GET a hallelujah??
* * *
After all my bitching about hearing constantly about Jessica Lynch and how I wish the media would just shut the fuck up, what did I do today? Why, I bought the Jessica Lynch
book, of course.
My excuse is that I thought Fred wanted to read it. I guess another good excuse would be that I usually like the stuff Rick Bragg writes. Yeah, that’s the ticket. I saw that it was by Rick Bragg and didn’t know what it was about until after I’d bought it! Yeah!
* * *
So, I believe I mentioned that That Bastard Tubby peed on the floor in our bedroom a few weeks ago. We did what we usually do, which was to blot up as much urine as possible, saturate the carpet with Nature’s Miracle, and go about our business.
Except that earlier this week, I noticed that every time I walked into the bedroom, I was greeted by an odor. The odor of fish. It smelled like someone had left a dead fish somewhere, and it had started to rot.
And it was coming from the corner where Tubby had peed.
Now, look. I know that Nature’s Miracle takes time to work, and it does all that cool breaking down of enzymes, but when walking into one’s bedroom – the room where one SLEEPS – makes one gag, it is time to stop waiting for the Nature’s Miracle to work.
Fred dumped a huge-ass container of Febreeze on the area, waited to let it soak in, and then sucked it up with the steam cleaner. It worked for a brief amount of time, and then the smell came back with a motherfucking vengeance. I did a Google search and discovered that for the most part, the opinion was that the smell would never come out, that the carpet and pad would need to be yanked up, and the subfloor would need to be bleached and then sealed. Fred and I discussed having the carpet replaced, but if we have anything done in there, I’d much rather have hardwood floors put in, and Fred’s sure that’s mighty expensive. Especially since we have no desire to live in this house for much longer than it will take the spud to graduate from high school.
But that’s four more years in this house, and I’ll be damned if I’ll spend those four years sleeping surrounded by the stench of dead and rotting fish. Last night, I dumped about five pounds of baking soda on the area and covered it with tinfoil (so the cats wouldn’t try to use it as litter or tromp all through it). Believe it or not, it helped. Today, I went to Sam’s and bought four 12-pound bags of baking soda and a huge-ass pack of tinfoil. I stopped by Target and bought an air purifier. When I got home, I vacuumed up the baking soda I’d dumped yesterday, dumped another four pounds of baking soda on the area and covered it with tinfoil. I plugged the air purifier (it’s a plug-mount purifier) in the outlet directly over the area. It’s not a big purifier, but since it’s directly over the area, I’m hoping it captures any smell that might arise. I also have both windows open (and the temperature outside is in the high 40s, thus the house is fuh-REEZING), which is helping, too.
I’m going to vacuum up the baking soda every few days and throw down some new, then cover it with foil. I’m hoping like hell that this works, at least until our order of
Cat-Off arrives.
I’m not holding much love for Tubby at the moment, believe you me.
* * *
New movie of the week up, finally! Click on the “movie of the week” link over there to the right, under the “about” section, and if you’re going to watch it over and over again, please right-click and save it to your hard drive. It’s a big one, about 7.5 MB. Sorry about that, those of you on dial-up. This one’s a movie of Miz Poo and the Bean getting into it. If you turn your sound way up, you’ll be able to hear Miz Poo growling, the Bean’s war cry, and me laughing so hard I’m about to pass out.
Those kitties sure do crack me up.
* * *
Spot, about to freak out and run away. Cameras scare him. Dust scares him. Silence scares him, noise scares him. You get the idea.
Oh, “meh” yourself, you Tubby bastard.
A year ago: He’s a gem amongst men, is what he is.
Two: Is it just me, or was Reese Witherspoon totally channeling Christine Taylor’s Marcia Brady?
Three: Fred thinks I have the hots for DA Richard Bay
Four: Sometimes I just can’t find the time to drag my ass away from the couch and junkfood to update. You know that’s what you love about me.]]>
Are those nude photos of Jessica Lynch included in the center section of the book? Just wondering.
“Meh yourself, you Tubby bastard.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Poor Robyn.
Oh the trials and tribulations we go through to keep these pets!
Good luck! If you have success I am observing carefully so I’ll know what to do here if it happens!
Mike
Hi! Just reading about your Tubby problem, you may also want to try white vinegar with hot water, 1/2 and 1/2 solution. Saturate the carpet and then either suck it up with the steamer or use a cotton towel to bring the moisure up. I have 3 VERY portly cats and when accidents happen, the vinegar and water really works!! Just a thought.
hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I LOVED the movie!!!! Man, that is one SERIOUSLY pissed off Poo, and who can blame her? Is screwing with her head Stanley Bean’s hobby?
Yeah, my mom swears by the vinegar thing. Of course, your bedroom will smell like a jar of mofo dill pickles, but perhaps that’s better than smelling like a Tubby-On-The-Spot. Bwa! I slay myself!
