(That’s a yawn, not a bitch)
One day last week I stood in my closet looking for a shirt to wear, and I said to myself “Self, you sure do have an awful damn lot of light gray t-shirts. What’s up with that?” And then I answered myself with “Bite me. I can’t help it if Cafe Press doesn’t offer t-shirts in various colors! White or gray, that’s it! (Except of course for the baseball t-shirts, which are white with a choice of red arms or blue). Don’t bitch at me, bitch at Cafe Press!”
Then, I stopped and thought about it, which hurt a little. I came up with a possible solution, and the next day I stopped at the drugstore and bought two small packages. The packages then sat on the desk by the door because I am nothing if not a procrastinator.
Yesterday, I got a bug up my butt (figuratively speaking), and I did what I’d planned to do, and it was good.
That’s right, I dyed the motherfuckers. I think they came out pretty well, too, although I think I would have preferred the blue one to be a bit lighter, and the yellow one to be less gold. But they’re not light gray – which is SO not my color – and thus I’m going to declare the experiment a success.
Apparently my love for the music of Lisa Marie Presley is limited to two songs: “Lights Out” (because really, how can you not laugh a little bit at the line “In the damn back lawn”?, and also, it’s got a good beat, and I can dance to it. If I could dance, that is. Does anyone get that “It’s got a good beat and I can dance to it” line, or are you all too young? And further, if you go to
this page, you can listen to the song in Windows Media, and you won’t have to go do that illegal download thing that will blow up your computer, just because I like the song) and “Nobody Noticed It” (which I LOVE, because I love the sad songs. You can also listen to that one on the page linked above). The rest of her songs, however, kind of sound alike to me. I guess 2 out of 12 ain’t bad.
Speaking of sad songs, have I mentioned that I love the sad songs? If I put together a compilation cd of my favorite songs, they’d probably make y’all want to kill yourselves.
(And now someone will email me to tell me that suicide is no joking matter)
I talked to the spud this morning. She didn’t go to the zoo the other day because it rained all day, so they went shopping instead. Lisa, the ex’s fiancee, had the spud professionally measured , and then bought the her a bunch of new bras at Victoria’s Secret.
I am oddly amused by that. Reminds me of the (Jeff Foxworthy?) story about how he came home and his wife was folding laundry. He picked up a skimpy pair of underwear, leered, and said “Hooo, when are you going to model these for me?” His wife smiled and said “Probably never, since they’re YOUR DAUGHTER’S UNDERWEAR!”, at which point he screamed and threw the underwear across the room.
This is Spanky. He is the cat who, on every trip through the bathroom to the bowl of food, stops and says “HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!” when he sees the bath mat sitting in front of the shower. In front of the shower, where it always sits. And then he spends half an hour poking at the rug with his paw, backing up, and then walking forward to poke-poke-poke again. If you make a loud noise, he will jump three feet in the air and haul ass for a safe place. Uh, I mean, I think he’ll do that. I don’t know for sure, because I would never deliberately scare him. Nope, not me.]]>
I love you, Robyn.
LOL I have a cat that does the same thing as Spanky. Even if he’s walking by and sees a paper on the floor he freaks. Perfect opportunity to move your foot just to see him jump and twist in the air, come down and haul ass out of there. 🙂
I am so into sad songs, the sadder the better. I’ll have to put together a list, too. Even better, make a list and we can compare sad songs. You may know of some I haven’t cried to yet. Hee!
Next time you don’t deliberately scare Spanky, make sure and don’t deliberately record it and don’t deliberately post it on here so we all can’t deliberately laugh at him… : )
I love that reference too, but it’s Bill Engvall, not Jeff Foxworthy =) sorry but Bill’s my FAVORITE comedian.
What kind of dye did you use to dye your shirts, Robyn? Does the dye hold up in the wash pretty well? They look great!
“It’s got a good beat and I can dance to it” – Please share. I’m sure I’ll kick myself when you do, though!
I second the non-video posting!
American Bandstand!
And I third the non-video posting.
Mo: Back atcha, babe. 🙂
Bonnie’s got it, it’s from American Bandstand. When all those crazy kids, hopped-up on the weed couldn’t think of anything to say about a song, that’s what they’d say.
Lucy – It’s RIT dye. If I recall correctly (I haven’t dyed anything in years) it holds up very well. I did it in the washing machine, kept it agitating for 30 minutes, which gets the dye good and even. I found this page which has an awesome chart. I think I feel a new obsession coming on. 🙂
Karen: I should have known that! 🙂 Bill Engvall always looks like such a nice guy.
Robyn, are you trying to make me come to Alabama to steal Tubby? Cos I’ll do it. Don’t think I won’t.
How far back are we talking? John Waters makes fun of that line in _Hairspray_, but it comes from even older than that!
Is Dick Clark still hot at 250 or however old he is or what? (just kidding here!!)
I love your cat pics so much! I had to call the shelter today to see how Twinkle was. I am sad without him. So is Bear.
I have too many light grey shirts, too. I call that my comfort color.
Hey Robyn, my husband and I almost adopted a little white kitten yesterday, but someone beat us to her:-( For some reason my husband insists on getting a white kitten this time. I LOVE your kitty adoption pictures.
That pic of Tubby needs to be on http://www.mycathatesyou.com/
I’m still keeping my fingers crossed that anyday now I’ll look on your journal and the very first thing I’ll see is a picture of Mr Fancypants with a caption beneath that reads “He’s home!”
Just a note: I believe your shirt-dying qualifies as a “crafty” adventure. You’re more of a crafty bitch than you think. Um-hum.
I can’t tell you how often I laughed out loud while reading this post. Totally kickass.
(Tubby DOES look like he’s bitching.)