Survivor last night on The Early Show. Then I decided to set up to tape The Ellen Degeneres Show, and decided while I was at it, I’d set up to tape ALL of them, and then the DVR locked up and I couldn’t get it to do anything, and instead of waiting to see if it would un-lock itself, I thought “Hey! I’ll just turn it off and then back on! It works with my computer!”, and so I turned it off and back on, and now? Now I’m getting “No data” at the bottom of the screen now and I can’t record anything, goddamnit.
Just call me a fuckwad.
* * *
You know, there’s a certain time of the month when a gal is a bit – shall we say – gassier than at other times of the month. If she’s eaten pizza on top of it being a naturally gassy time of the month, then the gas that is produced is so toxic that it’s almost visible. For some reason, it is often at bedtime that said gal most often produces said gas, and at “that” time of the month the husband of this completely fictional woman is sometimes forced to run to his own bedroom to defend his nose hairs from being singed off by the stank produced.
But just because the husband of Fictional Woman is tired at 9:30 does not mean that Fictional Woman is tired as well, and perhaps she likes to lay in bed with cats arranged on the bed around her while she reads, occasionally bleeding the valve. The cats, interestingly, are not repelled by the gas, instead they are fascinated and will occasionally sit up and sniff wildly at the clouds of stank wafting gently by their noses.
The fictional child of Fictional Woman often likes to come to the door of Fictional Woman’s bedroom to say goodnight. At “that” time of the month, Fictional Child has been known to stop at the door and make a face.
Fictional Woman looks up from her book. “What?”
“Do you smell that?” Fictional Child says as a cloud of stank floats out the door.
Fictional Woman knows of what Fictional Child is speaking, but believes she can brazen it out. “No, what?” she says.
“It smells like…” Fictional Child sniffs wildly at the air, resembling the wildly sniffing cats more than a little. “POOP!”
“Oh,” Fictional Woman says. “Fred’s been a little gassy tonight.” And then Fictional Woman and Fictional Child share an
Isn’t he DISGUSTING? look, and bid each other goodnight.
* * *
Did you know that squirrels (at least here in the South), when given peanuts, don’t go store them in hollows of trees? That they actually bury them in the YARD? It’s the coolest thing, I swear. We buy peanuts and put them in the back yard under the bird feeders, and yesterday a squirrel spent a good hour burying them in various places in the yard. It was neat to see him start digging a hole and then pick up the peanut, measure the size with his mouth and front paws, and dig some more, put the peanut in the hole, and bury it. Squirrels are awfully neat.
(At least that’s my opinion until one gets in the house…)
* * *
We watched
Extreme Makeover last night, and it was awesome. It was a couple who (I think this is what I heard) met at Overeater’s Anonymous and had each lost over 100 pounds. They both went in for some major surgery and didn’t see each other for 7 weeks, until their WEDDING DAY. They looked amazing, especially
him.
She didn’t look half bad, either – but then, I thought she looked fine before, so what do I know?
I felt sorry for them during the time apart, though – they were obviously both pretty miserable. That just had to suck.
* * *
1. What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done? Packed up my eight year-old daughter and moved to Alabama to live with a man I’d known for only a few months and spent less than two weeks with in person. Crazy!
2. What one thing would you like to try that your mother/friend/significant other would never approve of? Fred’s pretty adventurous, I can’t think of anything I’d want to try he wouldn’t be willing to let me try. Heh.
3. On a scale of 1-10, what’s your risk factor? (1=never take risks, 10=it’s a lifestyle) Probably between a 1 and a 2.
4. What’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you as a result of being bold/risky? The moving-to-Alabama thing worked out really damn well, I’d say.
5. … and what’s the worst? Um. The fact that I live in Alabama, maybe? It’s worth it, though.
* * *
Another series of really good cat pictures, taken by Fred.
Fred giggles like a little girl every time he gets one of these really good pictures, by the way.
Big cat in the little bed…
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wow, miz poo’s teeth look great, don’t laugh, but do you guys brush them or anything? How old is she again?
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who (hypothetically) suffers from raging ass fumes.
Are your cats naturally tired all the time or do you bore them? All they seem to do is YAWN!
