Tubbyman and Miz Poo from a Huntsville area no-kill shelter – we’re on their quarterly mailing list. When I received the most recent newsletter, I tore out the page where you can "sponsor" an orphan cat or dog – basically you send in $40, which pays for vet care and shots for an animal waiting for adoption. (I try to make a charitable donation each payday, and it all depends on who gets to me first asking for money and how much money we have left over after the bills and allowances are paid. I prefer to run my charitable donations the same half-assed way I run my life.) Anyway, I sent $40 to sponsor an orphan, and a few weeks later, they sent us a thank-you card and a picture of the cutie we’re sponsoring.
Is that about the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen? Her name is Patty, she’s 6 weeks old, and she was found in a trailer park when she was 1 week old. Fred took one look at the picture and said "Awwwww, let’s adopt her!" Not seriously, of course, but I suggested we get rid of the Tubbyman, ’cause if I haven’t mentioned it before, I hate that cat.
I’m not proud of the fact that I hate the Tubbyman, but I’ll never get over seeing him sitting in my outdoor planter with his ass hung over the edge doing his nasty business, the little bastard. The planter where I was going to reuse the dirt to plant gladioli next spring. Now it’s all nasty and Tubby-poo-filled. Fred tries to defend the Tubbyman, saying "It looks like a litter box, what do you expect him to do?" I expect him to keep his Tubby ass away from it, because I’ve chased him away from it often enough for it to have sunk into his little pea brain that he’s not supposed to be climbing around in there, let alone defiling the dirt I was going to use again.
I HATE THAT CAT.
—–]]>
11/08/2000