Allison said in her journal that she was hooked on Newlyweds (the MTV show with Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson), I looked to see when it was on, and voila! It was on yesterday afternoon, so I made a special point of checking it out. And I’m embarrassed to admit that I think I’m hooked, too. That Jessica, though, I don’t know about her. On the first show, they were eating something with tuna in it for dinner, and they’re sitting on the couch eating, and she says “Is this fish or chicken that I’m eating here?” And Nick gives her the “Please, babe. I’M TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME!” look and says “It’s tuna fish. We’ve had this before.” And she says “Well, why does it say “Chicken of the sea” on the can?” Oh my lord. And then they interviewed a maid to come organize their messy-ass house, and they were sitting and talking to her and Nick says “So, how much would you charge?” And the maid doesn’t come out and say “Oh, I charge blah-blah per hour”, she just kind of shrugs and stares at them, and birds chirp in the distance, and then finally Nick says “Well, let us show you around, then maybe you’ll have a better idea” and they show her around, and then she’s about to leave, and he says again, “So how much will you charge?” and the woman SHRUGS AND MUMBLES SOMETHING, and he finally says “Well, we can discuss it Wednesday when you come…” So she comes Wednesday and spends, like, 6 hours folding and putting away clothes and maybe cleaning the kitchen, and when she’s done for the day, he’s all “Okay, how much do I owe you?” AND SHE STILL WON’T COME OUT AND GIVE HIM A NUMBER. She shows him a check with a number on it or something, and he’s like “120? 140?”, and they finally decide on 120, so he goes and gets some cash and pays her, and then he’s talking to his friend (or maybe his brother) about whether $20 an hour was too much, and I’m thinking: Kids? Should you have not settled the money issue BEFORE she left the first day? These kids need someone to come organize their lives is what they need. And I think Jessica Simpson’s parents must have been about 10 years old when they had her, they’re so young looking. Nick was auditioning dancers for his video and Jessica was dealing with the jealousy of it all, and I thought “You know, I’m sure glad Fred’s not a singer who has to make videos with girls rubbing their booties all over him”, and then I remembered how Fred reacts when someone flirts with him, and I decided I’d kind of like to see strange girls try to rub their booties on him, just to watch him run screaming from the room. Any volunteers?
Tail feathers, and some Tubby hair.
I checked outside a few times through the evening but neither saw nor heard him again. The cats were a tad freaked out that the window was closed, and Spot walked around meowing his squeaky meow for a good part of the night, but this morning the little bird was nowhere to be seen. After we went and fed the cats at the pet store, we came home and Fred sat down to his computer and his coffee, while I headed upstairs to take a nap, because I hadn’t slept very well last night.
I’d been asleep about half an hour when I was startled awake. I took out an ear plug and heard a squeaking noise. I sat straight up and saw Fred running through the door. “Where did he go? Where is he?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said, and there was another immediate squeak. Fred dropped to his knees and looked under the bed, then began scolding Tubby. Eventually Tubby dropped the bird, and Fred held him up so I could see him. He was certainly bright-eyed and pissed off, squeaking and squawking and looking around. Fred grabbed a box and put him in it, and after thinking about it, decided to run him over to the vet’s office.
This afternoon Fred called the vet’s office to check on the bird, and unfortunately it had died before the vet could get to it.
Poor damn bird.
Evil looking, isn’t she?]]>
I caught that Newlyweds show the other day…and I think it’s hilarious that MTV isn’t cutting out any of the (many, MANY) things she does to make herself look stupid/immature/insecure. I mean it’s not like she’s not going to see it for herself. And I love the “Are you f*cking KIDDING me?” look Nick gives her pretty much every time she opens her mouth (see tuna fish episode). Too funny!
ooh – i wanna volunteer!
Dang it tubby, how do you run so fast?
have i asked before why the kitties don’t wear collars and bells? that might scare off the birds…. i don’t think i could deal with the bird thing very well either. poor birdies.
Pam – exactly. It was kinda cracking me up when she was like “Do we have a mop? I thought mops had stringy things coming off them…” What could her mother have been thinking?
Sharon – I don’t think it’s a matter of running so fast, I think it’s a matter of being very very still so that the birds don’t see you, and then grabbing them. I could be wrong, though – he does run awfully fast for his size.
Jen – Sheer laziness is the entire reason they’re not wearing collars and bells. We should definitely collar up Tubby at the very least, and possibly Spot.
