most recent entry, I realized that it had been ages since I’d Nair’d off my now-full and lush mustache. I use the Nair made especially for the face and I’ve never had a problem with it, aside from a small amount of redness that usually goes away overnight.
So yesterday morning, after working out and cooling down, I headed upstairs to doing some Nairing. I slathered the Nair above my lip and around my chin (making a Nair beard, sort of), and proceeded to clean out the drawer that is located between my sink and Fred’s sink.
It’s amazing how much old medicine for the cats we tend to hold on to. I think I tossed about half the crap in that drawer.
Ten minutes after I put the Nair on my face – the time limit suggested on the back of the bottle is ten minutes, and I have some stubborn whiskers on my face, so I go right up to the ten minute mark – I went into the bathroom to wash it off.
Imagine my surprise when a layer of skin came off with the Nair. It FUCKING HURT, people, and it hadn’t hurt at all until I wiped it off. And I’ve NEVER had this problem before! I slapped some soothing hydrocortisone cream on the red skin, hoping that would take away some of the redness.
It did not. The skin itched and burned and hurt and caused me all manners of pain. When I could bear to look at myself in the mirror, I appeared to have a red beard entirely around my mouth and chin. A blotchy red beard.
And, no. I did NOT take a picture, thank you.
Last night at bedtime, I recalled the bottle of aloe we keep under the sink, and since aloe is so very soothing and surely meant for just such an occasion, I retrieved it and slathered it liberally on the red skin, and then I waited for the soothing. Which did not come. It STUNG, and for a good ten minutes.
“It got redder after you put the aloe on,” Fred observed.
“That’s because it fucking HURTS!” I yelled.
Never occurred to me to go wash it off, though. Duh.
This morning, thankfully, it’s a lot better. I have a scablike spot below and to the left of my nose, and another one a bit lower, but I could almost go out in public without being pointed at. Almost.
I’m sure if I was going to JournalCon this year it would be a lot worse, since that’s how it usually works out.
* * *
Possible The Bachelor spoilers in this section.
I just hate that fucking L3e Ann. I HATE HER. Which sucks, because I think she’s just adorable as can be. YET I LOATHE HER. This shit the bachelorettes are pulling in the last few seasons of
The Bachelor, where they say “Oh, I’m not HERE to make FRIENDS, I’m here to be with
The Bachelor!” Yeah? Well, that’s all good and everything, but there is NO fucking reason to be an obnoxious twat-head while she’s there. What the fuck does it hurt to be nice to the other people? And why whine about being shut out by the other girls, when she runs around being such an ass? HOW can she, with a STRAIGHT FUCKING FACE, claim that they’re shutting her out because she has such a deep and abiding “connection” with Bob? Personally, I think this “connection” is all in her mind. I could KILL Bob for giving her a rose last night, I really could.
My money says that Le3 Ann and Mer3dith will be the last two standing, and Mer3dith will come out the winner. Please, please, PLEASE.
Yeah, I know. I need a life. Shaddup.
* * *
I think I must be coming down with something. Not only did I clean out the drawer in our bathroom yesterday, but after Fred went to bed last night I cleaned the entire bathroom, dusted the entire upstairs, and cleaned out the crap under our respective bathroom sinks.
How many bottles of rubbing alcohol DOES one family need, anyway?
This morning I scrubbed out the litter boxes, vacuumed the entire upstairs, mopped the bathroom and laundry room, cleaned the kitchen (including cleaning out the refrigerator), vacuumed the entire downstairs – INCLUDING THE STAIRS – and took all the trash out. Also, I cleaned out the junk drawer in the kitchen – how many syringes to give medicine to cats DOES one family need, anyway? If you said twelve, you’d be right, apparently – cleaned out the closet off the kitchen, and cleaned out under the kitchen sink.
I don’t think the house has been this clean since we moved in.
And I’m not done yet. I’m making vague plans to dust the entire downstairs, clean and straighten all the bookshelves in the library, and go around with the swiffer to get all the cobwebs that form around the ceilings.
Kind of scary, isn’t it?
* * *
This morning, while Fred was getting ready for work, Miz Poo was eating. The cats like to hang out in the bathroom and eat while we’re in there, for some reason. Stanley came happily along, and sat down next to Miz Poo. Casually, he reached his head forward to grab a piece of food.
