Door to Door last night, when something caught my eye and I glanced at the floor. A small cockroach trundled along the rug, went between Fred’s feet, and under the love seat. I made a face and pointed to the spot between his feet. “Ew,” I said. “There’s – ”
Immediately, screaming like a little girl, Fred levitated across the room to the fireplace, where he began dancing a jig, slapping at his legs, and screaming intermittently.
I collapsed in a heap, laughing so hard I could barely breathe. Fred, not appreciating the humor of the situation yet, glared at me from across the room.
It is my goal in life to get that scream on tape so y’all can enjoy it as well.
He said.
* * *
The
Patricia Heaton book is chatty and amusing. I’ll probably be giving it three stars, unless it goes to shit in the last third of the book.
Still looking forward to starting the
Al Franken book.
Between the
Dr. Phil book, the Patricia Heaton book, and the Al Franken book, this is more nonfiction than I’ve read in the entire last year!
* * *
POSSIBLE SURVIVOR SPOILERS; SKIP TO THE NEXT SECTION IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET
Was I surprised to see Drake win both challenges? Nope. Was I surprised to see the Morgan people call Sandra a bitch for taking their tarp? Nope. (And as a side note, I could NEVER have gone to the other tribe’s camp and taken something like that. I would have been all “Yeah, I’ll take this rock right here.” Because Morgan had so much less than Drake, and I would have just felt sorry for them. Because that’s the kinda gal I am!) And was I surprised to see Skinny Ryan go? Again, nope. I was disappointed, though, because I thought he was way more likeable than Osten could ever be.
I’m going to predict that if Drake loses the next Immunity Challenge, Lillian will be the next to go. Of course, that’s an easy prediction.
Have I mentioned that I love this show?
* * *
We also watched
Extreme Makeovers last night. I love that show, but god. If I have one piece of advice for y’all, it is this: Please DO NOT LET ANYONE INJECT ANYTHING INTO YOUR LIPS, EVER. Because the result is so achingly plastic looking that no one will ever believe for a single second that those are your real lips.
I feel your thin-lipped pain, because I have the thinnest lips ever, but the day will never come when I want fat taken from one part of my body and injected into my lips. Never.
(Although it would be fun to have fat taken from my ass and injected into my lips so I can tell people that Fred kisses my ass all the time. Yes, I’m a 12 year-old boy.)
* * *
Yeah. Not a whole lot going on around here today. I think I’ll toss up a few extra kitty pictures and call it a day!
* * *
Tubby and Spanky sleep in those cat beds ALL day long.
Unless Tubby hears me open a window (no, our neighbors haven’t gotten their fence repaired yet. Grr.)
Miz Poo is offended by Tubby’s existence and smacks at him. He just ignores her and she eventually goes away.
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It looks like Miz Poo is biting Tubby’s ass!
Heh..guess Miz Poo read your kiss my ass comment Robyn!
Boy, I hope you get the opportunity to record Fred’s scream.. I am having fun just imagining LOL. Sigh, it is fun when we catch our hubby in a “girlie” moment isn’t it?
Tubby looks huge compared to spanky in that first pic, and I second the biting ass comment above!
Robyn, I’ve been wondering if your neighbors think that it’s “your fence” and they are waiting on you to get it fixed.I was thinking about that when the accident first happened. What if 2 months go by and they still haven’t had it fixed?
I’m betting they are waiting to see if you and Fred will fix it. What do you think?
~Denise~
Miz Poo was biting at Tubby, but she never made contact. Because she knew that he’d kick her ass!
Denise – No, they actually said something along the lines of “That’s our fence” the night of the accident. I think they may have decided to go through their homeowner’s insurance rather than pay for it themselves. Or they just haven’t gotten around to it!
Just you wait, missy. The TRUTH about the roach will be shared soon, and the whole world will know it.
Y’all just crack my shit right up. Like it – like it!
