Public Service Announcement: You know, I have a cell phone, and as much as I hate other people with cell phones, I’ll admit that I do some of the things you’re not supposed to do. Every once in a while when I have a burning question, I’ll call Fred while I’m driving down the road. If the phone rings while I’m driving down the road, I’ll answer it. Sometimes I need to call Fred from the grocery store to find out whether I need to pick up more salad, or to ask exactly what kind of ham or turkey he wanted. I’ll admit it – I’m one of those annoying people with cell phones, wandering down the aisle while chatting away about nothing important. But – and this is key, folks – I never lose track of the fact that there are people all around me. If I’m in the grocery store, I don’t wander down the middle of the fucking aisle at a snail’s pace so that no one can get past me. I move my ass over to the side, out of the way, and if I see that someone is hovering as if I’m in front of the very item they need to look at, I move my ass and my cart the fuck out of the way. If I’m driving down the road, talking on the phone, I make a point of getting into the right lane and slowing down so that there’s a lot of space between the front of my vehicle and the ass-end of the vehicle in front of me. And I keep the conversation as short as possible rather than being chatty. It’s just common courtesy, is what it is, and I try to annoy those around me with my cell phone conversations as little as possible. I was at the grocery store yesterday stocking up on the essentials – salad, sliced ham, Skinny Cows – and when it was time to check out, I chose the only lane open. In front of me was an older woman, who had just put all her items on the conveyer belt. As the cashier began ringing up her items, the woman turned to look at the TicTacs�, pondering slowly over which flavors might excite her palate. Just then, we all heard the toodle-toodle-toodle of a cell phone ringing, and the woman grabbed her purse and dug out her phone. (I knew it wasn’t my phone ringing, because mine plays the Flintstones theme song) The woman, chatting casually on her phone (“Oh nothing, I’m in the grocery store”), turned back to peruse the TicTacs. I didn’t pay much attention to what she was talking about (though I’ll admit that I often eavesdrop on people talking on their cell phones, because that’s just how nosy I am) and turned to look at the magazine rack. The grocery store we frequent does this odd thing where they cover the front of certain magazines so that you can only read the title of the magazine. After some research, I’ve determined that they’re not covering the magazines with the half-naked models on the front, but rather they cover any magazine with words like “sex” or “orgasm” on the front (“16 ways to your BEST ORGASM EVER!”). Suffice it to say that Cosmo is usually covered. “Ma’am?” the cashier said to me, politely. “This is all yours, right?” She indicated my pile of groceries. “Yes, that’s mine,” I said, and turned to look at Madam TicTac, who was gesturing animatedly as she chatted, waving a pack of TicTacs in the air. She turned around and put her TicTacs down, in and amongst my groceries. The cashier looked at me and gave me a rueful smile. “Those are hers,” I stage-whispered, and the cashier grinned, rang them up, and added them to the woman’s order. And then we got to stand around while the woman, clearly not the sort who can walk and chew gum at the same time, fumbled with her credit card, NEVER ONCE PAUSING IN HER INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT CONVERSATION. “Is that what she said? But what are you going to do? Uh huh. The red or the green? I think green would be okay, but it’s three months away, so you probably… I mean, if she cares that much, let her do it, you know? I know. Right. Uh huh. Nooooo…. ::giggle:: When, though? I KNOW! She can be so ignorant, sometimes.” (Pot. Kettle. Black. Bitch.) The cashier, the bagger and I stood around waiting for Madam TicTacs to run her credit card through the machine and then sign the credit slip. There was so much eye-rolling going on I’m surprised we didn’t all get dizzy and pass out. And then, leaning on the little counter located next to the credit/ debit machine, the woman loitered there and continued her conversation. “Oh, I know, I couldn’t believe it. But then – what? No, really? She did? When? I asked her and she said NO! Why would she – ? REALLY? But when? Oh, please, she is not. She always says that and everyone jumps to help her out, and then it never happens. I can’t believe she said that, can’t she just give it a rest? I can’t stand it when she does that…” The cashier looked at the woman, and then at me. I looked at the woman and then the cashier. Time passed slowly