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Fred linked to this story in his forum. People, I will say it only once: if you do NOT buy from telemarketers who call and want to sell you crap, they will NOT make money, and telemarketing will go the way of the dodo bird.
Of course, we really don’t get calls from telemarketers because we never EVER provide our phone number to anyone, ever. If I place an order online and am required to provide a phone number, I provide this: (256) 555-1212. And good luck to anyone calling information for our number, because we’re unlisted.
Let’s all make a pact to never EVER buy anything from someone who calls trying to sell us something, mm’kay?
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Man. I went upstairs after I wrote the above to vacuum the upstairs and do some dusting and then take my shower. I had vacuumed everything but the master bedroom when I realized that the vacuum was making a loud noise. I turned it off so I could check the belt, and was disgusted by the amount of hair stuck around the, uh. The beater thing that turns around. I have no clue what the hell it’s called.
Just call me Jessica Simpson.
Anyway, there was a TON of hair stuck on that, and I ended up spending a good 10 minutes cutting and ripping the hair out. In retrospect I should have gone and gotten a screwdriver to take the cover off, which would have made things a bit easier, but it never occurred to me. When I was done, I had a pile the size of Miz Poo, and DAMN was it nasty. I can’t even blame it all on cat hair, because cat hair is short and goes right through the vacuum to the vacuum bag (which I don’t change out nearly often enough). This was human hair – specifically Robyn and Spud hair.
Gah.
There’s just so much shit I never think of doing. Cleaning out the air uptake filter thingy? Nope. Dusting the corners of the rooms to get rid of the cobwebs that form in 10 seconds flat? Nope. Changing out the vacuum cleaner bags and cleaning out the turning thingy on a regular basis? Nope. Dust the ceiling fans? Wash the windows? Clean the cat door? Nope, nope, and nope.
And on top of that is the stuff I just never get around to doing – cleaning out the fridge, wiping down the baseboards, cleaning the bathroom more often than twice a year.
(Okay, I’m kidding on that last one. Really!)
I know I make the house sound like a total pigsty, but it really isn’t THAT bad – just tending toward the messy and maybe cluttered. I guess it’s just that when it’s your own house, you notice the little things that people who visit don’t see.
Or at least they’re too nice to say anything to you.
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Holy god in heaven. I have Dr. Phil on in the background, and he just quoted the lyric “Guilty feet have got no rhythm”. Heh. Name that song!
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This is a blurry and grainy picture (I had to lighten it), but it absolutely cracks me up.
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I’m never gonna dance again, Jessica Simpson!
Wham!
I’m never gonna dance again or some shit…LOL
Am I quoting Robyn or some other journal?? “My idea of sweeping is a glance around the room.” Don’t worry about your housekeeping. Those jobs you mentioned can cause one to become a compulsive drudge.
It’s WHAM!, “Careless Whisper”. I’m so ashamed that I know that. It was my favorite album in 6th grade.
Faye, I have a magnet that says that! Heh.
Yep.. “Careless Whispers” by WHAM… ARGH! But 6th grade? Yikes! I was in high school! Now I feel old.
They (I have no idea who they are) say that you really only need to make sure your bathroom is clean (versus the entire house) because that’s the only room in the house that your guests will be in alone with nothing to do but look around. The nosy bastards.
Telemarketers have rights? Apparently the consumer’s were flushed. Those bastards. I always hang up!
As for Jessica, I know a male who gets turned on by dumb ass girls (he’s rather neanderthal anyway.) Maybe she thinks its sexy….we hope!
Save the changing of the vac bags: get a bagless. I always feel satisfied, and disgusted, when dumping a pile of vaccum crap out.
Always a pleasure to read!!
OK I would like to say something in defense of Jessica Simpson’s intelligence. Why I feel compelled to do so is beyond me. But I really think that the stuff she is so clueless about (like Buffalo wings and Chicken of the Sea) is because she had a record deal so young and she was never in “the real world.” Blame her parents. Now, I will defend her intelligence a tad but her behavior is something completely different. Have you EVER seen someone above the age of 15 so whiny and spoiled?????? If I were Nick I would just SLAP her! I would like to point out that even though I see tons of people complaining about Jessica since this show started, I don’t seem to notice anyone complaining about Nick. Is it just me, or does he seem way too down-to-earth and nice for her? I expected to laugh at both of them (I mean who makes their first year of marriage into a TV show????), but she is WAY more annoying than I ever thought, and he is WAY more likeable than I ever thought. I guess I just have an unflattering tendency to pre-judge ex-boyband members 🙂 OK done rambling.
Careless Whisper? I thought I was doing good just knowing it was Wham. You know what, I’m kinda glad I didn’t know the title of that song. It makes me feel better somehow. Ha!
They advertised on the news a couple of weeks ago about the Do Not Call Registry and for a few days it was free. Now as of October 1st if I get a call I can go to the website and turn their arses right over. HEH.
I love the kitty pic!! You are giving me kitty fever!
Jessica and her Buffalo Wings and her Chicken of the Sea! Sheesh! She is a train wreck.
Great, now I’m going to have that song in my head all day! 😉
CA – you’re right, her parents didn’t do her any favors. In fact, you could probably blame them for her spoiled brattiness, because you know they just coddled her to within an inch of her life.
I agree with Nick being down-to-earth. Not what you’d expect!
