11/24/09 – Tuesday

Note: I’m taking the rest of the week off from posting. I’ll still be updating sporadically over at Love & Hisses, though!   * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *   I need to make an … Continue reading “11/24/09 – Tuesday”

Note: I’m taking the rest of the week off from posting. I’ll still be updating sporadically over at Love & Hisses, though!

 

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I need to make an announcement here, and I hope y’all aren’t too disappointed: we’re not doing the holiday card exchange this year. The price of the cards combined with the price of postage has just gotten way too high and I really can’t justify the expense anymore.

I know you guys understand.

 

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On Sunday, I didn’t do much of anything. It was gray and rainy (or threatening to rain, in any case) and cold, and I just wasn’t in the mood to do ANYthing. So after a run to the grocery store, I hung out with the Cookies for a little while, and then went upstairs to hang out with the Wonkas. After a short nap with the Wonkas (really, you lay down and are immediately covered with warm purring little bodies. How can you NOT fall asleep?), I walked into the foster kitten room to put something away, and glanced out the window.

And saw our mailbox and the post it had been on strewn in pieces across the lawn.

Sputtering obscenities, I came downstairs and beckoned Fred onto the front porch. We stood and stared in amazement.

“When THE HELL did that happen?” I asked. I’d gotten home from the grocery store less than an hour before and I was pretty sure I’d have noticed if the mailbox was in pieces on the lawn.

(My Mailbox is in Pieces on the Lawn would be an excellent name for a country song.)

Fred thought about it and said that he’d heard a loud sound while I was in with the Cookies. We have a lot – A LOT – of 18 wheelers going by our house, and he’d heard a loud noise and then the sound of air brakes, and then the truck had kept going. He figured it was nothing, so didn’t even bother to look out the window to see what was going on.

There was no putting the mailbox back together – the post was in pieces, the mailbox was in pieces. So Fred picked everything up and tossed it in the trash.

It really really really really fucking PISSES ME OFF that that douchebag couldn’t even be bothered to stop after he hit the goddamn mailbox. Fucking douchebag.

WHAT A DOUCHEBAG.

I can only hope that hitting the mailbox did some damage to his truck, but I’m going to guess that it probably didn’t do any at all.

DOUCHEBAG.

And of course yesterday, because we have no mailbox, the mail lady didn’t leave our mail. She may have driven into the driveway and blown her horn, but I wasn’t home, so no mail for us today.

I REALLY LIKE CHECKING THE MAIL. IT’S THE HIGH POINT OF MY DAY.

Fred stopped at the post office on his way home and talked to the lady who works there. She said they could hold our mail for us at the post office and he could pick it up every day until we get a new mailbox in place. Then she told him to write down our names and address, and as soon as she saw my name, she laughed and said “Oh, I know who you are!”

I REALLY LIKE TO ORDER STUFF ONLINE AND HAVE IT MAILED TO ME, SHADDUP.

Every time I think of that douchebag hitting the mailbox and continuing on, it makes me want to devote my life to tracking him down and kicking his ass.

Fucker.

As we were laying on our respective couches later, talking about it, I kept saying “I cannot believe that utter fucking ASSHOLE just hit the mailbox and KEPT ON GOING!” and Fred kept saying “I can’t believe I didn’t even turn around and look out the window when I heard the noise!”

When we bought this house three years ago, there was no mailbox. The lady who sold us the house said that they didn’t have a mailbox because they were afraid it’d get hit by a drunk driver. Yesterday, Fred said “I wonder if that means it DID get hit by a drunk driver!”

The fucking cars on this road seem to spend an awful lot of time going off the road RIGHT ONTO OUR LAWN. In the two and a half years we’ve lived here, countless cars and trucks have left tire marks on the edge of our lawn near the street. A guy in a truck went off the road, across our lawn, through the ditch, before finally stopping over on the church property. An 18-wheeler came across the road into the ditch. I’m sure there’s more I’m not remembering. AND I’M SURE THEY WERE ALL TALKING ON THEIR CELL PHONES AT THE TIME.

It makes me want to put a cement wall across the front yard protecting the house, because you just KNOW some douchebag is going to come flying up the road and then going flipping across our lawn onto the front porch and into the living room.

