12-27-07

here): Date I started addressing cards: I think around November 26th or 27th. Date I finished: The day I stopped taking names and address, December 21st. Total cards sent out (not including family): 358 States receiving 10 or more cards: California (31), Florida (11), Illinois (15), Maryland (10), Michigan (16), North Carolina (11), Ohio (26), Pennsylvania (13), Texas (23), Virginia (17), Washington (14), Wisconsin (12). States who don’t love me and didn’t want a card: Delaware, Hawaii, North Dakota, South Dakota, Vermont, West Virginia, Wyoming, Washington DC. Other countries receiving cards: Canada (10), New Zealand (1), Australia (4), UK (5), Sweden (2), Costa Rica (1), Germany (1), Iceland (1), Finland (1), Scotland (3), Switzerland (1), Israel (1). Number of cards kicked back as undeliverable: None so far! Percentage of probability that I accidentally sent out more than one card to at least one person: 96.848. Was I terribly organized about my card sending this year?: Fairly so, except for the not-enough-cards thing. That wasn’t due to disorganization, though. Did I have a lot of fun shopping for funny cards?: I had a lot of fun creating one. Those of you who didn’t request one, this is this year’s card: (pic) (Inside: That’s okay, Santa Claws likes it naughty. Happy Holidays!) I actually ran out of cards, and a handful of you got cards created by me. I’m sorry about that. I’ll do better next year! What I’ll do differently next year: Order more cards, damnit! Number of cards I’ve received: So far, 140 154! (I checked the PO Box yesterday morning). I’ll update that number in mid-January, when all the cards have arrived. I meant to put up pictures of all the cards I’ve received so far, but I didn’t have time, and my camera is packed away, so I’ll have to get that at a later date (and will hopefully remember to come back here and post the link).

 

I was tagged forever ago for this meme by angstmama. It’s only now going up because it took me THAT long to come up with stuff that I haven’t already written about. The rules: 1. Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your Blog. 2. Share 7 random and/or weird things about yourself. 3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their Blogs. 4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their Blog. Seven random or weird things about myself. 1. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, when I have to get up to pee, when the deed is done I wander into the computer room, and I click on my Sitemeter bookmark, and when my page of stats comes up, I click on “Who’s on?” For those of you without Sitemeter, this tells you who has been on your site in the past 30 minutes. And I can’t remember the last time I clicked on “Who’s on?” and had it come up blank. In the middle of the night, I look at the list of who’s on, and I wonder, what are you doing on my site in the middle of the night? Who are you, Tulsa? Oakland? Jackson? Attiki, Greece? Oslo? Are you catching up on your journal reading? Are you taking a break from work, killing time, putting off going to bed? Were you looking for something else when you wandered across my site, or did you mean to be here? And after some time of looking and pondering, I go back to bed. Sometimes I dream about you all. 2. I adore the word “spry” and use it as often as I can. I just hope that when I’m a doddering old woman, someone will look at me and say, admiringly, “She’s certainly spry for her age!” 3. In the movie Catch & Release, there’s a scene where everyone is having (a horribly disgusting-looking) vegan dinner, and Jennifer Garner decides to share things about herself that her deceased fiance never knew. She says: a. I steal library books… on purpose. I have them from every town I live in. I can’t control it. b. I can put my whole fist in my mouth. c. I love natural disasters. I want people to die in them. I’m genuinely disappointed when the death toll is low. d. I made it with a girl once. e. I think catch & release fishermen are heartless weenies. I think putting a fish through agony for your own entertainment is just plain cruel. One of her secrets is mine as well. And I’m not going to tell you which one – you can guess, but I’ll never say. 4. I hate it when someone asks what I’m eating, unless they do the interested “Oh, that looks good!” face. Otherwise, they might say “What are you eating?”, but I hear “JESUS CHRIST. ARE YOU EATING AGAIN? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STUFFING DOWN YOUR PIEHOLE NOW?” Ask Fred – I get very defensive about what I’m eating if it’s not a salad or some kind of fruit. I’m known to squawk “NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS!” in response and hunch over my plate. Luckily, he finds it funny. 5. If I say “Such and such is so!” and someone responds with “Such and such is NOT so, in my case. Here is an example that describes the case of such and such being the exact opposite of so.”, I adore responding with “Ah, but in your case, that is the exception that proves the rule!”, because it makes me sound so very smart. Except that I’m not sure exactly what “The exception that proves the rule” MEANS. It just sounds good. 6. From the interstate highway between Closeville and Tennessee (a drive I usually only make when I’m taking a cat to the vet), there’s this apartment building you can see. It’s shaped like an “L”, and there are two stories, it’s battered and broken-down, there’s junk everywhere and crappy rusted-out vehicles in the parking lot, and I am absolutely fascinated by it. It looks like the end of the road. I stare at it as I drive by, every time. I can barely take my eyes off it. If someone’s outside, I want to see what they look like and what they’re doing, what they’re driving. If I had any idea how to get there, I would probably drive there and park across from it and just sit there all day to watch the people come and go. I don’t understand why I’m so fascinated by it; it simultaneously fascinates and saddens me. I think that in some parallel life, if I took a left instead of the right I took in this one, zigged instead of zagged, maybe that’s where I ended up. It looks like the place where hope goes to die. 7. I fully believe that if I didn’t have Fred around to keep me in check, we’d have 630 cats by now. And if Fred didn’t have me around to keep him in check (or at least slow him down a little), we’d have a back forty full of goats and sheep and pigs and cows and probably a couple of dogs to keep an eye on them. If you’re reading this, consider yourself tagged!

