* * * Yesterday, on the way home from the pet store, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things, and I happened across a rack of gift cards, and as I stood and looked, I realized that there were a bunch of gift cards from the places I’d intended to order them online (is that a convoluted sentence? You know what I mean!), and so I ended up buying a bunch of gift cards at the grocery store. The cashier apparently highly disapproved of something – I don’t know whether it was the fact that I was purchasing so many gift cards, or that I’d brought my own bag, or that I turned down the bagboy’s (bagman? Can you call a 60-something a “boy”?) offer to carry the bag out to my car (I said “No, that’s fine. I can get it.” and he said “But it’s heavy!” and I smiled and said “I COULD BENCH PRESS YOU OLD MAN, NOW UNHAND THE BAG!” or maybe “No, really. I’m stronger than I look!”, I don’t remember which.) or the fact that I was chomping on gum like it was my job* or – my secret fear – maybe she’s happened across my site and knows that I throw “fuck”s and “goddamn”s around like confetti, so she was waiting for me to bellow “GODDAMN, OLD MAN, GIVE ME THAT MOTHERFUCKING BAG AND GET YOUR ASS OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING WAY! MOTHERFUCK!”. I don’t know what her issue was, but she had the “I disapprove” vibes coming through loud and clear. Obviously it makes no difference in my life whether a random cashier at the grocery store disapproves of me, but I am curious. I wonder what the fuck her issue was? In any case, woohoo! After a trip to the grocery store and some quality time with my computer last night, I am 99% done with my Christmas shopping for my side of the family, and just have to wait to hear what to buy for Fred’s family. Woot! *Oprah hates gum-chewing, did you know that? It grosses her out or something. Shut up, Oprah. JESUS. I can’t stand the way your audience howls and claps and hoots and hollers and somehow that doesn’t get edited out, but I still watch, don’t I? Seriously. I couldn’t even stand to watch the Favorite Things show because of all the screaming. I suspect that if you told them to hold the hooting and howling and screaming until the end of the show, they would, OPRAH.
The look on Elle’s face is cracking me UP.
“It is time for the pettin’.”
Elle is just the happiest cat. She rolls around and purrs and if you don’t come and pet her, she’ll come to you and demand petting.
Punki has claimed Sugarbutt’s basket as her own. You can just imagine how THAT went over!
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Sweet sleepin’ Stinkerbelle.
Actually, the prune puree > oil substitution works pretty well in some recipes, but it needs to be something that’s dark in color to begin with and pretty strongly flavored. Chocolate cake is the only thing I’ve had it come out well in. (Unsweetened applesauce works even better, because you don’t have to hide the taste.)
But I admit, I do that with recipes all the time, because I know what I like.
Hhmmmm. I see a new permanent addition to the household, aka Miss stinkerbelle — anyone else taking bets?? Or, did I miss an entry already announcing her residency, ha??
Robyn double check the small print on those gift cards you can buy in stores other than the featured store/merchant. (For example, a Red Lobster restaurant gift card bought in, say, Staples)…. Often times there is a fee deducted from the value before you even use it, and other rules that generally s-u-c-k.
Lastly, my father tweaks recipes all the time. Last week, my husband and I were just starting to eat spaghetti and meatballs, when hubby got a weird look on his face. What’s in this sauce? he wondered, turning to my Dad. (Dad had helped out by putting the sauce into a pan and heating it). Oh, I didn’t think we had enough sauce, so I added a can of tomato soup. Huhhh????????
My Mom feels the same way about all the screamig on Oprah. She didn’t watch the Favorite Things Show, saying she can’t stand the screaming on a regular day, let alone the FT shows. Too funny! I’m such a dork, I cry my stupid eyes out when Oprah surprises her audience that way, and you know how big Oprah is on surprises!
I’m with you — the first time through with a new recipe, you make it The Way It Was Written.
