11-20-07

Colin bellowed “My Ox is broken!”, I yell that every time someone’s having an issue with an animal on TAR.

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I went to the pet store yesterday and was disappointed to find that none of the KATG(2) litter had been adopted, damnit. They didn’t seem to traumatized, though, and ran around like their butts were afire for the time I was there. At least they’re not all in one cage – they’ve been split up so that the girls are in one cage and the boys are in another. I expect that adoptions will pick up after Thanksgiving and remain high right up until Christmas – at least that’s been my experience in the past few years. Fingers crossed that the kittens are adopted by next Monday!
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I got groceries yesterday, and ended up buying an extra turkey so that I can brine and roast one at a future point, maybe in December. I’m not planning on brining the turkey for Thursday because, well, I just don’t wanna. I need to get the damn thing thawed first, and I don’t want to have to do the cold-water method and then brine it and then fucking roast it, because a regular roasted turkey will be just fine, thanks. We’re going to have 6 people for dinner (Fred’s sister’s son and daughter and their significant others will stop by, but aren’t staying for dinner), and we have a ten-pound turkey and a pork roast. Other than that, we’re making the collard greens, squash casserole, and Fred’s going to make a carrot cake. Oh, and we’re making gravy. Oh, and don’t forget the cranberry sauce, he reminded me as I was driving from Target to Publix to see if there were any turkeys smaller than 15 pounds, and also because Target had no collard greens. I prefer collard greens to turnip greens, because they’re not as bitter. In case you were wondering, and I think we all know that you were. He also reminded me to pick up an extra box of confectioner’s sugar because he knew we had one box at home, but just in case. I bought a bag of confectioner’s sugar (cheaper than the box), then got home to find that way in the back, we already had a second box of the stuff. Ah well – we’ll use it up someday, right? I’ll be glad to have Thanksgiving over with so I can start (and finish, hopefully) the Christmas shopping. I want to get everything bought, wrapped, and sent by December 5th. I might be dreaming, though. I probably am. I’m going to gear up by getting my lists started tomorrow, so that when Friday dawns I can at least get a good half of everything I’ll need bought online. Maybe one year I’ll turn into one of those horrible people who gets their Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving. Probably not, though. I can’t stand you super-prepared motherfuckers, you make all of us look bad.
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Someone asked me to pass along a message. Dear Bitchypoo readers: I can believe that, in the “Playing Favorites” poll, where you had to choose your favorite And3rson cat, the majority of you chose I could never choose just one favorite!, because you are wishy-washy, willy-nilly, noncommittal motherfuckers who can’t tell us apart and couldn’t possibly choose just one stupid cat to vote for. I can believe that Mister Boogers came in an easy second, because humans are stupid suckers for a pretty face, but super-stupid suckers for an angry, hateful, glaring face. The secret, stupidheads, is that while he’s all mean and glaring and “Ah hets yew” (fucking redneck), the truth is that Mister Boogers is actually a sweet, purring, loving cat. You kiss him on the head, he’s all “I LOVE YEW! I MEANT THAT I LOVES YEW! NO HET HERE!” You raise a paw to him, and rather than putting on his ass-kicking shoes, he rolls over onto his back and is all “Mercy, sir! I meant no insult! Please lick me on my head and be kind to me!” I can believe that Miss Momma (also known as Maxi, because That Stupid Human who doesn’t give me nearly enough snacks refuses to give in and just call her “Miss Momma” in her journal like she does in real life, I do not know WHY, it must be some stupid kind of stupid human logic) merited only five measly little votes. She doesn’t have her picture posted on the internets nearly as often as the rest of us. It’s only logical. What I cannot believe, however, is that I only got NINE GODDAMN VOTES. Nine votes?! Are you fucking KIDDING ME? How goddamn STUPID are you people? Can you not recognize the sweet, sly, subtle attractiveness of an older cat? Are you so swayed by the stupid, happy-go-lucky orange cats and the faux-angry glaring cat and the ugly eye-boogery bitchy cat that you can overlook me completely? Are you SHITTING ME? I thought you humans were stupid and evil and also kind of ugly, but I had no idea until now JUST how stupid you are. It stuns me. Whores, every goddamn last one of you. Ye shall know the wrath of my hatred, and ye shall beg forgiveness, but THERE IS NO FORGIVENESS FOR YOU IN MY COLD BLACK HEART, you fuckers. Respectfully, Spot J. And3rson.
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I sure do love this little goofball of a cat. I love the way Punki (left) is drinking out of the water bowl and Felicia is licking the water off the rim of the bowl. Such sweet girls. “What?” “Can’t a girl hide in a kitty condo without you flashing that thing at her all the time?!” Bath time! The sisters are fascinated by that little pig toy – the tail pulls out, and then when you release it, it goes back in, vibrating the entire time. ***************************** Stinkerbelle illustrates what a chortle looks like.
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Previously 2006: Meme-licious. 2005: No entry. 2004: No entry. 2003: “I JUST SAID THAT!” 2002: At least it knocked Johnny Poopoopants out of the loop. 2001: How the hell can you cheat on Survivor, for the love o’ god? 2000: Oh, you’re giving us the COT free of charge? Well, let me do a friggin’ happy dance for that!” 1999: No, I’m the same old awful, lazy, horrid person I always was]]>

