* * * So yesterday morning I had to do what I’d been putting off for a few weeks – go to Sam’s Club. I thought about going when we were down to two cases of water in the garage, but I just didn’t wanna, and Tuesday evening we hit critical mass with the water, so I knew I had to suck it up and get my ass in gear. I left the house around 9:30 and headed for Huntsville. First I stopped at Target, because I needed to look for Christmas gifts for my niece, and I’d gotten guidelines from my mother, and was ready to cross Mireya off my shopping list. I got a few outfits, and looked and looked for a plain, simple, pretty cardigan in the girl’s section, and would you imagine that they’d carry such an OBVIOUS item? Why, no. Of course not. I bought a few groceries, and then wandered around the Christmas section looking for a quick and simple (but cute) way to wrap gift cards, and bought a bunch of that stuff. I thought about buying wrapping paper, but I’ve got a ton of it left over from last year, it’s just a matter of finding it, so I didn’t. I perused the book section but didn’t buy any (NANCE), and by the time I got checked out and out to the car, I’d spent almost an hour in there. Leaving Target, I went over to the pet store to see which of my foster monkeys had been adopted – they do adoptions on Tuesday evenings – and was dismayed to find that of the five who’d been there Monday morning (it’s the KATG(2) bunch, and Rhian was adopted over the weekend), none of them had been adopted. DAMN IT. While I was there, I bought a few things (it’s against the law for me to leave the pet store without buying something whether we need it or not) and then headed out. I went to Sam’s Club, and holy CRAP that place was busy. I don’t know why that surprised me, because it’s always busy – Christmas shopping time, or no. I had a fairly extensive list, but ended up only buying water, toothbrushes, toothpaste, paper towels, and the new Dean Koontz book (hush up, Nance. It’s DEAN KOONTZ. I had no choice, I had to buy it!). Then I got to wait forever to check out because, despite the large number of people shopping at Sam’s, there were only three registers open. It was okay, though – there were plenty of people to watch, so watch them I did. From Sam’s I headed to the mall. When I walked into the mall, I found that a new store, dedicated to girls’ clothes, had opened since the last time I was there. Sure that I’d find what I needed, I went in and… of course I didn’t. Not a simple cardigan to be found ANYWHERE. Figures. It wasn’t like I HAD to find a cardigan – it was just something my mother mentioned that Mireya could use. But the fact that I couldn’t find one was driving me nuts and it was like a challenge. I ended up spending an hour and a half running around the mall going into every friggin’ store that carries girls’ clothes, looking for a SIMPLE, PLAIN CARDIGAN. Is that so much to ask for?! I think NOT. Among the running into stores that carried girls’ clothes, I went into Victoria’s Secret and bought three bottles of So Sexy (I prefer to call it “So Cheesy”, because that is the cheesiest name EVER) shampoo. I was going to buy two bottles, but when I found out that they’re 3 bottles for $21 rather than $9.50 each, I had to go grab another bottle. (And Fred, who uses $1-per-bottle Suave shampoo, is writhing in agony right now.) I was standing in line behind a young woman who was buying something – perfume, maybe? – and as the cashier rang up her order, she said “Do you have an Angel Card?” and when she found out that the young woman didn’t have one, she asked if she wanted one, and as I stood in line I hoped that when it was my turn to pay, the cashier would ask if I wanted to apply for an Angel Card, so I could get all indignant and say “I do NOT want to apply for your Angel Card, THANK YOU, because your interest rate is HORRIFYING, and besides, do I look like a woman who shops here all that often? Do I look like I need a pair of sweatpants that say “Spank me” across the ass? Do I? I DO NOT. I’ll just take my shampoo, THANK YOU.” Except that when it was my turn to pay the cashier just rang up my shampoo and didn’t say a word about any Angel Card. Which made me want to indignantly say “And why do I not DESERVE an Angel Card? ARE YOU CALLING ME OLD AND SHLUMPY AND FLABBY?” But I just smiled and paid and went along my way. I also stopped in Steve and Barry’s, which is the store that carries Sarah Jessica Parker’s Bitten clothing line. I looked in the girls’ section first to look for a cardigan (no cardigan. SHOCKER.), and then I stopped in the Bitten section, and I