Of course, it’s fine to invent new recipes, and also fine to tweak recipes until it’s just the way you like. But good grief, you have to try it the way the recipe creator intended it the first time… otherwise, you’re not really trying their recipe at all, are you?
Brian likes to change recipes too. He likes to add stuff and change things around. It especially annoys me with baked goods because I always think of my home ec teacher telling us the measurements have to be exact or the recipe won’t turn out. I thought it was a boy thing to change recipes. He thinks I’m crazy for not wanting to change them. We definitely cook 2 different ways.
Elle is having the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flehmen_response Flehmen response. (Many amusing pics on that page.)
I view a recipe as a list of suggestions rather than a must do it this way. I do try to make it the way they suggest the first time, but I’m not usually successful at that. My changes are usually for the better, which doesn’t help with the compulsion to tweak.
Oh my gosh, my grandmother used to do the substitution thing, too! What gives? She would put the weirdest things in her recipes, and they weren’t successful, either. Never made sense to us.
Oh yeah, I happened to be sick part of a day last week and was home and watched the Oprah’s Favorite Things show. I haven’t seen it for about 2 years, but both my husband (who works from home) and I noticed that the audience had toned down the screaming and were applauding but not going stark-raving-mad like usual. I actually think they were told to tone it down this year. Did anyone else watch and notice this?
Not to speak for Robyn, but Beth, you did miss the Stinkerbelle permanent-resident entries. Fred fell madly in love with the girl and they had to go fetch her back from the petstore so his poor little heart wouldn’t break. Seriously. It was FRED this time!
Because I feel bad for you mocking Fred’s flailing and excitable ways: At least he doesn’t do the reaching out while doing the magic finger dance to draaaaw the answer out of people. Ahem. And Hee!
The substitute recipe thing – I try to avoid it because I have not sense of taste and nothing I substitute every works. I’m also a very bad cat person – I only got 5 out of 10 on the cat quiz. Robyn, you are a cat genius, those questions were hard!
My daughter-in-law makes a yellow cake from the box and substitutes black cherry vanilla flavored yogurt for the oil. Unbelievely good. Moist and delicious.
Okay, so did the double-baked pie snap with a little poof of pumpkin dust when you bit into it?
Ever since Oprah said she hates gum chewing I’ve felt weird about doing it. I’m kind of pissed off at her for that.
My mother-in-law (May God rest her soul.) insisted on making ambrosia one year for Thanksgiving and took the recipe I’d given her and substituted half of the sour cream with Miracle Whip. AND she insisted on making it every year thereafter! In her book if something didn’t have Miracle Whip in it I guess it wasn’t fit to eat.
Ok, I can understand changing the ingredients of a recipe around a bit, but what made her think it was a good idea to bake the pie twice as long as the recipe said?! That seems silly to me!
My sister will be eating something that someone else has made and say “If you added such and such to this, it would be great!” She said this to something our sister in law made last year and I yelled out “Yeah! This tastes like crap! But add raspberry jam to it and maybe we’ll be able to tolerate it!” Cripes. It’s so frickin’ rude. We want to go to one of those throw the ingredients together and take it home to warm it up later places but we’re going to go behind her back so she doesn’t offend the chef’s and their recipes.
Yeah, Oprah’s audience of morons is only one of the many, many reasons I don’t watch her show.
Re: Grocery clerk with attitude. Is it the same clerk that got pissed off (waaaaay back) when she realized that you were Fred’s wife? Maybe she’s just a jealous snag.
Chewing gum is a perfectly acceptable habit as long as the chewer doesn’t sound like a cow pulling its foot out of the mud. It keeps the breath fresh and prevents heartburn. I don’t like women who have commitment issues giving out relationship advice, yet there goes Oprah preaching every damn day.
I never met a good cook who didn’t like to tweak recipes. I guess they get bored doing the same old thing all the time?
I think it all comes down to control issues, the recipe changing. I find it insulting when I give someone a perfectly good recipe and they do that without trying it the original way first because if they screw it up, then they think MY recipe sucks when it is really THEIR way that fucked it up.
