wind silence to announce that Fred And3rson is a great big liar.
Well. Except that he isn’t.
I don’t know what it is about Lowe’s that makes me so gassy. I suspect it’s a defense mechanism much like that of skunks. Next time we go to Lowe’s, I’ll announce to Fred that I’m feeling gassy and we’ll see how fast we get out of there.
I should have tried that last night when we were in Lowe’s and he kept pointing out the god-awful ugliest curtains EVER to me. I wish I’d had my camera with me.
* * *
We watched
Jackass 2 the weekend I got back from Pigeon Forge, and let me announce that (1) I have no use for Jackass, because it’s an idiotic show/ movie, and I hate those guys and their stupid things they do, and watching their idiocy always manages to piss me off, and (2) I find Bam Margera oddly appealing. Not Johnny Knoxville (those crazy, twirling eyes betray a certain amount of mental and probably emotional damage) and not Wee Man (though he has a nice-guy face) and CERTAINLY not Steve-O (I would happily pay to appear in Jackass 3 if I could punch Steve-O in the face), but Bam Margera. I don’t know why. It’s a little disturbing, really.
I’m going to go jump off a cliff now.
* * *
Speaking of Pigeon Forge, I think I mentioned that we did a lot of shopping while we were there, and more than once I had to produce my driver’s license when I used my credit (debit) card. For the most part, the clerks would glance at the license, the name on my debit card to be sure they matched, and finish ringing up the sale.
Because god knows if I’d stolen the credit card I couldn’t have easily stolen the driver’s license too, right?
Anyway, a couple of times the clerk noticed that I looked vastly different now than I did on the card, and a couple of them asked how I’d lost the weight (or actually, one asked and the other just commented “Wow, you’ve lost a lot of weight”, to which the only possible response is “Yes I have.” Unless you’re my husband, who would surely have been compelled to tell the clerk how he’d lost the weight, how much he’d lost, and that he likes cheese. Just not on a salad.), but I noticed that neither of them even hesitated at accepting that the woman in the driver’s license picture was me. I guess I still resemble the “then” me enough to pass.
I should totally replace the picture on my license with a picture of Miz Poo, and when they looked questioningly at me, I could say it was taken on a bad hair day.
* * *
Someone explain to me, please, what exactly “misses” sizes entail. I’ve been shopping exclusively in the “women’s” section, but occasionally I’ll see something cute in the “misses” section, only I’m scared to go over there, because I think it might be meant for itty bitty size 0 girls who are too cool for skool and if I step foot in that section an alarm would go off (“Woop! Woop! Woop! Old lady alert! There’s nothing for you in this section, lady, move along!”) and security would come running and kick me out.
So, enlighten me, wouldya?
* * *
365 Self-Portrait Project #3.
In front of the computer, where I spend far too many hours. I call this one “Robyn and her wattle.” I’ve noticed recently that while I sit in front of my computer and stare with glazed eyes at whatever I’m reading, I always either chew the fingernails on my left hand, or pick at my face. Bad habits (the chewing and picking, that is. Well. The incessant surfing also). I’m not terribly motivated to stop either of them, though.
* * *
Cosette is still at the vet’s (I’m sure the vet hasn’t had a chance to see her yet), and hopefully they’ll be able to figure out what’s going on with her so I can pick her up later this morning, or this afternoon.
Last night Fred had had enough of Eponine’s scaredy-cat ways, and he chased her around the room until he caught her, and he picked her up and petted her until she calmed down, and then he put her down and petted her some more until she gave up the fight and threw herself onto her back for a belly rub. This morning, she ran a little less. I think, given enough time, we’ll turn her into a lovebug whether she likes it or not!
Eponine, up close.
I love this kitty and her tail-wagging ways.
Wild boy Javert. It’s hard to play with Eponine when Javert’s around, ’cause if you start waving a toy at her, he runs right over and grabs it. He cracks me up.
Cosette, before her trip to the vet.
Moondance and Moonman are doing well. I think moving them into the guest bedroom was a good move – they LOVE to sit on the table by the window and look out at the neighborhood, sleep in the sun, play, and greet us when we go in to spend time with them.