 

Annnnnnd, now I’m off to Maine for a while. If I can, I’ll update from there (I’m committed to posting every day of December, now that it’s so close!). Y’all behave. The comment-answering extravaganza is on hold ’til I get back – you can still ask the questions, I just won’t get to them ’til I get back. I’ll be sporadically Twittering. Edited to add: Annnnnd, now I’m not. Due to weather in Detroit, my first flight was canceled and (it being a holiday weekend and all) I couldn’t get on another flight out of Huntsville ’til Saturday. Thank GOD my father called to tell me the first flight had been canceled; it never occurred to me to check! So if you’ve got any burning questions, the Comment-Answering Extravaganza will go on tomorrow as usual!

 

Previously 2006: No entry. 2005: No entry. 2004: “Mom, you’re going to be bigger than Britney Spears!” 2003: I tossed the muffins in the trash, although it did occur to me to leave the one the Bean had had his ass upon – the assmuffin, if you will – for Fred. 2002: No entry. 2001: No entry. 2000: Though to be truthful, I was the Monster Who Ate Alabama for a period of about 24 hours… 1999: “You must not be using the stairs at your house Freddie! You haven’t lost any weight!” ]]>

16 thoughts on “12-27-07”

  1. Hey Robyn,
    I have been reading your blog for so long, i cnat’t imagine what life would be without you! You are a beautiful and gifted writer. Keep me in your thoughts today, today is my wedding day,nothing fancy here in our livingroom in Branford ,CT..we are digustingly happy and each others bff!
    Oh and btw we are getting married in our pajamas.
    I’ll send a pic, Lo`ve, Jenn

  2. congrats, Jenn! all the best to you.
    I was wondering if the cat lady extraordinaire has any advice for a cat with a cold.
    She seems pretty miserable, breathing with her mouth open and not her usual bouncy self. A little sneezing.
    The trouble is I don’t have a place and facilities to isolate her from the others.
    Any suggestions? thanks!
    Sharon

  3. Point of (maybe) interest:
    The exception that proves the rule… the original sense was of someone or something that is granted permission not to follow a rule that otherwise applies. The true origin of the phrase lies in a medieval Latin legal principle: exceptio probat regulam in casibus non exceptis, which may be translated as “the exception confirms the rule in the cases not excepted”.
    Let us say that you drive down a street somewhere and find a notice which says “Parking prohibited on Sundays”. You may reasonably infer from this that parking is allowed on the other six days of the week. … “Special leave is given for men to be out of barracks tonight until 11pm” … implies a rule that in other cases men must be in barracks before that time. So, in its strict sense, the principle is arguing that the existence of an allowed exception to a rule reaffirms the existence of the rule.
    So, for instance, saying “Robyn posts on weekends during November and December” implies the existence of the “rule” that during the rest of the year, Robyn doesn’t post on weekends. Someone explained it to me as, saying “Robyn doesn’t post on weekends except during Nov and Dec” is the same as saying “Robyn posts on weekends during Nov and Dec” because the “doesn’t post” and the “except” sort of cancel each other out, like a double negative. So the “except” (or “unless,” etc) part of a statement shows, or “proves,” what the standard “rule” is.
    What I usually say in your situation, when I say “this is so” and someone says, “Nuh-uh, because my mother’s neighbor’s dog-groomer…” is “The plural of anecdote is not data.” You get this kind of argument a lot – “ThisBrand of washer isn’t reliable.” “Sure it is, I had one and it worked fine, and my mom had one too.” Great, but those two anecdotes don’t erase the documented fact that 87% of ThisBrand washers fall apart during the spin cycle on the second or third use.
    Another phrase that’s attained a meaning quite different from the original is “begs the question.”