30 thoughts on “11-20-07”

  3. I voted for Tom Cullen and I’m not taking it back. He’s handsome and I like his name (which is pretty much how I decided to go out with Pookie in the first place, so it’s a method (a shallow method, to be sure) that works for me.
    Sorry Spot. Gee, maybe if you cleaned up a bit, made an effort. Borrow a brush, dude.
    (I love you Tommy!)

  6. Sorry, Spot. I voted for Meester Boogers, he’s still my favorite. I even have his picture on my desk, you know, the one that looks like he’s saying “What!!”. But I love you too. Please don’t het me. All the And3rson kitties give me a good laugh everyday and I sure do appreciate that. Thnx!

  11. Spot, blame your owner…. she doesn’t put YOUR picture up as often as she puts up the others, especially Newt, Maxi, Mr. Boogers, Tommy OR Sugarbutt. Get after her, will ya’?

  12. Looks like you got the “Martha” votes, Spot…I also voted for you, so I disregarded that stupid letter.

  13. Chiming in with the 4th Spot vote. I wasn’t going to mention it, but since you are being so hateful about it, Spot, I actually meant to vote for Spanky but got the names mixed up. I shudder to think what that makes me. *snicker*

  16. The little black and white kitty looks shocked by Spot’s language!
    I voted for Spanky and I’m not afraid to say so.

  17. I had no idea Spot had such a mouth on him!! I didn’t vote, but if I had, it would probably have been for Miz Poo by a small margin. I love all kitties, but I’m still a sucker for torties.
    The reason I came over here was this: I followed a link to the following site on my lunch hour today, and was struck by how much “Caprtain Morgan” reminded me of Spot. They could be brothers.
    I hope this cut and paste link works for you. I just copied it from the page I was on. If you want to vote in the contest, you have to start an account on the website, and then you can read all of the animals stories.
    http://www.hillspet.com/hillspet/minisite/minisite.hjsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=1408474395185663&CONTENT%3C%3Ecnt_id=10134198673443425&bmUID=1195591016310

  19. Sorry Spot,it’s always the quiet ones that get overlooked.
    I can’t help myself regarding Mister Boogers. He’s a bad boy and well,bad boys ARE sexy,no doubt about it.
    Best wishes to you,Spot. rundmc

  21. Sorry Spot,
    Thank you for your heartfelt response. You know, your Mama really sells you short. I had no idea you were so articulate and intelligent. I was under the impression you were, sorry to say, a scaredy cat and a bit of a “dumbass.” Had I known differently, would I have changed my vote to you from Meester Boogers?- probably not, because I like cats who are full of piss and vinegar, and the Boogs ranks high on that score alone.
    But Spot, tell your Mama to give you a little more webspace, and you may win me over yet.
    Have a good Thanksgiving.

  23. I had no idea that Spot harbored so much resentment. This is my official public apology to Spot. If it is any condolence, I forgot to vote for anybody.
    Please don’t hate me and come over to my house and take my sleeping babie’s breath!!!!!
    Kloveyabye.

  25. I swear to God this is the truth: Until the second sentence of the second paragraph, when “stupidhead” tipped me off, I thought the message was from Jane.
    **ducking and running in a serpentine fashion**

  26. Upon re-reading, I should have caught the “us” in the first paragraph, but what can I say, I’m a skimmer.
    And in case there’s any doubt, I ::heart:: Jane and want to be her when I grow up, so I wasn’t being bitchy.

  28. Sorry Spot, I have 4 of my own kitties and I cannot imagine picking a favorite. They are my children. I consider you guys my nieces and nephews. I love you all!

  29. Sry, Spot, one of the noncomittal hoowhars here, I luhhrrvvve you all too much!! Don’t come to Florida and kill me in my sleep! Susan, too funny on the Snakkin Time vid, love the part were the kitteh says “no” and the fork usage, classic!! Our “snacking time” (accompanied by the patented “Who’s ready for the snacking?” phrase) is more of a stampede. Wishing the And3rs0n family and all the readers a wonderful day of Thanksgiving!

  30. Robyn, I truly think that Spot needs anger management classes. If she got that upset over the voting, just imagine what she could do to you in your sleep if you foret a snakkin time or push her off the desk. I am truly afraid for you and Fred. SAVE THE AND3ERSONS!!!
    I voted the “I couldn’t pick one” and I’m not sorry! I love you alllll !

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