10/26/05

Compare that to now:

They grow so fast, don’t they? For a mushy-type entry with tons of pictures, check last year’s entry.
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I got an email from someone this morning telling me that they were seriously interested in buying bitchypoo.com and that if I were interested in selling it, I should respond to their email with an asking price. I’m seriously uninterested in selling the domain, but I guess it’s nice to be asked. I should have said my asking price was $25,000 just to see what they said.
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I went into Huntsville yesterday around noon, which was a big, big, HUGE mistake. I hit the pet store to buy some kitten food, and it wasn’t too terribly busy. Then I went over to Target to get something for the spud’s birthday, and it was PACKED. Not only was it packed, but it was packed with dumbasses who simultaneously did not know of the move your fucking cart to the side of the aisle if you’re going to stop and look at something rule, and were also ignorant of the concept of my personal bubble. I guess maybe because I’m fat I get less of a bubble than other people? Is that how that works? The skinny people get a nice big bubble of personal space, but when it comes to the fat chicks, it’s A-OK to be an inch and a half from my ass? I will tell you that when someone invades my bubble, it makes me extremely tense and hostile, and I have to fight the urge to turn around and scream “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you need to get a little closer? Didn’t you intend to actually be UP.MY.ASS, because it appears you’re headed in that direction. If I SIT ON YOU, will you back up about five inches?” So I got what I needed at Target and then drove through the horrendous traffic to Sam’s, where I couldn’t find a fucking parking space within half a mile of the store, and I threw up my hands and said “FUCK THIS”, because if there are THAT many cars in the parking lot, that could only mean that the lines inside were all going to be 63 people long, and I hate having to fight my way through Sam’s, get my Splenda and water, and then have to stand in line for-fucking-ever. So I went home. I guess next time I decide to hit Sam’s, I should do my best to get there right as they open, before the crowds descend.
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“What? You’ve never seen a cat in a box?” “Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu!” “Happy birthday, dear spu-ud! Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuu!” Nuttin’ happier than a sleeping kitten. Jazz hands! All of today’s uploaded pictures are here.
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Previously 2004: I hope you dance. 2003: No entry. 2002: “You want to buy STUFF faster than we get rid of it!” he accused shrilly. 2001: Well, the little bastard is home again. 2000: No entry. 1999: Boring work-related shit.]]>

57 thoughts on “10/26/05”

  1. oh, the bubble invaders, or the giant-bubble-havers… I HATE it when you go halfway down an aisle, and pause there, and sometimes even say excuse me, and they do… not… move. So you have to go down the next aisle and around just to get to an item that was just past that person. Dammit.

  6. Happy Birthday SPUD! Enjoy 17!!!
    The “Jazz Hands” caption made me laugh. Out loud. In great snorking bursts.

  11. Happy birthday, Spud!! 🙂
    And Robyn, that first pic of Tom Cullen looks exactly like one of Mr. Booger’s “I’m too sexy” looks!

  12. Happy, happy birthday, Spud! 17 was a long, long time ago for me, but I remember it very well 🙂 Hope your whole year is fantastic! Don’t forget to show us pictures when you get all dressed up in your fancy stuff for that dance, OK?

  13. Happy Birthday Spud!! =)
    The personal bubble thing is so damn funny! It ALWAYS happens to me. I could be in some remote aisle with nothing but adult diapers and enema kits…LOL, and some asshat will come strolling down with their giant cart and stand riiiiiight next to me. Grrr!

  16. Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!! Happy birthday dear Spuu-uuuud!! Happy birthday to yeeee-eeeew!!!!!

  18. Happy Happy Berfday Spud! Hope it is a wonderful one! The personal space-takers always make me go postal. I mean, do you not see me tense up and act like you are a rattlesnake ready to bite me? I don’t get it. People suck sometimes. But not the Spud!

