do know that before we move into the Smallville house, we’re going to have a pest control person come out and figure out where they’re coming from and how to stop them.
I could probably handle a wasp sting okay (with perhaps copious amounts of whining), but I’d hate it if one of the cats was stung by one of them and got sick.
Fucking wasps.
* * *
Okay, confession: Possibly once or twice while I was killing wasps last weekend one of them MIGHT HAVE flown at my face, causing me to run like hell through the house (up side of losing all that weight: I can RUN and not fall over from the exertion) squealing like a little girl, sure that my number was up.
“I found her dead on the floor like that,” Fred would inform the cops in his usual earnest manner. “I don’t know what happened, I only know that the entire house shook and someone was squealing, and then she crashed to the floor and I thought she was kidding around so I didn’t check on her for fifteen or sixteen hours. By then, of course, she was good and dead.”
And the cop would look at me and shake his head. “Too damn bad,” he’d say. “We get more people scared literally to death by wasps than you’d believe.” Then he’d scoff and shake his head again. “Damn pansy-ass city folk.”
“She always was a bit of a wimp,” Fred would say, conveniently forgetting that he’d been pointing out wasps for me to kill all weekend long.”
“Well, I’ll send out the medical examiner, but I’m sure he’ll say her death was caused by the face that she was a complete and utter spaz,” the cop would say.
Fred would nod in agreement.
Only I was FAST LIKE THE WIND and the damn hypothetical wasps never caught up to me. So there.
(Also, I fully expected Fred to come down and say “What the fuck are you doing?”, only he never even noticed I was crashing through the house like a bull in a china shop. Nonexistent ghosts, he hears. Me running from one end of the house to the other sounding like a herd of elephants, nada.)
* * *
And last night as we were at the house and I was painting (KILL ME), I felt a tickling in my boobal area, so I looked down and found not one, not two, but three of those damn ladybug lookalike bugs crawling around in my shirt. I did a little dance and flicked them off me, squealing, and then stomped on them.
You thought I was going to say I found a wasp down the front of my shirt, didn’t you?
If that had happened, I’m not sure I’d have lived to tell the tale.
* * *
I’m about three weeks behind in watching my TV shows. I’m pretty much up to date on Lost (I still need to watch last night’s episode, though) and Grey’s Anatomy, but I have two or three episodes each of ER, Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, and Breaking Bonaduce to watch.
I watched Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters yesterday afternoon (is it just me, or is every man on that show except Uncle Saul just impossibly good-looking? Also, is it just me or is Sally Field reprising her role she played on ER as Abby’s crazy mother?), but then picked up an episode of Lost, a Dr. Phil, a Junk Brothers, and a Biggest Loser.
I am NEVER going to catch up.
* * *
Hey. If one of you photoshoppin’ geniuses could take this picture and photoshop the toys and the carrier in the background out of the picture (and make sure you keep the picture full-size), I would appreciate it so much I’d link to you and give you big internet smooches.
Thank you, Vix!!!! and
Suzie!!!!!
(I’m making a t-shirt for my niece for Christmas and think it’d look better without the stuff in the background.)
* * *
How lame am I for laughing at something in my entry from a year ago? I read
I did threaten to name him “Doo McGillicuddy” and just call him Sugarbutt, but Fred wouldn’t go for that. and laughed out loud.
I mean, for god’s sake. How perfect a name is “Doo McGillicuddy”?
(I giggled again just typing the name.)
Don’t be too surprised if the next foster kitten gets that name.
* * *
Doesn’t Tommy look thrilled?
Maddy in mid-leap.
Dance, Maddy. DANCE!
All of today’s uploaded pictures are
here.
* * *
Miz Poo sniffs out the situation.
* * *
Previously
2005: as a customer and a HUMAN, I outrank the computer, and I’d like a little RESPECT, thank you.
2004: All this cleaning is making me lightheaded.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Little things make me happy.
1999: Guest entry by Fred.]]>
Robyn! Good lord woman, what are you doing up and writing a journal entry at THIS time of morning?! I mean, I’m glad to hear from you and all, but… good lord. Is this some sort of new leaf you’re overturning, or somethin’?
Robyn, I’m so glad it was ladybugs, not wasps, down your shirt! My mom was changing the light bulb in a ceiling fixture one time, and a wasp flew down her nightgown and stung her on the boob. She said it hurt like a sumbitch. (I’m having sympathetic pains just thinking about it!) I hate those mean little fuckers, too.
I’m shuddering at all the bug talk. Whenever I see a centipede (usually in the bathroom), I lose my shit. Those things are fast and disgusting and creepy. ACK!
And speaking of past entries, when I saw the following tidbit at the bottom of your page the other day, I laughed myself silly for a good ten minutes:
“How fucking much is that goddamn bread? A dollar ninety-fucking-five? Okay, put a couple of the motherfuckers in my cart, would you, fuckwad?”
Ahh… your so damn funny Robyn!! 😀
i am scared shitless of bugs, any bugs..I hope they are all gone by the time you move in..
FAST LIKE THE WIND. Exactly why I heart you.
Go watch LOST woman! Last night was finally a REALLY good one. Personally, I’d been a little disappointed at the season so far. We finally get a great one and the MFers pull this mid-season finale crap. I can’t believe there will be no more Lost until February. Grrr!
