Brian Ferdman is participating in Mustaches for Kids. That’s right, for the next four weeks, I will be subjecting myself to public humiliation and private doubt by growing what will no-doubt be a ridiculous looking Mustache. In order to justify this endeavor I need your support. Please sponsor my Mustache, El Conquistador, by picking a classroom project from the list to support. And wish me and my Mustache luck.
In my comments for Friday’s entry, m.allen said:
I think you use only Freshstep litter. However, if Challenger’s House has to buy litter, they might be interested in a PetSmart Deal. PetSmart currently has Tidy Cats 35lb scoopable containers on sale for 12.99. They have special containers now that have $5.00 off PetSmart coupons inside. The coupons are good on any PetSmart purchase until 5/2010 with perks card. Also, Purina has blue flyers of coupons as you walk in the door of PetSmart. There is a $2.00 off coupon for any package of Tidy Cats scoopable. It is valid until 11/30/2009. So, with a bit of wheeling and dealing, Tidy Cat will be $12.99 – $2.00 purina – $5.00 PetSmart coupon = $5.99. This works out to about $.17 lb. Freshstep at my Sam’s is 14.49 per 40lb container. It works out to $.36 lb (plus tax).
You do have to buy a container and open it to get the first $5.00 coupon. So there is a bit of work involved but I think it is a good deal.
You may not be interested but if any of your readers are looking for inexpensive shelter donations – this is a good option! Shelters don’t care if the litter has been opened to fish out a coupon. 🙂
That is such a good deal that I wanted to make sure y’all knew about it!
FOAM 8: Food: Jalapeno Jelly. I think I went a little heavy on the food coloring this time around. That is NUCLEAR green, right there.
Outside: Off the side porch into the back yard.
Abstract: Kara’s fur, up close.
Myself: In the recliner in my bedroom. These pictures of myself are starting to all look alike. I need to mix it up!
I have to admit: I’m not entirely sure why this is considered an awkward family photo. I think it’s kind of nice.
On Sunday, Fred and I were both in the computer room talking about something or another. I’m sure it was fascinating. I heard a wasp hit the window, glanced up to see which window it was in, and grabbed a piece of paper towel to grab and squish it. I lifted up the blind, reached my hand (with the piece of paper towel in it) toward the wasp. The wasp reacted by flying at me, and I felt it hit my hand.
Because I am such an utter badass, I ran in place and screamed. Fred turned around to see what the hell I was doing, and then laughed at me. Then I started looking to see where the wasp had gone, so I could grab and squish it. It wansn’t in the window where it had been, it wasn’t in my hair or on my sweatshirt (Fred even checked in the hood of my sweatshirt), it wasn’t in the pocket of my sweatshirt. It wasn’t on the floor or the walls, in any of the windows, none of the cats had gotten it.
It was a total mystery. I shrugged and figured it would show up sooner or later, and headed for the bathroom. Fred followed along, and went past the bathroom into the front room. I had peed and flushed the toilet (and I know if I don’t mention this specifically, SOMEONE will call me on it – YES, I wiped after I peed and before I flushed, okay?) and was saying something to Fred (we do not hold on ceremony in our house, and if it’s only the two of us here, we pee with the door open. I know, I know, it’s horribly disgusting and you’d never do such a thing, but shaddup.)
I was standing and beginning to pull my underwear and jeans up, and then suddenly I felt as though a DEMON FROM THE PITS OF HELL had descended upon my arm and was poking it with his flaming pitchfork. I screamed and danced in place, flinging my arms out. Fred came from the front room just in time to see me, pants around my ankles, pulling my sweatshirt over my head.
And then the DEMON FROM THE PITS OF HELL poked his flaming pitchfork at my wrist, and I screamed again whilst dancing a jig. I got the sweatshirt pulled off, and as I tossed it onto the floor the DEMON FROM THE PITS OF HELL went buzzing by my head.
I screamed again.
“GODDAMN,” I said. “GODDAMN THAT GODDAMN FUCKING THING WAS IN MY FUCKING SHIRT GODDAMN.”
Fred helpfully collapsed against the wall of the hallway and laughed very hard.
I ran out of the bathroom and stood in the hall, pulled up my underwear and jeans, and buckled my belt.
“GODDAMN, GET IN THERE AND KILL IT!” I bellowed.
Fred dutifully went into the bathroom and located the fucking wasp in the window.
“GIVE ME MY SWEATSHIRT BUT CHECK IT FIRST TO MAKE SURE THERE’S NOT ANOTHER WASP IN THERE! GODDAMN,” I bellowed from the computer room.
Fred dutifully checked my sweatshirt for further wasps and then handed it over to me.
In the end, that goddamn wasp was in just the wrong position to be smacked by the fly swatter, so we used the Dyson and sucked it into the canister. I hope it died a horrible, painful death. Fucking fucker.
Would you believe I made it almost to the age of 42 without ever being stung by a wasp or a bee? I had hoped it would be a lifelong non-stinging streak. Fucking wasps.
On the other hand, I’ve probably killed 1,000 of the fucking things, and this is the first time one has stung me. It’s CERTAINLY the first time one has flown up the arm of my shirt and stayed there for several minutes before stinging me.
