So this morning, the Karmic Boomerang(TM) whipped around and kicked me in the ass with lightning-quick reflexes. I was walking into the closet to put the clothes basket away, and Spanky was standing there staring into the fourth dimension, where things were going on that only he could see.
"Move, buddy," I said, and when he went on standing and staring, I touched him lightly on the top of his head to bring his brain back into this dimension. Since he’s the jumpiest, most nervous cat we have (except for Spot, who will sit at the food dish and eat, and if he sees you walking in his general direction, he’ll scream and run away), he did a big, goony jump that made me laugh like a banshee. As he ran out of the closet, I put the laundry basket away and bent down to pick up a shirt.
As I stood up, I banged my head on the ironing board. As I said "Ow!" and rubbed my head, I could hear the whiplike sound of the Karmic Boomerang moving on…
So, last night we watched Lost, and then The Amazing Race. Well, we watched Lost together, and then I went upstairs to watch The Amazing Race, while Fred stayed downstairs and watched the craptastic Fear Factor. I liked both Lost and The Amazing Race (how sweet the sound…), but I’d say I liked The Amazing Race more. Why? Well, because there were 11 teams as opposed to 3 teams on Lost, which meant that it was a lot easier to find people to hate on Race.
And find people to hate I did. Why, first off, there was Frank, who was an obnoxious asshole who at one point actually shoved his wife (from whom he’s separated – gee, wonder why?) when she expressed fear at the thought of going across a zipline in a flimsy li’l harness across a deep gorge. Asshole. I’m sure he thought he was being all playful, but I would have decked his stupid ass.
Then, of course, there was Amie. At one point, the teams had to find something Gorge, and they weren’t provided with directions, so as Amie and her poor fiance Paul were driving in circles, they’d occasionally run across (not literally) a local. "Where’s (something) Gorge?" Amie would shriek, with a voice like nails on a chalkboard. The local would shake his or her head that s/he didn’t know, and the bitch would scream "HOW CAN YOU LIVE HERE AND NOT KNOW WHERE IT IS?!" Personally, had I been someone she screamed that at, I would have responded with "HOW CAN YOU BE SUCH A CU– AND STILL BE ALIVE?!"
I don’t use the "c" word lightly, y’all.
Lastly, and only slightly annoying, was the daughter half of the mother/ daughter team, Emily. Emily was apparently not disciplined nearly enough as a child, because she was prone to whine in a loud, annoying voice, "Come ON, Mooooooom! Hurry UUUUUP!" They should have paired Emily with Frank and let him shove HER around.
My current favorites are Joe and Bill (the gay couple), David and Margaretta (the grandparents), and Nancy, Emily’s mother. Everyone else was neither annoying enough or sweet enough to set off my radar.
Moira, I’m thinking we’d kick ass in The Amazing Race 2…
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