Spoiler from last night’s 24; skip to the next section if you haven’t seen it, or aren’t interested.
Please. Please. PLEASE tell me that we’re not the only ones who noticed that when Martha Logan walked into the bathroom where the communications guy was peeing, he did NOT flush the toilet, and he did NOT wash his hands before he handed over the key card to the archive room, and THEN she PUT IT IN HER MOUTH as she was walking out.
I’m not germ-phobic or anything, but GAG ME.
To break it down: Hand on penis (probably splashed with urine), hand on key card (penis germs transferring from hand to key card instantaneously, as germs are wont to do), key card in the mouth of the First Lady.
::shudder:: ::twitch::
Fred says we’re just a couple of Monks.
* * *
Today’s earworm:
Somebody save me
Let your waters break right through
Somebody save me
I don’t care how you do it
Just save, save
Come on
I’ve been waiting for you
(Save Me, by Remy Zero. Also known as the theme song for Smallville. Which Fred has been watching almost constantly, which is why the theme song is bouncing around in my brain.)
* * *
So, I took a look to see what people have been searching on recently. The most popular searches:
Cat pee/ cat urine/ cat pee smell/ cat pee cleaner/ cat odor remover. I think you’re looking for the link to
Axi-Dent, which is the only thing I’ve ever used that immediately takes away the smell of cat pee. Cat pee, if you didn’t know, is the nastiest smell on the planet. Ugh. I think the guy who owns the company behind that web site is willing to make other suggestions if you’d rather try something else, too.
Book/ book I’m in/ written in a book. That would be
Tales from the Scale, edited by Erin Shea. Unless you’re looking for Fred’s book, and that would
From Chunk to Hunk. Which is also being put up online for free,
here.
Elliptical. It’s a
Life Fitness X9i elliptical. And I still like it – a LOT. Although in the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t ::coughcough:: actually USED it all that often lately…
Nasty comment. I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never gotten a nasty comment in my LIFE. Ha! Maybe you were looking for
my response to the Einstein in Lakewood, NJ, who was telling me how it was? Or perhaps
Jackie in Vancouver, who suggested that if I didn’t lose weight, pronto, I’d have to worry about my daughter trying to “steal” Fred from me? Or, wait. How about
Sandra (down in the comments), who thought that my mentioning the fact that I was putting a book on my wish list meant that I was suggesting someone go buy it for me? I’m sure there are more, but those are the ones who came to mind. The funny thing is that I did a search on “twat” to find those entries, because Nance called Sandra and Jackie “twats”, and I remembered that, but not the specifics of what the two lame commenters had said. Heh. And the funnier thing is that someone DID go and buy that book off my wish list for me, just to spite Sandra.
If you have a question you’d like answered, ask in the comments. God knows I’ll answer almost anything!
* * *
Sunday morning I got out of bed to go to the bathroom – and because it was time to get up – and as I did my morning business, Sugarbutt wound around my feet, rubbing up against my legs and purring like mad. Since I figured he was in the mood for love, I crawled back in bed and called his name and patted on the bed, hoping he’d snuggle up against me and let me pet his soft, silky fur.
So I was laying on my side on the bed, calling for Sugarbutt, one hand patting the bed and the other hand just laying across the bed. Finally, he got curious about what was going on, and he jumped up on the bed and approached me. He let me scratch him behind the ears, and then he leaned down and sniffed my hand, the one that was laying on the bed.
And then he made a chirping noise, jumped several inches straight up in the air, and ran off like his ass was on fire.
Let me hasten to add that I had JUST washed my hands with pear-scented soap, so it’s not like he was smelling some nastiness or anything.
I laughed my ass off, then I started calling him and patting the bed and he jumped up on the bed again. Again, he allowed me to scratch behind his ears, sniffed my hand, jumped and chirped and ran off like his ass was afire. All told, he did the exact same thing five or six times, and Fred finally had to come upstairs to see what the hell had me cackling so hard.
I sure do love that Sugarbutt.