Yeah … looks like you can check “catching up on Lost episodes” off your list. February? I can’t believe it!
I’ll have a bash at photoshopping that for you tonight, if you like. I can’t promise it’ll be spectacular but I can certainly try.
Oh wasps are the worst! I was stung not once but TWICE this summer.
The first time was at home. We had a wasp next IN OUR WALL! It was so horrifying hearing them buzzing in the wall! The hubs took it upon himself to exterminate them and we thought they were all dead. The next day I was walking along the side of the house and a rogue wasp attacked me and stung my leg! It hurt like a bitch and swelled to the size of a large melon! I kid you not! And it itched so bad for about 2 weeks.
The second time we were at the Audubon Zoo in New Orleans and a wasp flew up the leg of my shorts and went crazy stinging me! Thankfully I am not allergic! My leg was swollen and sore for about a month!
Bugs don’t bother me as much and wasps are a way of life here…now they discovered we have Africanized Honey Bees. Joy! So, anything that flies I am wary of…BTW mole crickets are just the creepiest bugs ever!!
Ms Poo looks like there’s a stank coming from the Booger’s butt to kill an elephant 🙂
My sister and brother-in-law had a wasp problem a few years ago … Turned out their nest was just outside the chimney, and yup – that’s how they were getting in. My sister duct-taped the chimney closed with heavy plastic sheeting until they could get someone out there to take care of it. It was the most disgusting thing in the world and after being dive-bombed by wasps one day while I was there, I refused to visit her house again until it had been taken care of.
OH MY GOD… WASPS…. we had them in a house and couldn’t find where they were coming from…. they came in the house all year round and would hang around the back door…. we had a pest guy come out… couldn’t find the nest… so since I was a bitch everyday about it, dh and I sold the house… I too could never live with bees of any kind nearby…. and there is a bug that aims for the face…. its the wonderful palmetto bug… when we lived in florida for awhile I lived in fear of them… of course the bees where up north, but I don’t quite know which is worse, bees or palmetto bugs… YUCK YUCK YUCK….
thanks for the great entry, I laughed my pants off…
I’m glad to see someone else is watching Brothers & Sisters. I really like the show, but my husband rolls his eyes every time there’s a commercial for it. And yes, Sally Field is just a little bit craaaazzzy, like on ER.
Here’s something you might be interested in: Rob & Big. I downloaded the first episode free on iTunes. It was pretty funny and entertaining.
Gotta say – I’m not too thrilled to hear that you’re killing ladybugs! 🙂
“I felt a tickling in my boobal area.”
I had to read that line twice before I got it and then I laughed like a 12 year old boy! Boobal is my new favorite word.
Sorry to hear about the wasps problems! My grandma had them all over when I was a kid. I remember being so scared of them. We knocked one of their nests down one time and out fell and bunch of spider bodies. Speaking of spiders, did you know the average person eats about 8 spiders in their lifetime and doesn’t even know it? Apparently they crawl in your mouth while you are sleeping! I bet you really wanted to know that huh?
Several years ago a friend of mine had a baby and asked if I would mind staying with her a couple of days to help care for the baby while she recovered. So one night, I went to the kitchen to get a drink and something scurried past me really fast. I screamed like a baby and ran. I mentioned it to her the next day and she told me it was her pet lizard. She said they released a couple of lizards in the house to keep the bug problem down. They didn’t so much have a spider in their house after that. I guess the lizards live on the bugs and get their water from licking the condensation from under the refrigerator. Pretty good idea I thought, but probably wouldn’t work for you with all those cats.
Call the Orkin man..(or whatever they call the exterminator in your neck of the woods)
We had a wasps nest in our frickin’ attic. The cats thought they were toys – we had a really unhappy cat when she caught one of em.
Oh, and ummm.. our ladybug look-a-likes are asian lady beetles. Not only do those little suckers bite, but they smell *really* bad if ya suck em up in the vacuum.
OMG, ‘boobal’? That’s hilarious!!!
Bugs and such don’t bother me much (hey, I rhyme!). Mud Dobbers(sp) are alright with me, as well. But! I hate HATE the red wasps! My toes are like tiny red wasp magnets. I shit you not. The only places I’ve ever been stung are on the toes….summertime, sandals, barefoot….
I can top that name Robyn – my friends and I refer to one of her cats as “Tits McGillicutty” and it sends us all up in uproarious laughter for hours. Say it out loud and try not to laugh.
This really doesn’t have anything to do w/today’s entry, just an observation.
I saw “fuck” and all variations thereof about as much as you do. My mother has been on me for years about it. I am 50 years old for fuck’s sake!
Your daughter is a remarkable gal, great student, respectful, never giving you any behavior problems. My son is the same.
So…..we must be doing SOMETHING right, eh?
And to those that don’t like the way I talk….fuck ’em.
Fuckers.
Fuck!
I should use that fuckin’ preview button.
I SAY fuck, I don’t see it (‘saw’)
Yeah,I’d fumigate before I’d move in.
Damn bedbugs are a scourge according to the gals on The View.
Geeze Louise, after readign all these comments about bugs, I’m starting to feel quite itchy myself…