Nicole) I SHOULD be reading.
Grate Lit-tra-tyurre can pretty much kiss my ass. Do I strike you as a reader of Grate Lit-tra-tyurre?
I didn’t think so.
* * *
I was sound asleep at 7:45 this morning (after slapping my alarm clock into submission at 7) when the phone rang. I thought it might be Fred calling with some more story ideas (he’s been having a lot lately), and so I didn’t bother to clear my throat before I croaked “Hello?” into the telephone.
It was my friend Liz, who turned 35 yesterday. “Were you sleeping?” she asked.
“Nooo…” I lied.
“Yes you were!” she laughed.
“Yeah, I was,” I admitted.
I always claim I wasn’t sleeping when someone wakes me up by calling. Why is that? Why do I feel the need to deny it, when it’s clearly obvious by the sound of my voice that I just woke up?
Liz does it too, for that matter.
Liz turned 35 yesterday, I believe I mentioned. She lives at home with her mother, who is elderly and not doing too well, and her much older brother (I believe he’s in his 50s now). Yesterday, instead of being a lovely birthday, was apparently the day from hell, including a dead car (CAR, I said, people, not CAT), her mother falling down (she’s fine, but they kept her in the hospital for observation), and unresponsive nurses at the hospital (don’t flame me, nurse-readers. She said she went to get help when her mother was done with the bedpan, and the nurses looked at her and ignored her). This morning? An ice storm.
I told her that with a start like that, her 36th year was going to be absolutely awesome. She said that that’s easy for someone who’s already married with a kid to say.
She’s got me there.
* * *
The Christmas card stats for 2002 are as follows:
Total cards sent out (not including family): 331 (this is way more than the 195 I sent out last year!)
States receiving 10 or more cards: California (30), Illinois (19), Indiana (10), Missouri (10), New York (13), Ohio (19), Texas (20), Washington State (16).
States who don’t love me and didn’t want a card: Arkansas, Delaware, Maine, Montana, Vermont, West Virginia, Wyoming. (The list is getting shorter!)
Other countries receiving cards: Canada (20), New Zealand (4), Australia (4), United Kingdom (7), Sweden (2), Netherlands (1), Republic of Korea (1), Portugal (2), Germany (2), Trinidad (1).
Most often recurring first names: Ami/ Amy (6), Cathy/ Kathy (10), Chris/ Christy/ Chris/ Kris/ Christine (11), Elizabeth (5), Heather (5), Jennifer/ Jen/ Jenn (9), Karen (6), Kimberly/ Kim (5), Lisa (6), Lori/ Laurie (5), Marianne/ Maryann/ Maryanne (7), Stefani/ Stephanie (5), Susan (8), Tina (5).
Number of cards kicked back as undeliverable: 2 (I readdressed them and mailed them back out to Umi in NY, and Layla in Smyrna).
Percentage of probability that I accidentally sent out more than one card to at least one person: 99.999
Was I terribly organized about my card sending this year?: More organized than last year!
Did I have a lot of fun shopping for funny cards?: You betcha – and I’m really looking forward to making cards for next year.
What I’ll do differently next year: Not much, though I think I could have started cutting and pasting names and addresses to the label document in Word a little sooner than I did.
Number of cards I’ve received: 159 so far. I’ll be going to the post office later today, and there will most likely be some more waiting there for me. I absolutely loved getting so many pictures of your cats and kids, thank you!
* * *
Have I mentioned that I’m turning 35 (ha! I accidentally typed 25 at first!) in 10 days? Mark your calendars. It’s a national holiday, you know! I have this very strong feeling that this is going to be the year I really come into my own, and I can’t wait!
* * *
Speaking of mail (like I was before I reminded you of my birthday on January 9th. January 9th, folks!), I went to the post office on Friday, which was the only chance I’d gotten all week, and BOY did I hit the jackpot. Not only were there about 50 cards crammed into the box, but there were several packages waiting for me as well. And because I’m a wonderful, sharing person, I’m going to share them with y’all. You’re welcome.
From Say – a chocolate candle, a container of chocolate milk bath (mmm!), and a knitted washcloth with a cat face knitted in!
From reader Elizabeth – an addition to my Smiley Santa kitchen collection!
From reader Christine – a Boyd’s Bear and a Buttercream Yankee Candle! I must say, it was very amusing to open the box and take out the Boyd’s Bear with my mother standing right there, because she collects them, and she doesn’t have this one. And she ain’t getting mine!
The Art of Smiles calendar from Stephanie! Basically, works of art like the Mona Lisa and The Scream with smiley faces worked into the picture somehow. Hee!
And not really included with the above gifts, because this one came to the house, Moira sent me Total Bitch Bath & Body Essentials. The lotion? HAS SPARKLIES IN IT! I am way, way too excited by that, I really am.
And to go with the stuff above, a washcloth that’s just perfect for me. Hey, are y’all trying to tell me that I need to wash more often?
* * *
And THEN, I went to the post office today, and found three MORE boxes waiting for me, along with 5 cards! (That brings the total up to 164).
My very first birthday present, to kick off the Birthday Month in style! Sarah Michaels Marine Spa lotion, bubble bath, bath pillow, nail brush, exfoliating shower gloves, all in a nifty travel bag. And, and, AND, an oatmeal raisin spice candle that is just to DIE for.
From reader Jonica, who picked it up in the “Orleans” hotel in Las Vegas. (I think I’m going to hang it off my rearview mirror!)
And last, but surely not least, from reader Debbie in England! It’s a memo/ picture holder. And luckily there’s room for 5 pictures, which coincidentally is how many cats we have. Whee!
Are you jealous of my readers? You should be, because they ROCK! (Readers Debbie (in England), Jonica, and Christine, please email me so that I may thank you properly!)
* * *
This entry ended up a lot longer than I expected, but I can’t let you go before I point out that
this kitty looks a mighty lot like Fancypants, tell you that I’ve started
my own nation (I wanted the national motto to be “Goddamnit! What the fuck?!”, but they wouldn’t allow it, the bastards), and show you this picture of Spanky, who just cracks me up.
See you “next year”, with a whole new look! Have a safe and happy New Year’s Eve. I’ll be slugging down a virgin cup of egg nog, and turning in well before 2003 peers over the horizon. I hope there’s at least that much excitement in your own New Year’s Eve!]]>
