* * * I hate my house. I hate the way all the doors are white and need to be scrubbed down because weird little stains develop at knee level and below and there’s just nothing in this world I want to do less than scrub DOORS, I hate the way if you think about brushing up against the wall a mark develops, I loathe the carpet on the stairs and the assholes who looked at this house before we bought it and tromped up the stairs and got mud on the carpet on the stairs in odd places, mud stains that I have been unable to get out lo these 2 1/2 years, I hate the way dust bunnies generate themselves in the corners of rooms and hallways, and then instantly regenerate, taunting me as they wave gently in the breeze, hate the spiders who create webs and then abandon them with shells of bodies still caught in the webs, and if I find a spider who has abandoned his crappy-looking web, I will smush without a second thought, I hate the way I manage to pile crap everywhere so that the house looks all cluttered, I hate the way three days after I’ve mopped the downstairs there are kitty paw prints on every exposed inch of the library floor. HATE. I hate my hair because I have to go to the friggin’ hair place every six weeks and have it colored and cut, otherwise I walk around with half-gray, half-colored hair that gets in my face, and I can’t stand that, and the chick who cuts my hair is perfectly nice but I hate the whole hair-coloring process because I hate sitting there in the chair for hours at a time with stinky shit on my head, trying to read my book, but wanting to fall asleep. Why is it that I always get so friggin’ tired when I have my hair done? I hate the spud’s school because their web site sucks and all I want to know is where the fuck I’m supposed to go for the parents-of-9th-graders orientation Thursday night, and there’s nothing anywhere about that, and it pisses me off. I hate my neighbors because why on earth would it not OCCUR to a grown man that running his damn sander in his garage WITH THE DOOR WIDE OPEN might wake people up who prefer not to be awake at 11:30 pm? And it pisses me off that it relieved us that when Fred went to talk to him the other night, the guy was both nice and apologetic. You’re goddamned right he should be apologetic, he should beg forgiveness! HATE. And damn that spud and her eyeballs which get more nearsighted every year, requiring new glasses and DAMN the eyeglass place where it still cost ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE DOLLARS to get new lenses in the same frames. ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE DOLLARS, what the fucking fuck is up with that? Do little kids in sweat factories have to create the lenses with their teeth and nails, or what? Are they made of GOLD? JAYZUS.
The mighty hunter stops to chomp on a healthy snack of green weeds, keeping his coat shiny and his eyes bright.
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Robyn,
Just because I adore you, I am going to plan the rest of your day for you. Call Fred and tell him what you want for lunch and that it should be waiting for you when you get home from your walk. Then take a nice long walk. While you are eating Fred is to draw you a nice bath. After lunch he should clean house while you relax. Then he should wait on you hand and foot until your mood improves.
Uh-oh. You’re gonna get linked by the Disgruntled Canadian Lesbian if you keep up this hate talk, Missy! Hee.
I suggest a nice hot bath in a tub full of something that smells good and a little drink called a Cosmopolitan. Guaranteed to cure the hatin’ syndrome.
PMSing, YA THINK?????? Down here in the south, we also call it FTS….fixin to start!!!
Is anyone else frightened????
Imagine I sound like Karen from ‘Will & Grace’:
Honey… breathe.
There. Now doesn’t that feel better?
Thanks for the Survivor reminder! Very cool kitty picture.
I’m rethinking the Seasonale.
:::choking back laughter:: Stand by your man? :::snorting:: :::running away::::
would it piss you off more if I told you your “PMS” amuses me? (bitch-slapping self now)
Well, you may hate, but I LOVE you for posting that reminder about Survivor. I’ve also gotta rememeber to catch the “never before seen clips” on “The Apprentice.” (Also being shown on an off nite.) mmmmm must be college hoops time.
Your daughter’s glasses cost *WHAT* to replace just the lenses?!?!
That’s absolutely ridiculous. I live in the so-called cold land of Canada, and it only costs around 60 CAD to replace the lenses in a pair of glasses.. So i really have to wonder what’s up with the price your daughter’s lenses are costing to replace. I would certainly hope that she either has special lenses or little kids in sweat factories really are creating the lenses with their teeth and nails :O
Can I come and sing with you at three a.m.?
A mood like that can only be helped by throwing yourself a PITY PARTY!! Yup, you need chocolate (lots of it), Coke (gallons of it), bubble bath, nice smelling candles, your fav MP3’s and a good book. Go get in that neato keano bath tub of yours and turn up the music and turn off the rest of the world!
*backing out of this journal quietly*
Hey, you should call your mom! Heh.