You need to start up the WWCF, World Wrestling Cat Federation…have the WWCF Smack Down every week, it’s always a hoot to see the kitties give each other the major smack down! I don’t agree with you on the Judge thing, he was standing up for what he feels is right and what most of our laws are based upon.
Oh, how I sympathize. Last weekend we awoke to a disaster–one of the cats had shit & peed on rugs in all 3 of our bathrooms. I was SO pissed (no pun intended!). Figured out it was our fat-ass cat, who I guess has decided he is too old & fat to get into the covered litterbox any longer. No more lid, no accidents since then. But now I need to go replace 3 damn bathmats since they look like crap now that I’ve washed them. Never ends, does it? LOL!
GodDAMN that movie is hilarious. Especially the part at the end when the Bean shakes his head like “what the fuuuu?” and then jumps off the couch. Miz Poo triumps. Ha! Too funny.
My personal favorite moment is when Miz Poo wraps her hind foot around The Bean…..the war cry is pretty good, too, though!
Robyn I feel your pain. Or rather my parents feel your pain. They have had a cat for ten years now and for all ten years she has pee’d on every inch of carpet in the house. They finally got tired of cleaning carpets and put hardwood floors in just about all the rooms in the house. Surprisingly it wasn’t that expensive and they went through Home Depot. You should look into it.
1st, that was an epic smackdown! It was great. I watched it three times. 🙂
2nd, maybe Tubby is pissed off that he isn’t getting any of the profits from selling t-shirts with his picture on them? (Pun slightly intended)
🙂
My Lena is a scaredy-cat like Spot – super-twitchy and afraid of everything. Also highly neurotic. She used to go outside sometimes (not anymore, thanks to our crazy cat-trapping neighbor) and if a breeze picked up she’d spaz out and sprint back inside.
whatever happened with the spud and the homecoming thing? why weren’t there any pictures? did i miss something?
Most Excellent cat fight! I love the little tail twitch Bean-man does at the end.
Hallelujah! Fucking sanctimonious ‘I am above the law’ judge. Ex-judge. Ha.
Robyn, I know I’m a little late on this, but a great thing to blot up urine with is a disposable diaper. I discovered this one night when I let my two-year-old run around without a diaper a little too long. I grabbed a diaper and blotted it up, and it worked AMAZINGLY well. We got a new kitten three weeks ago, and the dog let us know her opinion of this by peeing in the house twice. The diaper worked fabulous. I may have to keep a cheap pack of diapers on hand from now on, once I get my little guy potty trained.
The war cry is fanfuckingtastic!! 😀
Hi Robyn!
I have been reading your journal for a while and really enjoy it, you just crack me up every day! I just thought I might give you a suggestion for a product to remove the urine stain and odor from your carpet. My husband and I own a pet store and in my experience the very best product any of my customers has ever tried is by Brampton. It’s called Simple Solution Cat Urine and Stain Remover. You might give it a try. Hope this helps.
Meh, with my best rotting fish piss-breath! (joke)
Check this link: http://www.northshorecare.com/skincare1.html and go to the bottom of the page for odor eliminator. It’s mean for humans, but I’m sure it’d work with cats, too. Don’t ask me how I know about this. You don’t want to know.
Hi Robyn, just wanted to share a recipe for eliminating those foul urine odours. My cat has taken a fancy to peeing repeatedly on our couch lately and this is the only thing that’s worked. It was invented for skunk odours, btw.
For an 8 oz container, mix 7.5 oz of 3% hydrogen peroxide, 1 level teaspoon of baking soda and 1 drop of liquid hand soup. Stir with plastic spoon for 1 minute. (keep container open at all times)
Then saturate area on carpet (+ surrounding bits where he might’ve sprayed) with mixture and let it dry for 1-2 days. If there is any residue after drying, just vacumn it up or mop with damp sponge and water. Good luck! 🙂
Prosolve? I don’t know if they sell it in the US, but I works really well for cat barf (I know gross).
hallelujah, and a freakin’ kumbayah, too.
It’s a good thing you Alabamans ousted that judge, otherwise I woulda had to lump you in with the Floridians and the Californians.
My mom and dad had a cat that peed on every single inch of carpet they had. They tried everything in the free world ..and frankly, it only made it worse. Cat pee, not to be mistaken with any other pee, has an enzyme in it that no matter what you use, will ALWAYS attract moisture to that spot. Do you ever notice that the spot never really dries …its almost even oily? Then, because of a mild flood a few years ago around this time …carpets had to come up and the floor coverings replaced. Even after using all the potions and lotions …when the water hit those carpets and the emergency flood restoration people were there …the smell was so freakin gross… i was embarrassed. Needless to say ..they replaced the carpets with a hardwood type flooring. Not the real mccoy …but quality stuff nonetheless. If you are thinking of just one room …there are many options available out there in flooring …because everything you are doing right now with the baking soda, tin foil, potions etc …will just not work for the long term.
I didn’t hear you laughing much in the movie, but I did hear Bean’s war-cry, and it kinda sounded like a rooster noise…