2003-02-05

Is it a ghost? A ghost in front of a door? Oooh, scary! And arty, don’tcha think? Why… it’s the inside of the closet door! We have a rack JUST like that. We keep our spices on it. Great minds apparently think alike. And… the inside of the closet! Uh. Foam noodles to the left, plastic cups to the right. It doesn’t get any more exciting than this, folks. Look! More closet! “Hey,” I said. “That looks like Florida!” Fred agreed. Another shot of the beach. Which I can’t really make fun of, since I took 45,000 pictures of the beach when we were in Florida last year. Someone on the phone… And still on the phone, this time without the flash. Someone heading to the water, apparently. We had a sign like this on our balcony when we were in Florida, too! Apparently all the hotels have the same signs. (The only reason I know it isn’t the same hotel is that the comforter is different, and there are cabana-type things on the beach, instead of chairs and umbrellas) Someone has painted her toenails, and is proud of that fact. Another shot of the beach. They wrote something in the sand, but I can’t tell what. It includes “Nick”, though. “Honey, take a picture of the sign on the back of the door!” “And the hideous curtains, too!” A ceramic snail. At least I hope it’s ceramic, ’cause if it’s real, it’s a big one! Flowers! On the table! I wonder where the closet is in relation to the table… An open tin of oysters! “Honey, DO NOT forget to get a picture of the top of the tin after it’s opened!” “And the can opener, too!” Tinned oysters on crackers with a nice cold beer? Yeah, baby. After all that artsy-fartsy picture taking, someone needs a nap.

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Heh. Y’all weren’t REALLY expecting exciting, amazing pictures, were you? Suckers! I’ll admit, I was a little disappointed – and confused. Why was a roll of pictures from Florida dropped on a mountain in Alabama? It’s a mystery, is what it is. After Tubby kicked ass the other day, I expected that word would spread to all the neighborhood kitties – “Don’t go in their yard! The fat one will kick your ass, and then the humans will come run you off!”, but I had just gotten out of the shower this morning and was putting lotion on my face when I heard the distinct sound of a growling, hissing, yowling cat. I came out of the bathroom, lotion in hand, and saw (I thought) all the cats sitting at the top of the stairs. I pushed through them and as I went down the stairs, I heard the same yowling, growling, hissing sound again. “Hey!” I yelled, and the sound stopped. I got to the bottom of the stairs, came through the computer room, and saw Fancypants sitting by the cat door, all fluffed up, peering out the window. I walked over to him and saw an orange cat slinking away. I could see his shadow as he climbed the fence, and then I went out back to be sure he’d actually left the yard. He was sitting atop the fence, and when he saw me, he growled and hissed. “Hey!” I called, waving my arms. “Go on, get out of here!” He continued growling and hissing. I didn’t want to have to walk across the wet lawn in my bare feet, so I repeated the motion, and he repeated his. I gave up and ran across the lawn toward him, calling “Buddy, you don’t live here! Go!” He held his ground, growling and hissing at me. I stood and considered my options. I thought about tossing my bottle of lotion at him, but that stuff is too damn expensive, so I walked back to the house, grabbed the hose, turned it on, and turned it in his direction. Like a shot, he was gone. I guess I’m the hero this time around.]]>