Ears back, Miz Poo growled at Stanley and then reached out with her Paw O’ Doom and slapped him soundly on the top of his little head. Stanley responded by putting his ears all the way back and glaring at her. She went back to eating, and Stanley again put his face in the dish to get some food.
Again with the growl and the slap. It happened two or three more times, and then finally Miz Poo gave up. That’s right, folks, she GAVE UP. She walked away from the food dish, sat down next to the tub, and glared at Stanley as he ate.
I believe Miz Poo’s reign of terror is about at an end.
* * *
He fell asleep like this. He’s a very heavy sleeper.
Yawwwwwwwwwn.
I love this picture of Gizmo and her big sister Dulcinea. Why do I have the feeling that a smackdown is about to happen?
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Oh my. I think you ARE coming down with the domestic version of the bug which does not have a name that I know of. I caught a brief case of it this morning but then cured myself by sitting down and reading blogs. Yours included.
And Stanley is too cute for words but I was really hoping y’all would name him Stumpy.
Is Gizmo for sure a girl now?
I’m kinda sad about the Miz Poo thing… =o(
okay, so i caught some of the bachelor last night. (i’ve been trying to not get addicted to this one after having been seriously addicted to the seasons with aaron and andrew.) is it just me, or are the girls in this season not as attractive as the girls in previous seasons? has anyone else thought that?
Robyn, dear! Leave the cobwebs for a few weeks until after Halloween. It’ll save on decorating expenses. Ha!
Yeah, Gizmo’s definitely a girl, as verified by a vet.
I’m a little sad about the Miz Poo thing, too. But perhaps she’ll get a second wind and really kick his ass next time. That, or they’ll become snuggle buddies.
The problem with the Nair may have been that you applied it immediately after exercising. Your skin tends to be more sensitive after exercising.
can you come do my house next? i’ll pay! now that i’m pregnant i have NO energy to clean 🙁 and hiring a maid does not work because they only surface clean and my house needs some organization. ugh! i’ll get around to it… one day!
Oh Robyn!!! I am SO sorry! I’m nearly healed, so the good news is that the damage doesn’t last long if you slather it in ointment — I’ve been using Neosporin and Kiehl’s Vitamin A, D & E Ointment.
Poor woman!
Wow. I need some Nair, too, I guess, ’cause our house is pretty dirty, too. I’m assuming that once it rips off your uppermost layer of skin it’s absorbed into your bloodstream and thus makes you clean like crazy. What a neat side effect!! 😉
Yow! I had a similar reaction the last time I used Nair, about 15 years ago. I’d never had a problem with it before, but that time when I put it on, after about 5 minutes I started having this ominous burning sensation all over my legs. After I rinsed it off, I had what looked like burns on my legs. Ouch. I’ve stuck with shaving the legs and waxing the ‘stache ever since!
I will never touch Nair again. That’s some dangerous crap. I once tried to use it for my eyebrows. Like you, it ate through the skin, and that’s some very sensitive skin right there above the eyelids, so for days… my eyes were puffy, swollen, raw, pussy and nearly closed. I wore caps, bandanas, anything to hide behind when I was in public. It was hideous. People probably thought I’d had plastic surgery. Nope. Nair never again. And people actually use that stuff near their you know what. :O
WAX not Nair. It lasts longer, it is even cheap at a salon and no chemicals. WAX WAX WAX. Wax on wax off if you will. I pay about 10 bucks to get it done at a salon…
Fitchlet – Good point, I never thought of that!
Erin, it’s my own fault, ’cause I’m so suggestible. Don’t go jumping off any bridges anytime soon, okay? 🙂
Amber – am I a freak that thinking that organizing the houses of strangers would be kind of fun? 🙂
Nair did that to me one time so I switched to Surgi Cream it is at Walmart and it does not make me red at all and does not hurt or smell as bad. Waxing is too painful for me, I am a weenie.
I am glad someone suggested it to me. Good luck.
Also, I have been reading but due to a new job have not been commenting.
I think Stanley is a perfect name and he looks like the perfect kitty.
*giggle* In the first picture of Stanley (sleeping), he looks like he has wings growing out of his butt. 😀 Thanks for a good laugh!