* * *
* * *
The two most fascinating bits of information I’ve learned so far this year:
1. On the dashboard of most cars, on or around the gas gauge, there’ s an arrow or a little gas pump that indicates which side of the car the gas tank is located on. I myself have a little gas pump
and an arrow:
This is strangely fascinating to me. I’ve probably seen that arrow and gas pump a thousand times, but never once did it occur to me to think to myself “Hmm. Wonder what that arrow stands for?”
(That piece of fascinating information was passed on to me by Fred, who read it on
Fark)
2. There’s so much nasty bacteria in your mouth that if you had an open wound on each of your arms and you licked one wound and rubbed the other in your ass (don’t give me that look; we all know you rub your wounded arms in your ass ALL THE TIME, you fucking freak), the one you licked has a much higher chance of getting infected.
(And THAT piece of fascinating information was read in
Kevin Smith’s blog.)
Just a little fascinating information, passed from me to you. Go forth and spread the fascination.
* * *
Sooooo… remember a while back when Fred painted the master bedroom a light yellow color, and I was all “Yeah, I think I like it. The more I look at it, the more I like it. I think.”
Well, in truth, the more time I spent in that room, the more I disliked the yellow. At certain times of day, in certain light, it was a lovely, soft yellow color and I liked it. But the rest of the time, it was just too damn yellow. It was distracting when I tried to read, and sometimes it seemed like it was just a horrid neon yellow.
So Fred repainted it this past weekend.
Before:
Now:
American Tradition 4006-3B, Palisade Blue.
Unlike the yellow, where I walked in and said. “Yeah… I think I might like it. Or not. Do I like it? I don’t know…”, I walked in when Fred was done painting, and I said “Yep, I love it!”
Still need a new comforter, though.
* * *
Yeah, okay, that’s really comfortable. It’s not like you’re putting my arm to sleep with your rapidly portlifying gut, Tommy.
That boy is just Not Right.
(All of today’s uploaded pictures are
here.)
* * *
Previously
2005: Stuff I Bought.
2004: No entry.
2003: Frequently asked questions.
2002: I love me some messing around with the camera.
2001: I was being subjected to porn without realizing it!
2000: Ben and me, we had sex in the back of a van.]]>
That pic of TC is so awful it’s funny!
I had forgotten about that assclown who told you it was wrong for Fred to be alone with the Spud…makes you wonder about people, huh??
Hi Robyn!
I decided to be the Microbiologist geek and comment on the mouth bacteria thing…
The bacteria in your mouth (which are usually harmless and aid in digestion) would grow better in a wound because they can grow in that wound tissue better than the ass bacteria can…which have been modified to live in the gut…(an acidic & hostile place). It’s the location, location, location (tropism) that would cause infection, not necessarily the amount of bacteria (which our asses/poop have PLENTY).
Ok…done with geekdom…
Love the Maine pics! We are going in June and salivating at the thought of all the lobster rolls we are going to eat while there!
Robyn,
I was with a group of 5 others and as soon as he turned around we were all like, “Wash your hands!” We totally noticed and were totally grossed out.
OH! I am SO glad you mentioned that about the hand washing. Things like that on tv make me a nervous wreck! I TOTALLY noticed that he did not wash his hands. I kept thinking he would turn around and do it, so there would be time for other close up face shots to build tension. As usual, 24 is going to make me hyperventilate and have High Anxiety every 12 seconds while I am watching it. But I love it. And I am THRILLED to learn that there is a wee little arrowy pointing to what side of the car my gasshole is on! Because I’ve had my car for 4 years now and EVERY single time I go to gas up, I have to stop and think about how to approach the pumps. As always, I’ve gotten much pleasure from reading your posts my dear and laughing over your cat pics! Kindly, Karla
Liked the Yellow but Blue is better. Good job Fred
Dear Clarise: I think “An acidic and hostile place” should be my new tagline. I’m quite taken with that line. 🙂 Heh!
(don’t give me that look; we all know you rub your wounded arms in your ass ALL THE TIME, you fucking freak)
Oh my dear God that almost f’ing killed me!!! Awesome.
