HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, BABY! I LOVE YOU!!!
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THIS SECTION CONTAINS SURVIVOR SPOILERS FOR LAST NIGHT’S SHOW!!!
Okay, HOW FUCKING COOL WAS THAT??? I thought Drake and Morgan were going to shit when they saw the Outcasts appear. TOO FUCKING COOL!! I was immediately rooting for them to win, and was THRILLED when they did. And I’m not particularly a fan of any of the Outcasts, although I like Lillian and Skinny Ryan, I guess I just tend to pull for the underdog.
Andrew needs to GET the fuck over himself, though. What was that shit he was spouting, about how none of the outcasts deserve to be on “this beach”? Tell me exactly why Lillian was voted off? Oh yeah, because she lost the popularity contest to Mush Mouth – I’m remembering that correctly, aren’t I? Wasn’t it a matter of Lillian, who worked her ass off constantly, versus Mush Mouth, who sat around and looks pretty until she opens her mouth?
Best. Twist. EVER.
Also, I love that Andrew was all “Well, we’re just going to vote whoever comes back out at the first opportunity!” until someone (Ryan?) said “No, they’re immune at the first tribal council after they’re back.” HA!
I was SO glad to see Osten go, because this whole “I’m ready to go!” thing he’s been doing since, like, day 2 was seriously getting on my nerves. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jeff Probst get so pissed at seeing someone give up. I think Jeff’s forgetting B.B. from Pulau Tiga, who
asked to be voted out, and I’m pretty sure I remember Jenna asking to go at some point last season, didn’t she? Fucking Osten. What a wimp.
I take exception with Jon referring to himself as “loyal” to Drake, especially after he tried to vote Rupert off last week. Jon is amazingly annoying and I cannot believe he’s made it this far.
I fear for Rupert once the tribes merge (if they merge!). He’s clearly the strongest one out there, and they’re going to be gunning for his ass immediately. He’s going to need to win every single immunity challenge to make it to the end, I think.
(If you comment on
Survivor in the comments, please put SURVIVOR SPOILER at the top of your comment so as not to spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the show yet. Thanks!)
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When Fred got home from work yesterday, he and I headed upstairs to lay down and talk about our day. As usual, Fred stripped down to his t-shirt and underwear, and then shut the bedroom door in case the spud came to ask or tell us something, and was scarred for life by seeing him in his underwear.
(Or something hanging out of his underwear – he wears fairly loose underwear. In case you were wondering.)
We lolled about on the bed and talked about various and sundry things, and then we heard the sound of a cat scratching at something. Fred turned to look at Tubby, who was scratching at a pillow propped up against the wall. He got up and moved the pillow out of the way, and then I heard it.
The sound of rushing water. Rushing as it left Tubby’s bladder and splattered all over the wall and floor.
I wanted to fucking drop-kick him across the floor, because even with me yelling at him, he just squatted there and peed for a long, long time. The fucker must have had a gallon of stinky cat pee in his stinky cat bladder. Certain that if I stayed in the room I would end up killing Tubby, I stomped downstairs and let Fred deal with it. After looking, I realized that I had used the rest of the container of
Nature’s Miracle EARLIER THIS GODDAMN WEEK WHEN TUBBY PEED ON THE CLOTHES THAT WERE LAYING ON THE FLOOR IN THE CLOSET.
Don’t be emailing or commenting and telling me to take Tubby to the vet. He goes through random stages where if we leave something on the floor, he pees on it. He’s always done it, and the vet can find nothing wrong with his stupid ass. We can go for months and months with him not doing it, and then all of a fucking sudden he does it a few times. Asshole.
So I grabbed the spud and we went to the pet store to buy some Nature’s Miracle – a big jug along with a spray bottle – and when I got home I poured an assload of the stuff where Tubby had peed, and I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF HE DOES IT ONE MORE TIME I’M GOING TO
DROP KICK HIM, JESUS, THROUGH THE GOAL-POSTS OF LIFE.
I hate Tubby. I HATE HIM. And I don’t mean that I hate him in the way that people SAY they hate a cat when secretly they adore it. HATE. HIM. Don’t try to tell me I don’t hate him, because I really and truly do. I can admit that he’s amusing sometimes, but he’s never amused me so much that I can forgive his peeing a fucking gallon of stinky cat pee not three feet from my BED.
Asshole.
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1. What was your first Halloween costume? I don’t know what my first costume was, but the first one I can
remember is my witch costume. I think I was a witch for several years in a row.