Last night we opened the door to their room so they could come out and explore. For the most part, Moonman was uinterested in exploring – he just wanted to hang out in his room. Moondance explored quite a bit, especially when Fred brought her downstairs, and of course Mister Boogers had to show his butt again. The good thing is that while Mister Boogers acts like a jerk, growls and hisses and goes into hysterics, he doesn’t attack the cat who’s freaking him out, so we don’t have to worry about the safety of our fosters. (Of course, I think Moondance could kick his butt, anyway, so I’m not too worried about her!)
He loves to hang out under the spud’s desk.
“What?”
“Dude. Seriously. You’re in my space.”
* * *
Previously
2006: Right now, Fred’s thanking his lucky stars that I don’t have this much Christmas stuff, because it would drive him NUTS.
2005: (YES, GODDAMNIT! I HAVE CONFIRMED THAT YOU CAN, IN FACT, BEGIN WRITING THE FUCKING CHECK BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY HEAR WHAT THE TOTAL IS, YOU IN-MY-WAY MOTHERFUCKER!)
2004: I need to go crack open a beer, watch the game, scratch my balls, and think about what this means.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: “Yeah, so you‘ll be the one with the big head blocking everyone else’s view.”
2000: No, I’m not on any drugs, why do you ask?]]>
You’re a Misses size, missy! Misses are cut for the adult woman, and the largest Misses size is generally 16 (sometimes 18). So, see, it’s just the next set of sizes down from Women’s!
That teensy-weensy girl proportion of which you speak is Juniors size. They’re cut more for skinny teens (although considering your height, you might be able to wear some of those as well)
Oh, and YAY! to me for FINALLY being the first poster! I’m so easy to please!
How long are the Moonman and Moondance staying with you? I know usually it’s until there is room or babies are neutered, etc, but since these two are a bit older, I wasn’t sure.
Robyn – it’s time for you to go over to the Misses section. I don’t think you wear Women’s anymore. Congratulations!
Not only are juniors sized differently, they are also styled differently. For example, I can wear a junior size, but since I do not wish to appear in public wearing a shredded Hello Kitty hoodie paired with a pink plaid kilt with rhinestone appointments, I usually scurry back to the Misses section, my dignity intact.
Seems that everyone is talking about Bam Margera and mostly about his cute butt which he displays proudly in “Jackass 2” so you are not alone!
Misses is such a dumb word. I too have a thing for Bam. I didn’t realize it until I watched a marathon of his reality show one weekend and I think he is completely hot now although I’m not sure exactly why. Steve-O is completely gross even when he tries to “clean up” which is basically never.
I know Fred lied about that fart. Nothing but roses would come from your behind, Robyn. LOL
I used to think Bam was hot in a ‘bad boy’ appealing way, too. Until I heard about him doing Jessica Simpson. EEEEEWWWW the man has no taste.
And yes, check out the Misses section. The one you describe sounds more like the Juniors sizes. For the record, when I was thinner, in my 20’s I wore the Junior sizes. But nowadays they seem to be geared more to the tweenager set with all the trendiness.
So yeah, definately look in the Misses.
Good luck!
You are DEFINITELY in the misses sizes now!
Yep, you should be able to wear Misses sizes. I think it’s more of a style thing when they separate the two. Seems that size 14 goes pretty quick in Misses sizes, at least where I live. And their sizes don’t go up very high, womens’ sizes go a little higher than misses. OK, now I’m making no sense.
Start shopping in the misses section. You’re a 14, right? They have your size 🙂 Misses sizes use even numbers. Juniors are the odd numbers and generally cut smaller, and you’ll know when you look at junior clothes that it’s nothing you’d be caught dead in at our age 😉
Besides the style/cut differences, Misses are the even numbers, Juniors are the odd numbers.
Also, even though there are 16’s and 18’s in both Misses and Womens, they are often not the same size. A 16W (Womens) is roughly equal to an 18 in Misses.
You definitely belong in the Misses section… but I don’t think you’d want to go to the Juniors, whether or not you fit.
