here.)
Date I started addressing cards: December 3rd.
Date I finished: December 20th.
Total cards sent out (not including family): 269.
States receiving 10 or more cards: California, New Jersey, Ohio, Texas, Washington.
States who don’t love me and didn’t want a card: Colorado, Delaware, Montana, New Mexico, Rhode Island, Vermont, West Virginia, Wyoming.
Other countries receiving cards: Canada (23), New Zealand (1), Australia (3), United Kingdom (9), Sweden (1), Netherlands (1), Republic of Korea (1), Portugal (1), Germany (2), Estonia (1), Iceland (1), Finland (1).
Most often recurring first names: Amy, Chris/Christine/Christy, Jennifer, Kristen, Laura, Melissa, Patricia/Patty/Pat, Teresa/Theresa.
Number of cards kicked back as undeliverable: 2 (1 to Melissa R. in Indiana, 1 to Carol S. in Washington).
Percentage of probability that I accidentally sent out more than one card to at least one person: 99.99999.
Was I terribly organized about my card sending this year?: Less organized than last year, but not completely unorganized.
Did I have a lot of fun shopping for funny cards?: You betcha. Next year we’re definitely doing homemade cards, though – we’ve already got a picture to use.
What I’ll do differently next year: Start cutting and pasting names and addresses sooner (but I said that last year, I think!).
Number of cards I’ve received: 130 (as of this morning).
It confused me at first that I sent less cards out this year than last, until I realized that I’d taken down the weight loss journal, which cut down on the number of readers sending me their names and addresses.
Thanks again, y’all, for all the sweet and funny cards you sent, as well as all the pictures of your kids and cats. You know I love ’em!
* * *
On Christmas morning, I believe I mentioned, the spud and I made fabulous
Mandarin muffins. I had eaten two muffins and decided that I could go for a third (shaddup!), so I walked from the computer room into the kitchen, where the remaining dozen muffins were cooling.
You can imagine the shock and horror I felt when I entered the kitchen to see one stumpy-tailed little Beanie bastard sitting amongst the muffins, licking the top of one muffin as fast as his little tongue could go. Imagine further my shock and horror when I realized that his ASS was sitting atop one of the muffins, and as he defiled my muffins he was purring just as loudly as he possibly could.
“YOU FUCKER!” I yelled. “GET AWAY FROM THERE!”
Sensing somehow that I was displeased, the little fucker hopped up from his seat atop the muffins and leapt to the kitchen table and from there hopped to the back of the couch, and then ran down to sit on the living room floor. He sat and kept a wary eye on me, licking his lips as he did so.
I tossed the muffins in the trash, although it did occur to me to leave the one the Bean had had his ass upon – the assmuffin, if you will – for Fred. But even I’m not quite that mean.
I just wish I’d gotten pictures.
* * *
This morning, after picking up Fred at the car place (he’s having his radiator replaced) and bringing him home, I did some chores around the house – washing out the nasty litter box and filling it with clean litter, taking down all the Christmas decorations, bagging up the old clothes and toys the spud decided to get rid of – and I took a break to check my email. When I decided it was time to take a shower, I stood up and headed for the stairs.
There, at the bottom of the stairs, sat the Bean, staring up at the pair of jeans Fred had hung over the end of the banister.
“Hey Beanie, what -” I began, but the Bean was intent upon his mission. In one fluid motion, he leapt up, hooked his front claws in the jeans, hung there for one moment, and then the jeans let go and tumbled in a heap upon the floor, the Bean underneath them.
With a chirrup, he emerged from under the jeans, eyed the pile of denim, and then climbed atop the pile, victorious. Because, of course, if there’s something on the floor…
* * *
Spanky, mid-yawn (taken by Fred).]]>
Don’t feel bad, West Virginia doesn’t like anybody.
Hmmmm Mandarin Muffins sound yummy,….but I don’t own a food processor. Can I just mishmash all the ingredients together?? hehe
and as far as the *assmuffins*……don’t you think a nice little visit to Fred’s work with said muffins in tow would have been a nice snack for that one guy you don’t care for that works there??
I am so evil.
Happy Holidays
Man, there’s nothing more infuriating than having a critter make off with food that was for you.
A couple of months ago, I’d made muffins (cinnamon oatmeal ones) on a Sunday morning. I’d had two, my husband had two, and the rest of the batch were cooling on the counter. We both went upstairs for a while, and when I came back down, there were only two muffins left. I yelled upstairs to ask hubby if he’d eaten, say, 6 muffins since the first two, and of course he hadn’t. There was only one possibility – the cats wouldn’t have eaten six whole muffins, and one of the two dogs is way too little to have managed any counter-surfing. But the other dog is big enough and was skulking around looking guilty. I was *so* bent over that. I’m absolutely positive the only reason he didn’t eat all 8 muffins was that he couldn’t quite reach those last two.
Hey Robyn! Im the Melissa R from Indiana who didn’t get a card…whassup with that?! Lord knows Ive been at this same damn address FOREVER! Oh well..you still rock my world, even if it is in Indiana!
“Assmuffin.” Hee hee!!
I’m lovin’ the picture of Beanie-boo on the jeans. He’s so CUTE! And he looks so much like my Snoopy!
Kathy – Yeah, you don’t have to actually use a food processor. We used a mixer, but I bet just mixing by hand would work just as well, too!
LMAO………we’ve got a bulimic, greasy, gay cat that is forever getting into food, and running for his pitiful life from the wrath of my hubby!
i just wanted to say i love reading about your daily cat antics. living with 4 of them i can relate to many many many of your stories 🙂
I just about spit my lunch out reading about The Bean on your muffin (ooo, that could be nasty..). Our dog once ate an entire loaf of bread and mangled the peanut butter jar, but couldn’t get it open. Stupid dog.
THe grandmother of one of my friends once spent the whole day baking bread. When she came back out to the kitchen to start putting things away, she found the cat on the counter taking bites out of everything, then knocking the rest to the floor for the dog to finish. When they work in teams, they’re REALLY dangerous.
I just wanted to thank you for my card. I was excited to receive it since it seems like nobody in my family felt like sending cards this year.
Hee! Assmuffin..lol…diet vanilla coke almost came out of my nose when I read that.
When I was a teen, my brother made the mistake of leaving a freshly cookied steak on the coffee table whilst he went and poured a coke. Our big fluffy grey cat snatched that steak in 2 seconds flat. My brother chased him down and there was an honest to god tug o war thing going on over the steak. Both parties were growling…heh! Ahhh..memories!
p.s.
Thanks for the card! I’m one of the Teresa’s…only I’m in az. 🙂