these books, these books, these fucking books. And these books sat happily in the library, with the occasional visit from the occasional cat to keep them company, and then Fred had to go ruin it.
He emailed some people who had volunteered to try out his ordering system, and suggested they give it a try. They did so, and I packaged a bunch of books to mail out.
On a side note, why did he have to start selling the book on the WEEKEND, when the post office isn’t open? Whywhywhy?
And then he emailed the rest of the people who had volunteered to test out the ordering system, and he let them go ahead and make their orders, and all went smoothly, and I packaged many more books to go out, and then we ran down to the post office and dropped them in the box, because we use Stamps.com for our postage, and thus everything except the foreign orders had postage affixed already.
But was this enough for Fred? Why, no. No it wasn’t. He had to go and send out an email to his entire book list, and orders began to flow. I was up until midnight printing out invoices (and there will be a plea for help in a minute, believe you me) and stuffing envelopes and making notes for Fred. And when I got up this morning? Another slew of orders screaming my name.
Quickbooks is PISSING ME OFF, because for some reason you can’t cut and paste an entire name and address from an email – you can only paste one line at a time, and thus it is easier to print out the email and type the name and address in by hand, which is PISSING ME OFF. Why? WHY? Quickbooks users, is there a way to override this FUCKED UP function? Please say yes, and tell me how in the comments, pleasepleaseplease.
And also, I decided by order #10 that I loathe the fucking shit out of Pegasus because it’s difficult and a pain in the ass, and so I downloaded a second version of Eudora to use for company email, and I managed to NOT fuck it up this time, god knows how, and all is going well. Except – and perhaps someone out there can help me with this – is there a way to respond to an email and not have the text of the email you’re responding to copy over to the new email? Because I’m using the signatures function to say “Hi, hey! Your book will ship soon, really!” (only not in so many words), and Eudora puts the signatures down at the bottom of the email, and I don’t want that, so help? Does any of this make sense? I have no idea.
I’m averaging 6 minutes per order processing time, and I’m trying to figure out how to lessen that time, because those 6 minutes really add the fuck up.
I am the Queen of the packing tape, oh yes I am.
12:30, and I haven’t had a shower yet. I believe I’ll go do that right now.
(By the way, the horrified disgust with a soupcon of panic came about when we went to feed the ducks at the pond by UAH on Sunday. We were practically snatched from the Jeep and carried around on the backs of all the freakin’ Canada Geese who were there. There was shit practically two inches deep wherever we walked, and I was wearing sandals. I expected to get my ass nipped by a goose or two, but luckily they decided I was too scary. Thank god.)
* * *
I’m waiting for my doctor’s office to come back from lunch so that I can make an appointment. My foot, the one scratched by the stray cat the other day, is aching and partially bright red, so I’m sucking it up. No doubt I’ll report back to let y’all know that I was zapped with a tetanus shot and a series of rabies shots and god knows what else.
* * *
Stolen from
Bon-Bon, who stole it from
Uncle Bob.
1) Last dream: I dreamed that
Joe Rogan was telling me about his young son who’d died in a horrific accident. And then we went swimming in his indoor pool. And when I say “indoor pool”, what I mean is that he sealed all his windows and doors and turned the water on, and water filled his house. It was oddly cool.
2) Last car ride: Driving home from feeding the cats at the pet store this morning, with a side trip to Publix (grocery store) and Staples (for more padded envelopes).
3) Last kiss: Fred, in front of the pet store as we parted ways, he to go to work, me to come home.
4) Last good cry: I don’t recall – I tend to do the tearing-up thing rather than out-and-out boo-hooing – but I’m sure it was PMS related.
5) Last Missing Library Book: It would have been in high school some time, but I’ll be damned if I can recall.
6) Last movie seen: Final Destination 2, although I watched part of
Flatliners last night while I was stuffing envelopes.
7) Last Book Read: Love Invents Us, by Amy Bloom (I’m taking time off from books to get current on my magazine reading. Last magazine read:
Reader’s Digest.)
8) Last curse word uttered: “goddamn”, “fucking” and “shit” (part of the sentence “You are such a goddamn piece of fucking shit!”, directed at Quickbooks.)
9) Last beverage drank: Diet Coke.
10) Last food consumed: Turkey and american cheese sandwich, for lunch.
