Moira sent me a Barbie Beetle for my birthday! I am stylin’ and cool, I am. The trunk opens with a key, and there’s a keychain and a little suitcase and everything. I’ll have to dig one of the Spud’s Barbies out of storage, dress her up, and push her around. I’d love to get Miz Poo in it, but her ass is just a TAD too big. I’ll have to settle for freaking her out by pushing it toward her.
Moira rocks!
* * *
Let’s get to the FAQ questions, shall we?
Reader Joan asks:
I find your journal interesting and enjoyable . . . and now, of course, the inevitable “but”, why do you find it necessary to use foul language so incredibly often? Yes, I know you’ve said if (to paraphrase) “you’re offended, no one is forcing you to read this…” sometimes, it appears as though you’re forcing yourself to talk/write this way. Do you talk like this around your daughter? Just curious. Thanks
Oh, this question makes me so tired. I get it at least once a week, and usually I discard the question, but since it is asked so often, I might as well answer it instead of thinking “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!”
I use foul language for various reasons. When I’m mad, when I’m annoyed, when I want to make a point, when I’m having fun with it. Sometimes I don’t even notice the bad words, and if I did, I probably wouldn’t think twice about them. I guess I use foul language because I can, and if it bothers you, well, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. Seriously, if the language bothers you (“you” in the general sense, not “you” in the directed at reader Joan sense), there’s no reason in the world to be reading my journal – there are thousands of them out there, and I’m certain that lots of them wouldn’t dream of swearing.
As for forcing myself to write this way, no. I’ve never put a “fuck” or “goddamn” where I didn’t fully believe it belonged. The most recent fuck-filled entry – 34 uses of the various forms of “fuck!” – started out as a fairly sedate rant, but I got started with the fucks, and was enjoying myself so much that, well, you
see where it led.
Do I talk this way around the spud? I’ll quote from an email I sent to Jolene on Friday:
Well, yeah, if I get all pissed off about something I might, but it’s never directed AT her. What’m I going to say, “Spud, eat your fucking cereal and pick up your fucking clothes, or I’ll toss them out the fucking window!” ? Swear around her? Yes. AT her? No. And when I say “Can you believe that fucking idiot fucking cut me off? Asshole!”, she thinks it’s funny as, well, fuck.
And for the record, in real life I don’t generally swear around people I don’t know. In fact, the only people I swear around in real life these days are Fred, the Spud, Debbie, and Liz. So if you meet me in person and expect a “Mighty fucking fine to meet you, fuckface!”, you’ll likely be disappointed.
I’ll probably be thinking it, though. (
Back to FAQ page)
* * *
From Jolene:
Are you ever going to print the cussing disclaimer on your page in 72 point font so that the FUCKING people who keep FUCKING asking you about your FUCKING language will finally FUCKING get it? I can’t believe you still have people fucking asking you about fucking that. Damn fuckers.
I’ve considered it, but it would mess up my layout. Hee!
* * *
From reader Connie:
We already know you’re intelligent and witty. Do you hold any degrees?
::blush:: You just say that ’cause you covet my cool Barbie Beetle.
I don’t hold any degrees, though I do have about 60 credits from classes I took at New Hampshire College and the University of Southern Maine in the early and mid 1990s. I was planning to get at the very least an Associates degree at the local community college when I first moved down here, even got as far as applying, but every time I seriously consider going back to school, I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’ve always hated school with a passion, which is probably why once I graduated from high school I never went to school for more than two semesters at a time. I may reconsider in the future, but at the moment I have no school plans.
(Back to FAQ page)
Have a burning question you’d love to have answered? Let me know!]]>