Heather – nope, we don’t brush them. She’s 4 years old as of Thanksgiving. Maybe they just haven’t had a chance to get yellow yet. 🙂
Martha – I think that we do just bore them to death. Although, most of the time Fred will wake them up to take pictures, which is how he gets all those yawning pics.
Yes, the guy on Extreme Makeover turned out really well….if you like NASTY LOOKING GIRLY MEN WITH CRAZY EYES , but at any rate, he came out so much better than the girl, who was blah before and was blah-with-makeup-and-big-tits after.
Jane, who the hell does that guy remind me of? It’s driving me nuts! Also, the veneers they insist on putting on everyone’s teeth drive me nuts. They look so obviously fake! (Says she with yellow teeth…)
Those kitty pictures were making me yawn. I guess Bean is getting contagious!
I watched Extreme Makeover too and I thought it was one of the best ones ever! I cried!! They both looked great but like you said, him even more so! HUBBA HUBBA!
I was sad to see Rudy go but I was worried about him this time. I hope his ankle is better 🙂
Wow – that guy from Extreme Makeover does not even look like the same man!!! At first I thought the pictures on the site were mixed up!
I do so love MizPoo pics.
Just a note about the couple being separated. I’m currently living 15 hours away from my boyfriend so that I can go to school, and I can tell you one thing (and you probably understand this) but it really and truly sucks being this far away from the one you love more than anything in the world. Its one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. April cant come soon enough. Fortunately, I get to go home next week for spring break, or I might lose my grip on sanity. 🙂
Hubby says “Girls don’t poop.” If I let one slip by mistake- OH MY GAWD! its the end of the freakin world!
Love the Kitty Love.
Hey Robyn, Just wanted to let you know that I saw a promo last night for a special about CATS that is supposed to come on A&E tonight. Didn’t know if you knew about it. Now you could record it, or rewind it, etc., etc., etc. 🙂
HA! It’s great to know I’m not the only one emitting noxious fumes this week…or that I’m the only one that brags about it in their entry.
Oh wait, that wasn’t you? Nevermind then 😉
Yey!! I love Mizzzz Pooooooooo! Thanks Robyn! I hope you guys made it through that shitty weather last night o.k.
Squirrels are cute, aren’t they? We were up at my gram’s cabin one summer and we watched a squirrel bury nuts like that. Problem was that he had a bluejay following him around and digging that up. I hope he checked his stash before the weather got cold! 🙂
I did that with our DVR at first too. You need to disconnect the powewr plug in the back for 5 minutes, plug it back in and let it cycle through without turning it on.(could take up to 10 minutes to cycle back up) When the time comes up and stays up, you can then use the power button to turn it back on and it should be OK. We need to reboot ours every so often when it begins acting weird. Be careful too that when something is taping that you don’t accidentally hit the power button and turn off the box.
I love too that if you are watching something from the beginning (and haven’t changed channels while watching) you can just hit the record button and it will record it from the beginning. Cool huh? We’ve had ours about 10 months I think and I love it..even when it acts up and I am ready to throw it through the window.
so….fictional woman’s husband’s name is Fred too…..hmmm….very interesting 🙂
I just want to thank you for your fictional story. First time I’ve laughed in several weeks, and laugh I did, with tears rolling out of my eyes. I lost the ability to breathe and speak. I needed that 🙂
LOL!!!!!
“fictional woman” story had me ROLLING!!! Thank you, I needed it after a crappy day in upstate NY… see ya!
I didn’t laugh. I just nodded my head. Thank you for telling the truth because now the fictional woman at my house doesn’t feel like such a freaking monster anymore.
Okay, I lied – I did laugh.
Nice cats.
What DO you guys do to tire out your cats so much that they yawn enough for all these great shots? 🙂
I hope you get everything with your DVR worked out. I love my Tivo – I think it’s the only gift I’ve ever gotten that I use ALL THE TIME. Just being able to fast-forward through the commercials allows you to watch even more programs in half the time!!
I think Miz Poo looks a little “Tubbyesque” in one of those pictures!
The fart story, HOW FUNNY! I got this email yesterday…>Thought for the day:
>
>Never hold your farts in.
>They travel up your spine, into your brain,
>and that’s where you get shitty ideas from.
Thought you would enjoy that piece of wisdom!