by as we stood around, unsure of what to do. Clearly the “What to do if the customer won’t get her ass out of the way” section had been missing from the employee handbook. Finally, with a mental shrug, I moved so that I was in the woman’s space. I don’t like getting in peoples’ space, and in fact I loathe it when people get in my space, but desperate times call for desperate measures. And it worked! The woman looked up to see me rightthere, and moved away. Then she saw a grocery cart full of groceries in bags and an impatient bagger standing nearby, and apparently a chord struck in the distant reaches of what passed for her brain. Finally, STILL talking on the phone, she left the store. Checking over her shoulder to be sure she was really gone, the cashier turned and began ringing up my items. “I think that is SO rude!” she said. “Me too!” I said, and we bonded for a moment about the rudeness of SOME PEOPLE. Here’s the thing, folks. You are not – you will NEVER BE – so very important that it’s impossible for you complete a task such as checking out without making those around you wait and wait and wait while you act like an idiot. I understand that you MIGHT think to yourself “My god, I am SO important, I MUST show these peons how VERY important I am, by continuing my INCREDIBLY important conversation. THEY are certainly NOWHERE near as important as I, and thus they do NOT mind waiting for ME!” In actuality, rather than being impressed by how amazingly important you are and how stunningly interesting your conversation is, and thinking to themselves “My GOD, I wish I were that important, TOO!”, what they are thinking to themselves is “What a tool. I wonder if there’s a security camera on me right now? I sure would like to deliver a swift kick to this idiot’s knee and break it. That sure would make me feel better!” “But Robyn!” you are saying to me. “But the phone, it rang! And I cannot let a phone ring and not answer it! What if it’s an EMERGENCY!!!!” Read this, memorize it, tattoo it on your ass if need be, but live by these simple rules, people. If the PHONE rings while you’re standing in line, and you fear that it might be a very important phone call, an EMERGENCY, then you should ANSWER the phone, and when you hear that it is your spouse or your mother or someone else just calling to chat, you should say these very simple words: “Hi, let me call you right back, okay?” And if the caller responds by saying “No, but wait, I just wanted to ask you…”, then say, very clearly “I am STANDING in the CHECKOUT LINE, and I WILL CALL YOU BACK, because only self-important TOOLS stand in the CHECKOUT LINE while talking on their cell phone!”, and then hang up. Or you could say “Hey, hold on just a minute while I check out”, and then put the phone down and check out. I mean, how hard is that? I understand that your world revolves around you (except when it revolves around me), but if every once in a while you thought about how what you do (talking on the phone while trying to check out) affects those of us around you (the cashier, the bagger, the other people who want to check out and get on with their day), the world would probably be a tad less annoying and stressful. Thank you for your time, and have a nice day.
The Bean talks to the birds out at the feeders. The birds do not seem impressed.
Oh Robyn – I’m old enough to remember when cell phones didn’t exist. And people survived!
I keep mine in the car for emergencies. We also use it for long distance calls so they’re free. Otherwise, I never use a cell phone, especially in public. I just don’t see the point, but that’s just me.
Ha! The bitch bought you some TicTacs! There is always a price for rudeness.
So, the burning question is….. Do you like lime TicTacs?
I personally think they’re OK, but they sure don’t do much as far as breath-freshness goes and they turn your tongue green too.
Actually, I do like the lime TicTacs, though I would never have thought to buy them and give them a try. Fred thinks they taste like Froot Loops, and I agree. Heh.
Lime Tic-Tacs? *shudder* What will they come up with next?
I’ve made calls to home in the check-out line & I’ve called hubby while he was in line (I have great timing, dontcha know?). But we *never* carry on a conversation—my purpose is to get him ready to lug all the damn groceries in as fast as possible (we live in AZ–’nuff said. You don’t leave groceries in a car unless you want them cooked!) People who carry entire conversations in stores bug the shit out of me.
Oh, and btw—if you’re going to post nasty pictures like yesterday’s spider, PLEASE give a warning in the notify email beforehand? I just about had a heart attack! (I’d imagine I could beat you in the screaming contest, especially when it comes to spiders & snakes). LMAO!
