Plain Janie-Jane, I read this little tidbit: Influenza is an upper respiratory disease. If you are having bowel rumblings, or throwing up, I’m sorry for you, and here’s some Pepto, but homies, you have a stomach virus, NOT INFLUENZA. Seriously? I did NOT know that! When I was in kindergarten (ugh. THIRTY years ago, that was!), I was out of school for a few days due to what my mother told me was the flu. When I got back to school, one of my classmates (a boy. I don’t recall his name, but I do remember that he was a twin! Also, I believe my teacher’s name was Mrs. Radecki. How can I possibly have retained this information?) said “Why were you gone for two days?” And I said “I had the flu.” The boy said “Did you have diarrhea?” Aghast and horrified that he would ask such a personal question, I said “NO!” “Well,” he said, all smug and certain of his facts. “If you didn’t have DIARRHEA, then it was NOT the flu! It’s just a cold!” Thus ever since, all these many years, I have thought “Do I have diarrhea? Why, no. I have just a nasty cough that is laying me out flat. Must be a cold.” It’s true. You DO learn something new every day. That Jane is quite educational, even if she does mock my misuse of it’s. (I mean, seriously. Until otherwise informed by Fred earlier this year, I thought an apostrophe followed by an s shows possession. And it does, but it is one of those fucking exceptions. Fucking it. So if it’s cannot be replaced by it is or it was in your sentence, there should be no damn apostrophe. Fucking apostrophe. Fucking possession. Fucking lax public school English teachers. (Or, more likely, fucking me, for not paying attention when that was covered.) This has been your educational lesson for the day. Perhaps we’ll cover the site vs. sight distinction another day.) Also regarding Jane, here’s another reason to laugh at me. I thought Jane CREATED the word metrosexual. Seriously, because she’s the first one I heard it from. And then I started reading it everywhere and I thought “Damn but that Jane has some serious social influence!” Duh. Of course, for many years I also thought my brother Tracy created the word “fart”, because I can CLEARLY remember the four of us (my two brothers, Debbie, and I) standing in the basement in base housing in Kinchl0e AFB in Michigan with Tracy saying “It’s called a FART.” No doubt my mother had been teaching us to say “I passed gas!” for the majority of our formative years like she did with the spud and Brian. Apparently I’ve always been a bit clueless.
Tubs, hanging out.
No doubt looking for the perfect place to pee. Bastard.
LOL about what you said about Tommy & Pamela, I laughed so hard I choked. The statement you made about yourself sounds JUST LIKE something I would say about myself, except I’d say Georgia, since I live in Georgia.. I’m still laughing… Also,I agree with your caption under Tubby’s pic-he does look like he’s searching for the perfect piss spot..
~Denise~ Why, YES I DO live in Georgia :o)~
I do hope you’re providing non-toxic gun cleaning solution for the Spud, Robyn.
Yeah but all we want to know is have you obtained the new Pamela and Kid Rock yet? 🙂
Pam is a size queen.
Mike
My grandmother used to call farts “boofers.” Go figure. Hey, is it true what they say about Tommy Lee being well-hung?
Stephanie, it’s so true it’s scary.
Everytime Im getting over the flu, I close the whole deal with a full day of the runs. So I dont know that its true that the flu has nothing to do with diarrhea. Of course it could just be a reaction to the medication…
Can ya take a video of the Pam and Tommy video and put it up for the movie of the week? hehe I’ve always wanted to see what the fuss was about, but I never got to see it dammit. And this fat chick in Canada WANTS to!! 🙂
Well, I got to see the Paris Hilton sex tape when it was still floating out there in cyber land. It also was very freaky…especially Paris’ night glow eyes and her green tinted skin. blech.
And thank you thank you thank you for letting me know I was not alone in making the Red Dawn connection!!!
I would rather watch the Pam and Tommy tape ANYDAY over the Paris Hilton tape…that girl seriously scares me. How the hell did Tubby get his fat ass up on those boxes anyway?
I get uncomfortable watching the Discovery channel when animals mate, I can only imagine humans are twice as ridiculous 🙂 like a train wreck, right? LOL Id watch it for free. ha.
Tubby rocks my world
I invite you all to peruse the following page from the Centers for Disease Control:
http://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/disease.htm
Please scroll down to the paragraph entitled, “The Myth of the Stomach Flu”. It does say that sometimes stomach symptoms can be related to the flu, but reiterates that influenza is a respiratory disease.
