Pet store kitty pictures are here.
So Tuesday, as I was having my hair done, I chatted with the hairdresser. We were talking about the spud, and how she was out in California, but leaving on Sunday for Rhode Island and then a week later, Maine.
“Does it ever get warm in Maine?” Ev asked. “Because you don’t think of it being warm up there, ever.”
“Yeah,” I said. “It gets very hot and humid and sticky up there during the summer, and no one ever has air conditioning.”
She nodded, and a few minutes later asked “Is there anything to do up there? Won’t she get bored? You never hear about people going to Maine on vacation.”
My eyes bulged out of my head. “Well, yeah, there’s lots to do,” I said. “It is, after all,
Vacationland.” She gave me a blank look. “That’s what it says on the license plate. Vacationland.”
“Oh, really? Do they get many tourists up there?”
“Uh, yeah. You could say that.” Especially considering how many times the words “Fucking tourists!” came out of my mouth when I was living up there.
I guess it’s funny – she’s from this area, and can’t imagine why anyone would want to go to Maine on vacation. I’m from Maine and can’t imagine why on earth ANYONE would come to this part of the country on vacation.
Tell me again how it is that I ended up living a zillion miles from the ocean?
Oh yeah.
About five minutes after I put up yesterday’s entry, I glanced out the front window, and saw an ugly, dark, scary-ass bank of clouds in the sky. The clouds were moving faster than I’d ever seen them, and it was extremely windy. I half expected to see a funnel cloud drop down at any second, but when I turned the TV on, none of the local channels had anything but a thunderstorm warning, and the tornado sirens weren’t going.
Since I decided I wasn’t in immediate danger of dying, I did the natural thing. I took a picture.
This is at 3 in the afternoon, by the way.
A few weeks ago, I taped the premiere of the new Showtime series (or is it a mini-series?)
Out of Order. I’ve loved Eric Stoltz since
Some Kind of Wonderful (although he was a TAD creepy in
Once and Again), and I’ve loved Felicity Huffman since
Sports Night.
Anyway, we were watching it, and after Eric Stoltz has been propositioned by Justine Bateman (don’t act like you don’t remember her from
Family Ties. And if your response is “Family what?”, then shut up you little whippersnapper.), he picks up the phone.
“All riiiight,” Fred said approvingly. “He’s going to call the one who wanted to sleep with him!” (Fred likes to pretend he’s a DAWG to get on my nerves. It works well, especially when I have PMS.)
Only, Eric Stoltz didn’t call the one who wanted to sleep with
him. He called the other one, the one
he wanted to sleep with.
“Why?” Fred said in disgust. “Why would he call HER when he’s got a sure thing with the other one!”
“Because!” I snapped (PMS? Hi.). “He doesn’t WANT TO SLEEP WITH MALLORY, HE WANTS TO SLEEP WITH THE OTHER ONE!”
Five minutes later, Justine Bateman’s boobs gave Eric Stoltz the eye.
Fred squinted. “Is that Justine Bateman?!”
As I smacked him soundly about the face and neck I yelled “WHY DO YOU THINK I CALLED HER MALLORY?!”
Luckily for him, two days into my period the PMS is almost gone.
For the first time in, like, forever, I cleaned the upstairs – INCLUDING DUSTING – and the downstairs – ALSO DUSTED – in the same week. Frankly, that never happens, and I’m starting to suspect they’ve replaced my Diet Coke with liquid speed or something. Not only did I clean upstairs and down, I also cleaned out the closet in the kitchen (damn did it get nasty), went to Wal-Mart for new litter boxes, and – are you ready for this? – cleaned out my car. Which, if I can go by the receipt for March of 2002, hasn’t been cleaned in a long, long time. It’s clean now, by god, and if I get a bug up my butt one of these days, I very well might actually take it to the car wash and even vacuum it out.
Hell, I’ll probably even end up cleaning Fred’s Jeep before we go on vacation for the 4th of July weekend!
Somebody stop me!
Such a fancy thang.]]>
Oh, I hope Mr. High-and-Mighty-Fancypants comes home soon! I have been just heartbroken since reading your entry yesterday.
I must confess that although I live wayyyy up here in the Seattle-area, I find myself looking at the FIVE THOUSAND strays in my area (a little bit of a sore spot with me) and going, “Is that you, your fanciness?” But alas, no sighting yet. (c’mon, he could have jumped on a plane or something. It IS possible).