Glad to know they are not trying to push it off on yall :o) Can’t wait to hear the “truth” behind the roach from Fred in his update. Heh !
~Denise~
My husband was involved in a car accident when he was younger where a twig ended up going through the skin right above his upper lip. You can guess where the skin graft was from… YUP! Kissin his ass all the time! 🙂
I am enjoying this years Survivor so much. I already know that I want Rupert to win. I love that he found his spear head. I can’t even believe that he found it actually. And no, not surprised at all that Drake won all the competitions.
I am laughing so hard over here about the roach story! I needed a good laugh today.
I totally would not have taken the tarp either. I never would have volunteered to go to the other tribe in the first place. But not because of the goodness of my heart. Oh hell no. Has Sandra never heard of MERGER? Does she think when the two tribes merge Morgan won’t remember how she came over and PULLED THEIR SHELTER DOWN and talked shit the whole time she did it? And got offended when Morgan didn’t want them to? Hello???
Y’all wouldn’t believe the depth of my sympathy for Osten. *rolls eyes* Can you believe he beat out thousands of other people to be on Survivor, and wants to quit in the first WEEK? WEENIE!
Do your screens get stretched out by Tubby’s tub? Been there. Oh yeah. Lips. Meg Ryan. That is all.
First: I don’t believe the whole Osten wanting to go home thing. I think it was a gambit to save him from the fate of being vote off for being strong. Second: you may be twelve, but join the club. I scratch my son’s head and say, “My butt itches” all the time.
We are all so immature! The running joke in our house (never heard by outsiders…) is if someone asks where something is without having looked for it first, we shrug and respond, “In your butt? Yep, go look there.”
Yeah, when I was in high school, the response to “Do you know where (something) is?” was always “If it was up your butt, you’d know it.”, and the response to THAT was “If it was up my butt, I’d have a RIGHT to know it.” Doesn’t particularly make sense, but we were some coooooool kids, yes indeedy.
I wanna know why you would buy poor little Tubby a smaller bed than you bought for Spanky? Spanky is just swmming in all that space!!
As far as girly screams……
My big strong man and I were watching TV one night when a commercial came on for a fabric softener and then a roach looks like it is crawling across you TV screen- it’s actually a commercial for Orkin. My “big strong man” leaped to his feet- kicked his shoe off and while perched with feet on the edge of the sofa screamed, “IS THAT A FUCKING ROACH ON THE TV????” He was huffing and puffing, I thought he was going to hyperventilate. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in my life….. I did actually roll off the sofa (yes, he did throw the shoe at the “roach”).
I’m so ashamed to admit this, but around here we say…
If it was up your ass kicking footballs, you’d know it!
And really, we don’t live in a trailer. Honest.
Niki – hee! I’ve seen that commercial! And Tubby and Spanky are in the same size beds, if you can believe it.
Nance: What I want to know is, if it can kick footballs why would it be up my ass? (Har! 🙂
Robyn I just had to subscribe to Fred’s update so I could get the 411 on the roach story. I feel like I am betraying you!! LOL
Don’t worry you are and always will be my favorite!! hehe I love his take on things. When Spud gets older she should get her blog goin then we can get 3 sides of the story!!
You two remind me of my hubby and I. We are the same age too and our son is Spud’s age. (and he is even my husbands stepson as well)
Think that is why I enjoy your blog so much you always seem to hit home and have the same point of view.
An aside, I was going to write what you did above, about the “If it was up your ass you would know!” I about rolled on that one! I thought yep Robyn, you took the words right out of my mouth again.
Kay, I would only consider it a betrayal if you stopped reading me in favor of him. 😉
You know, I just read Fred’s version of things, and I have to agree with you, he screams like a girl. You can just tell it. Oh well, nobody’s perfect.
Oh yeah- I’ve heard that scream come out of my own hubby’s mouth and its alllll girl! And they say we are the weaker sex.
Bullshit!
No worries there Robyn 😉