Another way to handle telemarketers – hang up. Funny, but Jane at http://www.plain-jane.com/index.jsp (shameless plug for ya too Jane! Hows that for covering your bases today?!) she talks about that very thing! Just “no thankyouverymuch and hang up. I have NEVER had a conversation with a telemarketer. I hate people. heh.
How sad is it that I still remember all the lyrics to Careless Whisper and if I’m alone in the car and it comes on the radio, I belt that sucker out! I don’t care, I’m not ashamed.
“the way I danced with yoooouuu-ooo. Oh-oooh.”
(Thanks, Robyn! 😉
I am so secure that I will admit RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW that I used to think buffalo wings were made of buffalo. In my defense! I live in Kansas! We can buy buffalo at the grocery store! It wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that they could be buffalo! Shit, now that I have Jessica’s brain, can I also have her boobs?
But Jane! Buffalo don’t have wings!
Chicken of the sea = Chicken
Buffalo wings = Buffalo
Next week:
Bumble Bee Tuna = Bumble Bees (mmmmmm Bumble Bees)
When I first started learning how to keep house (we had a little lady who came every day and took care of the kids too, she taught me everything as my mother had no concept of what to do!) One of the first things I learned was to clean the beater bar (you had it right Robyn) and pick the stuff out of it AND wash it in hot soapy water. You weren’t through cleaning till your equipment was clean too! It ran over to yard equipment, gardening tools, household tools, auto part work etc. also.
My favorite way to dispose of telemarketers…we let the 4 year old center of the universe answer all calls that show up as “unavailable”. She does a great job with them! When I get caught, my personal favorite is “My husband does that for a living” or I object to what they do on the basis of my religion. No matter what it is they are selling! The best i ever heard was on a blog (have to find it again) and the person calling was selling life insurance…the callee (is that the word) replied “I don’t need life insurance, I am imortal!”
Renee – exactly! Heh.
Joy – that is awesome! I kinda wish someone would try to sell me life insurance now. 🙂
I’ll admit it… I once spent more than 20 minutes on the phone with a telemarketer from MCI. This was even after I told him I couldn’t make decisions about phone stuff. While we were talking crap I told him he was probably being monitored and would get in trouble for shamelessly flirting on the phone instead of working. At this point, the person monitoring him cut in. I started cracking up.
On a completely seperate note, if you are purchasing over the internet, do your Merchant a favor and give them a valid phone number. I work for an ecommerce software company and whenever we get a large order we call the customer to verify that the order isn’t fraudulent. Providing an invalid phone number is a red flag for me when I review our orders. Its a giant pain in the ass for a small business to get a thousand dollar chargeback from a fraudulent order. I’ll stop rambling now.
Hmmm – never thought about that, Jessica! I don’t always give the information number, though, sometimes I give my cell phone number. Which I never answer. I do check the messages, though! 🙂
Beater bar? Oh man, I thought it was the buffalo bar.
God I loved Wham in junior high. George Michael and Andrew Ridgley (I am petty sure on that last name).
Robyn- I gotcha beat- 3 cats, a golden retiever (the long haired kind), a black lab, (who sheds like a bastard all year long) and a horse! I vacuum almost daily and change the vacuum bag weekly and my house still looks like a third world nation.
I don’t give a frogs fat ass and neither should you!
Jessucka is like a lot of people I know – dumb as a fox. As long as you play clueless and helpless, other people will lose patience and do your work for you. Until that buffalo wings thing, I really thought she was stupid, but you can tell by her facial expression that she knew she was acting stupid. Its worked for her up until now.
And Nick is no knight in shining armor. He reminds me of those passive aggressive men that attach themselves to women who act weak and in search of ‘daddy’ (hot bodies necessary of course) then they use that to boost their egos and complain about how bad they have it to get sympathy and attention from more females.
As for the do not call list – If they are losing such a great amount of money by being removed from your call list, it can only mean that a shitload of us are stupid enough to buy things that we dont want just because someone called us and asked.
Hint – when your phone rings and you pick it up and say ‘hello’ and there is a pause, hang up immediately. This is the automated system connecting you to an operator. If it turns out to be a friend or family member, they’ll call back 🙂
Call display is a wonderful wonderful thing, and I am surprised it hasn’t put telemarketers out of business already. I NEVER answer my phone, especially around dinner time, without checking the call display first. If it’s a number I don’t recognize, or that’s unidentified, I simply don’t pick up….ever. If it’s a rare legit call and the caller wants to get in touch with me badly enough, he/she will leave a message. But I know that 99% of the time these calls are somebody trying to sell me something, because one thing telemarketers never do is leave a message.
OMG!!! I about died when I heard Dr. Phil quote that!!! That is George Michael from Wham! I saw him during the Faith tour in Frankfurt, Germany at the Festhalle. I touched the man’s boot!!!!! I love Dr. Phil by the way but back in the 80’s, George stole my heart with his songs. I was an older fan of 31 back then!!!! Hubby was in the miltary so this was a big treat for us to see this concert.
I don’t know if you’ll see this since today’s post is already up, but I have a friend who is the aunt of Nick and she says Jess is really that dumb. I guess a lot of people have been asking her about it and she’s even gotten annoyed with it. Pretty darn sad.
Heh. How rude do people have to be to say “Hey. Is your niece really that much of a dumbass?”?