I’ll keep my fingers crossed you find him mewing at the possums in your yard soon.
L.
Vacationing in Maine? Hell, haven’t they heard about all those summer camps up there? Just having Mommy and Daddy stopping in Portland on their way to drop off junior adds a sizable chunk to the state economy!
Laurie…who honeymooned in Maine!
Robyn, I am keeping my fingers crossed about Mr. FP. Love, Eliza
I’m totally having a fit about Fancypants. Still praying for him.
Its funny that you like Eric Stoltz from Some kind of Wonderful. Thats where I first saw him. He’s a favorite of mine
I’m not quite sure what anyone would think when they ran across Fancypants, shaved and all. My goodness. I’m so sad. I want him home.
By the way, I remember Mallory. I have a hard time picturing her as anything else…
I daresay it’s the PMS making you want to clean so much…..one month PMS persuaded me to clean the vent slats in my car with a q-tip and a bottle of alcohol to get rid of the A/C dust! I mean c’MON….who else would do that besides a woman soaked in hormones!! 🙂
Well where the hell is that fancy bastard? Here’s hoping he comes home safe and sound, and with a damned good excuse for worrying us all!
{{hugs}}
I suspect Fancypants is staying away so that in the years to come, I’ll have a story to tell about him – ie, “Yeah, we thought he was gone for sure. He’d been missing for 6 weeks and we’d given up on him, but one day he came swishing through the cat door, followed by 6 kittens, all of them looking exactly like him. I guess the “fix” didn’t take!”
And Lisa – I thought about getting the q-tips out, ’cause those vents are hard to clean! 🙂
I’m hoping FancyPants makes it home soon, Robyn.
Best,
Lucy
Maybe the PMS scared him, and he decided to have a hiatus? I hope he comes home soon.
Heya Rodyn,
I’m sorry to hear about Fancypants – crazy rebellios streak! But what I really wanted to say is that I am in love with Tubby. That picture on your front page is priceless.
I hope you find your kitty soon!!! He’s probably strutting his fancyness with another family for a little summer vacation.
I don’t have Showtime, urgh! Stupid Dishnetwork that charges $$$ if you want it all! I just may have to buck up so I can see some Eric Stoltz!
I’m sorry to hear about Fancypants. I hope he turns up soon. I know you usually don’t update your page on the weekends. If he comes home this weekend, will you please let us know? Don’t make us wait until Monday if he comes back.
Best wishes from Texas for Mr. Fancypants getting himself back home.
Robyn,
I’m with you about the whole “story” thing. Only, I think he’s probably trying to get you worked up about something other than the giant fancy turds he lays on the floor. You *are* rather ruthless in your complaining about his bad habits.
Seriously though – I’m worried sick too . . . I know that even though Frank can be a serious pain in the rectal area, I’d freak out if he was not to be seen. My fingers and toes are crossed.
I put laminated pictures/comments up all over today too Robyn, for my missing cat. I must have looked like a real dork the last two mornings – like at 6:30am for God’s sake, bent over, looking into hedgerows, calling, “here Rusty, Rusty Rusty, here ‘lil man…”. Probably woke up half the neighborhood!
Then repeated the whole process again at 7pm (those are prowl times for cats in our neck-o-the-woods!) not to mentioned 4 – 5 times during the day covering the same tracks.
Are those two boys trying to get us fit Robyn??
Whatever you’re taking, could you package some and send it to me!!???
Hope you find your kitty soon!
I forgot to say that tonight’s journal entry was too bloody funny. I love to read about you’re slapping Fred around when you are all PMS’y! Heee.
I have been a total fan of Eric Stoltz for the longest time, and for the same reasons as you Robyn. Luuurved him in Some Kind Of Wonderful, when poor Watts was so in luuurve with him and he had eyes only for the delectible skinny what-evah-her-name-wuz. But she got ‘im in the end…aaaah! I’m not usually into red-heads, but he is awesome.
*sigh*
Hope Fancypants is ok and only out “catting” around. Anyway, is there any place else in America to take a vacation instead of Maine? I’ve been a lot of places, but Bar Harbor is the coolest.
How far up is the spud going? There’s something very interesting going on at UMPI and the surrounding countryside:
http://www.umpi.maine.edu/info/nmms/solar/index.htm
Keeping good thoughts about Fancypants
Elle – she’s not going that far north – she’ll be about 45 minutes north of Portland – but that is too damn cool. I bet my sister would love to take the kids on a road trip!