Dear Robyn…
I think someone should design your Feb. banner using that tagline!
Bitchypoo: An Acidic and Hostile Place
=)
Have a good week!
My take on the Sugarbutt sniff/chirp/run is that maybe he was trying to say “Hey Mom, come and chase me”, rather than “Hey Mom, you smell really bad.” Since cats sniff the butts and don’t keel over, I never think when they sniff me they think I smell bad, it just can’t be possible with those noses!!!
So next time he does that, get up and chase him and see if that is what he was after!! A couple of mine love it when I chase them, then when I catch them they flop over and I am supposed to rub them and pat their sides really hard. Why this is fun I am not sure, but never question a cat.
Hi Robyn —
I’ve been waiting to read what you think about the Drinkwell fountain that you got the cats for Christmas. I had decided to wait to get one for our house, based on what you and Fred (and the cats!) thought of yours. I know you wrote earlier that they wouldn’t get to use it until after Chrsitmas.
Do they love it? Is it a pain in the ass?
Thanks!
Yellow is definitely a tricky color. I remember the first place I lived in after moving away from home – well, at least the first one that was “all mine” – and how I spent an amazing amount of time agonizing over what color to paint the living room. I finally settled on what I was sure would be a charming Tuscan-y gold.
Yep, you guessed it, the damn room looked as if I had turned a school bus inside out. Ick. It was awful.
Dawn: The Drinkwell fountain wasn’t much of a hit, actually. The cats were interested at first, but the sound of the motor really bothered Fred, and he noticed after a few days that the cats were drinking out of the bowl of water we’d left out, rather than out of the Drinkwell. We ended up selling it on eBay! 🙂
That last picture of Tom reminded me of when I had some pictures developed of my cat, and in one picture she’s sleeping funny, on the side with the tongue hanging out. And the lady at the photo counter kind of gasped and said: oh my god, is that cat dead?
As much as I wanted to say: yes, yes it’s dead, it’s a morbid hobby of mine, taking pictures of dead cats!. I just said: oh god no, she just sleeps funny 🙂
gasshole! Har!
The Sugar butt story had me guffawing,because I had a similar experience with my female cockatiel.She was riding shotgun on my office chair armrest when all of a sudden she fell off in a flurry of yellow feathers. Realizing it coincided with a bit of tooting on my part,I starting laughing as I realized it was more likely that she abandoned ship rather than fell off.
I can never remember which side the gas tank is on (different on both of our cars). So I ran to the garage excitedly to look at the gas symbol on our guage to witness the arrow I was sure I’d overlooked ever since we got the car. No such thing on our car – the gas symbol is right in the middle of the guage with no arrow anywhere.
Guess I’ll have to continue looking like a dumbass when I pump gas.
Re: Drinkwell … Thanks for letting me know! I was thinking that the sound of the motor might be annoying. My husband thanks you sincerely too — now he won’t have to put up with me buying yet another piece of “cat crap”, as he calls it!
I meant to thank you for the VERY useful bit of info about the gas tank arrow. Who knew?!
I bought my cats the Drinkwell and my cats love it. I have it in the living room and I cannot even hear it anymore. It’s a humming noise. Of course, I have two cats that like to drink from the faucet. Must be why they love the fountain.
Just wanted to let you know I got the CD player today.
THANKS! I especially like that it has a radio, now I can listen to BOBFM at work! 😀
Also, the fact that you included batteries, rules. Too bad they were dead! hehe
Portlifying! Hee!!!
Ass bacteria. I’ll say. Just the other day I gave myself a WICKED papercut. I find that running a wound through my ass does WONDERS for the healing process.
After I read about the gas gauge arrow thing I kept meaning to check my car. Remembered to this morning, and not only does it have an arrow, it actually says “Fuel fill” (rather than a little picture) with the arrow right next to it. We’ve had this car for four or five years and I never noticed the damn thing. Heh. Now I just need to look at the truck and see if I really have managed to drive that vehicle for over 10 years without noticing it…
omg. that pic of Tom is so hilarious.