2. What was your best costume and why? Oh, probably the witch costume. Although, my Sophomore year of high school, I painted my face green and black with greasepaint and wore a camouflage chamois shirt. I got sent home by the vice principal – who continues to be a dickhead to this day, I’m sure – to wash my face because it was “distracting to the other students.” Horseshit.
3. Did you ever play a trick on someone who didn’t give you a treat? Nope, never.
4. Do you have any Halloween traditions? (ie: Family pumpkin carving, special dinner before trick or treating, etc.) Not really.
5. Share your favorite scary story…real or legend! I like the one about the couple who were making out at Lover’s Lane and heard the story on the radio about the escaped criminal with a hook for a hand, and the girl got scared, so they left. When they got to the girl’s house, hanging on her door handle was… A HOOK!!! I have no idea why I like that story so much, but I do.
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In the interest of clearing out my memory stick, I’m going to post a buttload of pictures so that I can start November anew.
I’m a bean. I’m a bean! I’m a bean-beanie-bean!
He’s a lip-licking fool.
I love the way the fur around his mouth and nose is a lighter shade of gray than the rest of him.
SniffSniffSniff
Smackdown!
If you look closely at the Bean, you can see that he is in the middle of a war cry. Spot is less than impressed.
The Bean and that bastard Tubby. Whom I hate. Is it just me, or does the Bean look guilty?
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HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! WHOO!
Nice earings you had there :0P
Thanks, Nance. 🙂
Rebecca – aren’t they what all the witches were wearing in the early 70s? 🙂
Happy Anniversary! Hope you get the BIG bunch of flowers!
Would it be disloyal to say I love Tubby? He has the sweetest face! Ok, I don’t love the peeing thing — AT ALL. But I love the Tubs.
And why does the bean always look surprised?
Maybe the Bean saw Fred in his loose underwear?
Stinky cat pee….sounds like something my kids would call each other!
Oh yeah!! And Happy Anniversary, you two wild and crazy kids!
“… And that bastard Tubby. Whom I hate.” you slay me. 🙂 my cat Asa is an asshole too, sometimes if his litterbox isn’t pristine enough for his furry ass, he’ll shit on the couch… or my bed. To which I go screaming about at him “ASA JERMAINE YOU ARE A BAAAD BOY!” … I hate him when he does that too.
I also wanted to ask if you and fred had a big wedding or a little to do, and what made you pick halloween?
I have a really spoiled cat who, if he doesn’t think he’s getting enough attention, will pee on something. He’s also been known to get into powder milk or flour when he feels like acting like a little jerk. One morning I opened my pantry to find the floor covered with powdered milk. It looked like he had been in there making snow angels in it. I wonder if his life was flashing before his eyes while he was making the snow angels. 😉
Happy Anniversary you two!
Well, the first thing I was gonna do was tell ya to take him to the vet. One of our cats that was peeing everywhere ended up being diabetic and that’s one of the ways she was showing she was sick. But then you went and said you’ve been taking him. I feel for ya, I really do. Not much can be done about it if there’s no sickness involved. Good luck.
Get that cat on Buspar! My little bastard used to pee if he got pissed off and after countless treks to the vet to check his kidneys, check for diabetes, check for this and that, blahblahblah, the vet suggested that he may have anxiety and that I should consider the Buspar. Now, the only anxiety he’d ever shown in the past was if he could see the bottom of his food bowl. I mean, how much fucking anxiety can a fucking cat fucking have??? Anyway, as a last ditch effort we tried the Buspar and it worked. He was on it for quite awhile and eventually we stopped giving it to him (though I can’t really remember why–laziness, I’d bet). He’s still “cured”.
Good luck with the Tubster. If you ever got rid of him, he’d be sorely missed (by people who never have to deal with his stinky cat pee).
Happy Anniversary Fred and Robyn! May you enjoy many, many more happy and laughter-filled years together!
Happy Anniversary!!!
Happy Anniversary!!
As for Tubby…I never cared for him. Sell him to the circus or something.
I had a cat when I first got married 200 years ago and she would do the same thing….outta the blue she’d pee on something. After a while, I figured out she was only peeing on my ex-husbands stuff.
Looking back, I think she had the right idea.
Love, LOVE the Miz Poo and Beaney smackdown.
Cat pee…nothing nastier! Thought this would bring a chuckle to your day…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fuck&f=1
Happy Aniversary!
i don’t recall jenna asking to be voted off last season, i thought it was shauna. and then she cheered up when the boys arrived.
anyway, happy anniversary!
the bean looks like an old man in that first picture. ha!
Happy Anniversary! Personally, I think Tubby looks guiltier. I mean, no eye contact! And the pee!