I also invite you all to call me a smarmy little know-it-all behind my back. Fine. I don’t see any of YOU inventing the word “metrosexual”.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who keeps wanting to call the movie Seabiscuit, Seabasket! I’ve never heard of the restaurant myself, but Seabasket just rolls right off the tongue in a way that Seabiscuit never could. Heh.
Stupid question – dont make fun of me – but do cats really eat milk? for the past few nights, a stray (with tags) has been coming onto my porch. She/He stares at me until I (slowly) open the door then she runs like her life depended on it. Id like to get her home, maybe she ends up there? I dont know, but she’s very pretty: lion-mane-like black hair and huge eyes 🙂
How can I get her to not run off so I can see who she belongs to? Any ideas?
Normally I dont like cats, but you folk seem to like them and probably know more than me 🙂
That Jane. She sure is smart and I love her for saying what I have snorted about when reading people’s journal entry accounts of the stomach “flu” that they have had. She is 100% correct – the flu is a respiratory infection. The Flu vaccine protects you from some (but by no means all) of the strands of respiratory flu. As for the runs and puking – stomach virus and no one can save you from that. My best advice is thorough handwashing.
You. Friggen. Crack. Me. Up. So damn honest, you are! But my comment really is about the whole flu/cold controversy. My hubs INSISTS that if you aren’t puking, it ain’t the flu. It’s a yearly argument in our house as we fight over the box of kleenex during flu season. Thanks for clearning this up via Jane!
D — Cats can eat milk, but it gives lots of them diarrhea. There’s a product made called “Cat’s Milk” that they really like, and it shouldn’t muck up the digestive tract.
Your brother may not have invented the word, but I ASSURE you he has perfected th technique. Much to my chagrin.
Obviously, the porn obsession runs in your family. Heh.
My dad always called/calls a fart a traf. That’s right, it’s fart spelled backwards. For years, I had no idea that wasn’t really what it was called. And it wasn’t until I was in high school that it was pointed out to me that traf was fart spelled backwards. One of my siblings gleefully informed me of that and reveled in my dumbassedry for never realizing it myself. Mickey fickey siblings.
Very interesting info… I don’t know about anyone else lol but when I’m sitting on the toilet with a trashcan on my lap heaving from all directions I’ll call it whateva I feel like 😀
I downloaded Pam and Tommy. I think she was saying all those I love yous to his rather large salami.
Well, since you’re watching it every friday, I suppose there’s no chance of it going up on the give away page? Dang…
Heh – yeah, I won’t be providing porn to anyone else, lest I be arrested for it. I’m surprised the sheriff hasn’t shown up at the front door to arrest me for talking about it! 🙂
Do not, NOT, under any circumstances, rent Gigli. That’s 1.5 hours of your life you will never get back, and quite frankly, that time would probably be better spent watching paint dry… I was subjected to the first 30 mins of it in the theater when I was mercifully saved by the power outage that hit east this past summer. Thank the freakin’ lord…
Robyn, got my Xmas card in the mail! Yay! Thanks!
I got my card in the mail today, too! How apropo: Santa wrecking his sled into a tree, with his CELL PHONE dangling from the sleigh……hehehe (see comments from yesterday)
Thankyou and Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy Holidays to All!
(was that P.C. or what)
There’s a great connection between two of the things in this entry.
I always want to call ‘Seabiscuit’ ‘Airbiscuit’. Why? Because this is one of about 20 names I call a fart!
Float me an airbiscuit!
Fart, chuff, trump, floating airbiscuit, purmp (thanks Dad!), blow off (thanks Mum!)…..
thanks, Fred. She came by again last night but I cant get near her. Hopefully, she’s going home after she visits.
Did you know that the operation to capture Hussein was coded Operation Red Dawn? My 20-yo son told me and I said there was no way it could be related to the movie. He sent me a link saying the two farmhouses that were under surveillance were called Wolverine One and Wolverine Two. Buncha DORKS!
Ummmmm, do ya remember giving me that movie for christmas last year? heheheh
With no disrespect to Jane, I did have Influenza A and threw up non-stop the first night. It *is* uncommon though in adults (to throw up with the flu). And believe it or not, I had no cough, despite the fact that I’m a smoker. Just saying.