  31. Happy 17th Birthday, Danielle!! I remember being 17…that is a great age for a girl. :o)
    Robyn:
    I know your pain although it is the WalMart trips that about kill me. I swear my IQ drops 30 points by the end of the “experience”. I only go there when I am desperate to find an item, such as my Silly Putty quest last weekend. Well, I found a generic version at least. I discovered while reading the Sunday newspaper comics with my neighbor’s 5 yr old granddaughter that she has no idea what it is. So next Sunday I am going to surprise her and show her the magic of the putty with the comics.

  32. Oh Happpy Birthday (again), Spud!
    After reading the entry from last year…sobsobsob….I had to say it again.

  33. Happy Birthday, Spud! Hope your “Year of 17” is as fun as mine was … back in 1976 … ouch! You’re beautiful!

  34. Happy happy birthday, spud/Danielle! I hope this will be your best year yet and that they just keep getting better!

  35. Happy Birthday Spud! I hate the bubble thing too and the isle rule is a must…I see people who do that and I look rudely at them, roll my eyes and walk off. Aren’t I peachy. Hope you have a great one Spud!

  39. Happy Happy Birthday, Spud!!!
    I missed last year’s entry…don’t know what’s up with that!!! I read it this year…and I think it is very moving!!!
    What’s really weird is that my nephew’s nickname is Spud, too!!! I can’t remember why, though!!!

  40. Happy Birthday Spud! (Have you thanked your mom for all her efforts 17 years ago?) Your homecoming dress is beautiful. You look Mahvelous!

  43. Happy Birthday, Spud!!!!!!!! I hope you have a great one. And happy birthing day to Mz. Robyn! MWAH!

  44. I don’t want to think that Spud is 17 because it means mine is fixing to be 18..sigh..she is still a cutie even after all these years.
    What I think it is with the whole bubble thing is that you have this attraction to you..you know..like with the kitties laying all over you..you must smell nice Robyn, take that as a compliment..LOL
    Wanna know what real shopping hell is?
    Opening day at the new 280,000 sq ft Supercenter..in Arkansas..
    Yep, that is the talk of the town today. We got the newest and biggest design. Whoo.

  47. Happy birthday, Spud!!!
    I think you hit the nail on the head, Robyn. When I was skinny, no one invaded my bubble. Now? ALL UP IN MY SPACE. Just five minutes ago I was in line for coffee, and the chick behind me was, I swear, trying to become my Siamese twin. It’s times like this that I wish I had horrible BO or halitosis or something to stave off the ass-getter-up-ins.

  48. Happy birthday, Spud! (Do you ever wish your mom had picked a different internet moniker for you?)
    🙂

  52. For your Birthday I am posting Some song Lyrics, Spud
    Seventeen only comes once in a lifetime
    Don’t it just fly by wild and free
    Goin any way the wind blew, baby
    Seventeen, livin on crazy dreams
    Rock and roll and faded blue jeans
    And standing on the edge of everything
    Seventeen-Tim Mcgraw
    Happy Birthday Spud

  53. Belated happy birthday to the spud!
    Also, to her momma: AMEN AND HALLELUJAH to the “personal bubble” and people up your ass thing. I could have written that myself, but I ain’t as good as you. 🙂 Ha!

  55. Happy Belated Birthday Spud!!!
    Ahhh….. I remember 17 like it was a looooog time ago. Hope you had a great one!

  56. Happy Birthday Spud, and best wishes for the year ahead!
    I too am a member of the Personal Bubble Fanclub. I recently moved to the UK from Canada and find that people here have no problem with standing 2 inches away from your face, or running your feet over with their stroller, or – the one that makes me FUME – brushing against your front while walking by.
    I had my bottom grabbed at the grocery store the other day and it was so packed, I couldn’t turn around quickly enough to figure out who did it. Us Canadian girls are used to a LOT more personal space!! Grr.
    And hey, for $40,000 you could host your site at http://www.imadeakillingbysellingbitchypoo.com and laugh all the way to the bank. Or Hawaii.
    I won’t mind typing the extra letters if you send us a postcard.

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