Yeah, the Newlyweds is like a train wreck. That pile of laundry would spell D.I.V.O.R.C.E., though. And she acted like a helpless babe in the woods when she spilled flower water in the kitchen floor.
did you catch (in the episode with the auditioning dancers) when jessica goes out to buy bras and thongs and she buys 2 of each and it’s $750? and then she calls nick to tell him about it and says she can’t take them back and he tells her to look at the price tag before she buys things and so she gets pissed and HANGS UP ON HIM?? what the fuck is that about?
Oh man, the laundry! And she got it all washed and dried, and she was like “Oh, I’ll fold that later!” I was yelling “No, Jessica! It will wrinkle and then Nick will have to teach you to use the iron!”
And the $750? That is FUCKED UP. And who signs a credit slip without looking at the total? I got the impression she was hoping he’d just say “Oh, that’s okay baby, we’re rich!” Heh.
I find it very hard to believe that my Tubby is a killer. It WAS an accident.
Like the bird accidentally jumped into his mouth? 🙂
i love that jessica simpson and nick lachey. except, if i was jessica’s parents i would be extremely embarrassed that i had raised such a crybaby nitwit. she’s just so freaking stupid.
Heh – yeah, she doesn’t come across as the brightest bulb, does she? I think part of it is that she was simply never required to do anything for herself, she even admitted that.
Yes, the bird set him up. It was a suicidal bird who wanted to take Tubby down, dammit.
And oh yeah, The Newlyweds is my absolute favorite (for the time being) trainwreck show on television right now. Did you see last night’s show when Jessica & her mother were spooning on the hotel bed? Ewww, gross.
I am all sad now about the birdie.
I love the Newlyweds show!!! It’s such a great show! If they don’t quit fighting they won’t stay married long! I just love their house! I would have thought they had a maid…it cracked me up when she asked her friend if there were maids for famous people!!!! LOL
Sorry to hear about the bird.
I hate birds too. My cats used to bring them in the house and when I would come home from work, they’d dive bomb me as I walked through the door. I got pretty good at chasing them with a broom. I still duck like crazy when I see one…and I don’t have cats any more!
Haven’t seen “Newlyweds” yet but I can’t believe anyone could be that naive (stupid???) She sounds like the character she played on “That 70’s Show”..the one with no brains from CA who was with Kelso. Guess they typecast her huh???
Poor birdie!!
I have been know to go flying out of the house (in my short silky night shirt) to rescue a chipmunk from the jaws of my beloved Walter Peyton (named by my sports obsessed hubby). Of course there are no less than 5 neighbors outside to see this display! It wasn’t pretty. The friggin (or is it fuckin’?) chipmunk died. Little bastard- he should have been paying attention!
Oh! I’ll volunteer!!
“Hey, be careful with that thing, it’s loaded!”
Haha, my cat is like Tubby. When he catches a bird, he will growl (which he never does) when someone takes it out of his mouth, which basically has to be pried open to get the bird out.
I don’t get it, either. My cat is fat and tends to meow before he jumps at the birds, basically warning them that, hey, I’m here to eat you little birdies. Maybe he’s magical.
I don’t think we get that show yet here in Canada, which is really as well: I just can’t get past Jessica’s Man Jaw. (Is it just me or does she really have a big ol’ Man Jaw?)
P.S. I feel sorry for the bird, but I have to say I laughed my ass off at the shot of all the tail feathers on the lawn.
If any of you guys heard or watch the Osbournes (another train wreck kinda like Anna Nicole–gawd but my life must be mundane!! LOL)
ANYWAY..it turned out the Osbournes was fabricated and staged. I am hoping the same is going on with Jessica..lord help her if she is really that pampered, spoiled and bitchy!!!
If that is not the case then I suspect we will be seeing a reality show titled, Divorcee’s.
Kay –
Actually, it turned out with the last episode that they ended it like that to make you realize that it was just a television show and it very well could have all been totally fake. It was to freak people out, but they did say that things were not scripted or (as) fake as depicted in the last episode.
Yes I knew that. I thought it was kinda cool how they left you hanging with ‘Now what was real and what wasn’t?” Brilliant I must say though I was disturbed at even the concept of Jack killing poor little Minnie.. Even when it got to the end and I knew it was fake I was a little mad!! I am a dog/cat lover and thought that was a little too far. I was just saying for Jessica’s sake, I hope she is being fed script too coz I sure would hate to think the gal was representing herself that badly on purpsose!! ROFLMAO