JoAnna – oh, did we not mention that he has wings growing out of his butt? 🙂 Hee!
Oh Stanley is just too cute! I’m so happy to hear he’s no pushover either.
As for the nair…been there. However, a lazy former boyfriend of mine once used my leg nair on his face to avoid shaving. Oh my gawd! His whole face was raw for days…and he couldn’t tell anyone how it happened. I just laughed my ass off.
OK – I am so disappointed that we did not get a picture of your face all red from the Nair – you always share with us!!!!!!!!! And I am right there with you sister on that bitch LeAnn – I hate her!!!!!!!
Oh Robyn, I totally agree with you about The Bachelor! Last night I kept saying, “I hate her!” about Le Ann and my husband would laugh at me. He loathes that show but enjoys watching me watch it. My most hated comment from the girls on that show…”I DON’T compete for men! I am not here to compete for a man.” DUDE WHATEVER! Have you never seen this show before? Isn’t it ALL ABOUT competing for a man. Sheesh!
I forgot to say that our cats like to be with us when we are in the bathroom too. As if they are missing out on something important. Maisey can be sound asleep but if one of us goes into the bathroom, she has to come in too to see what we are doing. Then, once we’ve flushed the toilet, she jumps up on top of it and watches the water swirl down. Also…I am rooting for Meredith!
Amy, I said that EXACT SAME THING about competing for a man. I think she’s on the WRONG show if she’s not interested in competing, that’s for damn sure.
I just went and looked at her profile on the ABC site, and check this out:
Q: Why would you want to try to find your husband on a TV show?
A: Why not? This is a fun way to make friends, have a good time and maybe find a husband
It appears she was willing to make friends at SOME point.
I’m excited that next week we get to see Bachelor Jamie from The Bachelorette. He’s adorable!
I TOTALLY agree with you on The Bachelor thing. I think Lee-Ann is going to be this season’s Kirsten, but instead of having a secret boyfriend, she’s going to have a mental illness.
And it’s totally going to be Lee-Ann vs. Meredith. GO MEREDITH!
When I’m PMSing I turn into a bit of a control freak and that includes controlling my environment and I go into a cleaning tyraid (along with other tyraids I won’t mention). Could this be an explanation for your cleaning frenzy Robyn?
Nope, not for another week yet, Vicki. I think that at some point I just get fed up with the state of the house and want it to look un-nasty RIGHT NOW.
Plus, I took today off from exercising, so I had some extra energy!
My father in law has a Nair story. He and he brother were getting ready in a motel to see a George Jones concert. They didn’t have any razors but someone did bring some Nair. Needless to say, they had one painful concert. I can only use it on my lip for about 3 minutes and it is HARSH stuff. Maybe ‘staches and unibrows will become in style soon. None of the hair removal options are anything to look forward to. You reminded me I couldn’t find my tweezers last night…
You aren’t nesting are you??? Just before I found out I was pregnant for the 2nd time I was a cleaning MANIAC!
Huh. I don’t think you guys ever really ruled out children did you??
Love napping kitty picture. I sure wish my boy kitty would back down like Miz Poo does. All we have is hissing and fighting around here. It really sucks.
I won’t be able to read your journal for a whole WEEK! we are on our way to Disney tomorrow night! I’ll have to catch up when I get back!!
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hey at least nair works for u. i put it on my chin, wait the alotted amt of time, wash it off, and my hair goes “and what the hell do u think you’re doing?” it mocks me. wax is all i got. one day i’m gonna get one of those permanent fixes like the celebs. *sigh* one day.
cats are too cute.
I just LOVE the cat pictures. Stanley looks a lot like my little Chloe. Except for the tail, of course 🙂 Keep them coming please!!!
Love the passed out Stanley pic. That looks like a cat that has put a hard day in at the office. I have to say though that I prefer to think of Miz Poo CHOOSING to tolerate an uppidty youngster than think of her being defeated.
Long may she reign.
Long Live Bachelor BOB…
Stanley is just waaaaaaay tooooo cute.. what cat sleeps sitting up?
Robyn… estimated that you prolly spent 2 hours cleaning the house right? Just think you burned off about 550 calories… now you deserve a cupcake…. mmmmm cupcake!