Dumbchick – you’re right, Shauna! Duh. 🙂
Allison – we got married at a small wedding chapel about three miles from our house. It was just Fred, the spud, and I, and it was pretty casual (Fred wore shorts and a button-up shirt; I wore black pants and a sweater). It was a saturday, and our schedule for the day was: Get up, attend soccer game, take afternoon nap, get married, go trick-or-treating, eat dinner. 🙂
Also, thanks for your happy anniversary wishes, y’all. 🙂
Happy anniversary… and many more!
I knew you had it in ya! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes…a cat who looks you right in the eye and pees IN YOUR ROOM is deserving of hate. Not cute hate, but CAT hate. You are not giving him to me, though. So just don’t even think it.
Hummmm…. I seem to recall similar comments about Fancy Pants a couple of years ago. You ended up calling him the Mad Shitter. Perhaps Tubby’s new moniker could be the Mad Pisser?
Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary!
whoah dude…I was just on my way to the pet store to buy some stuff to clean up the piss pools my stinky boy has been leaving here and there….(that little fucker) and then I read your entry and now I know EXACTLY what I’m gonna buy to clean it up. (I work across the street from a petsmart even!) The only bad thing is that he pissed on a box of nothing but electronic parts (wires/tools/computer junk) how the hell am I supposed to clean that up? If you have any hints I’d like to know please. Was that a “hitler salute” you’re doing in the camo costume pic? Or a “I’m too sexy for my gun” pose? 🙂 Either way, Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary!!!!! Woo-hoo.
Sweetie. Maybe it’s a fat cat thing. Fred’s done the same thing. He’s just lucky he hasn’t done it while I’m around. (grumble)
Try getting some Feliway (http://www.feliway.com/), it really helps with random drive-by cat pissing. We have the plug-ins scattered all over the house and also I use the concentrated spray on those ‘problem’ areas. I highly recommend it.
Oh, Happy Anniversary, too 🙂
Happy Anniversary! *insert obligatory singing of the anniversary song from “The Flintstones”*
My cat pees all over like that. You can yell and yell at him but he just sits there with that dazed look in his eyes and pisses a gallon. Fuckin’ STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and my cat is so used to being called ‘asshole’ that he no longer responds to his name of ‘Baby’ only ‘Asshole’. Sure the vet would love to have that in his records. HA!
Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SURVIVOR SPOILER
Happy Anniversary!
I need someone to loathe, so I guess I’m glad Jon is around for another week. Don’t you think that Jeff hates him?
And is it just me, or does he have freakishly long fingers?
Happy Anniversary guys! My husband and I just celebrated our 26th. Hard to believe seeing as I’m only 29. ;~)
Robyn, our male cat used to do nasty things like peeing in the middle of our comforter and in my daughter’s bean bag chair until we finally happened to hit on something that quelled him. Apparently, he preferred to have two sandboxes rather than just one in the house (he was the alpha cat.) My husband is very good about keeping the box clean but I guess he didn’t want to share with his sister. He mainly used the one upstairs and she used the one downstairs.
Might be worth a try?
Getting in late just wanted to wish you a happy anniversary!!! I am in complete agreement about the 2nd marriage thing, my second marriage is 11 plus years strong and every day I wish I would of found him first.
Survivor rocks. (no spoiler alert needed for that) lets just say I agree 100% with your way of thinking.
You are better than me..Tubby would of been gone the first pisser!! I HATE cat piss!! HATE IT! And I am still ROFLMAO at the drop kick me jesus line..LOL I have not heard that in years.
Oh and your little witchypoo (hee baby bitchypoo) picture is adorable!!! You were a cutie for sure..
Happy Anniversary !!!!!!
Thanks for telling us about Nature’s Miracle. I didn’t know that such a product existed. I will run to PetSmart tomorrow and get some.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
As for the kitties, if you didn’t know Stanley has a bum tail, or were just looking quickly, the pic titled “Smackdown” looks like Stanley is about to PEE on Poo.
Hope you had a great Halloween 🙂
Happy Anniversary! Sorry I’m so late, but I’ve been remiss in checking my email. I’m one year into my second marriage and I totally agree with your statement.
I think Rupert needs to join Andrew in getting over himself. He acted like a child having a tantrum when Drake returned to camp after TC. Does he expect no one to ever vote for him? He has a God complex and is becoming very annoying. Of course, not at annoying as Jon.
As a long time reader of your journal, I saw this site and thought you might like it if you haven’t seen it already: http://www.subversivecrossstitch.com/
And Happy Anniversary!