Oh, that’s right, I said to myself. Yesterday was the 28th, so today’s the 29th. April 29th. Hm. April 29th, yep, it sure is. 29th of April… (long pause) HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN, IT’S MOM’S BIRTHDAY TODAY! I probably don’t need to tell you that I completely forgot that her birthday was coming up. I don’t think it’s so much as crossed my mind for an instant since sometime in March, when I said to myself, Mom’s birthday is next, on April 29th. Oh, I’ve got ages and ages yet before I need to worry about that! Thank god for FTD. Once I got home, I sat right down at the computer and sent her a rather large arrangement of flowers. I made the deadline, so they should get there today. I hope. I also sent her an online card from the three of us, so that should do it. Over the past few years, I’ve gotten to the point where I just send her flowers and maybe chocolates for her birthday, because I can’t think of anything else she’d like. Debbie, on the other hand, I could buy something for every day and never run out of things to buy. She’s the easiest person in the world to buy for, aside from the spud, but when it comes to anyone else, there’s just a big question mark over my head. Even Fred is hard to buy for sometimes. I’m sure when the flowers arrive this afternoon, Mom will roll her eyes and say "Oh, how original. FLOWERS." So Fred and I are thinking about taking a 3-day weekend trip to Destin, Florida the weekend after the spud is done with school (her last day of school is May 18th, can you believe that???) He and I went to the Destin area three summers ago, and it was great except for the fact that we went on the 4th of July weekend. Could we have been any dumber? I don’t think so! There were a bunch of rowdy college boys staying in our hotel, and the day we left, I went down to the beach to get a jar of ocean water and a jar of sand, and while I was on the beach about ten of them crowded around the boardwalk you had to walk up to get back to the hotel, and just sat there and shot the shit. I waited and waited for them to leave, but after about half an hour, I sucked it up and walked past them. They didn’t say anything, but I could feel them looking at me, and I wanted to smack them upside their tanned, toned heads. Even now, Fred and I talk about that, and we refer to it as my "Walking the gauntlet." I know, we’re total drama queens, aren’t we? I hope we do end up going to Florida, instead of just talking about it and deciding not to go, the way we usually do. I’m feeling a craving for shrimp and raw oysters… —–]]>
04/29/2000