill us in our sleep.
Plus there’s Len the original ™ cranky old man super.
So not so much on the cats.
I hear what you’re saying about people dumping animals on the side of the road. I had to abandon my evening walks along our country road, too many times I ended up finding shopping bags of 3 day old kittens or better yet boxes of mama cats with their month old kittens. Those people should be shot.. no wait, that’s too good for them!
Believe me, you don’t have to SEE cicadas to know they are there–hearing them will tell the tale. They are deafening little bitches so it sounds like Gatlinburg was spared.
Poor abandoned kitty. I went to visit my parents farm last week and my nephews were playing with a kitty who just wandered in one day. What a sweet cat and very pretty too. Makes me wonder what kind of person would abandon a pet like that.
So cool – Mama Doe and her little bitty fawn just ran across the lawn and into the woods as I typed this. Not something you see every day!
OMG, I love seeing the pet store kitties. Crack me up that someone named the tabby kittens after two of the Queer Eye guys.
i love your site and i’m always reading, but i stopped looking at the pet store kitties some time ago because it made me sad and i want to adopt all of the kitties. i wonder, is the pet store you work at no-kill and/or what happens to the kitties who aren’t adopted?
Just wanted to report that I had the Jessica Simpson pizza (buffalo wing) this weekend, and it was tres delicious (if a bit HOT) and I didn’t even suffer so much as heartburn. Yummy! It definitely needs the ranch sauce (which is FAT FREE! can ya belive it?? from Pizza Hell?? get out!) You are SO right about it being better to abandon your pets at the shelter or pet store than the horrible places some people leave them. At the humane society, we even had a nighttime dropoff area, with a gate that latched, but not locked. We got most of our abandoned pets there. It had blankets, fresh water and dry food. We would thank people for bringing pets in, rather than let them become feral, diseased, killed by cars and other pets, or human cruelty. Even if they had to be “put down” it was better than abandoning them to suffer until they died. Oh, and bless you! for working with these cats! WHat a wonderful thing you do 🙂
GREAT kitty pics! I can’t believe that anyone wouldn’t get a kitty at the shelter. I have 3 cats and all mine are sob stories from the shelter: One was found in a dumpster as a newborn, one was in a box beside the highway and the third was left in an apartment.
People are freaks. I mush prefer my animals to people!
I just wanted to say how much I admired your “fuck ’em” attitude in the June 4, 2001 entry you linked to in your entry today. I’ve been feeling pretty unmotivated lately and backsliding a bit with some weight I lost recently. I don’t give up easily either though…I’ll remember how hard it is for you too when I haul my ass out of bed tomorrow morning before work. Thanks for the reminder of what it takes and some motivation/inspiration.
Oh Robyn, I think I’ve been reading your site for too long. Last night I dreamt that you and Fred took my son with you to Gatlinburg, and I was very worried about him being on such a small plane. Not worried about him going on vacation with people I don’t know, no, worried about a plane. He had fun though, becuase you let him play Gameboy the entire flight. Um, okay.
Clearly, I have lost my mind.
Hey, not to make your head hurt or anything, or make you think about me using sex toys with your brother, but thanks for the link to MyPleasure.com. I’m going shopping now. Heh!