Oh yeah, and it’s funny you finally mentioned the Fred’s last entry. I read it at work and totally cracked up, all alone in my office.
Yeah, you definitely can wear misses sizes now. The women’s sizes are cut bigger all over (an 18W is bigger than a misses 18) but misses are regular sizes, not the itty bitty junior sizes.
I wear a medium (somewhere around size 8-10 or 10-12 I think) top in misses but an XL (11-13 or 13-15 depending on the store) in junior sizes if I find something nice there.
Let me get this straight, you actually drove from another state to come to Pigeon Forge? That’s just messed up!
I live in TN about 30 minutes from Pigeon Forge and I’d rather shove bamboo shoots under my toenails than go to that place…..too many fricken people.
this is my first time to your blog….stumbled over here from Veering Off Course. You are so going on my blogroll- you crack my shit up!
You take the most amazing pictures….!
you gassy thang!
I gotta say – the comment “He likes cheese. Just not on a salad.” cracks me up every time.
The real truth about the differences between misses and woman’s sizes. It’s all in the proportions. Misses sizes are tapered in at the waist for people who have “normal” womanyly waistlines. The shoulders are also sometimes smaller. Women’s sizes are thicker through the waist and shoulders. Back when I was thinner, I could fit in a size women’s 18, but the misses’ size 18 wasn’t even close. That’s because I’m shaped like an apple with shoulder pads on!
I love Jackass! I’m a sucker for stupidity. I think Bam is cute, but something tells me he’s a closet gay. Those boys just crack me up. I think it would be fun to spend a day hanging out with them! HAHA
Oh – forgot. To Miz Boo from Suggie: “Sister, just live with it. That darn box is in the way. I wish MOOOOOOMM would move it away from the window. What is she thinking, blocking the window anyway”?
LOL, Fred’s story is a gas!
I guess I’m the oddball here, because I actually like Johnny Knoxville. He just seems so… I don’t know… wounded, and he needs to be fixed up.
Bam’s a spoiled brat.
Robyn, I’m sorry if you’ve answered this a million times, and if you have can you or someone point me in that direction, but I want to know if you had problems with saggy skin after you lost all the weight. That’s something I’m kind of nervous about myself. Not that I’ll ever get around to losing all mine, but just in case. Ya never know.
I had to add my two cents since I just watched Jackass 2 last night. I have a 15 yr old boys sense of humor and loved it. Well, except for the pooping and puking. I usually gag along with the movie. I agree that Bam is hot, but I also think Johnny is too, and I thought Chris P. was lookin kinda good in this movie. Also, Bam had a nice ass until they branded it.
Don’t feel too bad about the fascination with Bam. I have my own strange fascination with Kid Rock. (I know!)
Ok. Seriously. Fred’s tale about you at Lowe’s…all I have to say is THANK GOD IT ISN’T JUST ME! Thanks for sharing about Fred sharing about. I laughed until I cried and I don’t do that easily.
Bam Margera is hot. Like seriously. But Ryan Dunn is hotter (more hot?). And I just watched Jackass 2 tonight. And found it hilarious.
Ok since we are confessing…
I have a weird phenomenon that when I come home from work, as soon as I stand up outta my car and start to walk towards my house, I fart. The.Whole.Way.
Everyday, every house, every job, everytime.
There. I said it. I feel clean as if I had a colon confessional cleansing.
Oh and Bam is the only one that does it for me too.
I was SO with his Mom on the ruining his cute ass!!!!! 🙁
I never get tired of the joke about Fred and the cheese. Cracks me up EVERY time.
P.S. I am *in love* with Bam. Always have been. And I’m not usually into younger, skinnier guys who put their lives in danger on a regular basis.
OK this is on behalf of MizPoo; “Shouldn’t that have said,’good hair day,” lady????”
Oh, Lord, I love Javert — if there was some earthly way I could drive down there and adopt him, I would in a heartbeat!
I could eat Javert between 2 slices of bread. Seriously.
You have the best cat pictures on the internet!
Also, I am familiar with the “wow, you’ve lost weight” driver’s license phenomenon. It really does get tiresome.