11) Last crush: Paulie Walnuts! (In a non-sexual way, thank you)
12) Last phone call: Last one made: the doctor’s office. Last one received: from Fred.
13) Last TV show watched: The second-to-last episode of season 3,
The Sopranos. Also,
Sex and the City. I am alternately fascinated and repelled by Evan Handler.
14) Last Item Bought: Padded envelopes. Whee!
15) Last time showered: An hour ago.
16) Last shoes worn: My slip-on sandals from Land’s End (the old, good ones, not the new, crappy ones that gave me blisters on top of my feet; I sent those back.)
17) Last CD played: The Best of Olivia Newton-John. Shaddup.
18) Last MP3 Downloaded: Oh, I don’t do that. That’s illegal and all. But if I were going to, I’d say the remake of “Boys of Summer”, by some group whose name escapes me.
19) Last annoyance: The doctor’s office being closed from 11:30 to 1:30 every day. The nerve!
20) Last disappointment: I am disappointed in how crappily my tape of the
The Osbournes marathon (from last week) came out; we can barely hear it.
21) Last soda drank: Diet Coke.
22) Last thing written: A note to Fred about how someone wanted their book signed.
23) Last key used: To my Jeep. I don’t even own a key to the front door of the house, because we come in through the garage all the time.
24) Last phrase spoken: “Oh shut UP, you are NOT freaking out!” (To Fred, who is concerned about my foot.)
25) Last trip to the bathroom: About an hour ago, right before I took a shower.
26) Last sleep: Midnight last night to 6:20ish this morning.
27) Last IM: Probably a year ago, if not more.
28) Last sexual fantasy: I’ll pass.
29) Last orgasm: That’s not your bidness.
30) Last weird encounter: The ducks and geese at the pond this weekend. Man, the sheer volume of nasty, hissing geese freaked me out.
31) Last Store Shopped at: Staples.
32) Last ice cream eaten: Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, Friday night.
33) Last time amused: Ten minutes ago, when Spanky realized he could scamper up the boxes of books to the top of the bookcase, and was inspired to howl about it for several minutes.
34) Last time wanting to die: When Fred
dumped boiling oil onto my foot the day after Thanksgiving 1997. Not because I really wanted to die, but HOLY SHIT did that hurt, and I just wanted the pain to stop.
35) Last time in love: Right now, of course!
36) Last time hugged: Last night at bedtime, by Fred. Also ten minutes earlier than that by the spud.
37) Last time scolded: I don’t recall, but I’m sure I was scolded by my mother during my trip to Maine. Oh, and via email when I wrote about being scratched by a stray cat and planned to do nothing about it. I GUESS THEY WERE RIGHT!
38) Last time resentful: When I had to wipe up 63,000 tea spills from the kitchen floor, and I don’t DRINK TEA.
39) Last chair sat in: My computer chair, where I’m currently sitting.
40) Last lipstick used: I don’t wear lipstick. I wear Blistex.
41) Last underwear worn: Hanes Her Way Seamless, in black.
42) Last bra worn: Oh, some comfy-ass bra I bought at Lane Bryant. I don’t recall the name of it.
43) Last shirt worn: A yellow scoop-neck t-shirt from
Silhouettes.
44) Last class attended: I haven’t got a clue. It’s been years and years, probably 10 years or more.
45) Last Final taken: Probably 10 years ago when I was taking classes at the University of Southern Maine in Portland.
46) Last time dancing: I dance Miz Poo around the kitchen sometimes, does that count?
47) Last poster looked at: Prints at Deck the Walls at the Maine Mall in South Portland.
48) Last show attended: Nothing’s coming to mind. We want to see Le Miz in Nashville this Fall, though.
49) Last webpage visited: The Silhouettes site, to be sure I got the url correct. Before that,
My Life in 12 Point Font.
* * *
Okay, I’m off to the doctor’s office. I’ll add a little note to the bottom of this entry with the verdict when I get back. Y’all have a good one.
*Note: I just got back from the doctor’s office. She looked at my foot, told me it almost looked bruised, checked to be sure I had only been scratched and not bitten, asked if I’d had a tetanus shot, and told me I needed a tetanus shot and a prescription of antibiotics.
One of the side effects of the tetanus shot (they actually gave me a sheet designed for parents, about the something-tetanus-something shot they give kids) is crankiness, drowsiness, and uncontrollable crying for 3 hours.