  4. By the way, have you read “Lamb,” by Christopher Moore? Subtitled “The Gospel of Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal.” If you haven’t, I very highly recommend it.

  5. Elayne, I’m going to have to re-read that another six times before I truly understand it, I think. Also, I haven’t read “Lamb”, but I’m fairly certain Fred has it on his bookcase, so I’ll steal it from him.

  6. Congrats Jenn. Married in your PJs. I guess it makes the wedding night faster.
    Sharon – have you taken your cat to the vet yet? If he’s sneezing and breathing with his mouth open – he’s very sick and needs antibotics. Don’t wait too long – my friend did. I got my Gus from her because he was sick and not getting better. She waited too long to take him to the doctor due to finances. He’s healthy, but has permanent damage to his sinus and has running nose and eyes all the time. I feel so bad for for him because he’s the most loving, cuddly cat I know.

  7. I leave near Detroit and it’s not bad here today considering that it’s Michigan and it’s December. No snow or freezing rain. The only thing I can think is that it’s foggy so visibility must be low. Sorry your flight got cancelled.

  8. I have read Lamb (and everything else Christopher Moore has written) and I swear to Biff, it was a religious experience. You must read it, Robyn. Be prepared to giggle inappropriately. A lot.

  9. Awhile back you posted something about living in Guam. This is waaaay out in weird question territory, but I’m curious and you’re answering questions and…
    Somewhere I read that Guam has some horrible snake to space ratio due to a lack of natural predators. I think maybe it was thousands and thousands per square mile. I also seem to remember something about power outages due to snakes climbing onto the power lines. Is this some sort of urban myth designed to keep people from ever ever ever visiting Guam, or is it actually true? If it’s true, I think that Illinois might be a little too close to the snaketopia of Guam for my comfort, and I might actually need to move.

  12. I’m intrigued by the list of secrets. I know you’re not going to tell, but I’m going to guess anyway. I’ve ruled out all of them (based on my instincts, totally speculative) except for b) and e). I’m thinking b) only because my husband and my younger daughter can both fit their fists into their mouths and they will demonstrate that skill at the drop of a hat. Ergo, you might be able to do it. And I’m thinking e) because you have empathy for animals. That one kind of seems like a no-brainer.
    Anyway, sorry your flight was canceled. That sucks, man.

  13. Miz S, but if it were (b) or (e), then why would she “never say”? I think because of her empathy for animals, she wouldn’t have a problem speaking against something she thought was cruel, andm as your example with your husband and daughter shows, fist-in-mouth is not really the kind of thing you work to keep secret.
    Seems to me it has to be either something that she considers is nobody’s business (d) or something that people might not be too understanding of and criticize her for (c).
    I’m okay with either of them – hell, ANY of them* – myself, but I understand why (c) or (d) might not ever get a public mention.
    *If I still went to the library, I might have a problem with (a), because the selection around here is sucky enough without someone stealing all the good stuff. But, I don’t go to the library anymore, and even if I did I’d still be okay with (a) as long as the only books being stolen were the boring ones.

  14. That explanation to the “exception” saying is .. very interesting. I always THOUGHT I knew what it meant. I thought it referred to the saying, “There’s an exception to every rule.” In other words, when something is completely out of the ordinary and unexpected, it’s the exception that proves the rule that there’s an exception to every rule! Hmm…I still think that might be it! But that’s probably just because I’ve thought that’s what it means all my life! Hee!

  15. heh I pick a) a. I steal library books… on purpose. I have them from every town I live in. I can’t control it.
    too funny

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