ended up buying a couple of shirts and a sweater and you just shut up. I tried the shirts on when I got home, but they… well, they TOUCH MY STOMACH and it makes me feel all self-conscious and itchy and why do clothes have to touch you? Why can’t I just buy bubble clothing that only touches me at the neck and knees? WHY? So I left the mall with shirts that I probably won’t wear and NO cardigan, but at least I have my good-smelling shampoo, so the day was certainly not a waste. On the drive home I realized I hadn’t eaten a single thing and it was after 1:00, which probably explained why I had a headache. I stopped at McDonald’s for a salad, and when I got home, I carried all my stuff inside (except for four of the cases of water I’d bought at Sam’s, because I’ll deal with that later), went out to let the chickens into the back yard, checked for eggs, and then I sat down and stuffed my face. And then I surfed on over to LLBean.com and bought Mireya a cardigan. A simple, plain cardigan. In pink, because she’s a girly-girl. I was so sleepy after I ate lunch and answered some email that I went and read for a little while, then turned over and napped for twenty minutes. I didn’t wake feeling too terribly refreshed, but after I’d stumbled around for a little while, I woke up. Today, I have no plans except for vacuuming the house. I’m going to settle in and watch some TV, probably, and I definitely need to go out to the garage and dig around for the wrapping paper and stuff, and maybe some decorations. I might even get started on the Holiday cards so that come Saturday (December 1st, since I refuse to send any out before that), a bunch will be ready to go out. Fred was all appalled at dinner yesterday when he opened the cupboard to get out a plate and found that I’d replaced our regular plates with my Christmas plates. I figure, they need to get used more than once a year, they’re so cute. I’ll store them and put the regular plates back once Christmas is over.
“She thinks I don’t see her back there, but I do. Oh yes, I do. And when she least expects it, I will leap upon her with a furious vengeance, and I will unleash my ninja kitty powers, and she will wish she had NEVER been born.”
**********************************************
Old Man Spot. Who does NOT look ratty. (Except that he does.)
When you have so many cats that you start counting whole cats that actually belong to you but you don’t want to admit it as half cats then you definately, ooh maybe, I don’t know, have too many cats. When will you be hitting the double digits? I’m happy at least that you seem to be admitting that Newt and Maxi are at least half your cats.
Jen: I wasn’t counting Newt as the half orange, I was counting Spanky as half orange (since he’s mostly white). However, when you start counting cats that ARE yours and you’ll admit it as half cats, then probably you have too many cats. 🙂 We will be hitting double digits NEVER. (Says the woman who once wrote that we’d never have more than 5 cats. HA.)
Why is Stinkerbell not on the Kitties Page? Why no love for the Stinky?
I agree about the orange kitties. My two are the happiest kitties I have ever seen!
So Poo doesn’t count as Part Orange? 😉
Styro has a pooint.
That cat? Is gorgeous. The captioning? Hilarious. He (she?)looks like he has personality with a capital P!!! 🙂
We kitty-sat our neighbors’ 2 orange cats who are under a year old. They, too, were the happiest cats I’ve ever been around. I think you’re on to something with the orange thing!
Bubbly clothes – I definitely get it!
Just if case you are still looking for a cardigan they have them at jc penneys.
Just had to let you know that I have totally enjoyed reading you everyday this month and am so excited that you are going to be doing the same for December. Sure hope this doesn’t burn you out for ’08. We’ve got to have our doses of life at Crooked Acres.
Ok, lets see the shirts.
Reading about foster kitty Skittles gave me an (obvious and probably already suggested) idea for future foster kitty names. Candies! How about Peppermint, Chocolate, Twix, Hershey, Runt, Spree, Caramel, or Snickers? Or, you could go a little more upscale and focus on the “exotic” chocolate brand names like Ghirardelli, Dove, Toblerone, and Lindt.
Hmmm…I’m kinda hungry now…
Oh yeah. My old guy is an orange kitty, and he’s the happiest, most easy-going cat in the world. As far as we can tell, the only thing that makes him unhappy is if I’m gone for more than about 12 hours. That’s his tolerance for “being without mama.” And even then, apparently, all he does is go and sit in front of my chair and meow.
