03/26/2000

I dreamed, early this morning, that I put myself in a large box and shipped myself via UPS to an unknown location. At some point, riding along in a UPS truck, the UPS man figured out there was a person in there, and stopped his truck, hauled the box off his truck, and opened it, then took off, leaving me there. I was in Austin, so I tried to find Pamie, but woke before I was successful. I went back to sleep and dreamed that the spud and I were hitchhiking from Alabama to Maine, and then the guys from Party of Five were with us, neither of whom had money, and we were living off my emergency credit card. I must’ve eaten something really weird last night. So a couple of months ago, Fred put me on his American Express account, and they sent me a shiny new card to put in my wallet and only use in case of emergency. The problem is that it was so shiny and green, smiling at me from my wallet, and the devil on my shoulder whispered "Just use it; it’s not like using a REAL credit card, ’cause you can pay it off at the end of the month!" So I used it for gas, I used it for garden stuff, I used it for birthday presents, and I used it ’til it was smoking and no longer smiling. I charged up $400 and some change, to be exact. (Yes, I’m aware that that’s an incredible amount. Please don’t lecture. Thank you.) To give you some background, I – from time to time – am in the habit of lecturing Fred on his American Express usage, because the balance can really get up there, and since we’re paying off the Amex from last month, we have less cash to use on this month’s purchases, and it’s a vicious, vicious cycle. Therefore, Fred is thrilled that I charged the hell out of the Amex this month, because, according to him, "You can no longer lecture me about my Amex usage!" Sigh. Fred and the spud went swimming yesterday. Yes, that’s correct, they went SWIMMING. The water was somewhere between 62 and 64, and not only did they GO in the water, they STAYED in the water for something like an hour. An hour and a half after they came inside, Fred was still cold to the touch, so he made me take my clothes off and spoon with him so he could leach heat from me. Yes, it led to sex. Don’t tell anyone, or they’ll take away our marriage license. Married people! Having sex in the middle of the day! What IS this world coming to? Y’all enjoy the rest of your weekend. See you tomorrow! —–]]>