Feelings…wo wo wo feelings…Me thinks the journal is called Bitchypoo for a reason! I’m glad I’m not the only one who can feel such HATE at times for the irritating mundane crap that is our lives. This too shall pass, but check on Seasonale to see if major PMS is a side effect. A girl should not suffer so. And don’t eat any cabbage today, that is bound to upset you yet some more!
Robyn – Me thinks you need some chocolate and a good book!!!!!!!!!!!
Robyn I am all aghast! I have never seen you this way! 🙂 HEHEHEHEHEH! (ok I slapped myself)
Today’s entry sure made me proud to be a woman. And glad to know that someone else has those days too!
Get some Calgon and some chocolate and a good book, shove all the cats and humans out the pet door and… breathe….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!
Ah fuck that, I HATE when someone tells me to breathe when I am feeling all bitchy and hormonal. (slapped myself again)
You know, those Mr. Clean Erasers are the most awesome thing in the whole world!!! Well, maybe I exaggerate a tad… but, if you used them you may just begin to LOVE your white doors and baseboards.
Thanks for the Survivor update – I completely forgot!!! Yikes, that would have been bad!
Here’s an amen on the Mister Clean Magic Eraser. I just finished using it on just such marks, all over my white walls and doors. Do it. Marks cower before its magic cleaning powers.
thank you thank you thank you for the survivor reminder!!!! i (and everyone i know, it seems) had completely forgotten that it was on tonight! i would have cried if i had missed it.
Just have to say thanks for a good hard laugh. I love when other people go off on tangents, it always makes me laugh, I don’t know why. Maybe ’cause I go off on them myself so often, too. It’s during one of them that I have the ability to create new swear words.
In my house, we call this state of affairs “bitter and pus-filled.”
I don’t know if we can get Seasonale in Canada, but I only have a period about every three or four months anyway, so defeats the purpose. My doctor doesn’t seem to be that concerned about it- I don’t have the bloodwork to indicate I have PCOS (and I have had every damn bloodtest under the sun, including a DNA test for chronic leukemia, trust me, I’m healthy as a horse, I just have a few too many white blood cells- as Her Bitchiness would say, “Close your mail client!”).
I’ll chime in as another fan of the Mr. Clean thingys. I sent away for a free one in the mail a couple of months ago when they first started pimping them on TV- it just came today. I’ve already been through two and a half of them. They are excellent for removing stains from 30-year-old formica countertops. If anything falls on these counters, it stains (I think they used something harsh on it after the last tenant or just the age makes it very very porous) and Mr. Clean fixed it right up.
I’m being a dumbass, because I have about 40 things I need to do before I go to Edmonton tomorrow afternoon to see my Mommy. Laundry. Return DVDs. Get eyebrows done at Punjabi market. Buy bagels for the helpless spouse who will be on his own for a week. Well, laundry anyway.
Hahaha – “The mighty hunter stops to chomp on a healthy snack of green weeds, keeping his coat shiny and his eyes bright – and then later proceeds to hock all of that shiny green goodness up on those carpeted stairs Robyn hates so much.”
Sorry. Because I’ve had cats and dogs all my life, I am ever reminded of the results of grass-eating. Ugh. My poor feet cringe at the memory. 🙂
Thanks for the PMS warning. I would have had to call 911 in your city and tell them to go to Robyn’s house – she’s having a meltdown. Take your bath and eat anything you want.
In Robyn’s honor: I hate my cats to forcing me to change their cat food to canned so they stop puking on my new carpet. I hate that I cannot get the stains out even though I purchased the $12 bottle of cleaner from the professional carpet cleaner. I hate this friggin cold that I’d had for two whole weeks. Antibotics won’t help it go away; it’s viral. I do love the killer cough medicine the doctor prescribed today that makes me pass out for 3 to 4 hours. Off to take more of it.
Val
I do so hate that I read your blog at night…I missed Survivor last week cause my D@&#$*$(%$)%&$& tape didn’t start like it was supposed to, and this week I missed it tonight cause I am a F#&%*%()#* IDIOT!!! Damn. Just not my two weeks. This sucks. now I am depressed and must eat lots of chocolate to keep from sinking into oblivion.
*sigh*
PMS is only one of the side effects of Seasonale — I started on it two months ago, and had a nearly six-week-long visit from my “friend” — right through my anniversary, Valentine’s Day and a week-long trip to Florida!
Went to my gyn when I got back (I was sorta freaked out, seeing as how I just switched over from Depo and hadn’t had a period for the eight years prior) and he (of course it’s a *HE*) said that that was NORMAL for women starting Seasonale. Uh, thanks for warning me?
Happy to say that it’s all better now, and aside water retention bloating, I’m very pleased with it. (As in, I haven’t gotten knocked up yet, so what can I complain about?)