12/22/05

Fresh Lemon Sugar. Whenever I spray it on myself I smell so damn good I want to marry myself. But I’m sure I’d get all annoyed with myself in no time flat, and there’d be screaming and throwing (“You BITCH, that was my GRANDMOTHER’s candy dish! I can’t believe you BROKE IT!” “No, not the mini salt and pepper shakers!”) and cheating (“WHO is JUAN?”) and snooping through emails (“What whore sent you pictures of herself in lingerie and made a suggestive comment about blowing you?”) and listening in on calls (“That didn’t SOUND like your MOTHER?” “Yeah? Well YOU’re sounding more and more like YOUR mother!”) and eventually a divorce (“I get Sugarbutt and Thomas, they love ME more! Here, Shoogie, Shoogie, here TommyTommyTommy!”), and I think we don’t want THAT. Well, maybe we do; y’all do love a trainwreck, right? My other favorite perfumes: That Lemon Meringue perfume I got at Bath and Body Works a few months ago (I can’t think of the name of the company that makes the perfume), Vera Wang, and my perennial favorite: Sand and Sable. Between my perfumes and my yummy smelling shampoo/ conditioners (I go back and forth between Victoria’s Secret So Sexy and Back to Basics Marine scents. YUMMY.) I smell pretty damn good all the time. (Speaking of the Victoria’s Secret So Sexy shampoo and conditioner, every time I see the uber-cheesy name, I hear in my head the voice of a super-cheesy guy from the 70s with a bad perm and a Fu Manchu mustache saying “Myyyyyyyyyy lady is sooooooooooo sexyyyyyyyy!”)

* * * Fred returned the camera phone yesterday and got me a flip phone like his and the spud’s. It’s a Samsung x495, and I like it. I spent a good 45 minutes looking at and listening to ringtones last night before I found the one that is perfect for me: South Park’s Cartman singing O Holy Night. I kept calling myself from the home phone just to hear it play. I’m going to get a new ringtone once the holidays are past, but I’m torn between an Office Space ringtone (Milton saying “Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler?”) and a Napolean Dynamite ringtone (too many to choose between). Or, I don’t know, maybe the theme song from The O.C. Too many choices! I always get really excited when I get a new phone. I’m sure the excitement will die down in a few days. * * * Yesterday was a semi-busy day for me. I had to take Miz Poo to the vet’s in the morning; her lip is pretty much completely healed – though there’s a bit of scar tissue – and she lost a third of a pound, so I need to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t lose any more, but she’s not scheduled for any more vet visits in the near future. Thank GOD, because I don’t think my ears could take another 25 minutes of her howling on the way to the vet anytime soon. In the afternoon I had a hair appointment, so now my grays are all covered for another 5 weeks. I’m still growing my hair out, because I haven’t gotten tired of it yet. Maybe I’ll grow my bangs out, too. Or maybe not – that’s usually the death knell for my long hair. Just as my bangs reach the length of the rest of my hair I get tired of long hair (not that it’s all that long, just a little past my shoulders) and have her chop it off. Always happens that way; always has, probably always will. I’m a creature of habit, what can I say? Amongst all the appointment-going, I watched The Aviator, because Fred rented it the other day and it’s due back today and if I wanted to watch it, I needed to get it watched so I could return the movie. Good god, what a waste of time. It was neat to see all the actresses of today playing the actresses of then, and it was interesting to learn about all the things that Howard Hughes accomplished, because I knew NOTHIN’ about the man before I watched the movie (for many years I thought Howard Hughes and Hugh Hefner were the same man), but I could have accomplished the seeing of the actresses of today by looking at pictures from the movie and learned information about Howard Hughes by reading an article about him, and still retained at least two and a half of the almost-three hours I wasted watching the damn movie. And Cate Blanchett is a great actress and everything and she did a good job of sounding like Hepburn, but she just didn’t have that Hepburn glow. I don’t know, I was a little disappointed I guess. * * * Brudderly love. All of today’s uploaded pictures are here. * * * Previously 2004: No shit, Matt. Ya think? Ya think she might like to eat? 2003: “You are NOT allowed in Maine!” I informed him. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: Except for world peace and all that. Yadda, yadda. 1999: No entry.]]>