talking to the reporter at C B S about being on “The E@rly Sh0w”, the reporter offered up the idea that I could be part of the segment.
“Uh, I don’t think so,” Fred said. “She was pretty adamant about not wanting to be on TV again.”
“Well, can I try to sweet-talk her?” the reporter asked. “Maybe I can convince her!”
After Fred wiped away the tears of laughter caused by the thought of someone being able to “sweet-talk” me into doing something I really don’t want to do, he said “Okay, I’ll ask her if it’s okay for you to call her.”
“Um, no,” I told Fred when he asked. “And not only no, but HELL no, and I’ll be out of the house whenever they come to interview you and tape you exercising and all that goofy-ass shit.”
When Fred reported my “HELL no”, the reporter was amazed that there’s someone in existence who’s completely uninterested in being on a national TV show. Well, that would be me – I couldn’t be less interested. Life’s too short to spend time doing things that stress me out for days beforehand not to mention the actual filming. The Bullshit! taping was an interesting experience, but once it was done, I knew for sure that any life where I was required to be filmed on a regular basis is no life for me.
I’m perfectly happy being the invisible woman behind the man (and as Nance said, kicking his ass all the way. Heh.).
(And by the way, there are two – MAYBE three – people who can change my mind and convince me to do something I’m dead-set against doing. None of them are C B S reporters, and none of them are you. Just in case you thought you could convince me otherwise. 🙂
* * *
The kid who asked the spud out, Kelt0n, called her tonight while Fred and I were out returning movies and checking out the Christmas lights in the neighborhood with the huge-ass houses about two miles away. When we got home, she walked up to me, phone pressed to her ear, and mouthed “It’s KELT0N!”
When she got off the phone, she told me that they’d decided The Big Date would take place the Friday after school restarted and that it would be a movie.
Later, Fred said “She’s sure not all moony-eyed and goony about liking someone the way I was when I was her age.”
She’s not moony-eyed and goony, but she’s definitely excited. When she got off the phone she was about bouncing off the walls.
All together, now:
Awwwww!
Fred said “I expect to meet this boy before your date.”
“Are you going to do like the guys in
Bad Boys 2?” the Spud asked. We watched that movie yesterday afternoon, and there’s a scene where Martin Lawrence and Will Smith answer the door and give the boy who’s coming to pick up Martin Lawrence’s daughter for her first date, and hilarity ensues as they try to scare the bejesus out of the kid.
(It was actually pretty funny, that scene. The movie itself could have been cut by about 45 minutes and been a whole lot better, I think.)
“No, but I need to clean and polish my gun,” Fred said, and gave her the stinkeye.
* * *
In my comments yesterday, Louise asked
What are you wishing for this Christmas? Aside from the obvious – world peace, becoming queen of the universe, a painful accident that takes away
Jonny Fairplay‘s ability to talk or communicate with the world in any way – there’s just really nothing that comes to mind. I mean, yes – of COURSE I want my little yellow Beetle, but that’s not really a Christmas gift, and I know that eventually I’ll get my little yellow Beetle. I want a
KitchenAid Mixer, but that’s something I’ll save up for to get. Ditto with the
Dyson vacuum and a new camera (though I don’t know what kind, yet). I know that I’m getting stuff off of my wish list from Fred and his father, and I’m perfectly happy with that.
The problem is that at this point in my life, if there’s something I really want and it doesn’t cost too much, I buy it (and yes, I’m very lucky that I can). I do like to be surprised, and I’ve been informed that Fred will surprising me when we open our presents on Christmas Eve, so I’m definitely looking forward to that.
Of course, if someone wants to buy me the
town of Tortilla Flat, Arizona, I wouldn’t complain.
* * *
The Bean, in attack mode.
The Bean, in cute mode.
This looks like trouble in the making…
I sure do love this cat.
Spot loves it when we turn the fire on.
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LOL, you made me laugh about not being on TV. When I worked at the bead store, one of the local stations came in to do a short feature about it. And they were all saying, “Okay, now we want you to be here, doing this.” And I said, “You can want whatever you want, but I’ll be in back and don’t you dare bring that camera back there without telling me first so I can get out of range.” They couldn’t believe that there was someone who didn’t want to be on TV either.
We have the purple Dyson (the one specially designed for pet hair) and I LOOOOOOOOOVE it. I actually (almost) enjoy vacuuming(sp?) now. We’ve gone through about 50 vacuums, and this one is THE best ever.
Since you won’t go on t.v., and I can apparently only convince you to buy expensive hair products, but have no other influence, then can I pretend to be Fred’s wife, just for the day (no sex or anything, unless, you know, you’re okay with that)? Because I really want to be on t.v., because I need a free makeover.
I’ll take the free make-over, but not the spot on TV. That would freak me out to have the goofy faces I make when I am talking captured for posterity. It bothers me enough to catch site of my face in a mirror, mid-gesture, my eyebrows all wiggly, my eyeballs all poppy, and my mouth doing that thing that I thought only my mother’s mouth would do. Eep.
Elaine – every time I see the Dyson commercial, I absolutely drool. Which is kind of sad, that a vacuum cleaner makes me that excited, now that I think about it!
Jane – If you bribe me with expensive hair products I’ll never use, I’ll see what I can do. 🙂
Von – amen, sister!
Spot really is very cute. I could deal with some more Spot pix.
I want a Dyson too! I have the purple one, the Animal, on my Amazon wish list. (yeah right)
I like the little robot one too but I think it would freak my cat Sister out BAD.
I have a Dyson (Purple for pets) and it is the most awesome machine! Can’t believe I spent $500.00 for it but it is worth every penny! When I first got it I vacummed the living room with my Sears Vacuum and then did it with the Dyson. Holy crapola…I was freaked out at what the other vacuum did not pick up!! Put this machine at the top of your wish list.
I hate being on camera…so I don’t blame you for saying HELL no. 🙂
I can’t buy you Tortilla Flat, but I could prob take you there since I live in AZ.
Hehhe…
BTW that is one kickass picture of Miz Poo you have posted today.
Hi Robyn!
Thank you so much for the Christmas card!! I got it today and it cracked me up. I loved it and it was exactly what I would have expected from you. lol. Have a great Christmas!
Thought these rules may come in handy for you Robyn:
8 SIMPLE RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER
by: W. Bruce Cameron
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off my daughter’s body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a “barrier method” of some kind will kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early.”
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romance or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
You have the CUTEST kitties ever! I love them all!
“Spot loves it when we turn the fire on.” – Wow! No one could say that 50 years ago. What a world we live in. Our fireplace is the “old-fashioned” kind and we rarely start a fire… it’s so much work.
I live pretty close to Tortilla Flat. The town burned down some years ago, but they rebuilt. The teeny little place is between Canyon Lake and Apache Lake, part of the reservoir system that is responsible for all the bewildered folks from back east wondering, “Salt River? But there’s no water down there!” when they arrive in Phoenix. If you’re ever in the Phoenix area, check out the Superstition Mountains. Ignore the little white trash tweaker burg that is Apache Junction, though.
I agree with Sheila – I’ve been there a few times, and it’s pretty much a pit.