Hmmm. Think the cashier did that one on purpose? Hmmmm? HMMMMM????
Dirty phone lady. They’re all over, infesting the world like germs I tell ya.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!!
Thank you!!
I *AM* a friggin’ cashier and I HATE people who do that!! Then when the order is done and bagged they’ll say “hang on a sec, Oh miss? I wanted those in paper bags”
Assholes.
You shoulda broke her knee…I bet everyone else there woulda covered for ya.
Did you pay for the Tic-Tacs or did she?
I got a call while in the check out line the other day and told the calling party I’d call them back and hung up. The cashier just about fell over herself to thank me for doing that…that shows how often people DON’T do that. (Could I say “that” a hundred more times!)
Oh, I do SO HOPE that Ms. Self Important bought Your Bitchyness some TicTacs. I’m simultaneously irritated and amused. Weird how you do that to me so often! 🙂
I really don’t mind people who talk on their cell phones, as long as the volume level of their conversation is no louder than it would be if they were having a conversation in person. Or if they were simply nuts and talking to themselves. I do agree that everyone needs to put the phone away when being served by someone. That’s the rudest shit possible. My shit does stink, therefore I am polite enough to put my phone down when being served by a waitress or cashier.
What I cannot stand are the cell phone screamers (both the ignorant and the pretentious varieties), or worse, the people who won’t ANSWER THAT SHIT OR TURN IT OFF. I had a guy in Starb*cks let his phone ring all the way through his entire annoying jingle THREE times before my evil, penetrating stare make his head combust. I’m getting really good at that.
Amen, Robyn! I HATE people on line with their cell phones glued to their ears. I had a similar situation happen to me at the Post Office, and I wanted to strangle the woman…not only was she yapping away on one call…she had two calls and was flipping back and forth between them. And from what I could make out (yes, I’m nosy too) she was trying to get the first person she was talking to to call the OTHER person! AAACCKKK!
I hate my cell phone and almost never turn it on. Which annoys the crap out of my boyfriend. He is the only person who ever calls me on it. He mentioned something about not having it on the other day, so I turned to him and said (bitchily, of course), “Well, since you are the only person who calls me and you are standing FOUR INCHES away from me, what is the point of turning it on?!?!?” He just turned and walked away. Heh.
A couple of weeks ago, my hubby was out of town, so I took the kids to Taco Bell. There was a guy in there, couldn’t have been more than 19 or 20. I assume the two women he was with were his mother and sister. I know he wasn’t married to either of them because he was talking on his cell phone to his soon to be ex-wife. How do I know it was his soon to be ex-wife, you ask? Because he kept saying how he couldn’t wait “until this fucking divorce is final and I don’t have to fucking ever talk to you fucking again.” Niiiiice. My kids are oblivious but I very close to taking his fucking phone and shoving up his fucking ass since he didn’t have the decency to contol his fucking language in a public place. Fucker.
I am so with you Diane. I couldn’t even tell you how many times my battery will run out, whether the phone is on or off because I hardly ever use it to realize that it’s running low. But then it’s extremely rare for anyone to call me or vice versa since I have a “phobia” of talking on phones. My boyfriend is also the only one who calls me on it unless I specifically tell someone too.
And as far as emergencies go, the person should leave a message, when I’m able to talk on the phone I will retrieve my message and call you back. My boyfriend will answer the phone in the middle of an arguement because “it might be an emergency.” Bullshit is what I say, this argument here and now is an emergency otherwise we wouldn’t be having it! Ha!
Shoot! makes me soooo aggrevated I wanna slap that thing right through one ear straight out the other side! BUT I’m wasting time, energy because “they” don’t care as they are so wrapped up with “self”. *SIGH*
I am just cracking up about the bitch getting out of the store with NO tic tacs !!! After all that !!! Anyway, that is the rudest thing ever !!! I just hate when people talk on the phone in public …if mine rings and I must answer it (ie. the other night at dinner) It was my ex-husband calling and he had our daughter with him, so of course I answered, immediately excusing myself to the lobby of the restaurant …
They do taste like Froot Loops. That is exactly what I was gonna say. We had the same situation with a cell phone person at a restaraunt. They had paid and were going to leave and their phone rang and they sat back down at the table. It was our table (no other were available) and the waitress even bussed the table while they sat their oblivious. Finally my husband told us to come on and we stood around the table until she got the hint (still took her a minute).