I was afraid my ex had ruined his sweet nature–he got really skittish for a while–but once we were all moved out, he bounced right back.
my orange kitty Aramis is an absolute sweetie-pie. He’s a little skitish, but def the most loving cat I have ever had when he gets to the kneading and purring.
My all orange (and truthfully, not very attractive) cat, Marshall, is the sweetest cat ever born. He is the only cat I have ever seen who can ‘make bread’ on bare skin and it doesn’t hurt.
My half orange/half nuts cat, DC, well, he’s just a shit. A shit who knows I adore him and will therefore put up with his crap. We have a dysfunctional relationship. He ignores my existence while I try to show him how much I love him. It’s the teeniest bit pathetic.
“Why can’t I just buy bubble clothing that only touches me at the neck and knees?” – The idea of this made me snortle aloud! Maybe this is your million dollar idea! You should make a line like that, and maybe Steve and Barry would carry them? Eh? Eh?
“Skittles” made me think of the same thing as Sethra. I was thinking Snickers, Twix, Whatchamacallit, and so on.
“Skittles” makes me laugh, because as a history buff, it
makes me think of a very famous Victorian courtesan. She was
a naughty girl, to put it mildly. The name doesn’t seem too appropriate for a spayed kitty, but at least your girl is naughty, if not in the same way.
I have a question for you and it’s pretty urgent:
We lost our kitty Archie last week. He was an old guy but very well loved. Our other cat, Felix (she’s female but we didn’t name her) has started jumping on our bed to pee. She doesn’t pee anywhere else in the house, just rushes into the bedroom if anyone leaves the door open a bit, jumps on the bed and lets loose. It’s driving me insane — we have handmade quilts that can’t take much more washing without falling apart. (Frankly, I’d rather have the quilts than Felix at this point.) Do you think that Felix is reacting to Archie’s death by pissing on his favourite resting-place? (Archie always slept on our bed.)
She’s healthy, has a good appetite, is up on all her shots, so we’re pretty certain this is behavioural, not medical.
OK – time for an orange cat (someday). My first experience experience was with a mean neighborhood tom cat – he was nasty. Maybe it was because he was long haired. Ha! That cat terrorized a 3 square block area except our yard. Our cat was very territorial and he went up against that cat and chased him out of the yard. After that day (I saw the “fight”), the neighbors reported that when the cat was walking in the neighborhood, he’d get to our property line, cross the street and once he got past our property, he would cross back. I guess he was just a bully with nothing to “back it up”! Go Tinker!
Heh. *I* have an Angels Card! Maybe I should buy myself something pretty?
Our vet somehow got a little orange Tabby who was in very bad shape. I guess someone found him and brought him in to her. Since she had two older cats at home she is keeping him as an office pet. He is not yet fully grown and so cute. He is so laid back and good natured. It is a cat-only clinic so he doesn’t have to deal with dogs. He is so interested in each of the cats that come in, he goes right up to check in the carriers when they come in. Most of them including ours aren’t as agreeable to meeting a new cat as he is.
didn’t you mention recently being slightly jealous when someone mentions Trader Joe’s because you are not near one. I feel the same about Steve and Barry’s -there are none in Northern CA, no Bitten for us.
Could you comment again about the HORRID women on “The Real Housewives of O.C.” That show is so deliciously bad.
If you show us a picture of you wearing the shirts that touch parts of your body that are not your neck and wrists, and you get tens of comments that tell you that you look marvelous in them, would you consider wearing them – on the off chance that you would actually get USED to that feeling of fabric touching your skin?
Note to Jane (Not the famous one)- Doesn’t Target carry Bitten?
Male orange cats are happy and mellow. My female orange cat is a prissy bitch.
My 15 lb solid orange tabby is a great big ass. He wants his MOMMA and nothing but his MOMMA and spends his time making my boyfriend’s life miserable because he dares to look in the direction of HIS MOMMA. Even I have to admit he’s just an asshole sometimes.