Fucking douchebags.

 

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I know it’s deer-hunting season (or so I assume, by the fact that I’m seeing men in hunting gear, and yesterday I saw a truck with two dead deer in the bed), but good lord – I have seen no less than 8 deer laying dead by the side of the road in various parts of this area. I’m thinking cars and trucks are doing a better job of killing those deer than any hunter could!

 

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Excellent news – THE COOKIES’ TESTS ALL CAME BACK NEGATIVE!!! YAY!!!!!


“YES, MOTHER, that IS a booger on my forehead! It’s the new cool thing all the kids are doing! GEEZ!”


“No! You go away! This are MY lap for snuggling in!”


“I said go away!!!”

 

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“First I stunned him with the ear floof, and then I stole his hat! Take that, fat man!”


“I dub thee… Sir Stinkybutt! HEE HEE HEE!”


Pretty Mikey in the sun.


He’s not all ear floof. He’s got some pretty impressive whiskers, too!


Gigglin’ Veruca.

 

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“Hello, hi, HELLO? I’d like in, please!” I spend half my life letting Maxi in and then out. Then in, then out. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Repeat FOREVER.

 

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Previously
2008: Google is such a goddamn know-it-all.
2007: Questions, answered.
2006: No entry.
2005: I think I need to go eat some deviled eggs to assuage the pain.
2004: And I just glared at him and thought to myself Just because you’re too stupid and scatterbrained to read and watch TV at the same time doesn’t mean I am, jackass.
2003: “Purring? You don’t like the sound of them purring?”
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: Just a little more knowledge o’ Robyn y’all can add to your notes.
1999: No entry.

30 thoughts on “11/24/09 – Tuesday”

  2. Is there any reason why you couldn’t put your new mailbox on a super duper reinforced concrete tower type thing? Then when the next ass-clown hits it might register they hit something. You should also be able to hear it just fine from the house. 😉

    Happy Thanksgiving to the Crooked Acres Gang!

    1. That reminds me of an episode of a crime drama where the guy was tired of mailbox baseball, so he filled it with concrete and when the kids hit it with the baseball bat, it like ripped his arm off and the car veered into a tree and killed them. And somehow the guy with the mailbox was in trouble.

      1. CSI Vegas – season 8 or 9… I thought of that exact same thing when I read this entry! Yeah, don’t use reinforced concrete, they’d blame you for any damage, blockheads!

    2. Yeah, Fred said we should put a little flower garden around the new mailbox, and put rebar in it to “support the flowers”. Anyone who hit them wouldn’t get hurt, but it’d certainly shred their tires.

      (And then they’d promptly sue us for a million bucks, I’m sure!)

      1. My mom lives around a lot of people who have “Concrete” mailboxes. Sometimes they are brick. I say SCREW EM, they are trespassing if they run into or damage YOUR mailbox! God, I hate humans. Grr.

        Also, I think half the reason people have indoor-only cats is because of all the in-out-in-out-in-out bullshit that indoor-outdoor cats do. JESUS!!! I finally just had my husband cut a hole in the door when we had indoor-outdoor cats: let your own damn self in and out, dumbass cat!

  4. Maybe Fred’s next building project can be a low stone masonry wall along the front of your property …

  5. Maybe you could try putting a couple of medium sized boulders at the edge of your yard to discourage people from driving up into it. Most landscaping places would have something like that and will come and set them for you.

    1. Oops,I just reread this and realized that you said the Cookies, not the Wonkas, tested negative. Not that I’m not thrilled that the Cookies are healthy, but my Hooray! was because I thought the Wonkas’ retest was negative. I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

  8. Oh, my mailbox is in pieces on my lawn,
    My girlfriend up and left and now she’s gone,
    My truck is fried,
    And my dog done died,
    Which is why I’m singin’ you this sad, sad song!!

    (Nashville, here I come!)

  9. Like noo, I would like to send you guys a card anyway – I have this whole stack of cards here, and someone’s got to get them.