Ok…in an effort to remain happy and free in my own little fantasy world, I imagine these people must be writing a thesis paper about the effects of rude, stupid, assenine (sp?), or otherwise bizarre behavior. I have been known, on occasion, to make that very comment…Oh, you must be writing…of course, that explains it! That shit drives me nuts. I hate moving into their space, too, but I will just to fuck with them.
I went to Meijer one day and there was some man fighting with some ‘Catherine’ in the shoe aisle on his cell phone. SCREAMING and FUCK THIS AND FUCK YOU THAT and I’m gonna KICK YOUR ASS THAT. OMG!!!!!!! What the hell is WRONG with people?
I went to Meijer one day and there was some man fighting with some ‘Catherine’ in the shoe aisle on his cell phone. SCREAMING and FUCK THIS AND FUCK YOU THAT and I’m gonna KICK YOUR ASS THAT. OMG!!!!!!! What the hell is WRONG with people?
You are so restrained!!!! I work as a cashier too, and when people insist on that behaviour I bypass them, and ask if I can help the next person, and just tell them I’ll serve them when they finish their call!!! They’re usually either embarrassed or astounded!!! However I’m lucky all there groceries aren’t sitting waiting to be taken away!! I’, over rudeness, and too old not to act up!!!LOL
Bab, bad Jayne!!!!:)
That should be baD baD Jayne….LOL!!!
Hehehe…did any of you see on the news last week about the lady that was driving and talking to a DJ on a radio talk show about the Mich**l J**kson thing….and she decided to pull over onto the shoulder of the highway (YUP! she was on the INTERSTATE folks!!) and she thought she was safe to sit there and blab, and someone went off the road and rearended her?? The people at the radio station heard the crash and didn’t know what happened…until they heard her hollering for someone to help her, and then someone stopped and said they were calling 911. I don’t recall what state this was in, but they played it on the national news….and, luckily, the lady wasn’t seriously injured, despite the fact that the back seat of her full size car ended up in the front seat with her….
What REALLY annoyed me was when my BF and I were at a concert last thursday night (Bela Fl*ck and the Fl*cktones, excellent!) and a cell phone rang in the audience, right in the middle of B*la’s banjo solo…..he raised his eyebrows and paused a minute, so I guess he had a sense of humor about it, but I know of another time when the performer actually stopped and asked the offender (who was talking on their phone in the front row during an acoustical performance, so she could be heard)to turn her phone off or leave..)
I mean, we pay over 60 bucks for seats for 2 people and we don’t need to hear ppl on their damn phones….sheesh, some jerks! And, while we are on the subject, I have call-waiting just in case something happens with my young son while he is at his dad’s, but I think it is terribly rude to leave someone on the line so you can answer the phone when you get a second call. If my son is gone, then I will tell the original caller to hold on a second while I see if it is my son or about him, other than that I ignore the second ring. Otherwise it sends a message to the first caller that I am bored talking with them and I would rather get off the phone and talk to the second caller. Sometimes modern technology is great but we must remember our manners too….
THANKS for letting me vent and now back to your regular bitchypoo reading folks!!
I admit that I will answer my phone in the car even if someone is cutting me off, there is something in my eye, and the sky is falling. It is very dangerous but I do it. After reading all this, I will try to be more careful because I know that I can kill someone or myself in the process. HOWEVER, I do try to turn off my phone in a restaurant and try to keep my conversations in the grocery store short and sweet.
I have a friend who, while we are in a restaurant, will answer her phone and talk as loud as possible because, for some reason she thinks the other person in deaf. Stupid, stupid people.
To take Jayne’s comment a bit further… You might try what I did once with a phone dawdler at the check-out stand. I motioned to the cashier to begin checking my items, then sashayed past the RUDE ONE, grabbed her cart, loudly thanked the checker and headed for the door, quickly, with her full cart. Oh yeah, the RUDE ONE got the message, and several of us had a great laugh. There may have even been a high-5 or two.
