Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant – and picked up Blonde, by Joyce Carol Oates. Now, Joyce Carol Oates, you may recall, wrote the book I loathe above all others, That Damn Mulvaney Book. I don’t know how it is that I happened to buy a book by the author who wrote the book I hate so much, but I suspect it had something to do with the fact that there was a miniseries based on it, and I didn’t realize that it was the same author.
Or possibly I bought Blonde before I read Die Mulvaneys, Die. OR I may have thought to myself, well, every author is entitled to a horrid piece of excrement or two. Some might say that Stephen King built a career on horrid pieces of crap. They would be wrong and should be stoned for such blasphemy, but they can certainly think it quietly to themselves and not to me. I think I’ll give this other one a try. Just because I didn’t like the one doesn’t mean I will loathe the other! I probably thought to myself. Believe it or not, I’m an optimist.
In any case, a couple of months ago when I was standing in front of the bookcase trying to decide what I wanted to read next, and dithering between something I’d had for a while or something new, I said sternly to myself, you always get all dithery and indecisive when it’s time to pick a new book! So here’s what we’re going to do from here on out. See that third shelf from the top? We’re going to start with the book on the left-hand side, and read each book in turn until every book on that shelf has been read! And so, with a few side-trips (I was NOT going to wait to read the new Evanovich, for example), I have been doing so for the last several weeks. I’m more than halfway through that shelf, but it’s not empty, no no no. With the vacation money left over from our Florida trip, we made a dent in our respective wish lists. (Of course, mine still has about 45,000 items on it, and Fred’s has something like 3)
So last night, it was time to start Blonde. I wasn’t really looking forward to it – it’s not only written by that Mulvaney lover, but also 700 pages long – but I tried to get myself excited about it. Marilyn Monroe! I like Marilyn Monroe! Joyce Carol Oates? Never heard of her! She was certainly never a Mulvaney, nope nope nope!
I decided I would read at least three chapters of the book to give it a fair shot, and if it hadn’t drawn me in by then, off to the giveaway pile it went, because life’s just too damn short. Halfway through the first chapter, I was whinily making deals with myself – let’s just stop now and pretend that we read all three chapters! – but still I soldiered on.
Crap, crap, utter crap. I know that there are going to be those who disagree with me, it was a bestseller, after all, and that’s fine. Y’all can just happily go about your lives reading books by Joyce Carol Oates, but I’m not gonna. She’s obviously just not my cup o’ tea.
Whoever wins it in the giveaway certainly has my condolences.
1. Where were you born? Bangor, Maine (home of Stephen King!). There used to be an air force base there (I’m fairly certain they closed it down), where my father was stationed.
2. If you still live there, where would you rather move to? If you don’t live there, do you want to move back? Why or why not? I don’t live there, and I wouldn’t particularly want to move back to Bangor – I only lived there a short time as a baby before my father was transferred, so it doesn’t really mean anything to me. I would love, love, love to move back to Maine, or at least own a summer cottage on the ocean. Maybe some day.
3. Where in the world do you feel the safest? In Fred’s arms. Y’all quit making those gagging motions!
4. Do you feel you are well-traveled? Not really. There are so many places in this country alone that I’d love to visit, plus I’ve never spent any time in Canada, let alone Europe, that if I were independently wealthy I’d love to spend all my time travelling.
5. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? I think Gatlinburg is mighty interesting – it’s a very touristy town, and I could probably spend all my time sitting on a bench and watching the people walk by. Plus, it’s so beautiful that I never get tired of taking pictures of the scenery.
Fancypants, Miz Poo, and Spanky all hope that you have a great weekend! Well, Miz Poo and Spanky do – Fancypants doesn’t care one way or the other.]]>
2002-07-19