These next few days should be fun. Any time I act the slightest bitchy, I get to blame it on the shot!]]>
Are you packing your head for a visit to Canada?
Oh My Robyn!!
I hope everything turns out okay at the doctor,
That picture of you with the packing tape on your face made my day. Thanks. I needed that!
Let us know how things went at the doc’s. I’m relieved to know you are finally going, you don’t know where that cat has been or if it has ever had a rabies vaccine. We down in the deep south are having a rabies free for all. Even had a rabid bobcat crawl into some guys garage, which he grabbed, put in a cage and said it was cute…bobcats aren’t cute. He had been scratched by the bobcat which was rabid (CLUE: if you can get anywhere near a bobcat it is sick). I’m hoping things will turn out well.
Woo hoo. I got my bookie today. It would be dangerous to read and drive, so I will force the husband to drive while I read.
Hi Robyn,
Here’s what I do in QuickBooks to override that annoying little function.
I have on my customer list one I call “Miscellaneous Sale”. No customer information other than that is put in. Therefore, when I go to make an invoice for “Miscellaneous Sale” I have a blank invoice. Note: It is only blank the first time, but that’s not a worry. Just type what you want on the invoice, and when it tells you you have changed the info for “Miscellaneous Sale” do you want it that way next time? Tell it “no.” That way, in your register, you retain the orginal info.
Wow say!!! That’s great that you got your book already. I can’t wait to get mine!!
yah i posted a link to fred’s book site on a diet group i belong to. hopefully you will get some more orders since you are loving them so much!
Not sure what browser you use, but Mozilla’s mail client (that comes with the browser if you click the box) is really fantastic and it manages to import from Eudora and Outlook (and I think more) really well. (It wont delete everything). It also allows you to attach a signature to one email address using a file w/o any fuss.
I even made you a litle screen shot.
http://pinktaffy.com/etc/mozmail.png
Glad all is well with the whole kittie thing, feel for yo having a tetanus shot (on the bright side you won’t need another one for 10 years, so August 11, 2013 go git yerself another tetanus shot LOL!) Can’t wait for my book to arrive, hope to see it by Saturday. Loved the pic of the packing tape on your face, made me laugh uncontrollably. I needed that today =)
When I heard about your foot, I immediately throught ‘cat scratch fever’! My brother was bitten by a cat in high school. He ended up in the hospital for a week. Who knew that cats can give you wicked blood poisoning?
S
Hi Robyn:
I’m glad that your foot is going to be okay. Frankly, I’d love to take something that would allow me to be cranky, drowsy and cry uncontrollably for three hours!!!!!
Anyway, if you would want to, it would be really interested if you could keep us updated on how many books Fred has sold. I realize that could be a pain and a lot of trouble so I completely understand if you don’t want to but just thought I’d let you know I’d be interested in seeing how many he’s sold.
Have a great day!!
ok, i have to ask, what is “american” cheese?
Um, I had a cat bite on my hand which got infected and blood poisoning — I ended up in the hospital for a week with an IV in my neck because they couldn’t get one in my hand.
I realize that you are busy shipping books and stuff, but you better go to urgent care and get drugs. Please take care of yourself!
Best wishes to you and ill wishes to the little shit who bit ya,
Wendy
Beware of the geese! The first house hubby and I lived in had these big trees in the back, with lots of (I thought)cute little squirrels. I started out feeding just a few. There were more and more of them each day, each more aggressive than the day before, until finally, they were knocking on the door going “Yo, bitch! Where’s our food!!??? Get your ass out here now!” I was forced to pull the plug, and stop feeding them cold turkey.They probably still hate me.
Mo, how did you guess?! My head will arrive in Canada in 6 – 8 weeks.
Pinky – I’ve heard such good things about Mozilla that I think I may very well give it a try!
Michele – I’ll have to ask Fred about that.
JenB – According to the package it’s a “processed cheese product”. I’d liken it to a very mild cheddar.
Wendy – I got antibiotics from the doctor, which I started taking last night. Hopefully all will be well – though that IV in the neck sounds like fuuuuuuun.
I live vicariously through your exploits.
hehehe not really. But we share the same sense of humor….i.e. everything that pisses you off does the same to moi.
Hope the foot feels better soon but for your own purposes, MILK IT FOR ALL IT’S WORTH!!
ta ta
K