    No reciprocation required. 🙂

  11. Sorry to hear about your mailbox. I once had a very cool mermaid mailbox that I paid a lot for and everyone loved it. We live on a busy road that is a “main drag” between 3 towns. A local track team used to run it and my mermaid mailbox was the stopping point. A dirtbag decided to behead my poor mermaid-mailbox baseball I guess. Fucker. We now have the Sopranos mailbox metal w/a horse on it. Looks goofy in front of a basic ranch but hubby choose it not me. It has proven to be indestructable so far. My neighbor in the cul-de-sac behind us had people parking on her corner property ruining her grass. She and her dad put down cinderblocks-problem solved. My bf’s parents had a buthcher shop on a corner property in Philly. They had a tall (5ft?) brick wall between the house and garage. One winter a guy slid on ice and wrecked his corvette on the wall. He was a customer, neighbor and friend of her brother. He sued them and won-the douche.I think the brick wall sounds like a good idea. Yeah they got sued but he didn’t hit the house and hurt anyone.

    1. I don’t understand how someone can RUN INTO A WALL and then SUE THE PEOPLE whose property he damaged?? That is ridiculous.

      1. The wall didn’t get hurt but the fiberglass corvette was toast. I agree my friends’ family was totally innocent but that’s our crazy legal system for you.

        1. That just… i don’t see the logic in that. You run into a wall with your car and then you SUE THE OWNERS OF THE WALL? That is so crazy, I just can’t even address it rationally because it does not make sense to me.

  13. happy Thanksgiving to You and Fred and all the furkids! Did you see Stephen King and Stephen Spielberg plan to do a series for cable on THE DOME? I tried to email it to you and it wouldn’t work. It was in Variety on Saturday. I hopoe they pull it off-it sounds great. Ofcourse I have to read it first after I finish The Dark Tower which I just started.

  14. Rather than a SOLID barrier(because of the sue-factor),I thought about those tall,plastic reflective driveway markers that people put up during the snowtime months.
    In the dark,the reflections will help all but the most drunk drivers be more aware of the edge of the road.
    Or highly reflective tape,the kind that they use on official road signs,could be applied to stakes(Glue it,staple it on?)and again,the edge of the road would be more obvious.
    Would your road department be willing to put down those dots on the edge of the pavement that sound horrific if your car strays over the white line?
    If not,think of homemade versions-do a little late night road work yourself and glue down something similar. Maybe even notching the road edge would have the same effect as the official dots.Concrete dots??

  15. I’m glad to hear the news about the kittehs!

    Couldn’t you get some of your turkeys to “mess up” the drivers that use your yard as part of the road?

    With your cats, dogs, pigs, turkeys and chickens it would be like Thunderdome at your house! ;-D

  16. Here is an excellent solution to your mailbox problem, and a back story:

    Until I was 10, we lived in the country on a dirt road. There was a large orchard down the road from us, which attracted both semi-trucks and lots of car traffic at various busy parts of the year. You probably can’t do this part, but my neighbor would take fallen trees off the neighboring farmer’s land and put them in the road so people would have to slow down.

    But, we still got a lot of idiots who would fly off the road into lawns, the farm, hit road signs and mailboxes. Potholes on dirt roads are a bitch.

    So, after our mailbox was hit a couple of times, my dad put it on a huge piece of wood (I think it was like three 2×4 bolted together) and sunk it 3″ into the ground and cemented it in with a couple of bags of cement.

    The next time someone hit our mailbox, they didn’t get very far because it took out their front end, bwahahahahahahahaha. They had to pause long enough that my dad was able to see who it was and get out the shotgun (just joking), but he was able to get their plates and whatnot written down. This guy turned out to be drunk.

    So, build a mailbox worthy of taking out someone’s front end if they hit it. That way, if they hit it, you’ll probably have to replace something, but at least you have the satisfaction of knowing you fucked them up 🙂

  17. Happy Thanksgiving, Fred and Robyn!
    Hey readers, check out the cat calendars on the side bar. They are so cute. I have mine.

  18. Well put up an addy in a post so WE can send you Christmas cards Robyn. I insist!

    This Canadian is in Wendover Nevada. But being the geek I am I am checking your blog after 3 days away 🙂

  19. time to get some big ass boulders and space them about 5-9 feet away from one another… let the cars hit the boulders instead of your lawn 🙂

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