I HATE call waiting. Especially when I call someone else long distance and they put me on hold to see who’s calling. I will usually hang up and let them call me back on their dime.
AMEN!!! I have a cell phone & they come in so handy & have saved lives in crimes/emergencies.However I HATE when people talk on & on..in the line or even loudly talking about personal things..like who cares? Sometimes they are cussing & carrying on,I don’t want my son hearing all of that.I don’t get why people don’t care if other people hear all their business OR is it that they are so into themselves & the phone that they don’t even *see* anyone else?!!!!!
That’s so hilarious that this is the topic of your entry today….I work at the Bookstore today, and we’ve been super busy with finals week, and a big sale…pretty much no time in between customers at all, line all the time…and I had one of those ladies today, Blabbed on her cell phone, couldn’t get her credit card out one handed – meanwhile, there’s a huge line behind her, and she’s yacking away, completely oblivious. Finally when she was done, she stood there, trying to get her shit all together one-handed, so I finally helped the next person, forcing her to scoot over. Stupid bitch. Why is every other person on this planet so fucking annoying and so stupid?
That one has to go down in the RANT hall of fame! You ROCK!!!
I was in line at the 7-11 the other day and my phone rang (it was in my pocket) and I answered it, sad hang on, put it back in my pocket, paid for my DIET vanilla pepsi, walked out, retrieved my phone from said pocket and continued- the woman behind me in line thanked me. How wrong is that?? It was common courtesy!!
I hate stupid people!!!!!!!
Oh gawd Robyn, you really hit a nerve with this one!
I live in a yuppie-fied suburb of Portland, OR and it’s like it is de rigeur to be yapping on one’s cell phone while backing their huge SUV out of a parking space!
My husband and I even have a little running joke every time we see an SUV pulling waaaaaaaayyyyyy too slowly out of a parking space. One of us will yell “WOMAN ON A CELL PHONE!” And you know what? 8 times out of 10, we’re RIGHT.
Don’t get me wrong, I *love* my cell phone, and have had one for about 10 years. But I also know when and how to use it, and only wish that others would do the same.
True story: A woman in Indiana having phone sex while driving on the freeway, rear-ended a parked semi with her pants around her ankles. Person on the other end of the phone called 911 and reported the accident. She died.
Also, I am the Amanda of the Amanda Comment #1, not the Amanda comment #2. I talk all the time on my phone in the car and I would never give it up. When they make people people stop eating Big Macs, swatting their kids, reading the paper, balancing their checkbook and applying mascara while driving, I will consider pulling the earbud from my ear. Until then… sorry folks. (But I don’t drive an SUV, so I’m safe, right?)
As an aside, my new car is Bluetooth ready, so I won’t even need the earbud after I get my new Bluetooth phone for Christmas. (ThankYouSanta!) The phone controls are built into the steering wheel, and it connects to my phone wirelessly.
>>>I talk all the time on my phone in the car and I would never give it up. When they make people people stop eating Big Macs, swatting their kids, reading the paper, balancing their checkbook and applying mascara while driving, I will consider pulling the earbud from my ear. Until then… sorry folks. (But I don’t drive an SUV, so I’m safe, right?)
Bitchypoo, Oh Bitchypoo, your daily commentary is a fine thing to behold. And lest anyone ever truly accuse you of being a bitch, remind them that you are only saying online what the rest of us bitches are thinking. Next time, call the bitch in line on the cell phone out, because unless she’s waiting for the call to let her know her new kidney has just arrived, there is no reason in Hell for her to be blocking your salvation like that. The Hell of it all….
I had to stop lurking to comment on this. Robyn, I had almost the exact same thing happen to me. Woman yacking away, ended up screwing up the little credit card scanner, like 3 times due to being distracted by her call. And then when she was done, wouldn’t move out of my way. On her way out I said very loudly. “Really glad you’re so important!” But I think she was yacking to loudly to hear me. Made the checkout girl laugh though! 🙂
You are right. It is just common courtesy and unfortunately there are very few people in this world anymore who have any. It fries my butt too. Good rant!