On the other other hand, I can report that actually, it’s not so bad. It hurt like a motherfucker for three or four minutes, but after that, it didn’t hurt at all unless I pressed right on the spot where the fucking thing stung me. The puncture wound Violet gave me in my thumb with her back claw hurt way worse than that, and for a lot longer.
Maybe I need to foster wasps instead of kittens.
(Too bad wasps aren’t nearly as cute. Also, I bet it would be a bitch to get them adopted out!)
If you didn’t check Love & Hisses over the weekend, you missed some pictures of the kittens I babysat on Saturday – and some awesome True Blood news!
Someone commented yesterday that Gus looks like he might be made solely of dryer lint. When I read that, I laughed out loud because it’s kinda true!
Bitey little Violet.
I know it looks like I’m torturing him here, but I was really rubbing under his chin, and he was purring so hard his ear floof was vibrating.
Every morning and evening, when the Wonkas get their snack, Gus is always the first to decide he’s full, and then he comes and finds me (which isn’t hard, I’m always in the chair in the foster room, waiting), and he jumps up on my lap and gets me all to himself for a few minutes. When it’s a choice between eating or getting some love, Gus is a lovah, not an eatah.
The past few days, I’ve been a little worried about Blue (TimTam). She’s a good three ounces lighter than the sibling who’s closest in weight (1 pound, 2 1/2 ounces as of yesterday), she only gained half an ounce over three days, and I swear she just seemed too skinny to me. She’s very active, she plays with her brothers and sisters a lot, she loves to be held and petted, she doesn’t seem to be in distress.
So yesterday she climbed in my lap and meowed up at me, and I had an idea. I picked her up, took her over to the food, and put her in front of it.
She proceeded to eat with gusto.
Last night, same thing. She climbed into my lap, meowed up at me, so I put her in front of the food.
She ate with gusto.
So, it’s not that she doesn’t WANT to eat. It’s that her head is filled with marshmallow fluff and she doesn’t always remember that the plate of food, that she passes 300 times a day, is FOOD and is meant to be eaten. My new plan is to set her in front of the food every time I go into the room. We’ll see if she packs on a few ounces – and hey, maybe one of these days she’ll figure out how to walk over to the plate of food on her own!
“I am NOT a Fluffhead!”
Hydrox and Pink (Milano) love to snuggle. Many times, the other cats will get out of the bed and run over to me, and these two will keep on snuggling. (The look on Pink’s face is cracking me UP.)
The whole bunch. From left to right, in the front that’s Blue (TimTam), Orange (Lorna Doone), and Keebler with the big round eyes. In the back, you know Hydrox and Pink (Milano). Pink actually has a white spot on her head; she looks like someone spilled bleach on her head.
Stinkerbelle keeps a close eye on her beloved Tommy.
Previously
2008: No entry.
2007: “I am NOT ‘ratty looking’ and YOU, M’dme, are a pure-d grade-a gutter slutting WHORE. Good day to you.”
2006: He’s such a know-it-all motherfucker.
2005: Elizabeth Wurtzel strikes me as spectacularly self-absorbed (pot! kettle! black!)
2004: Stuff I’ve bought.
2003: No entry.
2002: No entry.
2001: No entry.
2000: “Hey!” I said, shaking the cage. “Stop that!”
1999: No entry.
Gus just gets cuter every day! I have a 4 year old cat who runs to the kitchen when I yell that it’s feeding time, actually I yell “numma numma num”, but that’s another story, anyway, if she doesn’t actually see me put the food in her bowl she will just stand there like a toad until I pick her up and place her right in front of the dish…. it drives me crazy because her brothers know how to find the food!
Don’t you wonder how on EARTH they’d survive in the wild if they can’t see the food that’s RIGHT in front of them??
Of course you pee with the door open – YOU HAVE CATS! Who else here pees with the door open? /raises arm and waves wildly.
My cats are terribly offended by closed doors and oh the trauma! The drama! The way they fling their kitty bodies against the door is insane. I do appreciate the paw reaching under the door. Do they really think they can reach something??? Apparently they do, and it is pretty friggin amusing. Disgusting? Nah, we all gotta do it, and to be honest, big whoop is what I say. Hunny & I are pretty durned comfortable with each other, and in situations like this, we are wont to say ‘the honeymoon, she is over’ and that is OK.
Those Cookie kitties? Too. Fucking. Cute. Awesome good news at Love & Hisses! I don’t think I could let go of those lil babies, they bring out the total mother in me, just want to hold and love them. Sheesh.
Oh god, I LOVE it when cats are locked out of a room and they stick their arms under the door all the way to the shoulder and wildly wave their arms around. It always cracks me up!
Even after 10 years together, my DH is VERY phobic about letting me see/hear him in the bathroom on the throne, lol. In fact, our bathroom door/lock/jamb broke several years back and was not fixable – and today we are beginning the tear-out and getting the whole room gutted and redone. The first thing on his list of purchases? A door that locks. ROFL. As for me? meh. whatever.
