Warning: potentially disturbing pictures.
Shhhhhh.
Don’t say anything.
He’s out there right now, watching me. I don’t want him to know I know he’s there.
I’m being held captive in the house by a serial killer.
(Is it “serial killer” or “mass murderer”? Let me go wikipedia that…. Okay, serial killer was right.)
NO! Don’t call the police! Jesus, he’ll know we’re onto him, and he’ll go out and do some more killing and the blood would be on our hands!
I tried sneaking out the front door, but he sensed what I was doing, and before I could get the door open, he was there. Trapping me inside. I tried running for the back door, but he’s faster than I am, even with having to jump over the fence carrying his latest victim. I’m trapped. Completely.
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God, he’s deceptively sweet looking. Who would have ever guessed that a cold-blooded killer lies within?
I’m okay, though. I’ve got enough food and water to last me for some time, even a couple of weeks if you include the canned food.
I just hope Fred doesn’t get caught. I would have called to warn him, but the phone wires have been chewed through. My cell phone is somehow missing.
(flickr)
It’s like he planned it. Like he went out to do his latest killing knowing that I wouldn’t want to let him inside so he could eat his latest victim.
That’s right – EAT his latest victim. He’s a monster.
The eyes of a lover, the heart of a monster the world has never seen before.
(flickr)
No remorse for his horrible deeds. Just another day for him.
I’ll hold him off as long as I can. If you drive by and see the flashing blue lights of the local police, you’ll know I wasn’t able. Make sure you tell the reporters I did my best to stop his lifelong killing spree.
(flickr)
The face of evil. Who knew it’d be so soft and fuzzy and cute?
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Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: I have the best readers EVAH! 2004: Gotta love that Jack Bauer. 2003: When it’s such a noteworthy event that my child stops and stares in wonder, it’s possible I’m just not cleaning often enough, ya think? 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: No entry. 1999: That’s my girl!
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*Laughs uncontrollaby*
Pretty funny, because when I went to open the patio door this morning, the cat that has adopted us left us a pile of bird feathers by the door. Please note – the cat adopted US, not the other way around!
That poor dead squirrel may well be the funniest thing I have seen all day! I love Newt!
He does have the sweetest face ever. It’s sorta like that Dexter guy, with the sweet face who kills people. Although, from what I understand, he only kills other killers, right? So for all you know that bird had killed an entire worm family that very morning! Little feathered bastard.
I wonder if it’s an orange cat thing. Our orange cat is the only one of the four who has ever killed anything.
And judging from the size of the last squirrel he tried to gift me with, I’m starting to fear for the small dogs in the neighborhood.
Poor Squirrely McSquirrel. 🙁
It’s the food chain, happening in your front yard!
Sweet.
I’m in love with the bird killers killer, and the killers in love with me.
What a vicious, vicious monster! ::falling in love with the sweet face anyway::
Yay to Newt! I don’t like squirrels, either. They cause so much damage. I wish Newt would come to my house and do some killing.
I only hope he dispenses them quickly. As much as I hate the little bastards, I abhor suffering.
Thanks for the laugh,Robyn. You had my side aching!
PS
Although I sent you a differnt one this year, I still have some Santa Tubby Christmas Cards and send them to my crazy cat friends. They are a hit!
I’ve always been attracted to the bad boys. I still want him, anyway!
That dead squirrel was Newt’s Christmas present to me. I hate squirrels. They have cost me thousands of dollars of damage to my home and trees. Go Newt!
Maybe it is akin to the redheaded humans having tempers, you know, the orange kitties like to kill? It can’t be helped.
I was enjoying my dinner, catching up on blogs… then wham. You typed serial, I read cereal… pizza spew all over my laptop. Thanks Newt, you handsome cold blooded birdy killer. The Squirrel cracks me up.
You know, I would be very afraid… he obviously has some deep psychological issues.. look how he positioned the body, flat on its back spread eagled.. that would totally be in the FBI profile.
The squirrel pictures = priceless!!! They need to be the ending of one of those commercials somehow.
I also wanted to let you know I love the Furminator!!! I’m so glad you wrote about it! My old boy cat ain’t cleanin’ like he used to and it hadn’t occurred to me (duh) it was because he’s not flexible enough to get the bottom of his back any more. The other brushes I’ve used just don’t get that loose fur underneath – but this one works like a charm!!! Thank you!!!
Ha,I found myself wondering if you photoshopped the squirrel because of the manner in which it sprawled on its back was suspect.
The dead squirrel’s lil arms are reaching heaven-ward like Redd Foxx’s when he would feign a heart attack and say(to his dead wife),’Elisabeth! I coming to see you Elisabeth!”
Love that pretty boy, though!
Aawwww, Newt looks so sweet, even with a dead birdie stuck in his mouth.
Merry Christmas to you and Fred, and all your kitties.
PS: Are you still claiming the outside kitties aren’t really yours? Or do you claim them now?
The chickens and the cock better look out!! Their days are numbered!
Merry Christmas, Robyn and Fred!!