I also hate people putting ketchup on things before tasting, or salting.
Yes I have issues.
Oh and I agree with Kathy, behind the back changing doesn’t hurt anyone, it is the ones that TELL you how it would be better if X,Y and Z or they try your recipe and tell you they changed it.
I do think that is rude. Would you take a homemade quilt from someone that slaved over it and rip out the stitches and re-sew it in front of them? Or complain about the material used?
To me? Same thing.
Hee.
🙂
Oprah drives me up the (really bad word here) wall. Her smugness is contagious and every audience seems to catch it. THis does not keep me from having her on TiVo. I’m comfortable with my hypocrisy.
Oh, well, at least she doesn’t hate squirrels like Rosie O’Donnell. I just can’t get past a hatred of squirrels.
Rosie O’Donnell LOVES squirrels. Sheesh.
Haha!
You make me smile, mom.
I laughed hysterically when you said that to the old man.
Though, I know you didn’t really say it.
.. or did you? >_>
::DUN DUN DUNNNNN::
Oh! HI EVERYONE THAT READS HER SITE!
Hey Dani (Spud)!!!
We miss your Mom’s stories about you on the site. Can you do some interesting things where you’re at, tell her about them, and photograph them, so she can post about them on this site?
Elle TOTALLY looks like an alien in that picture! Are you sure she did not come from Roswell??
I can’t imagine having strong feelings one way or the other about squirrels…
I usually follow a recipe closely at least the first time I make it. I might leave out an ingredient I hate or substitute almonds for pecans or walnuts (which I’m allergic to), but that’s as daring as I want to get when testing a new recipe.
Robin:
Did you by any chance record the Osmond family on Oprah??? If you did, I’d love to Paypal you money to cover a DVD and postage, and make a contribution to the Kitty Shelter, if you’d be willing to make me a copy. I’ve tried everybody I know and then you mentioned Oprah and I thought maybe, just maybe…..
>Okay… I suck at quizes !! 4/10… sigh BUT I still dote on my furfaces.
>And I so do the Flehmen lip thingy… I had just thought I had watched too many Elvis movies as a kid.
>And as for gag-a-licious recipe substitutions, I had a friend invite me over for supper with her family one night. For meatloaf. And what she served was not. I asked for her recipe(sneaky huh?). She had run out of hamburger-added pork breakfast sausage, tomato soup,onion, oatmeal, chopped green pepper, cracker crumbs, and because it seemed too dry…. a can of mushroom soup !! Now To me that is plain ‘ol NASTY.. and it was NASTY!!! After that…I would let it be my treat and I would bring pizza!!
About recipe substitution: Some people can read a recipe and know what it will taste like. It’s a little like having perfect pitch and being able to read music and hear it in your head. Some can do it, some can’t. And if you can, and you see that an otherwise good-sounding recipe really, really needs more of something or the addition of something else, then why on earth not? Especially when everyone who eats it then loves it and asks for the recipe?
I usually try out baking recipes as written, the first time.
But cooking recipes, only if they seem perfect the way they are.
I don’t think that’s so unusual.
By the way, I think it’s horribly rude to tell someone who has given you a recipe that she presumably loves, that you are going to make this and that change in it. If you change it, that’s your own affair, but why hurt the person’s feelings who gave it to you? No point to that unless you don’t like her. Just make it, eat it, and don’t serve your changed dish to her.
SPUD!!!!! So good to see you commenting, we miss you!
Rarely watch Oprah but on the one show I did catch I heard she forbids gum for all employees and once, gasp, had a guest come for dinner who was chewing GUM. Yes GUM in Oprah’s all mighty presence. Oprah reported she was SO not amused when the woman put her gum ON HER PLATE before she ate. Oprah had to chuck out the plate she was so afraid she would someday eat off the same plate. Lordy me can you imagine eating off the same plate someone put GUM on! I am surprised she did not toss the whole set!
I second that! Rosie loves her resident squirrel!