LOL! What a way to start my morning! And what a great visual I had in my head. You are too funny Robyn.
Brings back memories of my first bee sting on my foot when I was wearing sandals. I woke my husband out of a dead sleep crying and hopping around. He put some baking soda and water on it to get the sting out.OUCH! I got my second one 20 yrs later on the golf course. 3 guesses where he stung me. I couldn’t sit for a couple hours after.
Yeah, I put baking soda and water on the stings, and apparently it did the job!
The “awkward family photo” you posted is interesting. There isn’t much to say about it. But the picture they have posted for Sunday?!?!? bwahahahahaha That is the pic that site had to be created for. I wish that grampa was in my family… so long as I never have to take a picture with him. oh my (Link is set as my url)
It took me a good long second to figure out what was going on in that picture! 🙂
But did you wash your hands after you peed? Inquiring minds want to know!
But of course I washed my hands! 🙂 (EVENTUALLY!)
Your quote from 2007 is cracking me up. It’s very KATG “I shit on you” isn’t it? 🙂
Ha – it really is!
Just think of all the exercise you’d get if you fostered wasps…all that screaming and dancing in place. Or maybe you’d get used to it.
We made the trip to Petsmart Sunday, and Bill was adopted. Lafayette was stretched out across the glass, snoozing peacefully, with his little front paws crossed under his chin. SO cute. (And LONG!) Terry was curled up behind him, probably supporting him against the window. 😉
Yeah, they seem to have adapted pretty well to being in the cage (and being stared at). I suspect those two will go soon – a foster momma can hope!
If it ever happens again, PEE ON IT! The ammonia in urine will calm a wasp sting … and obviously you were already in position for it… 😉
Hope you’re feeling better!
All I could think about after that story is that if you reacted to the kittens the same way, your Dyson would get all clogged up.
All clogged up WITH MARSHMALLOW FLUFF! 😀
I can’t believe you’ve lived out in the country for this long without being stung by something. That’s gotta be some kind of record…!
Hey, I can’t believe it took me almost 42 years to get stung – and here’s to hoping it’s another 42 before I get stung again!
I wish my head was so filled with marshmallow fluff that I would forget to eat. Yummm…marshmallow fluff…
I think that awkward photo *would* have been much nicer, it’s a perfectly fine photo except, for some unknown reason, they went and made the blue scarves the focus of the photo. They were trying to have some unifying theme? Why??? The people are presumably unified by something else, the reason they’re in the photo together, they’re family, or friends? Is there something about the blue scarves? They had a sister who died who loved blue scarves, so maybe the blue scarf is some kind of tribute to her? I don’t know. Maybe there IS a reason you couldn’t know unless you know *them* but otherwise, it’s a really unnecessary distraction from what the real focus should be, which is the nice faces of the nice people. Just my $.02 🙂
Looks like Penny’s had a sale on blue scarves. It would have been better with a pattern in one or tied in different styles. Lovely looking famiy but you don’t hardly notice them for the scarves.
I’ve never been stung!!
You are the best foster kitty mom ever! I also wish I would forget to eat. Occasionally I do when absorbed in a fascinating task but I somehow remember all too soon. I got stung on the lip by a yellow jacket in my open soda can 2 years ago. Lip was swollen like a duck. I never leave my soda can uncovered and unattended outdoors anymore. Hydrox and Pink are the most adorable snugglers! Our first two cats Sylvester and Cleo cudddled like that for the 14 yrs we had them. We swear they were a couple-we’ve never since had two cats love each other as much. He was a year older than her.
My sister once had a bee fly up her nose and sting her! Stupid stinging insects.
Apropos of nothing at all – BravoTV.com is now showing full episodes of “Real Housewives of Orange County”. I was so excited since we don’t get Bravo on our cable lineup! The new season looks pretty good so far, especially if you’ve been keeping up with the Tamra/Gretchen nonsense during the off season.
Do the cookies have blue eyes?!?! I want them ALL!!! Oh my goodness are they gorgeous. 😀
Those white -ish cookies will keep the blue eys.
Oops…I got distracted by that last comment. I meant to say , wasp stings usually hurt worse than bee stings.
The last time I got stung,I think I was 13, a bee flew right into the middle of my forehead and stung me. I started screaming and flailing around…(we were visiting some relatives at the time) my stepmom
said ,to me” oh stop being so over dramatic!”
Well, I think you can imagine my inner glee when a few minutes later ,I heard HER screaming, being stung ,flailing about,and being over dramatic.
Karma baby 🙂
I also pee with the door wide open. The cats don’t like to miss out on that old lady extravaganza. I take adoration where I can get it.
I don’t think my husband is too impressed with the open door peeing.
Oh well ….
I actually thought that pic with the blue scarves was good too. I like Black and white with color. But what the hell do I know, I don’t even shut the door to pee.
Hand up, me and the hubs pee w/the door open. Only pee. My parents who’ve been married forever NEVER pee in front of each other, but I was raised in a naked house. It’s ok to be naked, just don’t have any bodily functions. Weird. Ok, I’ve shared more than you really wanted to know.
Damn those cookies are just the cutest kittens evah!